Pyroclast
Add alcohol and stir!
Syd Porter
Despite the deep laceration across his chest, all Syd wanted was to go home and get into bed. Too dazed and exhausted to form any kind of argument, he didn't resist when lifted to his feet and lead into the back of James' car. Once enclosed from the horrors of the outside world, the four of them took comfort in the silence. The gentle purr of the engine and the low light of dusk soon lulled Syd to sleep and he spent the ride leaning heavily against Aliana who was sitting with him in the backseat.
Finn was prompt to meet them at the apartment in Manhattan and he treated them one by one, cleaning their wounds and stitching them up as required. By now, Syd had had enough injuries to know the procedure and so it didn't faze him; he sat obediently enough, eyes closed and listening to his Uncle Finn's well-practised words of reassurance and comfort. The apartment was much busier than usual and held an unsettled atmosphere as everyone was processing the evenings events in their own ways. Syd was almost thankful for the physical pain as it provided an effective distraction from the commotion around him. Once Finn was finished with him, he quietly thanked his uncle and wandered over to a quieter area, unsure of what to do with himself. He picked up a red fleece pullover that he had previously left there and put it on, having had to remove his bloodied shirt to be stitched up. The soft, oversized fabric brought instant comfort to him and smelt faintly of his dogs. Lucy came to find him then, placing a gentle hand on his back to guide him into the office. He followed her to the sofa and took a seat beside her, his distant gaze settling somewhere beyond the window.
James brought his chair around from behind the desk so that he could sit closer to them and Syd looked to him - though he only managed to meet his eye for a couple of seconds before having to look away. His face still felt puffy from all the crying and he was sure he didn't look the way he would normally like his family to see him. After a brief moment of peaceful silence, his father began to ask them questions about what had happened. As Lucy filled him in, Syd realised how much of the evening he had already forgotten - her mention of Arlene and Vinnie Romano jolted his memory and he squeezed her hand, shifting closer to her to place his other hand on her shaking knee.
When she started to express regret for continuing with the dangerous life they had made for themselves, Syd grew uncomfortable, a slight guilt creeping in as she seemed to blame James for the trauma that had been brought upon him. Having always been so determined to see the mob succeed, he would never want to blame anyone but the enemy for bringing harm to his family - especially not his father, whom he looked up to with great respect and admiration. His mother was obviously deeply upset by the continuous loss and gripped by a fear of losing any more people close to her heart. While he knew she worried about him a lot due to his mental health issues, she didn't often vocalise her more general concerns about the future of the mob to him, nor the nightmares that burdened her. He certainly had never heard her express such a serious lack of faith in their ability to survive; hearing that she wanted to return to Ireland, Syd drew away from her.
"We've never given up before..." He spoke without thinking, but it was a instant and honest reflection of how he felt. Unsure of how to construct a point, he simply stared at the floor between them and shook his head. It hurt him to see his mother so hopeless. Whenever he was transitioning between two different dosages or two different medications, Syd was particularly prone to suicidal thoughts, a temptation to just end everything creeping to the forefront of his mind. Seeing hope for the future in his parents and the rest of his family was the only thing that helped him to avoid giving in to those temptations. Except now, it seemed not even his mother wanted to carry on. "You never let me give up." His voice almost reached a whisper as he tried to work out if it was fair of her to want to give up now, too. No loving mother wants to lose a son, so of course she had done everything she could to steer him away from his suicidal tendencies. Yet, it was for the same reason - not wanting to lose any more family and friends - that she was now on the side of giving up. For every decision she made, her love for others was always put first. She always chose life over anything else.
"We can't just uproot our lives and move back to Ireland," he said, though his tone still carried a level of uncertainty. "We've got businesses, partnerships, contracts - it'd take time to close them all, and...who knows what they could do to us during that time." His voice was low and a little rough, verbalising his thoughts as soon as they came together in his mind. "I want it to stop too, mam, I can't -" His words caught in his throat as he remembered how close he had come to losing Sinead and Lucy earlier that evening. A tear fell down his face and he instantly reached up to catch it with his sleeve, turning away from the two of them as he did. He heaved a sigh, wishing there was an easy solution. "While we're here, we might as well fight. Because it's not about luck, it's about not giving up. Everything we built here, all our businesses and our connections, they're only successful because we had faith in them. Even a drug addiction and a kidnapping hasn't stopped Gwen and Savvy from chasing their dreams. Giving up isn't an option right now, at least not for some of us. But if you..." He trailed off, then cleared his throat as he forced himself to continue. "If you wanted to start moving people to a safer place, you could...move without us." Syd kept his eyes fixed to the floor, hating the words that he found himself saying. Pulling his collar up to cover his mouth, he waited reluctantly to hear his parents' response.
Interactions
Misty Gray James
Bellz Lucy
Despite the deep laceration across his chest, all Syd wanted was to go home and get into bed. Too dazed and exhausted to form any kind of argument, he didn't resist when lifted to his feet and lead into the back of James' car. Once enclosed from the horrors of the outside world, the four of them took comfort in the silence. The gentle purr of the engine and the low light of dusk soon lulled Syd to sleep and he spent the ride leaning heavily against Aliana who was sitting with him in the backseat.
Finn was prompt to meet them at the apartment in Manhattan and he treated them one by one, cleaning their wounds and stitching them up as required. By now, Syd had had enough injuries to know the procedure and so it didn't faze him; he sat obediently enough, eyes closed and listening to his Uncle Finn's well-practised words of reassurance and comfort. The apartment was much busier than usual and held an unsettled atmosphere as everyone was processing the evenings events in their own ways. Syd was almost thankful for the physical pain as it provided an effective distraction from the commotion around him. Once Finn was finished with him, he quietly thanked his uncle and wandered over to a quieter area, unsure of what to do with himself. He picked up a red fleece pullover that he had previously left there and put it on, having had to remove his bloodied shirt to be stitched up. The soft, oversized fabric brought instant comfort to him and smelt faintly of his dogs. Lucy came to find him then, placing a gentle hand on his back to guide him into the office. He followed her to the sofa and took a seat beside her, his distant gaze settling somewhere beyond the window.
James brought his chair around from behind the desk so that he could sit closer to them and Syd looked to him - though he only managed to meet his eye for a couple of seconds before having to look away. His face still felt puffy from all the crying and he was sure he didn't look the way he would normally like his family to see him. After a brief moment of peaceful silence, his father began to ask them questions about what had happened. As Lucy filled him in, Syd realised how much of the evening he had already forgotten - her mention of Arlene and Vinnie Romano jolted his memory and he squeezed her hand, shifting closer to her to place his other hand on her shaking knee.
When she started to express regret for continuing with the dangerous life they had made for themselves, Syd grew uncomfortable, a slight guilt creeping in as she seemed to blame James for the trauma that had been brought upon him. Having always been so determined to see the mob succeed, he would never want to blame anyone but the enemy for bringing harm to his family - especially not his father, whom he looked up to with great respect and admiration. His mother was obviously deeply upset by the continuous loss and gripped by a fear of losing any more people close to her heart. While he knew she worried about him a lot due to his mental health issues, she didn't often vocalise her more general concerns about the future of the mob to him, nor the nightmares that burdened her. He certainly had never heard her express such a serious lack of faith in their ability to survive; hearing that she wanted to return to Ireland, Syd drew away from her.
"We've never given up before..." He spoke without thinking, but it was a instant and honest reflection of how he felt. Unsure of how to construct a point, he simply stared at the floor between them and shook his head. It hurt him to see his mother so hopeless. Whenever he was transitioning between two different dosages or two different medications, Syd was particularly prone to suicidal thoughts, a temptation to just end everything creeping to the forefront of his mind. Seeing hope for the future in his parents and the rest of his family was the only thing that helped him to avoid giving in to those temptations. Except now, it seemed not even his mother wanted to carry on. "You never let me give up." His voice almost reached a whisper as he tried to work out if it was fair of her to want to give up now, too. No loving mother wants to lose a son, so of course she had done everything she could to steer him away from his suicidal tendencies. Yet, it was for the same reason - not wanting to lose any more family and friends - that she was now on the side of giving up. For every decision she made, her love for others was always put first. She always chose life over anything else.
"We can't just uproot our lives and move back to Ireland," he said, though his tone still carried a level of uncertainty. "We've got businesses, partnerships, contracts - it'd take time to close them all, and...who knows what they could do to us during that time." His voice was low and a little rough, verbalising his thoughts as soon as they came together in his mind. "I want it to stop too, mam, I can't -" His words caught in his throat as he remembered how close he had come to losing Sinead and Lucy earlier that evening. A tear fell down his face and he instantly reached up to catch it with his sleeve, turning away from the two of them as he did. He heaved a sigh, wishing there was an easy solution. "While we're here, we might as well fight. Because it's not about luck, it's about not giving up. Everything we built here, all our businesses and our connections, they're only successful because we had faith in them. Even a drug addiction and a kidnapping hasn't stopped Gwen and Savvy from chasing their dreams. Giving up isn't an option right now, at least not for some of us. But if you..." He trailed off, then cleared his throat as he forced himself to continue. "If you wanted to start moving people to a safer place, you could...move without us." Syd kept his eyes fixed to the floor, hating the words that he found himself saying. Pulling his collar up to cover his mouth, he waited reluctantly to hear his parents' response.
Interactions
Misty Gray James
Bellz Lucy