Futuristic EDENSEED - The Genesian War OOC

[Lekiel]

KhazTheGiraffe

Quite a bit of changes required, so bear with me ;

1. EdenKnight Codename - Please refer to the standard naming conventions for subject number. Refer back to me if you still have no idea what I'm asking for.

2. For his mother to be a lead engineer/designer on the Tsujinbo Canons, she would have to be a daughter of the Family Clan herself. i.e. Diana Aoiki Tsujinbo *Aoiki is a random japanese sounding name, you may use others as you wish*. That would make Dom, Eurasian, no changes to appearance necessary. Just add this fact about his mother to your background. If you would like to maintain his current heritage, then change the part about Diana being a lead designer to "one of the designers/engineers that contributed to the design of..."

3. "His mother was a lead designer for the Tsujinbo Canons that protected the city and a weapons expert for ground troops, EVE's, and ATAC's...". Diana can be a weapons expert for EVE designs but definitely not for ATACs. ATACs are confederation. The Union mechs are called NARCs.

4. 7th Sense: I would suggest toning it down and calling his ability Mindblast or something along those lines. Dom emits a powerful shockwave capable of stunning/dazing all individuals around him for 5 seconds in a 10 meter radius. He can extend this ability's range to 20 meters at more severe cost to his health. The seizures and other things you have stated as his sacrifice is adequate. No changes to that part.

5. "... aptitude for engineering and he was assigned to help construct armour for ATAC's." Do change the part about "ATAC" to the relevant union mech terminology.

6. On your EVE description. Please use the aforementioned naming terminology in the guide and from the main thread, section on EVEs. Since its made in Kasai, manufacturers would either be Takeda Heavy Indus. or Tsujinbo Corp. Takeda begins with THIxxxx definitely not thiccc and Tsujinbo begins with TCxxxx Aniketos

7. Now for your EVE. Please pick one of the 5 pre-determined classes. Based on your character ability and current EVE design, Dr. Eurica Sterne recommends going with the Scout (size range 20-30feet). This will be in-line with your EVE's focus on short range weaponry. If you decide with more durability, firepower less speed, then we can go with Brawn or Disruptor (because your 7th sense is akin to disruptors)

8. Should you decide to go ahead with the Scout class, you will have to reduce your payload. Maximum of 2 weapons; suggest to keep your melee weapon and the minigun. You will have to do away with the shield as it comes under EVE ability and you can only have 3. Scouts do not intend to get hit anyway, holding a shield would reduce its agility.

9. No orbital drop EVEs please xD. Humankind is prevented from flying very high because of the unknown Veil surrounding the atmosphere. Also, EVE tech has yet to reach that level where it can protect several hundred tons of falling metal from space height. Other than that, you can keep the same ability characteristics which will be in-line with the Aniketos' role as a scout.

10. Stun ability is okay, but do note it will still have side effects on the pilot. Limbetless ability is also fine.

11. Weakness is fine.

That's about it

FabulousTrash Do note I changed the Disruptors to have only 1 main weapon. But they can have 5 abilities. Stuff like emp grenades (limited supply of these), Electric harpoons (which can also damage enemies) can be considered abilities.

 

[Alecto]

I would still not consider it a hybrid. Rather, a faster than usual brawn. Size and armor plating would still make it much slower than a proper scout.

If you reduce those, then you might as well make a scout.

On second thought, if you drop a slot, go with a booster ability like jet propelled limbs or something and a smaller brawn chassis, then you'll have a brawn with evade bonuses. I.e. 2 weapons 3 abilities. Still not as fast as a scout, but agile enough.

Think of scouts as like the autobot (movie) sideswipe with jet limbs (that's his name i think? The silver car). You have pseudo wheel-legs and can leap on jump jets or even temporarily hover. That's how fast scout EVEs are.

Alecto

Either female or male cs is fine... no one has really submitted anything yet anyway!

Appreciate the help with the mechanics, but I decided to go with a scout-class!

Quick questions though. Hpw advanced are the assisting AIs for the EVEs? And what kind of abilities are off-limits for the seventh sense? Kinda having trouble with deciding on one, esp considering it has to be complemented one way or another by the EVE.

 

[Lekiel]

Appreciate the help with the mechanics, but I decided to go with a scout-class!

Quick questions though. Hpw advanced are the assisting AIs for the EVEs? And what kind of abilities are off-limits for the seventh sense? Kinda having trouble with deciding on one, esp considering it has to be complemented one way or another by the EVE.

How advanced an AI... hmmm certainly not Cortana (Halo Trailer Cortana) or Glados level. They can autopilot EVE's, auto-calculate trajectories for aim assist, tell jokes. Kinda like Jarvis from Ironman movies (minus the Ultron and Vision bit).

WIll get back to you on 7th sense. Just finished work. Gotta drive and grab a bite!

Edit: Alecto 7th senses will be assessed on a case by case basis. So if in doubt, you can always toss the idea my way first!

As a general rule of thumb, senses that can be used to directly inflict harm on others will require more care and 'toning down ' than those that do not. See example of Khaz's character and my suggestion for it.

Possible scout senses could be say... mirage skin. As a human, gain the ability to acoustically change the direction of her voice so that it sounds like it's coming from a different direction or camouflage the body to the environment. Can do both, but never at the same time. In an EVE, could have an ability called disillusion. An advanced cloaking ability that when boosted by the edenknight, allows the eve to create mirror images to distract foes while remaining cloaked. OR the ability could be paired with an Overdrive booster, so for a very short period, gain a huge boost to EVE agility, and allows for pseudo cloaking even while fighting. Essentially, you'll be attacking an enemy but he will only see the position of your EVE as it was two seconds back in time.

Another sense could be a phase shifter. Temporarily phase any part of body except the head out of existence. It'll look like a ghost hand. EVE would have same ability, but perhaps limited to once every few minutes.

Or! Temporal shift. As human, gain the ability to teleport a very short distance. Less than five feet. On EVE, can gain the similar ability but also short distance. Temporally 'shift' the entire EVE just a few meters off to the side which can be handy in dodging. This ability is quite op, so I'd suggest an equally severe sacrifice. Bleeding eyes causing blindness, or internal bleeding etc.

 

[Lekiel]

Alecto edited in a part about 7 senses to the previous post.

 

[Alecto]

Alecto edited in a part about 7 senses to the previous post.

Lovely, thank you! I was already toying with the whole phase shifting, but wasn't exactly sure how to go about it! I'll shoot you a PM when I'm done so you can give it a look before I proceed!

 

[KhazTheGiraffe]

KhazTheGiraffe

Quite a bit of changes required, so bear with me ;

1. EdenKnight Codename - Please refer to the standard naming conventions for subject number. Refer back to me if you still have no idea what I'm asking for.

2. For his mother to be a lead engineer/designer on the Tsujinbo Canons, she would have to be a daughter of the Family Clan herself. i.e. Diana Aoiki Tsujinbo *Aoiki is a random japanese sounding name, you may use others as you wish*. That would make Dom, Eurasian, no changes to appearance necessary. Just add this fact about his mother to your background. If you would like to maintain his current heritage, then change the part about Diana being a lead designer to "one of the designers/engineers that contributed to the design of..."

3. "His mother was a lead designer for the Tsujinbo Canons that protected the city and a weapons expert for ground troops, EVE's, and ATAC's...". Diana can be a weapons expert for EVE designs but definitely not for ATACs. ATACs are confederation. The Union mechs are called NARCs.

4. 7th Sense: I would suggest toning it down and calling his ability Mindblast or something along those lines. Dom emits a powerful shockwave capable of stunning/dazing all individuals around him for 5 seconds in a 10 meter radius. He can extend this ability's range to 20 meters at more severe cost to his health. The seizures and other things you have stated as his sacrifice is adequate. No changes to that part.

5. "... aptitude for engineering and he was assigned to help construct armour for ATAC's." Do change the part about "ATAC" to the relevant union mech terminology.

6. On your EVE description. Please use the aforementioned naming terminology in the guide and from the main thread, section on EVEs. Since its made in Kasai, manufacturers would either be Takeda Heavy Indus. or Tsujinbo Corp. Takeda begins with THIxxxx definitely not thiccc and Tsujinbo begins with TCxxxx Aniketos

7. Now for your EVE. Please pick one of the 5 pre-determined classes. Based on your character ability and current EVE design, Dr. Eurica Sterne recommends going with the Scout (size range 20-30feet). This will be in-line with your EVE's focus on short range weaponry. If you decide with more durability, firepower less speed, then we can go with Brawn or Disruptor (because your 7th sense is akin to disruptors)

8. Should you decide to go ahead with the Scout class, you will have to reduce your payload. Maximum of 2 weapons; suggest to keep your melee weapon and the minigun. You will have to do away with the shield as it comes under EVE ability and you can only have 3. Scouts do not intend to get hit anyway, holding a shield would reduce its agility.

9. No orbital drop EVEs please xD. Humankind is prevented from flying very high because of the unknown Veil surrounding the atmosphere. Also, EVE tech has yet to reach that level where it can protect several hundred tons of falling metal from space height. Other than that, you can keep the same ability characteristics which will be in-line with the Aniketos' role as a scout.

10. Stun ability is okay, but do note it will still have side effects on the pilot. Limbetless ability is also fine.

11. Weakness is fine.

That's about it

FabulousTrash Do note I changed the Disruptors to have only 1 main weapon. But they can have 5 abilities. Stuff like emp grenades (limited supply of these), Electric harpoons (which can also damage enemies) can be considered abilities.

So there was a lot of stuff that wasn't loading on the man page so I was like "???" when filling out the CS lol. But i will fix the stuff.

 

[Lekiel]

Are you on a laptop? Or a 720p screen? I did realize this afternoon that my laptop squished the Infobox (I coded this on my desktop) at the bottom. Had to steal some moments during work to fix it V.V This is on me then, my apologies!!

Codename of EdenKnight? You can find iinfo on it in the Character Sheet outline.

EdenKnight Codename: Subject<random number under 100> NameOfMythologicalBeing (examples can include Arthurian legend; Galahad, Lancelot, Greek/Norse Mythologies; Nuadha, Athena, Asian Legends; Izanami, Amaterasu) e.g. Subject 001, codename Guinevere

so if you're going with Aniketos your code would be:

Subject<random number under 100>, Codename Aniketos.


KhazTheGiraffe

 

[KhazTheGiraffe]

Are you on a laptop? Or a 720p screen? I did realize this afternoon that my laptop squished the Infobox (I coded this on my desktop) at the bottom. Had to steal some moments during work to fix it V.V This is on me then, my apologies!!

Codename of EdenKnight?

EdenKnight Codename: Subject<random number under 100> NameOfMythologicalBeing (examples can include Arthurian legend; Galahad, Lancelot, Greek/Norse Mythologies; Nuadha, Athena, Asian Legends; Izanami, Amaterasu) e.g. Subject 001, codename Guinevere

so if you're going with Aniketos your code would be:

Subject<random number under 100>, Codename Aniketos.


KhazTheGiraffe

Yeah I'm on a laptop. Most of the stuff about the EVE's and ATAC's i couldn't see yesterday but I can see them today. OK thanks :3

 

[Lekiel]

Yay! Apologies again. Any more questions or if you see any ??? stuff on the mainpage do let me know!

 

[CkSmalling]

Well i am officially done. You may read on the post thingy in my CS and tell me what you think

 

[KhazTheGiraffe]

I'm done too. Let me know if I need to change anything else.

 

[Lekiel]

CkSmalling I think you missed this two bits from my earlier request. Then again, I edited it in sometime later:

"Also, my bad for not mentioning this earlier.
Can you add to your cloaking, a line something about temporarily losing the cloak when firing weapons or moving at full throttle? "

"Looks good! Just awaiting your sample post aaaand... How does the adhesion work? That's some super strong glue!! I'd go for either the good ole' jumpjets or something like an "All terrain stabilizer", a system comprised of jumpboosters to get the zeus to a vantage point, and ground clamps to dig into the terrain. Guaranteed to hang off the sides of solid rock cliffs, old-world buildings not so much (beware the crumbly building walls!)."



As for the sample post, I have a habit of rereading sentences repeatedly over and over again. I usually do that when I just can't picture what the writer is talking about. I ALSO do that, when I'm giddy with excitement and can totally imagine and feel the scene. Reading yours gave me the latter!! Loved it !!! HAHAHA! Really loved it!

So yup, just change those two things. Final stuff I promise!!

 

[Lekiel]

KhazTheGiraffe

Nearly there!!! One minor one major change.

EVE Class & Height in ft: Brute, 38 ft. The class is Brawn, not Brute.


For the major change:

maximum payload of weapons & Abilities for all EVEs except Disruptors is 5. So if you choose 3 weapons, you can only have 2 abilities. 2 weapons > 3 abilities.

So you'll have to remove one I suggest either the shield or Limbetless. Since you've chosen to go with less speed and more durability (Brawn instead of Scout) Aniketos should still inherently be able to take some damage. Instead of the glass knife Scout. Definitely won't be losing an arm at the sound of a gun!

Everything else is a-Okay!

 

[CkSmalling]

CkSmalling I think you missed this two bits from my earlier request. Then again, I edited it in sometime later:

"Also, my bad for not mentioning this earlier.
Can you add to your cloaking, a line something about temporarily losing the cloak when firing weapons or moving at full throttle? "

"Looks good! Just awaiting your sample post aaaand... How does the adhesion work? That's some super strong glue!! I'd go for either the good ole' jumpjets or something like an "All terrain stabilizer", a system comprised of jumpboosters to get the zeus to a vantage point, and ground clamps to dig into the terrain. Guaranteed to hang off the sides of solid rock cliffs, old-world buildings not so much (beware the crumbly building walls!)."



As for the sample post, I have a habit of rereading sentences repeatedly over and over again. I usually do that when I just can't picture what the writer is talking about. I ALSO do that, when I'm giddy with excitement and can totally imagine and feel the scene. Reading yours gave me the latter!! Loved it !!! HAHAHA! Really loved it!

So yup, just change those two things. Final stuff I promise!!

Done and done.

 

[Lekiel]

Dr. Eurica Sterne looks at her clipboard and then back up at the tall, muscular man before her. She offers her hand out to shake his.

"Subject 025, codename ZEUS... Welcome to Sector 11 EdenKnight! If you would please follow me, there is much to discuss." The brunette clasps the clipboard to herself as she smiles in greeting. She turns to lead the way, but turns momentarily to look back at him over her shoulder. Long enough to mouth some words at him. Though barely a whisper, her lips could clearly be read.

"Good to see you again, Robert."

 

[CkSmalling]

A smile formed on Robert's face. His application to be a knight has been approved finally. They did that that the application procedure would be detailed and the waiting list long, but through sheer patience, he managed. He shook the hand of Dr.Sterne a bit longer, appreciating the warmth of her hands. He really needs to get laid sooner rather than later. Maybe he can use his new title. Stupid idea Robert he managed to insult himself. Slowly, he follows Dr.Sterne.

As they walked together, he managed to see what she had mouthed towards him. He smiled and mouthed back, "Same". The good academy days. Those were the good times. He clearly remembers meeting her at the academy. He laughed out loud, and he immediately went silent while looking at his immediate environment. Where was he to begin?

 

[Soulmuse]

I'll have at least a WIP up in a bit, gotta do some stuff and eat lunch. In the mean time, a couple questions.

1. What is considered short/medium/long range respectively?

2. Figured I'd bounce my 7th sense idea off of you now. (Dont have a name yet): A boost in physical ability, including strength, reflexes, agility, and short range perception. Similar to an adrenaline rush. 10-15 seconds to a burst, can be pushed longer with proportionally worse side effects. Side effects: An initial burst will produce the same effects an adrenaline rush or a hard workout: intense exhaustion, and full body soreness that inhibits effectiveness. At longer durations, coughing up blood, internal bleeding muscle damage, and unconsciousness are known side effects. EVE equivalent would be similar, overclocking internal systems for a temporary boost in effectiveness.

 

[Lekiel]

on no.2 Seems alright as a seventh sense for the human. When boosting an EVE, it depends on the class. Atlas/Brawns will get a boost to agility, temporarily comparable to a Heavy Scout.

Scouts will get more on strength, temporarily comparable to a heavy brawn.

Boosting Artillery and Disruptors wouldnt make much sense.

no.1 Zeus is long, Narc is Medium, Baddie is short. This is of course just to give you a better idea :>

Edit: Short should be <700 and includes melee Soulmuse

 

[Alecto]

Well! I'm done with my CS for now I may or may not have procrastinated the whole day to work on it


Also! Thought this was worth the share - this site can be used as a height comparison!

 

[Lekiel]

"Subject 043, codename Aniketos," The corners of Eurica's lips twitch upward in a half-smile. Aniketos, the Greek God of Athletics. She remembered stumbling upon the huge man (he was a huge boy back then) back at the Academy. She and the other seniors of her class decided to take a break and watch the sparring practice of the newest batch of recruits. Aniketos easily dominated his classmates, unintentionally defeating the purpose of the "practice". To think he is the son of Diana Tsujinbo and Senator DeRocco, one would have assumed he would have pursued his father's line of work.

Eurica had to tilt her head slightly upwards to look at him, as she offered a handshake. "Welcome to Sector 11, EdenKnight." She offered him a friendly smile, before indicating that he should follow her.

KhazTheGiraffe

 

[Lekiel]

Well! I'm done with my CS for now I may or may not have procrastinated the whole day to work on it


Also! Thought this was worth the share - this site can be used as a height comparison!

That site looks handy!

On a side note: I was wrong! HAH! We have more Estrogen than Testosterone. Interesting...

Soulmuse , are you going for a female or male character? No obligations!

 

[Soulmuse]

Female.

 

[Lekiel]

Alecto

Almost perfect CS!

1. Love the inclusion of the timeline in her background! Well thought!

2. Class & Height of EVE: Put the class as Scout. EVEs have never been used on the field before, and they do not belong to any other military division other than Sector 11.

Side note: Most of us have barely sat in it, although we have played a part in its production.

3. Out of Curiosity, who is Anann? Seems related to the Celtic legends but can't find much about her. Wondering at the reasoning why you chose to name an AI after her. (to be clear, no changes to this part necessary)

4. Nemain burst canon: Trying to imagine how this works. Does it fire an exploding pulse of energy at a location, which then explodes and knocks back all others within the radius? I think 50 feet radius would be a more useful bet for non damaging weapon. That way it can send smaller ATACs flying and the larger ones including EVEs stumbling backwards, or toppling over.

5. Heavy thrusters. You meant 35 feet right? Not meters xD Then again, you could scale high than that by continuously jumping off the sides of buildings, but I digress.

Thats about it!

 

[CkSmalling]

That site looks handy!

On a side note: I was wrong! HAH! We have more Estrogen than Testosterone. Interesting...

Soulmuse , are you going for a female or male character? No obligations!

Is that right? Well more for me then

 

[Lekiel]

Is that right? Well more for me then

Keep your thunderbolt tucked away for Carol please. Eurica is having none of Robert's nonsense.