Becboc
houseplant hoarder
Josie Fox | 31 | Currently between jobs | Previously a relationship columnist
Was there such a thing as too slutty for a children's birthday party?
Who was she kidding, of course there was, but Josie had spent the Uber ride over to one of her best friend's house convincing herself otherwise and that her skirt definitely wasn't too short. In reality though? The defining moment of her realisation was how difficult it was to get out of the car without flashing the whole world in the process.
Josie wasn't sure what had led her to the decision of the shortest skirt known to man, mostly bare legs and knee high boots (at least with no heel) but here she was, standing outside the house, tugging at the bottom of the black, A-line mini with one hand, gift with an obnoxious red bow tied around it in the other. Well, actually... she could pretend that she wasn't sure but in truth a terrible part of her brain had considered how many repressed hot dads she was about to run into and her hand had accidentally gravitated towards the thigh showing masterpiece. If Josie could give herself credit for anything, it was that she had GREAT thighs. Shapely. Supple. Sexy--
The front door swung open before she even had a chance to admire the oversized door-knocker sat upon it and suddenly there stood Harper, one of her best friends of almost five years that she'd met at some networking event when she'd just started out on her column writing endeavour. Oh how things had changed; or rather, how they were about to.
"Oh thank GOD," the slightly older woman pulled Josie into a one armed hug. "A normal human, I have been saved."
"Woah, wow... okay." Josie's voice muffled into Harper's shoulder. "If that's what you're describing me as tonight I hate to think how low the bar is." As if it had been rehearsed, a chorus of screams sounded from somewhere inside the house right on time and Harper groaned. "Ugh, this whole thing is so fucked. Please come in, help yourself to whatever while I try to pry my overstimulated child away from whatever it is she--" Glancing back over her shoulder, Harper switched tack before Josie could so much as blink, "Oh Gregg honey, that's adult juice! Not for under-eighteens..." Then a moment later she was moving away, but not without a flash of a grin tossed back in Josie's direction.
"You look hot by the way. Nice skirt - the Stepford moms are gonna hate it."
A somewhat nervous smile was returned at that as Harper re-joined the party, leaving Josie stood in the doorway in her tiny skirt and the grey, oversized blazer that hung to about the same length. With a deep breath and a very quick consideration of whether she could do a runner before anyone noticed, once Josie realised that it was far too late for such a thing she stepped inside of the chaos and closed the door shut behind her.
The interior of the house, as expected, was utter chaos. Kids ran around every corner, toys were scattered across the floor of various rooms. The walls and ceilings were bedecked in happy birthday banners and balloons, and the kitchen was an array of brightly coloured cakes and sweet treats. Adults stood chatting as if nothing was happening around them and Josie, for not the first time that night, wondered what in the hell she was doing here. She had no child, no true attachment to this kind of situation other than being Hallie's godparent of course, and she looked very much like she had wandered into the wrong kind of party. Mothers and fathers alike eyed her for different reasons but ever the trooper, Josie plastered a smile on her face and breezed towards the kitchen, nodding very polite hellos to people she was sure were questioning her morals at the same time as offering their greetings.
This. This was why she had been invited, she realised. Because despite the pressure to be gods damned Mother Theresa now she was an actual mother, Harper would always be, at her core, one of Josie. Or at least in part, one of Josie. A little fucked up, a little cynical - even though her life was much more put together than Josie could ever hope her own to be. Josie's sole purpose right now was to support her friend and perhaps act as a comparison that made Harper look like an angel. She was okay with that though - surprisingly okay, actually. She could take one for the team; god knows, Harper had taken one for her more times than she could probably count.
When she finally made it to the kitchen, Josie placed her gift down onto a barely free counter and set about fixing herself a glass of white wine. She was about halfway through her first much needed sip when Hallie, in all of her six year old energy came bumbling over, face red, eyes wild; clearly over-sugared in some capacity.
"Auntie Josie!"
"Hey Hal, looking very cute today. Do you think you could find one of those in my size?" The kid beamed as Josie pretended to once over her sparkling pink tutu.
"Did you bring me a present?" Fair play to her, Josie wished she could ask the same at her birthday parties straight off the bat.
"A present, why would I bring you...? I mean, it's not your birthday so..."
"Auntie Josie!" Hallie groaned; a scarily accurate impression of her mother. "It IS my birthday!"
"What... when? Now? As in, right now?"
"YES!"
"Oh shoot, then I think I um... I err... where is it...?" Josie made a show of looking around herself for the huge box that sat on the counter next to her, much to Hallie's delight.
"It's right there!"
"OH! So it is!" Josie pressed a hand to her forehead in feigned mockery of herself. "I wondered where I'd put that thing." Then hauling it from the counter, she pressed it into the little hands that awaited, outstretched. "Happy birthday, Hal."
There was no time for thank yous before Hallie tore into the gift, revealing in all its glory a rather fancy looking mocktail kit. A squeal of delight was what left her and then, "Mommy! Mommy, look what Auntie Josie got me! It's a fancy drinks thing, I can make happy drinks like you and your friends!" Hallie bounced off with the large box in her arms while some of the other mothers looked in Josie's direction, clearly unimpressed with the potential encouragement of alcohol drinking in a six year old. Hmm... maybe not her finest decision, now she was actually thinking about it.
"Pfft it's a mocktail kit," Josie said to nobody in particular, waving her hand and wrinkling her nose. "Alcohol free. It's basically a juice mixer..." Her voice trailed off at that part and before she could say anything more that might further incriminate her, she took a rather large mouthful of wine. Then another. And then a third. Only after her glass was nearly empty did she sigh and bend to begin scooping up the discarded wrapping paper, all the while trying not to question her life decisions. There had been plenty of time for that prior to this birthday party, as Josie was sure there would be plenty of time for it post-party too.
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