Create a rumor.

Rumor has it that E v a n e s c e n t E v a n e s c e n t is actually the legendary daughter of Sparda, an ancient demon god who killed over 999 people during his reign in the netherworld. For you see, the legend says that Sparda killed Satan, but Satan didn't die and wanted revenge, so he kicked Sparda out of the netherworld. Afterward, Sparda fathered two Nephilim children, one of which was Gilgamesh, and the other was Jantofer. The two siblings were always at each other's throats, and they often traveled to Gehenna, the realm of the undead demons of the seventh gate, in order to train their willpower and a magical martial arts skill known as Hamon.

Eventually, both siblings became heroes in their village and destroyed the evil dragon; Beelzeboss who was, in fact, the leader of the Kabal of the Sacred Heart of Sanguinius the Martyred Angel. Sanguinius was Sparda's brother and an angelic seraphim lord paladin healer priest, who died for our sins at the hands of Horus Lupercal. Horus was their cousin, who was also an ancient demonic lord who served under Dio Brando, a vampiric master who stopped time. One day, Sparda and Sanguinius traveled to kill Dio, but Horus stood in their way. He corrupted Sparda and killed Sanguinius, but after Sparda served Satan for a year, he got bored, and that's why he killed him. That's their backstory.

And now, back to the siblings. So Gilgamesh met Enkidu, and the two became friends, but Jantofer didn't have friends, so she became friends with Gizaira Gizaira who was also her mentor and the ruler of the cartoon kingdom. The two of them traveled through Ancient Greece and stumbled upon the Ancient Ultra Golden Hamster Man, who attacked them with his volley cannon that shot volleyballs at the speed of 500km/h
608634bb2619429cb55ca24554854a7a.png

So after they defeated the Hamster Boss, they met Gilgamesh and Enkidu, who were laughing in their face as they slain a monster of far greater power; the mighty humbaba. The said act of slaying is presented to you on the ancient mural below. What's important here is that whilst they killed humbaba, an ancient force was watching them; the goddess of sex and war; Ishtar, and her friend.... Plot-twist... Ready? IT WAS FUCKING HORUS! He was watching from the shadows, and then he used the discipline of mind-control on Ishtar and made her fall in love with Gilgamesh, so she killed Enkidu by turning him into mud, and then, she tried to get Gilgamesh's affections, but he was too self-absorbed with grief and anger at his friend's death to respond to her affections, so instead she cast a summoning spell and summoned the Bull of Heaven who trampled Gilgamesh's flowers, as he yelled in despair.








04f8e7df5a934ed583eacc219b51b12f.jpg

Fortunately, Hanarei Hanarei was there to help, because of plot-twist after plot-twist: Hanarei was also in love with Gilgamesh. Or rather, she was a huge fangirl. And so, the fight began. It was truly bloody. Ishtar and Hanarei and the Bull of Heaven were all extreme fangirls, but eventually, Hanarei used Birdsie Birdsie as her own, personal Pokemon and resolved the fight, then locked the poor spirit back in his pokeball for all of eternity. Birdsie tried to struggle, but couldn't escape. What she didn't know was that whilst he was out, he called out for the help from the Ancient Manta Rays Of Space And Time that dwelt in the Nineteenth Realm of the Shadowlands, an alternate dimension where Satan won the War In Heaven.

Eventually, Dio Brando discovered that Satan was killed by Sparda, so he sent in Horus Lupercal to kill Sparda as revenge, but... SPARDA WAS GONE!!! But then Horus turned around and got hit by a baseball bat held by Sparda, who set up a giant trap. He was ready for this all along. All Horus heard before passing out was:
​

Eventually, Jantofer and Gizaira arrived in the ancient kingdom of Mesopotamia ruled by Gilgamesh, who had now married Hanarei. Unfortunately, Hanarei was so jealous that other women were around her husband that she attacked them. She unleashed Birdsie on the two, hoping he would peck them, but the bird had instead summoned Ancient Manta Rays of Space and Time and freed himself from her control, all thanks to lord Chin Chin who was blessed enough to send them in from his realm called the Rice Fields.

Birdsie rebelled against Mesopotamia and joined Jantofer and Gizaira, starting the Great War of The Sabbat, that lasted seven days and seven nights of constant forum spam. Eventually, Gilgamesh couldn't bear the stress and shot himself in the head with a 9mm handgun after drinking a whole bottle of russian vodka. It was a sad day for Hanarei, but she started fangirling over Damian Vi Lasombra instead.

Unfortunately, no one knew what Sparda was doing, and he was interrogating Horus by tickling his feet with the Feather taken from Birdsie's eloquent collection. Horus spilled the beans and made a huge mess, literally. Sparda got so mad he bitchslapped him, so Horus spilled the beans and told him where Dio was. Sparda, hearing the news, teleported himself to Mesopotamia and contacted Jantofer, Gizaira, Hanarei, Birdsie, Chin Chin, and Filthy Frank, and they all made the team that came to be known as the Fellowship of Omega-Kindness. Hanarei was clinging to Birdsie constantly, like a fangirl, and Gizaira was acting tsundere all the time, but eventually, the group arrived in Caire, Egypt, where Dio was sleeping atop the Pyramid of Khafre.

He stopped time using his stand; The World, and escaped, killing Filthy Frank on his way out. Don't worry. He was a bad character anyway, so the group took in Bill Cipher, since he was a better Heroic Spirit of Caster Class. Then, the group arrived in Tokyo, Japan, and fought Dio again, this time with greater success, as Jantofer unlocked a [STAND] of her own (stats below) called Captain Gabriel Captain Gabriel .
426f38f0144a4f119fa751f2e24ccd19.png

Gabriel was the brother of Killer Queen, so he could naturally make bombs, but he also had experience in stopping time and traveling through space, which made him a valuable asset to the team. Sparda, knowing that Dio was dead, retired and later got in a bar fight that caused him to go to prison. Unfortunately, the rest of the team still had adventures to take upon, such as finding out what happened to Chin Chin who mysteriously disappeared two days after Dio's defeat. They took the track all the way to Moscow, only to discover the terrible truth that all of the World's ice cream was suddenly gone. Taking the quest from a local NPC called Tovarisch, they set out through Poland, Germany, and France, all the way to Camelot, UK, where they met Gaben, the Lord of Steamy Steam Steam-Stuff Gas (pictured below)

1505aeb1fc8846ebb1cce58b7dbe7aed.jpg

Gaben wasn't going to let them just let him have the ice cream, and revealed that he was the one who killed Chin Chin. Gabriel got real mad, but before he could fight, Gaben summoned Kars, Esidisi, and Wammu.
266b371c06e44723b6c8976e9586489a.png


They all fought and, eventually, Jantofer, Gizaira, Hanarei, Birdsie, Gabriel, etc, won and fred Chin Chin from the underworld, who gave them 50,000 Chromosomes as a quest reward.

THE END.
Yes, I'm so bored I had to write a crack fanfiction again. I'm sowwy.
 
Birdsie said:
Rumor has it that E v a n e s c e n t E v a n e s c e n t is actually the legendary daughter of Sparda, an ancient demon god who killed over 999 people during his reign in the netherworld. For you see, the legend says that Sparda killed Satan, but Satan didn't die and wanted revenge, so he kicked Sparda out of the netherworld. Afterward, Sparda fathered two Nephilim children, one of which was Gilgamesh, and the other was Jantofer. The two siblings were always at each other's throats, and they often traveled to Gehenna, the realm of the undead demons of the seventh gate, in order to train their willpower and a magical martial arts skill known as Hamon.

Eventually, both siblings became heroes in their village and destroyed the evil dragon; Beelzeboss who was, in fact, the leader of the Kabal of the Sacred Heart of Sanguinius the Martyred Angel. Sanguinius was Sparda's brother and an angelic seraphim lord paladin healer priest, who died for our sins at the hands of Horus Lupercal. Horus was their cousin, who was also an ancient demonic lord who served under Dio Brando, a vampiric master who stopped time. One day, Sparda and Sanguinius traveled to kill Dio, but Horus stood in their way. He corrupted Sparda and killed Sanguinius, but after Sparda served Satan for a year, he got bored, and that's why he killed him. That's their backstory.

And now, back to the siblings. So Gilgamesh met Enkidu, and the two became friends, but Jantofer didn't have friends, so she became friends with Gizaira Gizaira who was also her mentor and the ruler of the cartoon kingdom. The two of them traveled through Ancient Greece and stumbled upon the Ancient Ultra Golden Hamster Man, who attacked them with his volley cannon that shot volleyballs at the speed of 500km/h
608634bb2619429cb55ca24554854a7a.png

So after they defeated the Hamster Boss, they met Gilgamesh and Enkidu, who were laughing in their face as they slain a monster of far greater power; the mighty humbaba. The said act of slaying is presented to you on the ancient mural below. What's important here is that whilst they killed humbaba, an ancient force was watching them; the goddess of sex and war; Ishtar, and her friend.... Plot-twist... Ready? IT WAS FUCKING HORUS! He was watching from the shadows, and then he used the discipline of mind-control on Ishtar and made her fall in love with Gilgamesh, so she killed Enkidu by turning him into mud, and then, she tried to get Gilgamesh's affections, but he was too self-absorbed with grief and anger at his friend's death to respond to her affections, so instead she cast a summoning spell and summoned the Bull of Heaven who trampled Gilgamesh's flowers, as he yelled in despair.








04f8e7df5a934ed583eacc219b51b12f.jpg

Fortunately, Hanarei Hanarei was there to help, because of plot-twist after plot-twist: Hanarei was also in love with Gilgamesh. Or rather, she was a huge fangirl. And so, the fight began. It was truly bloody. Ishtar and Hanarei and the Bull of Heaven were all extreme fangirls, but eventually, Hanarei used Birdsie Birdsie as her own, personal Pokemon and resolved the fight, then locked the poor spirit back in his pokeball for all of eternity. Birdsie tried to struggle, but couldn't escape. What she didn't know was that whilst he was out, he called out for the help from the Ancient Manta Rays Of Space And Time that dwelt in the Nineteenth Realm of the Shadowlands, an alternate dimension where Satan won the War In Heaven.

Eventually, Dio Brando discovered that Satan was killed by Sparda, so he sent in Horus Lupercal to kill Sparda as revenge, but... SPARDA WAS GONE!!! But then Horus turned around and got hit by a baseball bat held by Sparda, who set up a giant trap. He was ready for this all along. All Horus heard before passing out was:
​

Eventually, Jantofer and Gizaira arrived in the ancient kingdom of Mesopotamia ruled by Gilgamesh, who had now married Hanarei. Unfortunately, Hanarei was so jealous that other women were around her husband that she attacked them. She unleashed Birdsie on the two, hoping he would peck them, but the bird had instead summoned Ancient Manta Rays of Space and Time and freed himself from her control, all thanks to lord Chin Chin who was blessed enough to send them in from his realm called the Rice Fields.

Birdsie rebelled against Mesopotamia and joined Jantofer and Gizaira, starting the Great War of The Sabbat, that lasted seven days and seven nights of constant forum spam. Eventually, Gilgamesh couldn't bear the stress and shot himself in the head with a 9mm handgun after drinking a whole bottle of russian vodka. It was a sad day for Hanarei, but she started fangirling over Damian Vi Lasombra instead.

Unfortunately, no one knew what Sparda was doing, and he was interrogating Horus by tickling his feet with the Feather taken from Birdsie's eloquent collection. Horus spilled the beans and made a huge mess, literally. Sparda got so mad he bitchslapped him, so Horus spilled the beans and told him where Dio was. Sparda, hearing the news, teleported himself to Mesopotamia and contacted Jantofer, Gizaira, Hanarei, Birdsie, Chin Chin, and Filthy Frank, and they all made the team that came to be known as the Fellowship of Omega-Kindness. Hanarei was clinging to Birdsie constantly, like a fangirl, and Gizaira was acting tsundere all the time, but eventually, the group arrived in Caire, Egypt, where Dio was sleeping atop the Pyramid of Khafre.

He stopped time using his stand; The World, and escaped, killing Filthy Frank on his way out. Don't worry. He was a bad character anyway, so the group took in Bill Cipher, since he was a better Heroic Spirit of Caster Class. Then, the group arrived in Tokyo, Japan, and fought Dio again, this time with greater success, as Jantofer unlocked a [STAND] of her own (stats below) called Captain Gabriel Captain Gabriel .
426f38f0144a4f119fa751f2e24ccd19.png

Gabriel was the brother of Killer Queen, so he could naturally make bombs, but he also had experience in stopping time and traveling through space, which made him a valuable asset to the team. Sparda, knowing that Dio was dead, retired and later got in a bar fight that caused him to go to prison. Unfortunately, the rest of the team still had adventures to take upon, such as finding out what happened to Chin Chin who mysteriously disappeared two days after Dio's defeat. They took the track all the way to Moscow, only to discover the terrible truth that all of the World's ice cream was suddenly gone. Taking the quest from a local NPC called Tovarisch, they set out through Poland, Germany, and France, all the way to Camelot, UK, where they met Gaben, the Lord of Steamy Steam Steam-Stuff Gas (pictured below)

1505aeb1fc8846ebb1cce58b7dbe7aed.jpg

Gaben wasn't going to let them just let him have the ice cream, and revealed that he was the one who killed Chin Chin. Gabriel got real mad, but before he could fight, Gaben summoned Kars, Esidisi, and Wammu.
266b371c06e44723b6c8976e9586489a.png


They all fought and, eventually, Jantofer, Gizaira, Hanarei, Birdsie, Gabriel, etc, won and fred Chin Chin from the underworld, who gave them 50,000 Chromosomes as a quest reward.

THE END.
Yes, I'm so bored I had to write a crack fanfiction again. I'm sowwy.
Click to expand...

bro
bro
bro
this is legit perfect xD
 
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