Coming Home

[redletalis]

Trees whizzed past the window as the bus made its way along the roads and towards home. Home being an odd concept after more than ten years away. Years that had changed so much for him. He had been young and stupid back then, incredibly stupid. The kind of stupid that thought it was cool to steal from the store and get drunk and get sent to jail. And in a small town like Sorrow’s End, getting such a reputation labelled you as the next Charles Manson and you were sent out of town and away to "learn manners".


Well, Steven had learned and learned more than he had ever wanted to.


The bus stop for Sorrow’s End wasn’t even in the town, it was some kilometres away, at the intersection where the main road and the road to town parted. The driver looked at him like he was insane and suicidal when he got off there. Steven paid it no mind. He hitched the dufflebag higher up on his shoulder - all of his worldly belongings in one bag, it was kind of sad - and hobbled off down along the road and towards town. The bus into town passed perhaps once a day if you were lucky, and he wasn’t about to sit out here hoping for the best when it might not happen. It was cold and wet, a mild fog in the air and the clouds looked threatening.


He had walked for longer and through more dangerous terrain.


The cane took most of his weight. It made a soft sound that echoed through the stillness of the road. Even the sounds from the main highway back there were muffled, and Steven swallowed and tightened his grip on the cane. The stillness in the air made him feel uncomfortable. His eyes flickered from one side to the other. This was a perfect place for an ambush with thick forest on each side and if the enemy came then he would be in total view, he had no weapons to defend himself with and...


Steven forced himself to stop up and take a deep breath. His heart was racing and his palms were sweaty, and he felt cold. He used those sensations to ground himself. There was nothing here to attack him apart from perhaps a bear or ten - and bears weren’t scary. Bears were cute and rather cuddly. Yes, there was nothing to get worked up about around here. That was why he had returned after all.


But what if....?


“Fuck.” He grumbled. His leg muscles started paining him after the long drive in the bus and now this cold weather and the constant tensing and relaxing, but Steven marched, well, hobbled really, on doggedly - and annoyingly slowly. He focused on the pain in his leg to keep from experiencing another mental breakdown, but it was difficult.


Fuck. Just fuck.

 

[Lirael]

Grace Connors had been living in Sorrows End for about four years now; she obviously wasn't from around here, but she'd been running from a bad life, and this was as far as she could go to escape. Her past didn't really follow her here, but there were remains that still lingered. She had just come back from one of the larger towns nearby for a few things she couldn't get in town, and the road was darker than she was used to. The fog was thick, and the chill in the air was an omen to the winter that was coming in fast. The radio started to buzz out as they got further down the road, and she paused before she switched it off.


It was that act that changed her life. As she looked up, she jerked, gasping as she veered around a strange man walking practically in the middle of the road. She screeched her old truck to a stop, her heart hammering. It was her own fault; she should have been paying attention. She couldn't be mad at him... But she definitely needed to see if he was okay. "Mommy?" came the little voice behind her. She glanced back at the car seat in the small backseat of the truck, and she smiled to reassure her daughter. "It's okay, baby," she said hoarsely. "You just stay right there. I'll be right back....." She opened the driver side door, approaching the man. "I'm so sorry," she said quickly. "Are you alright?"


She didn't recognize him; was he lost? Moving to town? It took her a few moments to realize that he was walking with a cane, and she hesitated, her gaze going to the bag over his shoulder. "I, um.. i'm really sorry. I glanced down for just a second.." She was rambling, but to be honest, the sight of him unnerved her. She recognized that bag; it was military issue. And that really hit close to home. Swallowing hard, she shifted on her feet, watching him. "Are you.. are you moving to Sorrows End?"

 

[redletalis]

Steven had just managed to force his body to calm down when the vehicle nearly ran over him and he had to hobble quickly out of the way. The truck stopped, doors opened and someone spoke to him, and his entire body tensed up again. His leg nearly gave out in a flash of pain, but he grit his teeth stubbornly and controlled himself. Hands tightening their holds on dufflebag strap and cane, he took a deep breath and forced himself to turn around slowly. Face the fear head on and all that shit that his psychiatrist had said.


It was a woman. She was unfamiliar, probably new to the town, at least new enough to have come after he had left. Her truck was beat up, probably on its last legs and she seemed a bit tired, even frazzled. She wasn’t an enemy, she wasn’t a spy, she wasn’t here to kill him. It was normal for people to ask if he was new.


It was sad that he had to consciously remind himself of that.


"Ah, no. Returning after a long while away." Steven hesitated for a few moments. Normal interaction was supposed to be good for him. Right. He had to say something. "And don't worry about it. No harm, no foul."


Well. It was better than nothing. Hell, sounded almost normal, too.

 

[Lirael]

Grace watched him for a moment, noting his tensed shoulders, the way he tried to keep his voice even despite it being a bit forced. It was obvious that he was trying and trying hard. She shifted her weight, bouncing a bit to keep warm before she looked back at the truck.


Don't do it, Grace. Don't do it...


Giving herself a mental kick, she closed her eyes, letting go of the breath she hadn't realized she was holding. "Look, um.. It's.. still a ways back into town, and it's cold. Let me give you a ride? My heater doesn't work well, but.. at least you'll get there faster than just walking."


Okay, that was a bit of a lie. Her heater wasn't working at all, which was why her daughter was wrapped in blankets as well as her coat... But Grace wasn't here to look for hand outs. She was here to start her life over. Pushing her hair out of her eyes as the wind caught it, she looked back at him, smiling a bit. "It's the least I can do for nearly running you over."


Without waiting for his reply, she started back. At only 5'2, she had to almost jump to get into the driver's seat since the truck didn't have running boards. She got settled in, and she fastened her seat belt. There wasn't really a risk of being in an accident with another vehicle, but just last week, Joseph Fast Elk had hit a moose that had run across the road and been killed. She wasn't going to risk driving without a seat belt just in case that moose had a friend out there.


Mia blinked her large blue eyes back at her mother from where she sat all bundled up. "Are we going home now, Mommy?" she asked.


"In a minute, baby. We're waiting for this man to get in so we can give him a ride to his house," Grace answered.

 

[redletalis]

Steven looked at her and her jeep, then down the road towards town and finally down at his leg, and gave in. She was right, the damn leg would never last into town in weather like this. Not yet strong enough. And if the woman really was an enemy spy, Steven was more or less confident that he could take her down with upper body strength alone. As long as there was no fancy footwork needed or involved.


He hobbled over to the truck and around it to get to the front door passenger side. Then he stopped and looked at the height of the door and the lack of steps up. This would be a bit of a problem, but not a huge one. He opened the door, put his cane to the side where it wouldn't fall out and blinked at the sight of the little girl in the backseat. He managed a small nod to the child before he placed the dufflebag on the floor before grabbing a good hold and pushing off with his good leg, hoisting and dragging himself up into the seat.


“Thank you.” He said once he was inside and had positioned his aching leg as best he coul, dufflebag now in his lap. The seat belt remained unused and untouched. Far too constraining.


Women with kids were unafraid when stopping to give him a lift. It was official, he was a damn useless cripple.

 

[Lirael]

Mia watched the stranger with the innocent curiosity that only small children seemed to possess. Quite fearless, she gave him a happy smile. "Hi," she said cheerfully. "What's your name?"


Grace shook her head. "Baby, I don't know if he feels up to talking, okay?" she admitted as she worked to start the truck. The starter clicked, the engine stayed quiet, and her face flushed. Shooting an apologetic smile at the man, she swallowed hard, twisting the key again. It took about three tries before the engine finally turned over and the truck roared to life. Grace exhaled shakily in relief before tugging the transmission into drive and starting onto the road again.


The silence lasted for about 30 seconds before the girl piped up again. "My name is Mia," she said over the noise of the truck. "Mommy's name is Mommy. You don't have to say yours if you don't want to. I'm good at making up names. You can be Aladdin."


Grace had to do her best not to smile. "Mia, I don't think he wants to be Aladdin."


"How come?"


"Well, I'm sure he has his own name."


"But I like Aladdin."


Grace exhaled slowly. "Honey, you can't just change people's names. It's not nice."


Mia thought about that for a moment, leaning back against her seat again. "Are you going to live with us?"


"Alright, Amelia, that's enough," Grace said quickly. "You're making him nervous."


She glanced back at the strange soldier, flushing again. "I'm.. Sorry about that. Four year olds have a lot of questions." To be honest, she was hoping to get this drive over quickly. She should have been spart enough NOT to give him a ride; the news was covered with horror stories about what happened to people that picked up hitch hikers, and even if he did have a bum leg, it didn't mean he didn't have a gun or a knife or something. She was putting her life and her daughter's life in danger, just to be nice. God, she was stupid...

 

[redletalis]

The child... the child actually helped. She was an innocent and bright, clean breath of fresh air right now, and Steven managed a small but honest smile. He hadn't expected a child to help. He hadn't really liked them when he had left, found them loud and annoying and stupid, but right now Mia was... okay. Good. As long as she didn't try to jump him or smother him with hugs and kisses. Steven could only handle slow right now.


"It's fine," he said to the mother before turning just a little bit more in order to see the little girl. "My name is Steven, although I think I can be Aladdin too if you want me to. I'll try at least, I'm not that handsome though. What are you doing up and out so late?"


He even remembered the Disney movie. One of his favourites when he had been a brat.


Talking with a child was better than the awkward silence, but he kept his eyes on the mother too. Flickering from her, to the outside road, to the girl and back to the mother. He couldn't help that, couldn't control it. The psychiatrist said that he would be able to, but not right now and not to get discouraged if it took some time.

 

[Lirael]

Mia instantly brightened as the man started to talk to her. "Mommy had to go to the store," she said lightly. "And I'm too little for school so I don't have to go to bed early." Grace arched her eyebrow, but stayed silent. Mia certainly did have a bed time, but what she also had was a nasty chest cold, which had meant running into the nearest larger town for a twenty-four hour store to get medicine for it. Mia continued, shifting a bit in her booster seat. "I think you're really handsome," she said quickly. "And you shouldn't say things like that. You gotta like yourself."


Grace smiled a bit at the lesson she was trying to instill in her daughter daily. Inhaling slowly, she turned, taking the road that would continue their way through to town.


Mia brightened even more, and she grinned. "Can you come over and watch it with me?!" she exclaimed, suddenly excited. "I have it at home! It's my favorite! You can watch it with me, and then we could play. You could be Aladdin, I'll be Jasmine and we can go on a magic carpet ride! We can go look all over the---" The girl broke off as a sudden coughing fit took over. It was a horrible sound, so deep it sounded like it was coming from her voice toes.


Grace blinked, looking back quickly, that helpless feeling washing over her. "Mia?"


After a few moments, it passed, and Mia leaned back again, trying to catch her breath, blinking back tears. "Owie."


Grace winced. "I know, baby girl. I know. We'll get home and get you some medicine soon. Okay?"

 

[redletalis]

The sharp coughing made Steven twitch and tighten his grip on his dufflebag. His mind went back to a field hospital and to the men in it and... he pushed those thoughts away and consciously controlled his breathing. One, two, three and breathe out. One, two, three and breathe in. It only took a couple of times before he felt calmer and didn't feel overwhelmed. It helped that Mia had stopped coughing, too.


"That sounded bad." He said, keeping his voice quiet and controlled. "Is it pneumonia?"


Explained why they were out this late. Sorrow's End didn't have a single store that was open twenty-four hours as far as he remembered. Nor did they have much in the way of anything else, really. A small inn, a general store, chemist, and a tiny bookshop-slash-clothing store. He wondered if any of that had changed in the years he had been gone. Probably not. Not if the town still had that annoying small-town mentality.

 

[Lirael]

Grace swallowed hard, looking in the rearview mirror at her daughter. "I don't know," she said quietly. "The doctor can't get her in for an appointment until next week..." She thought it was pneumonia and that's what scared her. This far out away from larger towns meant it was harder to get medical treatment. The nearest hospital was a good two hour chopper ride from Sorrows End. If it was pneumonia, this far out, it was very likely that it could kill her little girl. She couldn't handle that... Mia was everything to her. She was all that Grace was living for..


A single tear fell down her cheek, and she quickly brushed it away before she cleared her throat again. Mia was silent in the back seat, worn out from the fit, and she had fallen asleep completely now. After a few moments of silence, she glanced over at him again. "I'm sorry. I, um... I saw how her coughing upset you.." She faltered again, stealing glances at im for every couple of seconds. "What branch did you serve?"


She couldn't just ignore the fact that he was military. His duffle bag, the cane, the visible dog tags that had fallen out of his shirt, even how tense he was. It screamed PTSD, and the Lord only knew how much she could relate to that....

 

[redletalis]

"Not your fault, don't worry about it." It wasn't like she could order her child to stop coughing or not do it at all. At least Sorrow's End had their own airfield small though it was. Or, well, they had one when Steven had left. It was far more used than the bus stop that was for certain. And having one single doctor on an area the size of your average US county wasn't easy. He wondered if old grouchy Dr. Murdock was still around.


Steven blinked and turned to look at her. She had asked something else. Ah, right, branch.


"Army, 1st Infantry Division." He replied. He had been far more than a simply infrantry soldier, but she didn't need to know that. That really would make her throw him out probably without slowing down. Divert. He had to divert her questions. Somehow. "Uhm, excuse me for asking, but have you tried giving her, your daugther that is, have you tried giving her ginger root tea? It's good for coughs."

 

[Lirael]

Grace smiled slightly at that. So she had been right; he was military. "Well, welcome home, soldier," she murmured quietly. He seemed to change the subject rather quickly, though, so she wasn't going to push the issue. She certainly wasn't about to bring up her own connections to the military. She didn't know him well enough for that, and even still, she wasn't the kind of person to drag out her heavy baggage and flaunt it for the world to see. So she didn't have it easy. Big deal. Most of the world didn't have it easy.


At his question, she blinked, glancing at him again. "I don't think I've ever heard of that," she admitted. "I can try to get some when things open in the morning. Thanks for the suggestion." Actually, there was probably a lot of home remedies that she didn't know about. She really should see about learning them. Any little bit helps, and she's not originally from around Sorrows End, which meant the locals weren't exactly welcoming to her either most days. She was an outsider.


She bit her lip, looking back at him again as they finally rumbled into town. "So, um.. Where are you staying? Which direction do I need to go?"

 

[redletalis]

He wasn't certain what to say to the welcome-home bit so he didn't say anything even if it felt nice and managed a small nod instead. It would be something to hang on to in the coming days, weeks, months when the town realised that he was back and let out all their old bitterness once more. He knew small-town mentality. There was no way that everyone had simply let bygones be bygones, especially his bygones. And this woman and her child would be dragged into it one way or another.


"Add a little honey and lemon if it's too strong for her." Steven said. "It helps the immune system." He added needlessly after a while in silence only to stare at her. "Oh, you don't have to. I'll just get a room at the hotel."


He had no home to get to. The house that he had shared with his old bitch of an aunt was long gone, the lawyers had seen fit to keep him updated on that and their loss of revinue after his aunt had finally kicked the bucket some six years ago. Until he figured what to do - rebuild or simply rent something new - he would stay at the hotel. If it existed. If not then he was used to roughing it. At least military training was good for something.

 

[Lirael]

Grace was surprised by that, and she looked back at him, silent for a few moments before she swallowed hard. "You really haven't been here for awhile," she admitted truthfully as she glanced over at him. "The hotel went out of business before I even came here..." She trailed off, thinking to herself. "Look, why don't you come stay with us? At least for tonight. It's too cold to sleep outside, it's too late to see about renting a place somewhere.. I don't have a lot, but my couch does have a pull out bed."


She didn't even wait for his reaction as she turned down the street towards her small house. It was a one bedroom, one bathroom. Almost the size of the one room school house that had been built when the town was first founded. It was plenty for her and Mia for now, and frankly, all that she could afford. But at least the heat there worked. Stopping in front of the house, she turned the engine off, pausing long enough to rub her fingers together to get some warmth moving. "Have you eaten?" she asked. "I've got some leftover soup in the fridge I can warm up for you."


She got out of the truck, pushing the seat up so that she could get Mia out of her seat, slipping the bag onto her wrist. With Mia cradled against her hip, she headed for the front door, somehow managing to get her keys out. Despite it being a small town, there were still some trouble-making kids; she wasn't about to leave anything unlocked here.

 

[redletalis]

"What?! No- I- wait!"


But it was far too late and he was suddenly staring at a tiny house. It only had the ground floor... and that was about it. It was beyond small. Hell, Steven felt that some of the tents that he had shared with six other men had been bigger than this. And she was letting him stay? A lone woman with her precous child letting a PTSD ex-soldier stay? That just didn't compute at all! It was simply impossible.


Steven opened the door and threw the dufflebag out before he positioned himself, ready for the step down. Except he didn't so much as step down as drop down and his bad leg refused to work. With a curse he fell over completely, hissing as he landed on a branch or a rock that dug into the bad leg and right into the wound itself. His cane lay just out of his reach when he looked around and the way his leg was aching meant that he was staying on the ground a while yet.


Gritting his teeth Steven shifted around until he was at least sitting up like a human being.


Fuck. Invalided and useless. Just fuck.

 

[Lirael]

Grace glanced back as she heard him fall, and she blinked, her eyes widening. Setting her sleeping daughter into the chair by the door, she rushed back outside, clearly concerned. "Are you alright?" she exclaimed. She at least had the sense to stop running when she got a little closer. She didn't want to scare him or set off any more stress than necessary. Swallowing hard, she grabbed his cane, holding it out to him. "Here," she said softly. "Let me help you up. Please?"


He was going to refuse it. She knew that, but she was still going to try. It made her heart ache to see him so angry at himself for being injured. She managed to grab his duffle bag next and she swung it onto her shoulder before she reached out her hand to him next. "Come on, Steven. I promise I don't bite." She smiled at him gently. "It's not that far of a walk and once we're inside, I'll make up the pull out for you and warm up that soup."


((Sorry for the shorter post))

 

[redletalis]

Hurried footsteps made him tense up, but when he looked up it was only her. The woman. She who hadn't even introduced herself and was now trying to help him get up. It left a sour taste in his mouth. He wasn't that weak, he could get up on his own. His leg just needed to get with the program and recieve the orders to carry him once he got to his feet. Which was laboriously and slowly and with ample help from the truck. Steven pushed himself to his feet and stayed close to the truck as he made sure that he wouldn't fall over again like an idiot.


His leg was screaming in pain.


"Thank you for your offer," he said because he may not be in the best of moods or mindsets, but he could still give credit where it was honestly due. "However, I don't want to inconvenience you and your daughter." Which he would because he had PTSD and nightmares and the house was not big enough to add him into the mix as well. Though my no means a bodybuilder, Steven still wasn't a small man. "I'll be fine, it isn't that cold. My old home is still livable."


With no power or water or windows and even half a roof if the lawyers were to be believed, but he could easily deal with that.

 

[Lirael]

Grace flushed, hesitating as she let her hand drop again. Well, what could she have honestly expected? He'd probably have been through a lot... She couldn't think that he would have just opened up to a complete stranger. "Look, um... You wouldn't be an inconvenience. Really. It'd be nice to have the company, and.. well.." She trailed off, inhaling slowly. "My place is a lot closer than yours, I think. And you've been traveling all day. Just at least come inside and let me get you some coffee to help warm you up? Please?"


By now, Mia had woken up, and she was standing on the porch, rubbing at her eye sleepily. "Is he coming to watch Aladdin?" she asked tiredly.


Grace smiled a bit, inhaling slowly. "See? We both want you to come in. Just til you get warmed up. I promise. You can leave whenever you're ready."


Still holding his dufflebag, hoping that it would be enough to convince him to come inside, she led the way back in. "Mia, come on," she said, nudging her daughter back inside again. She set the dufflebag on the floor near the couch before putting the movie in for her daughter. Once Mia was in front of the TV, Grace walked into the tiny kitchen to start the coffeemaker. She did pull out the leftover soup as well, putting it into the microwave. While the kitchen was just as small as the rest of the place, she had really tried hard to make as much use of the space she did have. Everything was in its place, she never left anything out for long.


As she worked, Grace found herself humming softly under her breath, and after a few moments, she felt Mia hug her leg. The little girl really didn't feel good at all, and Grace could tell. "Oh, baby girl," she murmured before picking the toddler up and rubbing her back. "Come on, let's go back and watch the movie, okay?" She led her back to the living room, holding her on one hip before she looked back out. "Are you going to come in?" she asked Steven.

 

[redletalis]

He debated on simply letting go of the dufflebag and what it contained. It wasn't much really, he could easily get everything without denting his meagre army pension too much, but really? Was he really going to... to run away from a mother and her child? Really? Had he actually sunk that low? Or was it his pride that made him stupid? Not that he had much pride left, but what little there he had was screaming about dishonour and pity and that this was the worst thing he could do considering his condition.


Steven sighed and ran a hand down his face. This was beyond ridiculous.


Squaring his shoulders and making judicious use of the cane he hobbled up to the house and, after a moment's hesitation in the doorway, he hobbled inside and closed the door after himself. His muscles were tense, this was a new setting, cluttered and with little room for movement if the need arose, especially for someone with a cane, but Steven firmly told himself to stop being an idiot.


"Coffee would be lovely, thank you." He said only to have his stomach gurgle loudly, practically echoing in the small house. Steven could feel his ears turn hot and red and looked away as he admitted to the weakness. "And maybe that soup if you still have it."


This was such a bad idea.

 

[Lirael]

To be honest, Grace had been convinced that he would leave. She'd hoped he wouldn't; he seemed to be in a lot of pain, and not just physical pain, and her heart went out to him. It was horrible to think that he'd given to his country, and this was the thanks he was getting, absolutely no one to meet him, just pain and cold.. It wasn't fair. She smiled, the tension easing out of her as she saw him come in and heard the door click closed. Biting her lip, she looked back at him, Mia still on her hip. "Any cream or sugar for your coffee?" she asked him curiously as she shifted her hold on her daughter to put her back down.


Almost instantly, Mia whimpered, tightening her hold, and Grace exhaled slowly. "Mia, honey, you're getting too big for me to hold you like this," she murmured, but she relented, holding onto her again.


She went back towards the kitchen, managing to get a bowl of her leftover soup into the microwave for him.


While that heated up, she worked on getting his coffee ready. Mia stayed quiet, her face buried against her mother's shoulder. Grace hummed under her breath gently, swaying slightly from side to side. Once the microwave dinged, she carried the soup over to him. "I hope chicken noodle is okay," she admitted with a smile. "Did you want a grilled cheese to go with it?"

 

[redletalis]

"Ah, no, thank you, simple black is fine." Steven replied. He managed to shuffle over to the couch and hesitantly lowered himself down, careful about his leg. In the end it wasn't too bad and the couch was surprisingly comfortable even if it was old. It didn't have any bad smells either like his army buddy's couch had had, so that was always a big plus. Accepting the bowl of soup from her, he shook his head at the question. "No, thank you. This is enough."


Oh. Awkard silence. Welcome back. How much he didn't miss it. What to do? It was moments like these when he missed his torturer of a drill sargeant. The man had always known what to say or do to get Steven into gear.


Well, he might start with proper introductions first. Like normal people.


"I'm Steven Daniels." He said, eyes flickering around the room regularly, cataloguing everything and all exit routes. He couldn't help that or stop it. "It's nice to meet you two. And thank you." He added after a moment.