Claudia the Forest elf

[TooManyMilkshakes]

(This is my first RP on this site so I'm not too sure how everything works)


Name: Claudia Bluethorn


Age: 4


Gender: Female


Species: Forest elf


Appearance: (sorry for crappy photo)





Personality: Claudia is a short-tempered, slightly hot-headed young girl. If she has any emotion other than 'angry', 'frustrated', or 'annoyed', she keeps it hidden. If she doesn't want to do something, she'll do whatever she can to not do it. Examples are 'getting along with others' and, of course, 'school'. Despite her family's best efforts, up until now she has refused to learn to read or write. Despite her anti-social behaviour, she doesn't like being completely alone, and almost enjoys it when she gets on the nerves of adults and other children.


Likes: Musical instruments, hot cocoa, being outside


Dislikes: Schoolwork, wearing bright colours, doing boring things


Fears: Getting laughed at, large groups of people, being completely alone


Favorites: (not really sure what you mean)


Powers/abilities: She can will plants into growing instantly (or, she will be able to)


Talents: She can sing quite well for a 4-year-old... when she wants to, of course


Relationships: Mother (Katherine Bluethorn), unnamed father, three unnamed older siblings


Other: (my internet's been going on and off lately, I might not be able to reply immediately)


Gogoga! *laughs*

 

[Idea]

(This is my first RP on this site so I'm not too sure how everything works)


Name: Claudia Bluethorn


Age: 4


Gender: Female


Species: Forest elf


Appearance: (sorry for crappy photo)


View attachment 165054


Personality: Claudia is a short-tempered, slightly hot-headed young girl. If she has any emotion other than 'angry', 'frustrated', or 'annoyed', she keeps it hidden. If she doesn't want to do something, she'll do whatever she can to not do it. Examples are 'getting along with others' and, of course, 'school'. Despite her family's best efforts, up until now she has refused to learn to read or write. Despite her anti-social behaviour, she doesn't like being completely alone, and almost enjoys it when she gets on the nerves of adults and other children.


Likes: Musical instruments, hot cocoa, being outside


Dislikes: Schoolwork, wearing bright colours, doing boring things


Fears: Getting laughed at, large groups of people, being completely alone


Favorites: (not really sure what you mean)


Powers/abilities: She can will plants into growing instantly (or, she will be able to)


Talents: She can sing quite well for a 4-year-old... when she wants to, of course


Relationships: Mother (Katherine Bluethorn), unnamed father, three unnamed older siblings


Other: (my internet's been going on and off lately, I might not be able to reply immediately)


Gogoga! *laughs*

Could you try expanding on her personality a little? This isn't so much a correction as a suggestion, as if feels a little lacking.


anyway, the actuall problems...


-children don't usually learn to write or read at four even by human standards. If she's four and belongs to a race with an increased life span on top of that, she couldn't have been refusing to learn those because now body would be trying to teach them to her.


-favorites are just that- your character's favorites. Favorite toys, favorite color, favorite animal, whatever pops into your head.


-this is a CS, it is written in omniscient. That implies you can't hide things from me in your CS. "Unnamed father" and "unnamed siblings" is not allowed.


also, welcome to the site! I hope you enjoy the RP.

 

[Idea]

(This is my first RP on this site so I'm not too sure how everything works)


Name: Claudia Bluethorn


Age: 4


Gender: Female


Species: Forest elf


Appearance: (sorry for crappy photo)


View attachment 165054


Personality: Claudia is a short-tempered, slightly hot-headed young girl. If she has any emotion other than 'angry', 'frustrated', or 'annoyed', she keeps it hidden. If she doesn't want to do something, she'll do whatever she can to not do it. Examples are 'getting along with others' and, of course, 'school'. Despite her family's best efforts, up until now she has refused to learn to read or write. Despite her anti-social behaviour, she doesn't like being completely alone, and almost enjoys it when she gets on the nerves of adults and other children.


Likes: Musical instruments, hot cocoa, being outside


Dislikes: Schoolwork, wearing bright colours, doing boring things


Fears: Getting laughed at, large groups of people, being completely alone


Favorites: (not really sure what you mean)


Powers/abilities: She can will plants into growing instantly (or, she will be able to)


Talents: She can sing quite well for a 4-year-old... when she wants to, of course


Relationships: Mother (Katherine Bluethorn), unnamed father, three unnamed older siblings


Other: (my internet's been going on and off lately, I might not be able to reply immediately)


Gogoga! *laughs* 

Great pic by the way'

 

[TooManyMilkshakes]

Great pic by the way'

Thanks very much


Is she approved, or do I need to flesh out some more places?

 

[Idea]

Thanks very much


Is she approved, or do I need to flesh out some more places?

You'll be approved after you fix the issues I pointed out.

 

[TooManyMilkshakes]

You'll be approved after you fix the issues I pointed out.

Oh sorry, i'm blind and didn't see the first part (fml)


I'll fix her up a bit. I'll name the rest of her family too.

 

[Idea]

Oh sorry, i'm blind and didn't see the first part (fml)


I'll fix her up a bit. I'll name the rest of her family too.

Ok, just tell me when you're done