Characters, So many characters

Ershler

New Member



  • I will be putting all my most current/favourite characters here, please have a look and tell me what you think. It would mean alot


 

Normally, I feel that pages with multiple characters can sometimes


end up just being disorganized and unappealing but this does a great


job of keeping everything together; in that regard, great job!


I'll be talking about just Luke for this feedback.


Start Critique


Lukas Felix Fletcher is a pretty awesome name, though the appearance bit made me chuckle a bit.


That is a wonderful picture. Everything is pretty straight forward from the get go and I'm completely in love with


the fact that he is a Gardner/Scientist. Hes a simple man, he has hobbies and is smart as hell. He just sounds very lively to me.



Backstory.



The start is quick and efficient. The usage of the age system to pinpoint events in his life


is functional and keeps it easy to keep track of him as a character. It's also wonderful that you



establish, not only the parents of the character but even some relatives and that alone just opens up the



world to us and it helps bring us in.



We can see that it's been six years since the Fletcher's Homebrews creation and then it goes to him being sixteen.



The six years that pass are a bit expected to be ignored, and if that's the case that is fine but perhaps



there could be more details in that area that helped lead to his discovery of his true passion.


No one just immediately finds their true passion without sorta being introduced a tad to it at some point,


then becoming more and more curious as time passed. That's just my thoughts on that but it's great so far.


That was a genuinely nice paragraph to read about Sophia. It oddly actually felt an affection for


their built relationship and though we aren't told the exact specifics, I guess I can relate and that's


a great way to make a character more believable.




At first, I had no clue what the disaster was but reading on I was pleasantly surprised and


I think you should keep it that way cause I was in sort of a panic like the character. I wasn't sure



what was going on but it seems like our character didn't as well and there is a good connection.






A plant to represent a lost one. Powerful.



I just noticed that you sorta lost track of the age system. You kinda stopped at age 16 and from



that point onward, I kinda just had to assume the age. Perhaps, that may be for the better but it



is just a tiny inconsistency since we kinda have to assume what age he is in the events after. He is 27 in


his age at the top and that is a good deal of space that isn't mentioned... at least, without us having to assume.



I do like the 'use to be a vegetarian till that one time' since it stays true to the story.


I don't recall ever really hearing about Bow and Arrow experience in his backstory so that may be


something you'd want to mention as some point. It's also believable that he'd have a poisoned dagger


being that he practically a plant worshiper of sorts. He can produce his own supply and that is perfect justification for that,


but not so much the Bow and Arrows.


Final Critique




I feel a tad more detail could be mentioned but from what is established so far


We learn a lot about the character and the world they live in and their


experiences. I would say to keep close to staying consistent with the age tracking.


I feel like it says hes 27, just to justify his occupation of 'Scientist'. Him being a


Gardener is pretty damn awesome and I'd like to hear more about how he uses his knowledge of


plant life in his work, what makes his love for plantlife so strong.


I think what you could do is make a short Paragraph synopses of the character


to avoid making a backstory that is so long that people will stray away. It's not bad, I just don't want


people to turn away from a great character with reasonable motivations.


Personally, I felt this character "Luke" and I had a interesting read! Keep up the good work!


- Civetta
 
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Wow! Thanks for your critique.


I've been making my own characters for a while now, and while I've noticed some improvement I have never known have they compare to others? Or what other people thought about him.


I definitely will take what you said into account when I tweak his profile, dead lines, ya know? Haha Thank you so much for your feed back
 

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