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Calvin Klein and Cigarettes

...


Holy fuck.


Ouch.


Oscar really did not want to wake up, because waking up meant he became conscious of the monster hangover that was hammering its way through his skull like bloody Mjolnir or some shit. He didn't think he quite understood pain up until that moment, and he buried himself with a groan into the cushions of whatever the hell he was lying on, screwing up his eyes and trying to pray away the hangover.


The worst part was there was the delicious smell of cooked breakfast wafting over to him, and with a previously emptied stomach he was starving. Getting food would involve standing up, however, and braving the light of day. Moaning pathetically, Oscar pushed himself to sit up painstakingly slowly, keeping his eyes closed and burying his head in his hands. Why had he let himself drink so much? What the hell had those bloody green things been?


Cracking open one eye, he found a water bottle and some painkillers set out before him, and like a parched man in a desert he gulped down the water, emptying the bottle, and chucked back the pills with them. Whoever had set them out before him was truly a merciful god. Looking around, he found he was in his own apartment, thank god, and following the smell, he spotted Craig stood before him, right as a wet cloth fell off of his forehead. "Craig," he said quietly, his voice sounding so very, very rough. "Seven hells, what happened?"


The last night was a total blank slate to him. Everything felt murky and painful and he vaguely remembered a club of some sorts, and maybe, dear god, dancing with Craig. There was someone else there too. "Craig, did you fuck a hipster last night? Why do I feel like we met the hipster god? Fuuuuuck," he cursed, grappling with his head again as speaking triggered the headache. "And how much did I drink?"


Moaning again, wanting nothing more than to flop down into the sofa, Oscar knew that food would be a better plan, along with more water if he wanted to sober up. Pushing himself up from the sofa, steadying himself, he contemplated if he was going to vomit again or not, but decided he was safe. "Fooooooood," he said in his best zombie voice, placing his hands on Craig's back and gently pushing him through to the kitchen because god dammit food. As his expert nose had detected, bacon. Bacon and coffee and- "Craig, have I ever told you I love you? Because I don't say it enough. You're freaking magic."


Grabbing a seat by one of the plates, Oscar chain drank the coffee first because when did light become so bloody painful? Looking over at Craig, he tried to piece together what had happened last night, his throbbing head not helping. His lips felt kind of chapped and raw. Had he actually managed to get kissed last night? Please dear god, tell me it was a girl and not Craig, his begged mentally, stabbing a piece of bacon. What did he last remember yesterday. Cooking with Craig... coming home to find Craig crying. Keegan. The scummy bastard sent from the depths of hell, whom he had every intention to slaughter in every way possible. Or, at the very least, keep Craig safe.


"Oh yeah, and um, Craig. Do you want me to like, stalk you to work or something? Just you know, so that if Keegan tries to pull anything, you can use me as a human shield during a fight. I might be hungover as fuck right now, but I reckon I can still growl and look menacing."
 
Craig pursed his lips and looked down at Oscar's stomach. Could he punch that? He probably could. It might even knock the wind out of him if he actually used all his strength. "I lost track after your third shot of absinthe. Serves you right to feel like shit." Oscar probably wouldn't think too much of his now very sour attitude. How could he have been so stupid to think this idiot would remember what happened last night? "And yes I did. Right on the couch next to you. But he left before you woke up." His dry humor was particularly prickly this morning. He picked up the dropped wet towel and stood up. Of course, like always, Oscar wiggled his way around Craig's nasty attitude and he was pushed back into the kitchen. Now just... leave your hands there, pull me into a hug, pretend to eat me like a zombie going after brains. I bet that's something you'd do. Hell, even if they did have a relationship, he knew that things would turn strange. Things would be different and awkward. But hell... their lives were pretty awkward now anyways.


As if things couldn't get any more tense, Oscar made it worse. Craig's heart nearly stopped at what Oscar said and he mentally cursed himself. He doesn't care. He doesn't mean it. It's a friend love. He is your best friend. Your best fucking friend I swear to god. "Yeah you say that plenty. I guess I can't say that back until you return the favor." Hell, by not cooking, he was helping. Why was Craig acting like the love sick one? Oscar was supposed to be the one after him, not the other way around.


This morning was going particularly peachy thus far. "I know that's just a ploy to see the sexy guys at my work place." He said in a half joking tone. He would have been more joking had he not felt like complete and utter shit this morning. He picked at the crispier pieces of bacon and poked his egg until it oozed a little bit. His head hurt, his heart ached, and he just wanted to lean on someone. But that someone was the cause of all this. "Look, you should just go to sleep after this. Maybe think of picking up a job." Craig sighed, not in a disappointed way though. He didn't care if Oscar worked, to be honest, as long as his share of the rent was paid and he did some chores every now and again. Though if Craig was thinking about a career switch he'd have to get a part time for a while so Craig could look for something else. "I'm going to... think of a career change..." He grumbled, half wanting advice, but also not wanting to talk about why he wanted to change careers. The biggest reason was to get out of the nasty environment, with self-absorbed pricks.


"You are always free to come though. Don't get upset with me when they rip you a new--" His phone rang and he begrudgingly picked it up without looking at the caller I.D. From the hangover he was already cranky enough. It wasn't even ten in the morning and so far life was shitting on him terribly. Craig was a pretty lucky guy and spent his days happy and smiling but today... was not his day.


"You have quite the set of balls to call me, you know?" He said in a nasty tone that was very unlike him. Even if the guy on the other end deserved it.


"Like fucking hell you're sorry." Craig snarled into the phone. "You're a piece of shit, Keegan. No, not even casual. You can shove it, Keegan."


Even Oscar could probably hear the obnoxious whining and pleading from Keegan. When it came to getting laid, typically he'd do anything, even if that meant begging or using cheap methods of force. It pissed him off that he let Keegan get so much power over him. For now it was good he was more angry than upset, because he wasn't just sobbing and taking it from Keegan. He was rather worried that if he hadn't been so angry he would have forgiven Keegan and let him get away with this again.


Half way through Keegan's whining he hung up and let out a long groan. He leaned on Oscar so heavy that he threatened to push him off the counter stool. "Fine." He said, muffled into Oscar's shirt. "You can come to my photoshoot... but please behave." He knew that his roommate would behave and all those other guys would probably cause a problem. But he couldn't invite that new hipster god to such a mainstream event. LAter today he was supposed to meet up with him, but right now he could hardly think straight. Looks wise, Danny was great and sure he was a little bit... hipster and that was slightly annoying, but hell, Craig insisted on collecting cereal box rings.


"God you smell awful. You smell like--" A gay bar. A mix of cheap cologne, sweat and desperation. He had to keep last night a secret, which meant hiding the fact that they went to a gay bar. If Oscar started to suspect anything he could say they went to a regular bar and was flirting around with some girl he didn't know. He totally forgot about the fact that Chris put his number in Oscar's phone. Luckily for now Chris was nursing a hangover as well.


He sat up finally and did more eating rather than poking at his food. Once it was settled in his stomach he felt much better. Work. Work. Why did he have to go to work. "So. You... don't remember anything from last night?" He asked, wondering if per chance, Oscar was avoiding it. "Like... nothing?" Because if you seriously remember nothing I am going to punch you so hard right now, maybe in the stomach, maybe in your baby maker.
 
Amongst the headache and his burning eyes and hunger, Oscar couldn't really process the world around him, but he could still tell that Craig was upset. He felt too pathetic to get angry in response or to laugh it off with a joke, more inclined to just turn into a lump on the floor and drag Crag down with him and glomp him until he cheered up. "I'm going to choose to take that comment as sarcasm, because if not, we need to wash our couch. That's just plain unhygienic." Apparently he'd gone with joking instead of glomping, because hugging Craig felt kind of weird right now.


Looking up from his coffee, Oscar frowned at his bestie. Why are you so upset? He thought about the possibilities for a moment, and narrowed it down to two possibilities. Either the hipster god had done something stupid... and Oscar had been too drunk to stop it, or drunk Oscar had been an asshole, and Craig had been too drunk to stop it. Thinking about what had been going on recently, Oscar could well see the latter as a possibility. "I've always offered to cook, but for some reason you reject my charcoal offerings. It's very nutritious you know. Also great for curing you if you're been poisoned." God, trying to keep up the humour when Craig was sour and he was hungover was so fucking difficult. He mentally begged Craig to cheer up and just hug him, morning hugs were the only thing that were going to heal his aching head


"Hah, why would I need to see them when I have you all to myself?" Oscar teased, though with half as much enthusiasm as normal, too wrecked to deal with this and worried something was seriously wrong. True, he always felt shitty when hungover, but today seemed especially bad because Craig was in a mood too. He wanted to know what he'd done when he was drunk but... well, maybe he didn't. Not knowing might prove easier. "And I can sit on my phone whilst you pose or whatever and browse for job vacancies. I was serious about that. We're nearly out of bacon and it's my turn to buy so-" On that note, he finished off his bacon, mournfully pouting at its now being gone.


Raising an eyebrow of surprise, Oscar had thought that Craig's work had been going well. You know, rapists aside. Okay, the job switch made sense to him. "What are you thinking of changing to?" He asked conversationally, hoping it would distract Craig from whatever was upsetting him. They'd never been this awkward together before, so he didn't really know how to go about addressing the tension, particularly out of fear for making things worse.


His grip on his knife tightened when he recognised the annoying whine of Keegan's voice on the end of the line, and he angrily stabbed at his plate as he listened, scowling moodily. When Craig leant on him though, he figured that meant he couldn't be too pissed with him if physical contact was still on the table, so he set down his cutlery and settled with glomping Craig, glad for his weight as he wrapped his arms around the other male and resting his chin on his best friend's shoulder. "Well done for telling him to fuck off," he said, since he'd learned by now how tricky that could be for Craig, too bloody nice for his own good. "And now I'm definitely coming. And yes, I will behave, smile sweetly at all your beautiful friends, scare a couple airheads. Try not to kill any bastards."


"I'll shower before greeting your fragrant friends," Oscar promised, having wondered what that smell was. Oops. "And not really... I mean... I think we went out somewhere with the hipster? And did I dance? Because I need to know how badly I've publicly humiliated myself so I know if I need to hide indoors for a while. We came back here at some point..." Did anything else happen past then? "You were... upset about something? Is that why you're grumpy now - and don't deny that you are sourpuss. Look, I'm sorry I don't remember anything, and for drinking too much when I was supposed to be on punching-assholes duty, but just tell me what it was and I'll fix it or apologise or whatever you want."
 
"I fear for our apartment if you cook." He tried to return in a joking tone, but he couldn't get anything out that sounded light hearted. Instead he sounded like a bitchy asshole. It was rare that he was in a mood like this, but Oscar was handling it surprisingly well, especially with how he asked the job related question. "Maybe... just a smaller modeling company..." He mumbled shyly as he picked at nothing on the counter. There wasn't much he could do other than modeling. Craig, simply put, was dumb as a fucking brick. Sure his people skills were great, but he couldn't be waiter. Last time he was a waiter he broke so many plates that he was fired within a month. "Maybe normal mens clothes." He grumbled softly, sort of hinting at that he was tired of being an underwear model. Honestly, it wasn't the underwear. He loved the confidence boost from his underwear shots, but it sometimes kept him back from meeting nice people, he thought. Who wanted someone that sold their body to a magazine like a whore? Only the douche bags who also participated.


Craig held his breath when Oscar held him close, not because he was waiting for this to be over, but because he was so shocked. He wrapped his arms around Oscar and even grabbed the back of his shirt a little bit. The hug started as a sigh of relief for telling off Keegan, but his grip became tighter and he tucked his head into Oscar's shoulder, trying to find comfort in all the shit he was going through. "I am tired, of not having good guys." He muttered as an explanation for finally telling Keegan to fuck off. This hug was enough for him to forgive him, sort of. Tell me what you told me last night. Oscar, that will fix everything, just remember. Craig was feeling overwhelmed and took in a shaky breath.


"I was upset last night, yes. Then you made up for it..." Craig dug his face further into Oscar's shoulder and he held in a sniffle. There was a slight blush on his face as he remembered it, exactly as it happened. It was hard to believe the same person was now sitting in front of him. He wondered about how this morning would be different if Oscar had remembered. Maybe it wouldn't be some sickly sweet romance, but it would be a light hearted comedy. Oscar would compliment his bacon like always, then he'd give him a kiss on his right cheek to make him look right while he stole a piece of bacon on his left. Of course Craig would catch him, but he'd still give it. They would be laughing. He imagined a relationship with Oscar meant a lot of giggling and laughing and that was perfectly okay with him. This just made him feel a lot worse, but he was able to hold in the actual tears.


Shaking slightly, and a little bit red in the cheeks, he pulled back and looked to his roommate for a moment. His stupid cute face, just waiting to hear what he did wrong. That stupid eyeliner, smudged around his stupid eyes, slightly droopy from the sleepy hangover, it pissed him off. Craig noticed these stupid things before, but never looked at them in the same light. "Oscar... I really wish you'd remember..." He said in a very soft tone while trying to give his friend a smile.


He wrapped his arms around Oscar and hugged him tight again. His face was hidden away again too because he felt so embarrassed. "That's what I want, for you to remember." Craig wanted to kiss this smelly bastard until he was blue in the face. He wanted to hold him tight, to go back to the couch and cuddle. He wanted to be together with him, but he knew, deep down, it was best if they were not together. So even if Oscar remembered one of these days, he couldn't let him fall in love as well. He pulled back from the hug and gave Oscar a sad, giving-up smile. "But it's no use if you were drunk huh?" Oscar wouldn't remember any time soon. Craig would just have to be cautious from now on and try not to do anything to trigger those memories. That meant no more hugging and lay off the gay.


"G-Go shower... I don't have to be there until this afternoon. I'm going to invite Danny over..." He was about to pat Oscar's thigh, like he usually did to let him know it was time to get up, but he didn't. Craig put their plates in the dishwasher and started loading it with the dishes he used while cooking. Oscar would probably try to ask questions, so he took his phone out to call up Danny who greeted him with a bit of a grumble. It took less than a moment for Danny to perk up and agree to come over for a little while, especially since Craig had purposely put in a little giggle when he asked.


While he waited for Danny to come over, he went to clean up in his bedroom, but more especially, he cleaned the living room. It wasn't overly dirty, since he cleaned their pizza and Chinese food filth from the other day. Of course he only cleaned to snuggle with Danny a bit. He didn't have any plan to make out with Danny just to get back at Oscar. No way would he ever do that. Oscar probably wouldn't have gotten jealous anyways, since he wasn't gay, nor was he interested in Craig. At all. Craig quickly pulled Danny inside when he arrived. Leaning up, he gave Danny a kiss, followed by a quick second, a third, then a glance to the couch. Danny sat down on the couch and Craig sat on his lap, looking over the back of the couch. Perfect.
 
"You're making it sound like some pretty earth-shattering stuff happened last night," Oscar said a little hesitantly, hugging Craig back whilst desperately scrambling to make his brain recall the previous night's events. If Craig wasn't telling him outright then though... I probably didn't do anything weird, right? Admittedly, he was curious as hell as to what it was that had upset Craig so much, how he'd apparently made that better, and everything else he'd forgotten, but in case it was what he thought it was, he didn't have the guts to ask. Denial and avoidance seemed like the best tactic, until all the tension festered into a massive argument and a possible mental breakdown.


He had the best plans.


"Just don't use the couch this time," Oscar said with as much dry satire as he could manage, finishing off his food before washing up his plate. Smelling himself again to check just how desperately he needed to shower, he had no idea what the hell had caused him to smell so much like an orgy, but judging by the lack of stiffness, he was pretty sure they hadn't wound up somewhere quite like that. Craig's cologne also clung to him, though he decided that was probably down to cuddling rather than anything weird. Cuddling definitely didn't count as weird either. Cuddling was manly as fuck.


I really need to call beth after a shower, Oscar said to himself, figuring maybe some good boob-exposure would remind him about the perks of heterosexuality and not obsessing over his room mate. Leaving Craig to moon over the hipster god, Oscar retreated to the bathroom, stripping off before clambering into the shower. It was a relief to be away from Craig for a second, just to clear his head and stop worrying about how he'd upset him so much. "He's with the hipster god, remember?" Oscar said, talking aloud to himself now as he head-butted the shower wall, figuring maybe if he killed a few brain cells one of them might be responsible for all this thinking crap and he could quit the whole business entirely. "He's probably just upset because you said something rude. Boobs will solve this problem."


Once out and towelled off, Oscar fished his phone out of his trouser pockets, flipping it open to go text Beth. As he opened it up, however, he found a new message in his inbox, from a number he didn't recognise, but it'd been tagged with the name 'Chris'. Apparently he'd texted the guy first, although reading it over Oscar got the impression that someone else had written it.


Chris
me
Hi this is Oscar who is definitely going to remember to call your amazing ass.
them
I'm waiting. The straight thing had better have been a joke.
them
I don't care how hungover you are. CALL ME.


"...Craig?" Oscar said quietly, about to shout through to his room mate before realising he was probably worshipping the hipster god and wouldn't want to be disturbed. Pulling on some clothes, staring intermittently at the text as he tried to decipher it, Oscar stumbled out of the bathroom still gaping at his phone screen, wondering if it would make more sense if he wasn't hungover/remembered last night.


"Hey Danny," Oscar said absently, not wanting to be rude or anything. Glancing up from his phone, he looked up just in time to see Craig sucking the hipster's face off, pinning him to the sofa. Well. Apparently gods could be worshipped in all sorts of ways nowadays. "I'll... I'll just leave you two alone then," Oscar said awkwardly, his throat going dry. He was normally pretty cool around Craig and his boytoys, especially the kooky ones who were fun to banter with or about but... well, things had been different recently. Craig would think that something was up if he didn't at least make an effort though, so as he retreated to his bedroom he called a token, "Use protection!" over his shoulder before pulling the door closed.


Never one to defy instruction, Oscar took a deep breath and then dialled this mysterious 'Chris' back, listening to the phone ring whilst unconsciously holding his breath. Perhaps whoever this was could tell him what had happened last night... please don't pick up, please don't pick up, please don't-





"Hello?"


"Chris?"


"Oscar?"


"Yeah, um, hi. Chris."


"... You don't have a clue who I am, do you?"


"Course I do. You're the guy who's number has mysteriously appeared in my phone."


Whoever this Chris was, they laughed at that, and Oscar thus sighed in relief. At least not everyone was pissed off at him. Sitting down on his bed, flopping backwards to lie starfish style across the covers, Oscar bit the inside of his cheek, wondering how to phrase his next question. Fortunately, it turned out he didn't have to. "I thought you were impressively smashed last night. Want me to clue you in on what happened last night, asshole?"


"Dear god, yes."


Thus the mysterious Chris relayed the details of what the hell had occurred the previous evening, right up until the point a furious Craig had dragged him out of a freaking gay bar. "Oh my god," Oscar said with a pained groan, face-palming. A gay bar? Dancing with a guy? Pissing off Craig? Last night couldn't have gone much worse.


"Yeah, then your bitchy friend said you were straight and stormed out of there with you. I was seriously offended, actually. I mean your friend already had a date. I thought I was the chosen one for you, but apparently I was mistaken." It seemed maybe everyone was pissed off at him.


"Um, Chris, listen: Can I call you back? I just need to sort out some shit." Mainly my life. "I'll call you back, I swear."


"You'd better do. Talk to you later I guess."
 
Being with some guy, on the couch, without a care for where Oscar was and if he would see was typically how his play dates went. Typically he wouldn't get so embarrassed or anything. Actually he had planned on seeing if doing this would get a rise out of Oscar, but instead it got a rise out of Craig. Embarrassment. Hell, he wouldn't be surprised if Oscar secretly thought ill of him for switching guys so often.


It wasn't fair of him to ban his roommate to his bedroom, but Danny didn't seem to mind. Danny even chuckled at what his roommate called over to him. "He doesn't remember a thing from last night, does he?" The hipster asked while he placed stray kisses on Craig's cheeks.


"Nope and doubt he will." Craig forgot, about one person in particular. He hadn't seen Chris put his number in Oscar's phone, so he didn't think Chris could ever be in the picture. "Come on, let's go to my room..." He said softly, which made Danny smile and pick him up. Craig giggled as he was carried to his bedroom. Well that was new! Danny bumped into Oscar's door first and Craig giggled even louder. "N-No no the other door!" He whispered loudly, and Danny carried him into the right room.


Contrary to what his giggling typically suggested, he did not have plans to go all the way with Danny. Keegan had been so rough with him the day before that it would probably hurt. Besides, Oscar was on his mind. Craig was trying to think of ways of saying no while they kissed on his bed, but Danny pulled away first.


"We probably shouldn't... so soon, you know." Danny mumbled as he gently touched Craig's cheek.


That made all thoughts about Oscar fade away so quickly he forgot what he was even worrying about. What? No guy had ever said that to him! At first he panicked, thinking something was potentially wrong with him but Danny only laughed a little.


"I'm serious... I mean... we hardly know each other...Though I am glad you seem to remember last night so we don't have to go through it all again." Leaning forward, Danny kissed him and then brought him close to cuddle.


Craig had no idea what to say, or feel. It was a mix between happiness and skepticism. He was waiting for Danny to laugh and roll him over to do it anyways, but that never came. They ended up talking instead, and this time Craig wasn't fake giggling like last night. Danny even pointed that out and he blushed. Oh, was it that noticeable how bad of a flirt he was?


This talking didn't last for just a half hour, or even an hour, it lasted two full hours, of silly cuddling and just talking. Craig had even dozed off in Danny's arms for a while. But either way, he was so happy, so relaxed and his painful thoughts of last night started to finally fade away. If he could manage to hold this relationship, then he'd stop fighting with his roommate who could go back to Beth or find some other girl in that community college. Hell, there had to be lots of girls there. They couldn't all hate Oscar. When he woke from his nap he was alone on the bed with his smaller blanket over him. Craig let out a yawn and got up to go see where Danny had went. He was still fully dressed and in order, since they hadn't actually done anything.


He heard bumping around in the kitchen and red sirens went off in his head. Craig quickly skidded into the kitchen. "Oscar please don't cook! I'll make you--... something..." But only, it wasn't Oscar, but Danny in there.


Danny chuckled at Craig's reaction. "Hungry for some lunch? It's only something small."


The model looked just as confused as when Danny said no to sex. Curiously he went beside Danny to see what he was making.


"I made hot sandwiches, though... it's vegetarian, if that's okay." Danny said. Craig still looked so shocked, so he kissed him to bring him back to reality.


Craig didn't care if there was no meat in it. Having lunch made for him? And when it smelled this good? Hell as long as it wasn't burnt he didn't care. "It smells so good... I didn't know you could cook."


"You are so surprised lately. Am I so much different than previous...." He trailed off, since he didn't know what they were.


"Previous boyfriends?" Craig said sheepishly, smiling shyly at Danny. "Yeah... they never seem to know how to cook."


"What a shame. I wouldn't mind cooking for you more often. I'm sorry I only make vegetarian meals though..." Danny put their sandwiches on plates and set them on the counter.


Heh, Oscar could heat up the left over Chinese or pizza. For once, he wasn't even going to cook! Craig sat at the counter and bit into his hot sandwich. It wasn't burnt! It tasted... good! How was this possible? He finally found someone who wasn't an asshole and they knew how to cook! He didn't really explain how his previous boyfriends tended to be, although Danny could guess they weren't the best of people and was nice enough to leave it be. Throughout the meal they had a normal conversation and he spoke about his modeling. Danny beat around the bush about it, but Craig could see that he wasn't so impressed with a mainstream model. Maybe Danny could be Craig's ticket into smaller modeling companies, something about indie brands or whatever, but he didn't care as long as he was able to find something that didn't kill his self esteem. He invited Danny to come, but the hipster had to work.


Craig made sure to give Danny a very nice kiss to send him off. As soon as the door shut and he heard Danny walk far enough down the hall, Craig screamed like a fangirl and clawed at the air. He ran into Oscar's room without knocking and tackled him. "Oscar Oscar Oscar Oscar!!" The model pawed at his friend, cackling like an idiot. Once he had managed to pin poor Oscar on his stomach on the bed, Craig perched on top of him. Very quietly he whispered. "King of the mountain..."


"OSCAR. I found norm--... no normal isn't the word! He... he cooked for me!!" Though Oscar probably knew that since he didn't get lunch made for him today. "I was worried... about actually doing stuff today." He said a little sorrowfully and honestly. "But he said we shouldn't because we hardly know each other..." The genuine shock in his voice was probably sad, since everyone deserved a decent relationship. "I'm sorry... I was so upset with you today. Let's make a truce? But... I can't let you up. I am king of the mountain."
 
Starfishing on his bedsheets, Oscar tried to fall to sleep, but when he was just about there someone (or someones, in this case) knocked against his door, the sounds of Craig giggling coming from outside. The monster known as jealousy decided to rear its ugly head then, against Oscar's best wishes, and dear lord when did bisexual panics becomes so melodramatic? He remembered the last one he'd had, back when Craig had first come out, and that had been solved incredibly easily. His brain said boobs were best, and the rest of him decided to agree with it, especially since he'd spent most days watching people be dickheads to Craig for liking the D. How could that amazingly tactical plan be failing him now? Madness!


A combination of weed and screwing around on a gameboy for a while meant he eventually managed to pass out, waking up only when the smell of food wafted in from outside. On the plus side, that meant the other two males present hadn't been at it like rabbits and woken him up. Actually, on the more plus side (pluser side? plusest side? He'd figure that out later in a college class or something), food. Rolling off of the bed and half running to the door, Oscar froze with true film actor timing with his hand on the door handle, listening to the conversation being held outside.


Dear god.


Danny was him. The chosen one. The nicest guy in the world, who would cook breakfast for Craig. Okay, so he was one meal too late, but he was still new at this so Oscar had to cut him a little slack. Honestly, he didn't know if he wanted to grin or go sob like a shitty teenage romance maiden into his bloody pillow. On the one hand, he was so frigging happy that Craig had his nice guy, his actual nice guy who wasn't bloody Keegan. Hell, they hadn't even banged as far as he could tell. What had they been doing for all that time? Probably staring into each other's eyes and souls and experiencing the essence of life and the squishy, gooey warmth of true and epic love.


So that was great. What was less great was how Oscar felt more regret and weird, undeserved heartbreak than anything else. Hell, if he'd just said something that morning maybe- maybe I could have ruined Craig's perfect relationship with the nicest guy on earth. Yeah. What a shame I didn't have the guts.


Would I have been a bad boyfriend? Oscar wondered, retreating to the bed and collapsing, looking over at Chris's number and texts. I could have done stuff. I think there's a cookbook somewhere in this black hole of an apartment. Plus I bet the hipster god doesn't even know what pizza cones are. So there. Clearly, I am the better candidate.





He continued his pathetic mental rambling until Craig burst in through the door, interrupting his excellent impression of a soap opera star, jumping on him before he could much as brace himself. "Argh! What the hell has the hipster god drugged you with? Or is this what creepy hipster rituals do to you?" Oscar grumbled, trying to wiggle free but gosh darn it Craig was surprisingly good at this pinning thing. He wondered if he was a top or a bottom, and if the two skills correlated... which is none of my business.


Listening to Craig fanboy over the hipster prince, Oscar had been enough of a jealous bitch with himself, so for Craig, he'd use the side of him that was still his best friend. Growling menacingly, he used his weight to his advantage and flipped Craig over, wrestling with him to claim victory over the mountain. "Ahem," he said with a posh cough, looking snooty. "As your new ruler, I think you'll find I'm the king of the mountain. And I really can't believe you. You found the nicest guy who cooks for you! Does this make me psychic...?" Oscar pretended to ponder that for a moment, looking as innocent and as distracted as possible, before grinning menacingly and tickling his conquered room mate, evil laughing all the while. "Too bad he left you alone with me, fool that he is. Now you will pay for not feeding the beast."


After years of practice and infinite tickle wars, Oscar knew every one of Craig's weak spots, and tickled him without mercy until he had to stop and catch his breath, rolling off of the model. What if that was going to be their last tickle war? What if Craig moved in with the nicest guy in the world? What if that meant Oscar didn't have an excuse to ask himself endless questions and go off on paranoid tangents, and thus have to deal with reality? "Urgh, I'm so happy for you, you absolute bastard. He seems great. For you. For fighting the mainstream and the capitalist tyranny. For cooking. And um... I'm sorry for whatever I did to upset you, even though I don't remember it." He held out his pinky finger like a god forsaken school girl. "Best friends make friends never ever break friends? Or whatever the hell cute girls with pigtails say to each other."


Vaguely recovered from the hangover now, Oscar grabbed his phone and then stretched out, glancing back at Craig. "Now, I believe I've been promised some hot female models? They're not going to be made to feel mildly uncomfortable all by themselves you know. You can gush about the hipster king on the way over. He's no good if he's going to make you late for work."
 
Poor Oscar was the victim to his playful clawing and headbutts. He didn't want to hurt him, but he was definitely being rough and happy. Craig had a giggling fit when his roommate finally pinned him back on the bed and claimed to be mountain king now. "B-Beast! I-I thought you were king?!" He was giggling up a fit and squirming about as his roommate tickled him. By now he knew all the places he was ticklish and Craig was pinned so he couldn't crawl away. "M-Mercy! M-Mercy! O-Otherwise I will hahaha w-w-wet your bed!" He rolled onto his belly and pretended to die there once Oscar showed some mercy and let him go. Well, this morning took a turn for the better. He woke up pissed off at the one person he never wanted to really fight with, and now they were back to tickle fighting.


"Oscar..." He said with a soft smile. Craig sat up and chuckled as he looked down at the pinky. Oscar was a sweet heart, and truly his best friend. Even if they fought, or hell, if they started dating, Oscar would always be his best friend. He held out his pinky and pinky swore to his roommate with a little shake as well. He then took his whole hand and pulled him into a hug. Craig was thinking the same things as Oscar. What if he had remembered last night and said something about it today? What if... they had started dating? Sure Craig probably wouldn't get meals, but that's not exactly what he needed in a relationship. He just needed someone sweet, kind, caring... Sure Oscar was all of those things, but Craig couldn't actually convince himself Oscar was gay. Maybe he was hiding that he was bisexual, but it's not like Craig would pull it out of him. He remembered all the things his friend ever did for him over the years, from supporting him when he came out, to putting up with each and every bad boyfriend he brought home, to his crying, laughing and swooning.


"It's fine, I am not upset anymore. I'm sorry too... You are my best friend, so..." There was so much he wanted to say, but they were mainly words that were better left unsaid. Oscar knew how much Craig loved him didn't he? "I can only make you bacon when he isn't here..." Craig said with a laugh, knowing Oscar would groan at that. He pulled back and patted his friends cheeks. "Yeah. Today. Probably no hot female models. Today is actually most of the solo underwear shots so prepare for a sausage fest." The model paused for a moment. Did Oscar actually know he was an underwear model? Sure that one time when they were drunk he had definitely flaunted them, but he only knew that because he woke up on top of his friend wearing them. But Oscar had been too drunk to remember. Either way, this photo shoot would prove interesting.


"Okay okay let's get you something on the way there." He scooted forward on the bed and latched onto Oscar's back. "Forward, slave. Horsey. Neigh neigh. Moosh!" He pointed forward with one hand and locked his legs around Oscar's waist. "Go or I'll bite you." Craig wondered if Danny would still like him if he knew he was this strange and this touchy-feely with his roommate. "I've saved up a good amount of money, but not enough for a car. I was thinking on getting a motorbike. Now, IF you are good, and pay the insurance per month, I'll buy it and we can share it." Craig said as he sat on the back of Oscar's bike. He would have taken the bus, but he liked riding on the back of Oscar's bike, besides, it would make for an easier get away if shit went down at work, like he was expecting.


He gave Oscar the directions to a hotel near the large city mall. His company rented out some of the nice pent houses for the photoshoot. Since they were modeling underwear and sleep wear today, the bedroom was the location. His manager met him outside and the man looked over Oscar like he was a piece of shit next to a diamond. "Who's... this?"


"My roommate. He is going to watch the photoshoot. He is my ride, so he stays."


The man didn't seem to keen on having him, but he didn't argue because Craig was already pulling Oscar along. They headed up to the top floor. The large suits chosen were luxurious, befitting of Calvin Klein. In the room he went to, there were only five other models, one of which was Keegan. There were camera men and equipment, as well as other managers. He leaned closer to Oscar and whispered. "I'll pop you one if you say anything about this looking like an AV setting."


"Oh look. Lady and the tramp." Keegan said with a snarl in his voice. "And you..." He pointed to Craig. "Are the little tramp."


"Once your salary and demand is as high as mine then you can talk to me." Craig said back in a light, cheerful tone. "What am I wearing today...?" He asked his manager who already brought over neatly folded clothing. A cute pajama set, and of course, a pair of maroon briefs on top of the pile. Great. Hopefully Oscar wouldn't have another panic today. Though, he was sure that even the straightest of men would have a fit upon seeing him.
 
"You're such a badass," Oscar whispered to Craig as he stormed past his boss or something, having just demanded Oscar's continued presence at the underwear shoot. It was, as Craig had warned, a sausage fest. Oh lord. Oh. Lord. Oh- wait a minute, was that Keegan. Slimy, doomed little git. When the bastard had the nerve to actually call out to Craig, to so much as look at him, Oscar flipped out of tickle fight mode, into I'm-gonna-fuck-you-up mode, hackles up.


Did I just get called Lady? He contemplated on a side note as Craig delivered the sickest of burns, Oscar making a singe sound effect whilst giving Keegan the evil eye. "I hope you're not busy after work today, Keegan dearest," Oscar said in the most sickly sweet voice he could manage, "I thought we could go out and have some fun." And not the gay kind Keegan. Not the gay kind.


Oscar managed to resist having not-the-gay-kind fun with Keegan for the entirety of the shoot, a teensy bit distracted anyway by what was going on. He did his best to keep his focus on his phone but... There were so many unfairly attractive men in their underwear, posing like- well, like underwear models, let's put it like that. He lost the ability to look at his phone screen entirely when it was Craig's turn, maroon boxers his only attire as he stuck his butt here and there.


I think, Oscar said to himself, very slowly, having to work awfully hard to keep his mouth shut, I'm bisexual.

~ xXx ~

​



"Craig you fuckwit," Oscar yelled through from the living room, dumping down a box of baubles on the coffee table that he'd just lugged through the front door. "Stop buying these fucking things. We have literally run out of room on the tree."


Fishing a bunch out of the box, he gave the tree a stubborn sort of stare down, trying to spot somewhere where he could cram on another one. By inching two further up one of the branches he could just about shove a big pink sparkly one onto the end, but to be honest, he feared if they added anymore the tree with collapse under the weight of them all. Only Craig could take Christmas this far.


Christmas with Craig was, for the record, the best thing in the world. The D was seriously missing out, even if he did think Christmas was all part of the capitalist materialistic mainstream that exploited the ignorant public, blah blah blah. He missed out on trying to suffocate a christmas tree, and freaking Craig during christmas. Moreover: Christmas food. Christmas decorations. Christmas food. Need he go on?


Wrestling with a tree branch to try and coat it in another glistening accessory, Oscar felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket and dug it out, letting the tree have this one.


Chris
them
So am I coming over for christmas or what?
me
I told you, you don't want to fall victim to the horrors of Christmas Craig. He will convert you into one of his elfy minions.
them
God forbid. How's the crippling infatuation going with him btw?


Over the past couple of months, Chris had kind of become his... well, he called himself Oscar's 'gay guidance counsellor', but there was no way in hell Oscar was going to call him that. Gay dino-sensei sounded much more sensible. It was pretty cool, since it gave Oscar someone to talk to whilst Craig was off seducing the hipster king, though naturally he hadn't told him about it, or that he was even still in contact with Chris. Whilst Craig was still happy with the hipster god, keeping his bisexual panic/confession under wraps was the main priority.


"Craig, just invite Danny over," Oscar said as he texted back Chris with a 'Still crippling. I'm just setting on fire all the mistletoe he puts up so I'm safe'. "He'll give up his hipster ways the second he smells your amazing gingerbread. On the note of which-" Playing leapfrog with the sofa, Oscar hurdled himself over the back of it and nimbly swiped another one of Craig's gingerbread creations because dear lord, they were amazing.
 
"Whatever baubles don't fit on the tree will be shoved somewhere else I'm sure you won't like!" Craig said in a cheerful tone despite the horrid meaning. No matter what he said, if it was during the Christmas season he was full of smiling and Christmas fucking cheer. Craig was definitely Santa and Oscar was his sad little elf, having to carry all the decorations and all the terrible crap he brought with him. The apartment had done a complete one eighty, from being the average young twenty-year old man nest, to a Christmas wonderland.


"Do you think we should get another one?" He said seriously as he inspected their Christmas tree which was full of all sorts of baubles. From ornaments his parents gave him, to ones he bought himself, it was jam packed. The madness didn't end there though. He covered the living room with his Christmas cheer, from snowman pillows to snowflake blankets. The coffee table had a white table cloth on it that had tiny silver snow flakes on it. Their curtains had candy cane print and along the false mantle was greenery filled with even more baubles and candy canes. The kitchen wasn't even spared. Since he didn't like the fake smell of candles, but he loved the look of candles, he bought the fake battery powered ones that glowed a soft red and others a soft white. There were little ornaments and figurines and of course snow globes everywhere. Their small area rug had been switched with a Christmas themed one.


Oscar's bedroom was the only place untouched. Even their bathroom had been put in the spirit with a snowflake shower curtain, a fuzzy candy cane striped toilet seat cover and even mirror jelly stickers of holly berries and leaves. Even Oscar's body wasn't spared because he forced his friend to wear either antlers. Craig had a long red Santa hat. The ugly Christmas sweaters were brought out too. "He doesn't like Christmas..." Craig whined as he opened the oven to take out his second batch of ginger bread men. Typically he didn't wear an apron, but he had his special Christmas apron. It was a soft red with a green pocket and little holly berries on it. Even he knew it was the most girly thing he could find, but he didn't mind since it was Christmasy. "Says it's a ploy by the government and large corporations to further the difference between the social classes." He recited that from memory because hell, he heard it enough.


That's why he hadn't been hanging around Danny so much. Not only that, but they hadn't done anything since they started dating and that was... back in August. They'd been dating nearly half a year and they still hadn't done a thing! Sometimes Danny would even stop their make out sessions. Craig never wanted to seem desperate so he went along with it, although he was a little peeved. Craig chuckled when Oscar took a ginger bread man and let out a tiny scream when Oscar bit the head off. "Ooh nooo dying dying!"


"Hey. Where is the mistletoe for the kitchen?" He said, pointing to the kitchen overhang. They had an open kitchen, but usually only entered in from one side of the counter island since it was easier. Usually only Craig or now Danny was in the kitchen anyways. "So I was thinking, my parents are going away for Christmas to the Caribbean." He put a pad of paper on the counter and took a pen from the cup next to their phone. "So we are on our own for dinner. Danny doesn't really... want to join. So unless you have friends it will just be us. I was thinking of picking up a small ham, potatoes, carrots, I'll make my usual baked mac and cheese and a pie... What kind should I make?" The radio was playing in the background from the kitchen, some soft Christmas music that he was just humming along to for now.


The snow glows white on the mountain tonight


Not a footprint to be seen


A kingdom of isolation,


And it looks like I'm the queen.

​



Craig looked up at Oscar with a menacing grin. He mouthed the words at first and got up. Oscar would probably rather make a run for it than listen to him sing to this song for the hundredth time today. He jumped over the counter and tackled his roommate before he could get away.


"LEt iT Go, LEt It gOOO


Can't Hold it bAck anymore


Let it Go, let it goOOOOOO


TuRn awAy and Slam the dOOor!"
​
 
"No," Oscar said quickly, though his mind answered yes! However, he knew if he didn't stop Craig now, they'd end up with a forest instead of a living room, and they'd probably manage to get stuck in it and have to fend for themselves by living on candy off of the tree and Oscar was probably going to die from christmas-food overload enough as it was. "And well then, Danny is a little bitch, and we can have our own fun, even if we are furthering the social divide," Oscar said pointedly, adjusting his antlers and feeling very swag, smirking as Craig impersonated the poor gingerbread person's dying cries. "The muffin man? The muffin man!" He quoted as he slowly removed one of the gingerbread's candy buttons, because he was a proud loser and addict of children's films.


"Your parents are so fancy," Oscar mumbled, leaning on the counter beside him and watching him write over his shoulder. "And jesus Craig, that's easily enough food to feed a small family. I've put on enough weight from your stupidly amazing baking as it is," he whined, slumping down on the counter and trying not to drool, because Craig always had the ability to make everything sound perfect and delicious. "Just like- don't let me eat it all at once, okay? I know I'm punk santa and everything but. Oh, and mince. Definitely mince. Or apple. Fuuuuuuuuck. I hate this fucking season."


The food reverie meant he let his guard down, and he didn't realise what the hell was happening until it was too late, the first line drifting across to him. Launching himself from the counter, he nearly made it over the sofa before Craig tackled him, singing so very, very badly. "No," Oscar whined through laughter and half-tears, scrambling desperately to try and escape but he was laughing too hard to manage it. "No. Not again, dear god please. Have some fucking mercy. Argh. Help me. I hate you Craig, you malevolent christmas demon." Slumping in defeat, he just scowled at all the insane volumes of christmas decorations until the torture was over, pretty sure Craig was actually getting worse at singing this godforsaken song, despite the practice.


"I have lost all faith in Christmas now," he muttered moodily, his ears still ringing from the screeching. "I'm going to become the grinch and steal all your christmas crap. Or worse, I'll become Danny, and start yelling about the government ploys! Then what will you do, hmm?" His antlers having come off during the tackling, Oscar plucked them up from the ground and pushed them back on. It would be impossible to lose christmas spirit like this however, decked out in a truly ugly christmas sweater, antlers, and even socks covered in snowflakes. Even though he'd piled on eyeliner, gotten another piercing, and was seriously considering another tattoo, he couldn't manage to out-punk the christmas onslaught, especially since his black-eye from his not-gay-fun with Keegan had healed up. Craig's rule was absolute.


"Right," Oscar said with manly decisiveness, shoving Craig off of him and swiftly escaping his reach, swiping his wallet off of the coffee table. Since he'd successfully found a job as a barista - best job in the world, since taking the late shifts meant he got to take home all the left over food (i.e. heaven) - he actually had money nowadays, and was fiercely determined to pull his own weight on the money front, especially since Craig was probably going to end up moving in with the grinch sooner or later. He could totally fend for himself. Yeah. "Let's go buy food, then we are manning the fuck up and going sledging. I'm going to kick your ass, again, and then I'm all for helping you cook. By which I mean standing there and looking pretty, making sure not to touch," Oscar finished, reciting his usual instructions with a sweet smile. "Good plan? Amazing plan. Well done Oscar. Bloody good job old chap. Now hop it, you," Oscar said, nudging Craig's knee with his foot, before vanishing to go and get gloves, because holy shit it was cold outside.
 
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"They said that, since they are going away this year for Christmas, they will try to take us somewhere for Easter." His parents had slowly accepted Oscar as the weird and lazy friend of Craig who wasn't going anywhere. They hadn't liked him at first, but he was a decent person, so they didn't complain. "I have too..." He grumbled a little as he patted his stomach. Craig had quit modeling for Calvin Klein and was doing multiple odd modeling jobs here and there. Danny had helped him find a few local places that were looking for a model for temporary work. That was going well, but he needed to find something permanent. Even Oscar had found himself a job as a barista. Even if Craig had to wait a while, it's not like he would be short on cash since his parents had nothing better to do than spend money on their son. Craig didn't typically act like a spoiled brat, but it was clear he had almost no money sense. "Mince sounds good... but I do love apple... I could make mini pies and do both..." He said that, but knew he'd make pull pies of both instead.


He only sang louder when Oscar whined and cried for him to stop. "The cold never bothered me anyway." He said dramatically at the end and howled in laughter. It was best for Oscar to just accept his singing and his Christmas spirit. Hell, it wasn't even Christmas in particular. It was just the holiday season that he loved. His family wasn't brought up religious, which was probably why his parents didn't mind that their son was gay, but they loved Christmas. "Oooh please don't become Danny, you love my Christmas crap." He seriously hoped Oscar liked his Christmas crap. Someone had to! He followed Oscar into the kitchen. He took the apron off and hung it up. He was also wearing a Christmas sweater, with little reindeer on it. But unlike the punk disaster known as Oscar, he looked cute in it, definitely a little dorky. He had taken a liking to the fake glasses. Or rather, Danny told him he looked good in them so he always wore them. "Okay okay let me get my jacket then..."


Craig scurried off to his room and grabbed his black peacoat from his closet, followed by black gloves and a muffler. Instead of the santa hat (since he did not want it to get dirty) he wore a black hat. Actually, he looked quite suave in his peacoat, but as soon as he took that off or opened it, the Christmas nightmare was revealed. He pulled on his long socks and laced up his boots. "Okay, I'm ready. Let's head out." Compared to the cute Christmas dork from earlier, Craig looked charming in just his black coat and boots. From the hall closet he took out their two sleds and handed one to Oscar. When they headed outside he covered his mouth with the muffler. Man it was cold out! There was so much snow everywhere, which covered the filth of the city. They lived in a nice section of the city, since his parents wouldn't allow him living in squalor.


"Let's not have a repeat of last year." Last year, the bloody snow nightmare. Craig's sled had stopped short on what he thought was a piece of ice but was actually a rock and he tore up one of his legs, leaving a trail of blood down the snowy hill. All the little children had ran and screamed. He chuckled at the memory rather than cringed since he actually had a rather high pain tolerance. He asked Danny if he wanted to go sledding last week when it had freshly snowed, but Danny didn't seem to like the snow either. Lately they hadn't been talking much except on the phone. Although tonight Danny was supposed to come over for at least a little while. Apparently he had a present to give him. Craig had also bought a present, a book, but you probably haven't heard of it so why tell you.


The only person he had left to shop for was the idiot walking next to him. Those shitty walmart movies sounded like a good gift, but he always liked to get him one really nice thing for Christmas. Last year he got away with buying a new TV, saying it was for both of them, which it technically was. This year, he wasn't quite sure. Maybe the new playstation, but he didn't want to wave around his money anymore. He could always just ask him, but he was embarrassed. So, like with everything else, he was going to beat around the bush. "So... have you asked your parents for anything this Christmas? A new game system... maybe a new coat?" They took the subway to the popular park just outside of town. There was a large hill in the back where kids would be sledding, an ice rink next to the playground and there was even a small cafe there where they could eat.


Craig let out a sigh. "I was really hoping Danny could come. I've always wanted to go on a date to the ice rink, then get hot chocolate and walk in the park under all the Christmas lights." He immediately turned to Oscar, not hiding the fact that he now expected that from Oscar. The look he gave him said: Or else.
 
"I think I owe half my life experiences to your parents," Oscar said, shaking his head at how loaded Craig's parents clearly were, and half amused that they'd given up and just accepted him as Craig's pet leech. Maybe he could actually pay for himself this year... if they didn't end up blowing it all on the forest of christmas trees. "You look cute like this. Least I worry less about breaking you," Oscar teased, poking Craig in the stomach, though he could hardly be called fat, just looking a normal weight for once. "I was always paranoid you'd turn into one of those anorexic model horror stories."


"How could I not, when we both look so very sexy in these matching sweaters?" Oscar said flatly in response to Craig's insistence that he like the christmas crap, though he grinned and nudged Craig in the ribs just to remind him that yeah, he did love Craig and his christmas insanity, even if it meant he had to avoid his friends for a month. Since his punk-y clothing wasn't really winter weather proof, Oscar pulled on another one of Craig's shitty sweaters, hiding them from the world with a sufficiently angry looking trench coat, which combined with his black leather boots, either made him look like a punk in hiding, or a Russian killer. Both were better impressions to give than that which the happy festive sweaters would give off.


"Well, didn't someone's mother teach them to wrap up warm," Oscar said, smirking as Craig swanned out bundled up to high heaven and still managing to look swanky as always. It really didn't help Oscar or his crippling infatuation how Craig always looked permanently good, and in the christmas gear and replacement hat, he really did look cute. Oscar almost regretted swiping the mistletoe to burn. Almost.


Holding the sledge between his legs on the subway, Oscar smirked at how many people were gawping at the man next to him, who looked more like he'd come out of a shop's winter wonderland magazine than reality, before addressing the question. "Dunno, I think my dad's still pissed at me for the whole community college thing, but Mum's apparently smuggling me some stuff under the radar." Subtle as Craig was, Oscar knew exactly what he was trying to do here, and had no intention of making it easy for him, especially when he'd already figured out Craig's presents for that year, a fact that let him feel very smug indeed. Normally he was awful at this kind of thing, panicking at the last minute when he couldn't decide between gifts, though more often than not he managed to use in intimate knowledge of Craig to get him something he liked. This year, he'd been surprisingly efficient. Not because he felt like he had to compete with the hipster god or anything. Even if he and Craig had been dating for nearly half a year, and ergo were practically married, and thus he was proving to be serious competition. Such motivations would be petty.


"Hey, I could always kidnap him and hold him at gun point during your date if he refuses," Oscar said cheerfully, before realising that Craig was giving him the look. "Craig..." he said slowly, taking a step back. "Craig, think about what you're asking here. Think about what Danny would say." Think about how the hell my bleeding heart is going to cope. He already knew, however, that there was no getting out of this. Sledging would have to wait, else Craig would end up looking a whole lot more like a Russian killer than he did, what with all the blood that would be on his hands, and Oscar's dead body lying before him.


"You are so lucky I was a dork who thought rollerblading was cool when I was a naive young thang," Oscar muttered to himself, grateful for his younger self's bad life decisions. Being a punk and all, he felt like he ought to have been able to skateboard or something, but that had gone terribly, thus he'd turned to rollerblading, telling himself that counted.


Leaving with sledges with Craig, Oscar went and hired out a pair of ice skating boots for the both of them, chucking Craig a pair before lacing up his own. Everyone else on the ice rink was either under the age of 18, or a nice, normal couple, like a fair young maiden and her manly man helping her skate, all giggles and cliches. Testing his weight on the ice, Oscar's sad childhood existence of dorky rollerblading meant he could balance easily enough, and so he turned to Craig, raising an eyebrow. "Have you done this before, or am I going to be picking you ass up off the ice every seven seconds?"
 
Oscar was zero help. "Oh really?" Craig said with a slight laugh. You idiot. You are doing this on purpose. Now what was he supposed to do? He had to figure it out some other way. Maybe he could try to get him a date. Hell, he could just buy him some visual aid in that case then. No way was he going to go out to get some girl. His very last idea always came out to alcohol. Some fancy wine or something with a high alcohol content.


"S-Shut up... He already ruled you out." Craig said in a snippy tone. It's not like he wanted to ask him such a thing, but Keegan hadn't wanted to lost year, and Oscar was the only one who would even humor him. "Makes me sound like the terrible boyfriend..." Danny had ruled out Oscar long ago anyways, not because Oscar was straight, but because they were so different looks wise. Personality wise they actually fit well together, but Danny didn't think Craig would go for the punk, gothic looking guys. Typically he wouldn't, but Oscar was sort of an exception. The strangest part of his relationship with Danny was that he was constantly comparing Danny to Oscar and most of the time Oscar won. Maybe this wouldn't have been the case if they hadn't kissed. He wondered if Oscar ever thought more on that or hell, even remembered.


"You can skate?" He said surprisingly. Actually he had thought Oscar would be a mess on the ice like him. Craig was surprised when Oscar went to go rent them their skates. No one would take their things, so he leaned them up against one of the benches where they could see it from the ice rink. Now he started to feel a little nervous because he never even set foot on ice before. Craig laced up and cautiously put his foot on the ice. He wobbled like a baby deer, but hadn't fallen yet. "You shut up, y-you!" He was too busy concentrating on not falling on his ass that he couldn't come up with any snippy come backs. "See I haven't fallen yet." Craig mumbled, but he hadn't even started moving. He looked around at the other people skating, from couples who were arm in arm, to friends holding hands as they learned to skate. It looked easy enough, like walking.


Cautiously he took a hand off the wall, but quickly grabbed Oscar's arm when he felt himself wobble. "This is... a lot harder than I thought it would be..." He mumbled as he finally let go of the wall all together. Both hands now clung to Oscar's arm and he let his roommate drag him along. He moved in tiny steps at first, then once he seemed to get the hang of that, he made a long stride like he saw a few couples doing. But instead, he slipped and landed flat on his ass. Upon looking back, they were only about five feet from where they had entered. "Ahh I thought this would be easier!" Craig used Oscar to pull himself up and he followed his foot steps. "You are good at this..."


All those other couples could skate so easily and it looked cute, but Craig could hardly stand up. Even the girl being dragged along by her boyfriend seemed to be able to stand up well enough. Besides, Oscar wouldn't want that. He let go of Oscar and used the wall instead, so he didn't make it look like they were a couple. Wouldn't Oscar be the one inconvenienced if they were seen as a couple? Craig felt terrible for Danny that he was being an awful, unfaithful boyfriend right now. Slowly he was starting to get the hang of it and could sort of move, although he could only move in a straight line which wasn't useful since the ice rink was a large oval. At least it wasn't so crowded that he was forced to move.


The giggly couple skated past them and Craig looked at them with slight envy. Maybe he should have asked Danny again or insisted a little more on this. Craig pushed off from the wall again but only a few strides in, he was flat on his ass again. "Well my brilliant ideas are never that good anyways." He said with a sigh as he tried to push himself up. He was too far from the wall to use it to get up, so he had to rely on Oscar to pull him up. "It looks so easy but it's really actually kind of hard." Craig said, trying to sound optimistic rather than like a downer. "...Can I hold onto your sleeve at least? It won't look too..." Gay.
 
"Ruled me out?" Oscar said with mock offence, which may have been actual offence, but he wasn't going to admit to that now, was he? "Well excuse him. Least I'm not the grinch, nor have I left my adorable, peacoat boyfriend alone in the snow," Oscar said with a grin, grabbing Craig round the shoulders and messing up his hair. He'd been pouting and looking kind of glum, at which point Oscar reminded himself that Danny was Craig's boyfriend, and he wasn't exactly a decent replacement for soul-searching and eye-gazing and all that crap. Not that he didn't want to try being it but, well, home-wrecker wasn't really a title he was looking to win for himself.


Craig on the ice was hilarity itself. Doe-eyed and quaking, he looked petrified as he wobbled around, barely making it five feet before landing on his ass. It remained hilarious until Craig stopped looked so adorably determined, and more put out, staring jealously at a couple that raced past him. Minus one point from Danny's scorecard for causing this. "Craig, I just confessed to having once thought rollerblading was cool. Does it seem to you that I'm worried about looking gay?" Oscar said, quirking an eyebrow and trying to hide a smile at his best friend's behaviour. He wondered if maybe he should just come out and off-handedly say 'oh yeah by the way I've had an epiphany and realised I'm bisexual as hell' but feared that might make things a little bit awkward, and raise way, way too many questions.


"Look, regardless of my sexuality and how its perceived, I don't think I can watch you pout anymore. Here," he said, holding out his hand and carefully guiding Craig away from the wall. "You're standing on your skates wrong. Try and lean your weight on the inside of the blade and then use that to push out when you move. Oh, and bend your knees a little bit instead of being freaking Bambi and skidding around everywhere." Oscar trying to give advice was hardly confident, pretty sure his words weren't making sense and that it was all lies anyway, but if he could do it Craig had to be able to, being the competent one out of them and all. Still, Oscar was pretty sure his ingenious advice alone couldn't fix Craig's wobbling, so he kept a steady hand on him and helped him round.


"There you go, you're getting the hang of it. Kind of," Oscar said, skating backwards cautiously and pulling Craig along with him, trying not to skate into anyone. This probably looked twice as ridiculous as the pair of them on the beach, Oscar in his dumb get-up actually ice skating like a pretty fairy, but fuck it, it was worth it to see Craig try and cope. His incompetence was endearing more than anything else, and why the hell would Danny miss out on the chance to help him learn? Oscar could imagine it if the pair of them were actually dating, he wouldn't have had to keep Craig at arms length and Craig trying to skate was definitely a Craig worthy of a lot of kissing.


When Craig was done with getting his ass smashed into cold hard ice, Oscar played the courier and went and fetched them both a hot chocolate from the cafe. Handing one to Craig, he cupped his own to his chest and cheerfully stuck his face in the rising steam, the heat feeling so damn good. Carrying both the sledges under one arm, he wandered over to the park, blowing on the drink to try and cool it down a little before he scalded his tongue, and thus couldn't appreciate Craig's amazing cooking to its finest.


The christmas lights in the park really were lovely, fairy lights strung up in and between the trees and twinkling in the twilight, and someone had put white paper lanterns by all the benches. Off in the centre of the park, some choir or another was singing carols, just audible as they entered. But wow, if Craig had feared holding his sleeve would feel gay, then this was shitting rainbows and covered in glitter. Not that Oscar minded in the slightest, though his cheeks felt kind of flushed, but that could easily have been the cold. Usually he always had something witty to say around Craig, even if it was just a shitty as hell joke, but he kind of liked the quiet now, testing the hot chocolate and looking up at the lights as they walked.
 
Adorable. He called me adorable, and boyfriend. He called me boyfriend. Craig felt like some love sick fool, grasping at straws, as thin as they were. If Oscar thought it was only his own heart that was being torn in two, he was sorely mistaken. Craig was torn between the fact he already had a boyfriend, and his roommate being the perfect person. He'd been able to tell himself no all this time because Oscar wasn't gay, but he didn't really believe in that anymore. Bisexual, Don'tGiveAFuckSexual, or something else. Stop it stop it stop it. Please worry about being seen as gay. If you worry about it I'll stop. I promise I'll stop. I'll just tease you rather than worry. "But..."


Craig didn't want to leave the wall, but holding onto Oscar was okay. His grip tightened on Oscar's hands as he was pulled too far from the wall to go back to it. He looked down at his feet and tried his best to listen to what Oscar had to say. Otherwise he was rather quiet. He did what he was told, but he was still rather wobbly. "You are skating backwards?" Craig hadn't expected his roommate to really be good at this, just because his roommate wasn't good at many things, such as cooking. Sometimes he realized he didn't give his roommate enough credit.


He looked around them at the other couples who were too lost in their own romantic worlds to notice these two fools. Well, Craig was the obvious fool. He hardly moved his feet and just let Oscar pull him along. At first he felt like a child, being dragged along because he didn't know how to skate, but that frown didn't last long. He smiled a little bit and moved his feet a little as he moved forward and skated along with his friend. That little smile grew and he even laughed a bit. It as obvious on his flushed face that he was enjoying himself, even if he wasn't good at it. He tried his best and in the end, he was doing exactly what he wanted. Having an ice skating date.


A few times he still fell, but he made sure he fell backwards rather than forward but he was still happy and laughing. Maybe if they were dating he wouldn't have minded falling into Oscar a bit, but he wasn't supposed to do that. Hell, this time last year he would have purposely smacked into Oscar, just to make him fall too because they were silly friends, but things were changing. Even without those drunken kisses he knew things were different and he didn't know what caused it.


After the third time falling, he let out a laugh and a sigh. "Okay okay I think it's time to get off the ice." On the way to the exit he fell again and just let Oscar drag him off. While he sat on the bench, he took off his skates and put his normal boots on. "Aah, thank you!" He said cheerfully when he was handed the hot drink. It felt good on his slightly cold hands. Even in the gloves they were a little cold.


There was a long silence between them, but even as they walked he hadn't really noticed it. He expected Oscar to drag him off to the slopes, not that he would have minded, but this walk was nice. He hadn't thought Oscar would take him seriously that he wanted this to be like a date. It was very romantic. He sipped lightly at his drink and smiled as his body warmed up from the stomach out. Craig was in a quiet mood, otherwise he would have been snapping pictures with his phone. This was best left up to memory, he thought. For once they weren't both drunk so they'd remember it. He shifted the drink to one hand and side glanced at Oscar. What if... they were dating? Could he have wrapped his arm around Oscar's and leaned into him? Probably. There were other couples around walking like that. He could have probably sat down on a bench under the twinkling lights and... kissed him. Craig's heart started to race and he looked down at the ground. I'm sorry, Danny. He thought to himself, feeling as though all of this was so wrong, but he couldn't deny it any longer.


He had a crush on his best friend, again, and it was worse than ever.


"Oscar...?" He said, breaking their silence which had started when Oscar first bought him the hot chocolate nearly a half hour ago. "I... think..." Craig stopped walking for a moment and tugged on Oscar's sleeve a bit to stop him as well. "It's just that..." The blush on his face wasn't from the cold anymore. He wondered if Oscar could hear how fast his heart was racing. The model looked up into Oscar's eyes, then down to his lips for a moment. He still remembered what it felt like to kiss him. For a moment Craig looked like he was going to cry as he couldn't get out what he wanted. A few times his mouth opened, but he couldn't get words out. "I don't want to be with Danny anymore... I shouldn't have taken up with him for all these months. Oscar, you are the one I want to be with." Like hell he could say that. He laughed nervously, then gave Oscar a pathetic, playful punch on the arm.


"Come on, let's put those sleds to use! Before we can't see the slopes anymore!" Craig looked away and started walking in the direction of the slopes.
 
"Figured if either of us was going to crash into someone, it might as well be me. Maybe it can be someone cute and I can have a hilarious misadventure movie moment like you and the hipster god," Oscar said with a shrug, pretty sure being good at ice skating wasn't cool. Hmm. He could smell a pun in there somewhere, but he was too distracted by Craig's quiet concentration to make one, working really hard not to grin incase Craig thought he was laughing at him.


Later, when walking in silence next to Craig, Oscar probably looked all deep in thought and ponderous and shit, but the reality was he was trying to determine whether or not this was a date. It felt like a date. It probably looked like a date. Craig had literally described it as a date, intended for Danny to accompany him on. I guess even if Craig does swan off and marry the king of the hipsters, I still got one date in with him. Kind of. More importantly, had it gone well? Glancing over at Craig, Oscar thought he had done alright, but as his best friend came to a halt, holding onto his sleeve, he didn't look happy and bouncy and like he'd just had the best date of his life. He looked... sad? Nervous? He was probably fretting about pissing off Danny with all this to be honest, even if Oscar had been 'ruled out'. Smug hipster bastard.


"What could possibly go wrong with sledging in the dark?" Oscar said, mirroring Craig's uncertain laugh because it had felt like Craig was going to say something serious, but maybe he was reading into things too much, looking for things he wanted to see and all that. Setting aside the infinite angst that seemed to hang around whenever he was with Craig nowadays, probably because the writers of this stupid rom-com movie hated him for being such a disloyal comical sidekick and trying to elbow his way into the romantic lead role, Oscar broke into a run, caught Craig's wrist on the way, and flat out dragged him over to the slopes, not caring about the odd looks they received as they dashed through the park.


"Last one to the top of the hill is-" he tried to think of a threat. He really wanted to yell gay or bisexual, and then dramatically out himself by just standing still and waiting for Craig to run to the top. Somehow though, he figured that particular method of coming out might make him a total shit, thus he refrained. "-is not choosing the film tonight." Even if Danny was coming over, they still had a fucking shedload of crappy christmas films to work their way through, so screw it, they'd watch one regardless of the hipster king's presence. Oscar didn't care if he had to third wheel, this was the only month he was allowed to actually enjoy happy fluffy dumb films for what they were, so there.


In the half light Oscar managed to fall over a good couple of times whilst scrambling up the hill, but eventually he broke over the crest of it, rolling the last couple of metres before slumping face first into the ground. Okay, shitting shit, that was a terrible mistake in that he was now freezing. "I regret everything," he mumbled to himself, chucking the two sledges out on the ground before pulling himself into one, wiping snow off of his damn face and clawing it out of his hair. "Bitch you going down," he said, looking over at Craig and grinning. "Three, two, one..."
 
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"No fair! I will definitely pick the movie!" Good thing Oscar didn't use his outing plan because Craig would be standing right at the bottom of the hill with him. Though, that would be quite the Oscar thing to do, come out via a race. Craig laughed and would have stepped on Oscar when he fell, but he was wearing boots so figured kicking snow on him was good enough. That's what the side kick gets for trying to find love. He put his sled in front of him and got ready to do a head dive when he saw Oscar getting ready and counting off for a race. Yeah. Right. Instead, he put his sled down, got a running start "Yeah yeah 321!!" and slammed hard into Oscar's back, sending the sled flying down the hill while he was screaming like a banshee.


There was no way Oscar could still be chilly while Craig held onto him like this. Hell, he was clinging on for dear life because he had hit him with enough force that they there flying. "DasHing thrOUgh the snOwww!! GeT THE FUCK OuT of OuR WAY~~" He cackled behind Oscar. He couldn't see in front of them and barely looked up. His face was snuggled into the back of Oscar's head. If he died, he didn't want to see what would kill them.


They narrowly missed a large lump of snow and Craig let out a sigh. His relief was short lived because just like last year, the sled hit a nick in the snow and stopped short. Only, the fresh powdered snow was there to cushion their tumble. Not that it still didn't hurt. Craig landed hard on Oscar. He lifted his head and of course, as cliche dictates, he hovered just a hair away from Oscar's lips. He looked down at them again, seriously debating if he should kiss them again. Just do it... you can do it. Explain to Danny later. Now, do it now! "Oscar?" He said softly. He bit his lip and was about to lean in just a hair for a kiss when he felt something bump into them. Their sled.


"Maybe sledding in the dark wasn't a good idea. Come on, tonight I'll make us some gooey mac and cheese for dinner." He stood up and held his hand out for Oscar who looked frozen and ready to go home. They walked back up the hill and he grabbed his sled that was still sitting there at the top. He was still holding onto Oscar's hand, since he was slightly pulling him along as he trudged along. He didn't want to let his friend go and the only justification for holding his hand was obviously to pull him along. Instead of the subway, he figured a taxi was in order, so he walked them back through the walk way of twinkle lights. This time he had slowed a bit and was back to walking along side Oscar. They walked under the strings of lights which made Craig look around in awe. It was bloody cold out though, so they didn't stroll through like some of the couples. He stopped under the arch at the end so he could call a taxi.


"Five minutes they said." He mumbled as he looked around. Craig took a double take as he looked up. "Oh..." Above them, on the arch way, was a mistletoe. If you kiss him, it's cheating, if you kiss him, it's cheating. If he kisses you, that's alright, but you can't kiss back until you break it off with Danny. Craig stood there waiting. He even rolled a bit on his heels. Their hands were still connected but he remembered what Oscar said earlier on the train. The way he stood back. Craig let go of his hand and looked towards the road where a cab was rolling up. Definitely their cab. "...I wouldn't mind..." Craig said honest, red nosed and shivering, but he was still definitely full of the Christmas spirit.
 
Swearing like a drunken irishman, it was all Oscar could do to grip the sledge as hard as possible and try not to fall off as Craig slammed into the back of him and pushed them both off of the brow of the hill, sending them hurtling down into the unknown and almost certain doom. Half laughing, half genuinely screaming like a little kid, Oscar tries his best to nudge the sledge out of harms way but inevitably they hit something and were sent tumbling, thankfully not breaking any limbs.


Oh. They then found themselves in the typical movie position, Craig on top of him, lips inches apart, Oscar trying really hard not to look at Craig's lips and failing miserably. He didn't even care that his head was quite possibly bleeding and his ankle was killing, this was the most comfortable position in the world. More importantly, did this mean he'd been promoted? Because this was a definite movie moment. Or maybe he should probably stop measuring his life by how many movie cliches he could fulfil.


"I am definitely down with that," Oscar said to the promise of food, struggling to keep up as he was dragged along, Craig apparently not aware that his heart was quite possibly stopped or at the very least failing, the rest of him all dazed and flushed. Everything was pretty and Craig was still holding his hand, which Oscar squeezed back gently, trying not to think about how close they'd come to kissing.


Naturally, the harder he tried to avoid the inevitable, the more likely he'd be to endure it. Never mind his homebound efforts, bloody fate dictated that there'd be fucking mistletoe right there under the arch. He kind of expected Craig to cackle and pull him into a purposefully sloppy kiss, or start talking about how he wished Danny was there. Not to quietly say he didn't mind. Well. If you couldn't do it at christmas, when could you do it?


Walking quickly to catch up with Craig, Oscar caught his elbow and then, going swiftly so he couldn't chicken out, he pecked Craig on the cheek, withdrawing just as rapidly. "Cab's here," he said brightly, not like Craig didn't know, but what else could he fucking say. Holding open the door, he got in after Craig and then kept his gaze firmly trained out of the window so that Craig wouldn't realise how stupidly flushes his cheeks were. The cheek didn't mean anything, right? That was the straight cop out, surely. It wouldn't mean he'd made Craig cheat on Danny. The french did it all the time. Yeah. He was just being french.


Trying to convince himself of this for the entire ride home, Oscar let them into their apartment then checked the time to see how long it was till Danny got there. Not long by the looks of it. "I think I definitely won the race up the hill," Oscar said, trying not to sound hysterical as he walked over to the DVD pile and plucked something out at random, way too flustered to actually choose something sensibly. "You know, or this is revenge for you kicking snow on my cold dead corpse, traitor."
 
Good thing his skin was frozen, otherwise his whole body would have collapsed. His insides became mush as he was kissed on the cheek. All he could do was smile as they sat in the cab. Poor Oscar looked so nervous, staring out the side window. Craig was smiling to himself. When they got home the first thing he did was take his boots off and quickly run ahead to the bathroom so he could get towels and lay them at the door. While Oscar went off to pick their movie for the night, he went to his room to change into lounge clothing. Time to get started on dinner.


There was a knock on the door and Danny peeked in. "Holy hell..." Was the first thing he said upon looking at all the decorations.


"Ah! Danny! I'm in the kitchen." He called as he started to grate the cheese for his mac and cheese. "Merry Christmas~"


Danny came in and kissed him on the cheek. "Merry Materialistic government ploy to you too!" He said with a half laugh. He looked around and wasn't quite sure what to say.


"Come on don't be a grinch."


"Okay okay. I can't stay too long, my parents are in town so I am going out with them. I have a present for you though." Apparently Danny hadn't come out to his parents, so they wouldn't have to go through the fun of meeting each other. He had removed his shoes of course, but he didn't even remove his jacket.


"I have something for you too, hold on." Craig went to his room and brought out a skillfully wrapped gold and red present. He nearly dropped it when he saw the tiny ring box on the counter. "O-Oh, Danny!"


Danny just grinned and pushed it closer to him. Craig put down Danny's present on the counter and picked up the ring box.


Inside was a simple silver band, with two hands and a heart on it. Craig never liked huge rings, not that he really wore them anyways.


"It's a promise ring."


"A... promise ring?" Craig's eyes were wide, in shock, but also so much love. He was thinking this was an informal proposal or something.


"It means, we will wait."


"Eh? Wait for what?"


"To have sex, silly." Danny came up to him and hugged him before Danny could even do anything or react. "In three or five years, we can definitely go steady, and for now, this means we will remain pure for each other."


Craig could only imagine Oscar in the living room busting a gut laughing. Three... to five years?! WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING? No way. He was tired of waiting. But he'd definitely look like the asshole if he protested. Danny pulled back and gave Craig a kiss which wasn't really given back, but he didn't seem to notice. He then went for his own gift which was a retro book that is so not mainstream I don't even know what it is. Of course Danny loved it.


"What do you think of all the decorations? Pretty hm?" Craig said, since Danny hadn't really complimented them. From Oscar he expected a compliment at least three times a day. While Oscar got the movie set up he had the radio playing soft Christmas music. When he was only lightly humming or singing softly it wasn't terrible.


"Eh... Come on, I can't really believe you are giving into the big corporations." He muttered upon looking around. Craig wouldn't have been so upset if he hadn't waved his hand to brush it all off.


"Oh yeah? And what's your idea of fun during the holidays?" Craig said back in a snippy tone. This whole lovely day was spent without Danny, so he wasn't exactly happy with the grinch right now.


"Woah no need to get upset." Danny said with a laugh that reminded him a lot of Keegan who constantly thought Craig overreacted about everything. "I think you are going overboard with all this... Christmas stuff."


Uh-oh. "Excuse me?" Craig said, crossing his arms. "I am just trying to have a nice Christmas, spread a little cheer. So far I am having a lot more fun with Oscar." He mentally apologized to Oscar for bringing him into this.


Danny side glanced at Oscar, but looked back at Craig. "Tch, well it's not my fault all your ideas for dates are bad."


"A walk in the park? Ice skating? Sledding?"


"Childish, childish, childish."


"And a fucking promise ring isn't? Like hell I am going to hold out for five years."


"You've held out this long, I don't see the problem with us waiting." Danny raised his eyebrow when Craig didn't say anything. "...You've..."


Craig started to count on his fingers, 1...2...3...6...7...8...9... The look of horror on Danny's face pleased him somewhat.


"I'm leaving. I'll talk to you later. Have a merry fucking corporate disaster." He put his boots on, and then picked up the ring Craig had put back on the table. He slammed the door on his way out. Craig stood in the kitchen awkwardly, then went back to cooking like nothing happened. This wasn't going to ruin his Christmas. It couldn't ruin his Christmas.
 
Grimacing to himself as Danny entered, Oscar tried not to think too much about how he’d gone on a sort of date with his boyfriend and had kissed him on the cheek, though had been inclined to move it three centimetres or so to the left. At least Craig seemed to be in a good mood, off in the kitchen with his Christmas songs and his Christmas everything else. What the hipster god must be thinking now, Oscar could pretty much guess, and in a moment of sadism he smirked. Serves him right for abandoning Craig at bloody Christmas.


Admittedly curious to see what the pair had purchased for each other, since normally a relationship could be gauged by the gifts exchanged, Oscar pretended to be dithering between two DVDs whilst subtly sneaking glances over at the pair in the kitchen. He was grinning to himself about the ninja stealth mission, right up until the point Danny put a small box down on the counter.


Relax, he told his brain, really as a method of self-preservation rather than anything else because it appeared he’d stopped breathing. It’s probably just cufflinks or something fancy like that. Danny is way too hipster to propose to Craig at Christmas. He’d have to do it whilst taking down the tyrannical government or some shit. Probably wouldn’t get him a ring either. Too mainstream. Probably get him engagement glasses or something.


As it turned out, Oscar was wrong. It was a ring. Judging by Craig’s excited exclamation, he was going to say yes too. Well, obviously he was: this was the nicest guy in the world, who cooked breakfast in the mornings after all.


Holy shit. Craig was going to get married.


Looking back down at the DVDs, Oscar was seriously pissed off. Not because Craig was getting married or anything, but because in an attempt to joke his way out of getting too emotional he now had ‘Conceal, don’t feel’ on loop in his head. At least with Craig gone he wouldn’t have to deal with the overexposure to songs from Frozen. Not with all the Christmas crap. Plus, he wouldn’t have to worry that the sofa was now a health and safety hazard. He’d probably even lose weight. Thinking about it, he’d probably do just fine without Craig.


Crap, Oscar mentally muttered, practically punching himself in the eye as he pawed with his knuckles at what had better not be bloody tears. Maybe he could pass them off as happiness tears. Or as a joke, purposefully melodramatic. Or- wait, what the fuck was a Promise Ring?


Learning the answer to that question, he didn’t mean to feel relieved, since Craig was clearly disappointed, but oh thank you God, thank you. True, maybe Craig getting engaged would end all this stupid tension and angst, but it would also involve losing Craig, and Oscar figured the emotional torment was worth keeping him around. Seriously though Danny: What the hell? Did this mean they’d genuinely never…?


Gleefully popping the Frozen disc now, Oscar figured he was relieved enough to tolerate it. They had both agreed that whilst it wasn’t a Christmas movie, Craig had to promise he wouldn’t sing along to the radio for a week if he got to sing along to the film. Plus his singing would probably scare of Danny, if the Christmas decorations hadn’t done that already.


Oscar was so caught up in his evil genius plan that he didn’t realise an argument was breaking out until his good name was dragged into it, wincing. Looking up over the sofa at the other two, he tried to look as innocent and harmless as possible, which was an impressive achievement in full eyeliner and piercings.


Honestly, Oscar didn’t personally care about how many people Craig had banged. He was more curious about the quick skip between 3 and 6. If Craig had ever had an orgy, well, Oscar hadn’t noticed. Hopefully it wasn’t on the poor sofa… Apparently Danny did care, however, storming on out like an asshole.


Craig was disconcertingly quiet. Leaving Frozen on its title page, Oscar padded round the sofa, awkwardly hovering by the counter. “… Do you want to talk about it?” He offered, watching Craig cook. He wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about the argument; after all, he sort of liked Danny, in that he was at least better than Keegan most of the time. On the other hand, he liked Craig a hell of a lot more.


Back in the days when he thought he was 100% straight, he knew what he’d do, because it wouldn’t be weird. The last thing Craig probably needed was weird right now. Whilst it was hardly possible to just flip a switch and go back to thinking he was straight, he could give it a go. Cautious not to trigger whatever tensions Craig had been building up as he seethed silently, Oscar tried to give him a hug, slipping his arms under Craig’s and wrapped them round his torso, tucking his chin over his shoulder. “He’ll come around, Craig. He gave you a promise ring after all, that’s probably his dumb hipster prude version of an engagement ring. You guys probably just need to talk this out or…”Or, you know, we could just hug.
 
When his friend came over, he sighed and leaned back. Just feeling Oscar hug him, and place his chin on his shoulder made him warm up. The fight was annoying, but it didn't drain him as much as he thought. Their fights were never like when he and Keegan used to fight. Those were rather nasty and rough, but he passed his fights with Danny off as bickering. It was normal for couples to bicker right? Even he and Oscar bickered about things. Granted, usually it was about which shitty movie to watch, but they had fought in the past.


He held up a piece of cheese for Oscar to nibble on since he was being so sweet. He leaned his head back on Oscar's shoulder and let out a long sigh again. He didn't want to think about engagement. "Oh god don't even say that word. Engagement? Me? I don't even want to think about that right now." Had he really been that blind? Sure he was excited to see a ring, but he hadn't thought it would be an engagement ring, just something to show they were an actual item now. But an engagement ring was too much. The actual meaning behind the promise ring didn't honestly piss him off, but it was the extra weight to sink his ship. The ship being him and Danny. He wasn't ready to go down with that ship either. Having Oscar hug him made his spirits lift again and he went back to grating the cheese. He turned the burner off when the pasta was finished cooking, but he would have to move a little bit if he wanted to drain them. Craig didn't want to move from Oscar's grasp.


"Oscar, I don't want to move out. I mean... living with someone I love would be nice, but I like it here." Little does he know, the gods had a plan for that, ohoho. "I like having my own space, being able to walk around in my underwear... I guess I haven't gotten to the point of not wearing cover up all the time." He mumbled that last part. Craig went on about the little things he liked and how comfortable it was to be around Oscar and in this apartment. They had their own rooms, a nice bathroom, a wonderful kitchen set up and all their stuff was in order. A little messy sometimes, but in order. It was personalized to them, down to the weed and pizza smell that sometimes lingered. He laughed a little about how he wouldn't be able to decorate for Christmas if he was living with Danny. What it all came down to was, even after six months, he wasn't comfortable spending days upon days with Danny. Oscar... on the other hand, he could put up with. They just somehow worked together.


"I don't want to keep having these little fights during Christmas... should I... end it?" He asked, knowing that even if he was given the perfect answer about how he should or should not break up with Danny, either way it would be difficult. Craig nibbled on a piece of cheese himself, then finally pulled away to finish cooking. This was surprising, actually, since he didn't usually talk about his relationship problems unless it was screaming and yelling and by that point it was too late. Thankfully Oscar understood and comforted him even when he was yelling and screaming. The main reason he would scream was his own shame.


"Oscar... you do really like these decorations right?" He asked, giving his friend a half smile, he ended up laughing. "Actually, I don't care if you like them. I will keep them and you will pretend to like them if you don't." That was the difference between Danny and Oscar. With Danny, he did care if he liked them, even his looks and personality. But with Oscar, he didn't care. Maybe that's what he liked best about their weird relationship. "N-Now go sit. It will be done in a few and I'll come cuddle your lonely ass." Craig melted the cheese into the elbow pasta and added spices and put it into the oven.


While it cooked, he went to the bathroom to get ready for cuddles. Mainly that meant washing his face, of the sweat and dirt from the day. If he really didn't care around Oscar, then he wouldn't have to wear cover up. Maybe next time. He opened the cabinet below the sink and took out his box of make up. It was nothing major and mainly consisted of things he needed for modeling. His tube of BB cream was nearly empty. So... that meant using the rather cheap stuff. It still covered the freckle mess on his face, but it could easily come off if he rubbed his face too hard against Oscar's black sleeve.


The apartment quickly filled with the scent of melted cheeses and spices. Definitely going to get fat. He scooped out two bowls when it was finished and covered the left overs. He then brought them into the living room. "What are we wa-- YAY!" Craig looked over at Oscar with a nasty grin. "Tomorrow I was thinking of making peppermint bark... but I don't know. If someone doesn't sing with me... I don't know what my motivation will be." The devil set the bowls down and sat on the couch snuggled up right close and comfortable with Oscar.
 
"T'ank you," Oscar said, a slice of cheese currently pinched between his teeth. "And-" he said, pausing to eat and swallow the cheese because he liked being able to pronounce words correctly, "I think the point of living with someone you love is that you get to swan around in your underwear. I'm sure hipster king would love it, provided it wasn't, god forbid, branded." Maybe Oscar shouldn't be making fun of the boyfriend in the doghouse, but he was just such an easy target sometimes. "Also, what the hell is cover up?"


Not being rejected for the hug was nice, like, really nice, to the point where Oscar risked sort of just squishing his face into Craig's shoulder who was warm and cooking mac and cheese and ergo perfection itself. He was pretty content just to stay like this, but then Craig started asking his question and Oscar had to hug him tighter to try and figure out what to say. It would be very easy to be selfish and just say yes, tell Craig to go back to being lonely in the hope the somehow he worked up the courage to say something, though even then, that didn't mean Craig would want him if he did come clean. Clearly he wanted Danny, however, since he wore those darn glasses with dedication.


"You guys have been dating nearly half a year, you were bound to argue about something sometime," Oscar mumbled into his shoulder. I guess being a sort of good person will be enough to bear the lonely nights. "You should just talk to him about it, communication and all that. I know he's being an asshole but... " He ran out of motivation to be good. No, he's being an asshole. I like you and your dumb christmas obsession. You should definitely break up with him and come watch stupid movies with me.





If Danny had gone so far as to make Craig doubt his christmas cheer, or whatever he wanted to refer to his manic obsession as, then there was nothing for it: Oscar had to deduct another point from his scorecard. "Your decorations are possibly proof that you're clinically insane," Oscar said with a heavy sigh, before smirking. "But I think you've successfully converted me into loving them too. Just... don't tell Beth I said that. Got a reputation to maintain and all that." Unlocking his arms from around Craig's waist, he shuffled over, rolled over the back of the sofa - which really seemed to be becoming a habit - collapsing into the cushions. That's not all you could- nope, nope he was not going to creepily proposition Craig in his head.


"You know me far, far too well, and you completely abuse it," Oscar whined, because sweet jesus, Peppermint bark. It wasn't like he needed it but hells yes he wanted it. Tugged Craig into him once he'd placed the precious food down on the table, he casually pretended to throttle him before shuffling over into half-cuddling him, cautious not to cross any boundaries because Danny. Damn you Danny. "Fine. But your ears are the ones that are going to pay for it. And-" Oscar said, searching Craig for his phone before retrieving it, switching it off, and setting it down on the table. "No recordings. Ever. After the last time you- you know what, it doesn't matter. Public humiliation and cringe-worthy torture is what Christmas is all about, right?"


As begrudgingly promised, Oscar tried to sing along with Craig, though sing was probably the wrong word. Where Craig sounded like dying cats, he sounded like a seventy year old man with lung cancer, the low rasp so very, very, out of tune. Why did he know all the words to these godforsaken songs? Craig. Why was he doing this to himself? Craig. Craig and peppermint bark. He really needed to learn some self-control to prevent this tragedies from occurring.


He definitely did not end up actually clutching onto Craig when the parents kicked it, and he definitely did not feel at all emotional as the last few lines of 'Do You Want To Build A Snowman?' played out, what with his being the manliest, toughest motherfucker ever to roam the earth. Seizing his bowl, he used it as a cuddle-buddy since Craig was promise-ringed to Danny and everything, figuring that binge-eating food would stop him feeling all girly and shit. It was burningly hot and so fucking amazing, and thankfully the burning sensation on the roof of his mouth provided sufficent distraction from Elsa's sobbing.


Heh. And he'd once thought he was straight.


 
"All my underwear is brand name. My underwear collection is probably more expensive than your entire wardrobe." It did make him slightly upset, to think he wouldn't be able to do that. Danny hadn't yet seen him in underwear, otherwise he'd probably be upset. But, talking to Oscar made him happy again and he didn't get upset at what he said. Though the question of concealer made him snort. "What's concealer? I only wear it every day..." Hell, he wouldn't be surprised if Oscar had never seen him without it before.


"Heh... that's probably going to be my downfall... I can only talk to you about those things you know." He let out a sigh and felt like crying at that thought. All these years he thought he had a habit for finding bad guys, but he wasn't so perfect himself. Anyone should be so happy having a boyfriend who would come over and cook sometimes, cuddle at night, and occasionally go out on coffee shop dates. It wasn't anything over the top, but Craig wouldn't want over the top (unless it came to Christmas of course). Somehow, he wasn't satisfied. He felt he was changing a lot around Danny, acting much different than he normally would at home with Oscar, but that was true wherever he went. He was getting tired of changing for people and now that he was getting older, he knew that changing for someone wasn't the way to go. "I don't know... I'll... try to talk to him I guess." That probably wouldn't go very well.


"I am insane, probably." Craig said with a cheerful laugh. Feeling the warm breath from Oscar's heavy sigh made him shiver and he almost let out a small whimper. He quickly covered his mouth. His neck was stretched out a bit as he leaned the back of his head on Oscar's shoulder once more. If Oscar simply leaned down a bit he could kiss him on the neck probably. What a romantic, yet inappropriate thought. Hell, he was in a relationship, of nearly half a year. "The reputation as what, the walking dead?" Craig joked. "Come on, what will be your next tattoo my bad boy~?" He teased, chuckling at his friend. Living with such a softie who tried to be a bad ass was fun. Craig had the image of a snob but he was quite possibly the most cliche romantic and corny person in existence.


After joining Oscar in the living room, Craig fell into his friend and immediately started laughing and fighting as he was wrestled. Unlike Oscar who was trying to stay just behind the cheater line, Craig clearly had all but his finger tips over it. He poked and prodded at Oscar and even snuggled into his shirt a bit with his nose until he remembered the concealer. "Cheap stuff..." He muttered as he sat on Oscar's lap and rubbed at the collar of his shirt which now had a small, skin colored smudge. He couldn't see where it had rubbed off nor if it revealed any of his dark freckles. Oscar stole his phone so he couldn't check! "What! Nooooo let's record us singing! Hehee I wouldn't call it that. You meant to say wonderful memories right?"


Craig was so happy when Oscar started to sing along and he even got him to do duet parts. He stretched out over Oscar and snuggled into him. "Are you crying?" He took Oscar's bowl away from him and menacingly stared into his eyes. "You're gunna cry. Do it. Cry. Think of how sad it is. Conceal, don't feel, conceal, don't feel!" He squished Oscar's cheeks and pulled at them too. Craig had seen this too many times to cry anymore, although he had sobbed his heart out when he first saw it. Throughout the whole movie he kept teasing his friend, poking at him to see if he was crying. Today he was all squirmy and by the end of the movie he was laying his head on Oscar's lap. For once they weren't even drunk, although he could have made them drinks.


"You know... I am really happy." Craig rolled onto his back so he was looking up at Oscar. Reaching up he poked under his chin. "I know an outing like that should have been for a future girlfriend huh?" There was a small hint of sorrow in his voice, but he was otherwise so very happy. "Thanks for going out with me. You'll be someone's ideal boyfriend, you know that?" Like mine. Why can't... you be my boyfriend? Craig did his best to say that with a smile, but of course he couldn't manage to make it look realistic. He wanted to ask many things, like if he ever remembered that night, or if he had ever considered them before? Even straight, maybe he had thoughts of what it would be like, even a curiosity. He rubbed under his eyes, since he was feeling a little bit tired. The concealer came off on the heels of his hands. "This cheap stuff! I'll go out shopping tomorrow..." He took his phone back and stared at his reflection in the black screen. Dots. Dots everywhere.
 
"Probably a picture of bloody Frozen at this rate," Oscar said sarcastically, since naturally, he already had his next three potential tattoos planned, but even he could tell when Craig was taking the piss out of him. He was more concerned, however, by the weird powder stuff that suddenly appeared on his shirt. "What the hell Craig, why is your face coming off on my shirt?" Either Craig had developed a serious skin condition very rapidly or there was black magic at work here. Looking over at Craig, he realised it had to be the latter, because all of a sudden he had about a bajillion freckles on his face and- wait, were those hickeys?


Who cared about the singing when there was witchcraft at work? Oscar grabbed Craig by the cheeks and turned him towards him, using his thumb to reveal that there was some kind of powder stuck to his face, which, when removed, revealed- "Craig, having been your best friend since forever, how is it that I didn't know you had freckles? That's not the kind of thing people easily miss. I'm the worst best friend ever." Shock aside, he started grinning, caressing Craig's cheek with one hand whilst clutching the other hand over his heart. "Didn't you feel you could tell me? Craig... I know there's a lot of prejudice against people with... well, freckles, but you could have told me. I'd be there for you. I wouldn't judge you, even if it goes against God's wishes and the natural order of the world. It's not your fault. You were just born that way."


Whilst it was great and all having a best friend who knew him well, Oscar seriously regretted it during emotional films, especially bloody disney when he definitely was supposed to be watching it stone cold sober. "Punks never cry," Oscar said with solemn gravity, or as much as he could manage with his cheeks pressed together and his lips doing the octopus face. Fortunately Craig's constant checking to see if he was bawling his eyes out made him laugh too much, and whilst the film wasn't really his kind of thing, he definitely wasn't complaining as Craig cheerfully violated the personal space boundaries. True, he was probably doing it because he was pissed off at Danny for being a massive asshole, but Oscar wasn't really in a position to be choosy.


By the end of the film Oscar was half asleep, lazily stroking Craig's hair as he rested his head in his lap. If Craig did vanish off with Danny, or someone else who wasn't the hipster king, Oscar wondered if there'd ever be someone else like this, someone who put up with his dumb shit and had plenty of his own, and who felt so comfy on his lap. Problem was, it kind of felt like a once in a lifetime gig. Sometimes other people were awesome too, but Craig was... happy.





"I preferred it with you," Oscar said sleepily, pretty sure he might be overstepping here but Craig had his head in his freaking lap. They'd left gay behind long ago. They were entering Disney territory now. Blaming the children's films, Oscar answered Craig's comments a dozen ways with cheesy pickup lines in his head, wearing the grin to accompany them but not daring to actually say any of them, not even someone like you? Accompanied by a wink. "Why do you bother with that stuff?" Oscar asked, prodding at his bestie's face, pulling away more powder. Seeing Craig without the mask made him look a lot less like he'd tumbled out of an airbrushed magazine, a lot more... well, human. They were cute actually, the freckles, though weird seeing them on the face of someone he'd known for so many years without ever witnessing them before. Jesus, how young had Craig been when he'd started wearing the cover-up? "I know I'm hardly one to talk given my stunning eyeliner skills but would you just look at these freckles," he teased, prodding one of them on Craig's nose, grinning. "They're so cuuuute. Even Danny the grump-monster couldn't stay mad at you if you wore these out. They're your new deadliest weapon."


Yawning, Oscar shuffled around on the sofa, temporarily displacing Craig's head so that they could assume their standard cuddle position - their having a standard cuddle position was definitely not gay. No homo made it so. The film combined with Craig's heaven-sent cooking had kind of glued him to the sofa, and even if Craig went to bed he'd probably be stuck there anyway. Hopefully he didn't mind the cuddling though, especially when he was the best blanket around.


Filching Craig's phone off of him, so that he could stop fussing over his freckles, Oscar flipped onto the camera, pulling the octopus face whilst making sure to document photographic evidence that Craig had freckles. "If you do break up with Danny... you know you have me to cry on, right? I even learned how to cook eggs whilst you were off being the hipster queen. Sort of. I mean I didn't die when I ate them so... don't worry so much about it. He likes you too much to break up with you over this anyway."
 
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