Advice/Help Burnout

[dhampir]

Hey everyone,
Having a bit of a very long-standing issue that I could use help with. This is a cycle that has been happening for as long as I've been RPing.

The long-winded history (skip if you want) --
So I've noticed that I've been having quite a bit of burnout lately and am not quite sure what to do about it.

Some unhealthy things I've noticed and the problem at hand is really twofold. Mostly that I'm bad with saying 'no' and that I also hate to disappoint. So I often take things on to please others without thought for myself as well. Friends have noticed this and tried to tell me to just pull back and take a break and so I have. No RP for this month. Instead, I'm using it to discover the root of the issue and to try and tackle it. Which has actually led me here.


For a bit of background, I mostly RP in MMOs. I cannot stand the slow pace of even places like Discord. RP, to me, is about entering a community, getting invested and pulled in. It's the social aspect as much as the creative.

In fact, I'm realizing that it might be *more* that I'm into the social aspect than the actual writing part.
As of currently, I'm a moderator for one of the largest RP spaces for <MMO that I play> and I also run my own space as well.

This is turn makes it so that I'm rather "popular" and sought out. And as warm and cozy as that makes me to know that my character is so popular, I'm also very burnt out and struggle to say 'no'. People can see me playing with my other partners. I've even had to tell people (in general) that I'll not be doing any more 1v1 RP. It will all be group RP because I was burning out so badly.

But even with that rule in place for myself, I struggle to stick with it. I don't remember the last time I really had fun in an RP. God it was probably a year or so ago, now.

In truth, I'm more of an artist and art-lover. I love art, I love to get art of my characters, I love to build things and create things and make things up in my head... and I have considered only doing that, but that's very lonely. I don't know where to socialize with people who are of the same wavelength as I am on that. RP communities have just always been a default go-to that I've always managed to break into but wind up going too hard and then ghosting. And though I've managed to 'break into' this scene and become a leader of a guild and a respected, trusted and trustworthy moderator, I find that I'm on the edge of another desire to break again.
----------------------------------------------------

So the TL; DR --

I'm so tired, but I have RP responsibilities. I value the relationships I've forged here, but I clearly want very different things than everyone else around me who seems to be able to RP for days. At this point, I've considered giving up written RP altogether and going back to what I used to do, which is mostly just make art and design characters, but that's so very lonely in comparison and the loneliness causes me to lose the spark I have for art, which then leads me to this cycle that's been happening for years now:

The Cycle --
-Be lonely
-Find RP community
-Invest heavily in RP community
-Find a HUGE spark!! Of creativity!! Do so much ART and RP!
-Get overwhelmed and burnt out
-Withdraw and Isolate <I am currently here>
-RP partners wonder where I've gone, but I make excuses
-Eventually become Lonely and desire that Spark again.

The cycle repeats.


Can anyone help me?
Am I just not really a RPer?
Can I find other spaces that would give me that spark that revolves more around art and design?
Should I just exist on the outskirts of an RP community as an artist and not invest in such heavy responsibilities?

Disclaimer: Please keep in mind that I'm possibly autistic and ADHD diagnosed. So some things that are 'obvious' answers to others are not so to me.

 

[nerdy tangents]

So I think you might be overcomplicating things a bit. It seems like you want to join an art club essentially.
I don't know if that's a thing you could do IRL or maybe make a thread on here where you can chat with other artists?

Cuz I think what you really are after is just making friends that share your love of art. I would say if you can't do it IRL you might be able to find people on here who like art enough to chat with you about it. It certainly doesn't hurt to try.

 

[dhampir]

So I think you might be overcomplicating things a bit. It seems like you want to join an art club essentially.
I don't know if that's a thing you could do IRL or maybe make a thread on here where you can chat with other artists?

Cuz I think what you really are after is just making friends that share your love of art. I would say if you can't do it IRL you might be able to find people on here who like art enough to chat with you about it. It certainly doesn't hurt to try.

So. The art that I tend to do tends to be more focused on things that do involve some small level of RP (MMOS, D&D, etc) at the very least, and that's probably why I have been attracted to the RP aspects and spaces. It's sad to say, but my art probably isn't terribly valued offline.
Also, I don't really know any other artists in real life. Especially not the cartoony/fun/character-based stuff I prefer to draw. It's mostly popular with my fellow weebs and furries.

All my inspiration to even do art comes from fandom and OCs. There's always that honeymoon period that gives a rush where I do a ton of art.
Without that, I just don't really draw. I need other people for motivation, as sad as that sounds.
I haven't ever been able to find that or replicate that in any art-related space, either.

And for the purpose of understanding, my experiences mainly come from Discord and Twitter. That's where I'm most active. The former far more than the latter.
I've never seen an 'art club' in either of those spaces, unless art-based Discord servers are similar. In which case, I'm part of many. But I just don't click and vibe there.

The best way I can describe it is that other artists feel like islands.
And people in RP spaces feel like a community.

Other artists come by to show you what they've worked on, talk about art tips, talk about things related to art and design. But in the end they usually are rather closed off as their hobby is not as collaborative.
RPers, on the other hand, always seem to want to get to know 'the new guy' and they're completely fascinated when an artist joins the group who takes a whole new spin on a character or species or whatever else when it comes to design aspects. For instance, my viera from FFXIV. I've gotten so many comments and compliments from other RPers about how different he is and how any art done of him that pops up in their feed, they immediately know it's him.

I do confess that that positive reinforcement is what motivates me the most.

I just am sort of at a loss with what to do, really, to get it in a way that's healthier for me.

 

[nerdy tangents]

So I think a good way to think of it is this ;

People who roleplay want to write, they don’t want to make friends.

I’m not saying their going to be rude but if you join a roleplay specifically to make friends then your doing a disservice to others and yourself.

Because the other person isn’t getting what they want, to write a story, and your not getting what you want, to make a new friend.

I think what you need to do is sort of re-evaluate why roleplaying is how you are trying to make friends specifically.

Is it because you feel less pressure? Is it because you think it’s the best way to find people in the fandoms you enjoy? Like what about this particular hobby is giving you a sense of community.

Cuz it can’t be as simple as “well it’s a friendly community” cuz that is usually more of a side effect of the specific people your dealing with and not a hobby in general.

 

[Solivagante]

All my inspiration to even do art comes from fandom and OCs. There's always that honeymoon period that gives a rush where I do a ton of art.
Without that, I just don't really draw. I need other people for motivation, as sad as that sounds.

Oof. Substitute writing for art and I've been here. Exactly here. It's a big part of why I joined this site, actually, to get that good good feedback loop of validation and start writing again.

So, alright. Disclaimer, I'm not a therapist by any means, just someone who's spent some time talking to them and to other people, especially neurodivergent folks, who have to figure stuff like this out.

I think the core of what's going on here - which you've already identified - is the desire for validation. I say this as someone who 100% RPs for validation, so no judgement - hell, it's a key motivator for me in my day job too! Humans want to feel validated and appreciated and, as you've also touched on, like they're part of a community. It's very easy, especially when you're not NT, for this to spiral into people-pleasing and overextending yourself because you feel like you have to be EVERYTHING for EVERYONE ALL THE TIME and then you burn out.

For you, RP gives you a context in which you know your art will be appreciated/enjoyed/validated, and also therefore one in which you are being appreciated/enjoyed/validated. Again, I have to underscore the fact that nothing about this is inherently bad, until it starts hurting you the way it is now.

The difficult thing: there's no solution to this problem which is 100% guaranteed. There are things that will help, but they may depend on the actions of other people, and you can't control that. Here are some thoughts, in no particular order:

• If you have the opportunity and resources to, get a pet. If you have a pet, spend focused time with them. I find that, while the unconditional love of an animal doesn't make up for my desire for human attention/validation, it absolutely gives me a stronger baseline of emotional security. If I'm alone at home feeling line nobody wants to spend time with me, no I'm not - the cat wants to snuggle, and I can focus on her for a little bit and feel better about the world.
• I know this sounds counterproductive but make something physical. Baking works for me. Get away from the online space, do something which puts you firmly in physical space and gives you something you can look at, touch, and maybe eat afterwards. Making a physical object (especially food) is its own form of validation. It will also pull you out of any thought loops you've been caught in and give your brain more time to really process problems or interactions you need to process, the same way showering can help with clearing up thought processes. Try this super simple bread recipe (the only measurement you need is 'mug'!) if you don't know what to make.
• Remember that people who like you do not want you to hurt. Your friends would rather you set boundaries and say 'hey, I'm gonna take some time off' or 'can we pause this RP for a while' than realize after the fact that what they thought was fun for everyone actually sucked for you. Boundaries are good not just for you but for people around you, because it helps them know how to be kind to you.
• As someone who is primarily a writer, please also know that we look at visual artists like children look at an ice cream truck. Artists are AMAZING and I checked out your art - it kicks ass! If you take a break from RP and just draw people's OCs, or just your OC in situations, I bet people will still enjoy it and be engaged with it! You don't need to do the WHOLE SHEBANG (RP, moderating, and art) all at once. You can do a little of each, or focus on one thing and take steps back from others.

One other thing which I've seen a lot on Tumblr, especially in the Dragon Age fandom, is art trades. If there are other artists in your primary fandom, you might ask if you could draw their OCs - a lot of people will get really excited about it, because it means you're interested in their character! I would suggest not necessarily starting out offering this as a 'trade', but just an expression of your interest to open the door. That might help with finding people who share your interests and your art-focused perspective, and with building relationships where you get to goof off about your OCs together without the pressure of it being a whole RP.

 

[dhampir]

I think what you need to do is sort of re-evaluate why roleplaying is how you are trying to make friends specifically.

Is it because you feel less pressure? Is it because you think it’s the best way to find people in the fandoms you enjoy? Like what about this particular hobby is giving you a sense of community.

I definitely don't want to disappoint people or do them a disservice! In fact, I think that's a big big cause of my burnout.
As for your questions, I think it's the comfort of the familiar, to be brutally honest with myself. When I actually roleplayed, most of it was very short form and extremely casual. It was easy to do because it was practically RPing myself, but with a mask and the anonymity of the internet. Through it, I could be anyone that I wanted and, before realizing that I was trans, RP of that nature was my whole world. (I was very young). But I used to do it all the time and, when I wasn't writing online with others, I was fantasizing about it. But was it ever really about the stories... or was I just lonely?

It just stayed familiar, and therefore comfortable, and so I tried to stick with it and called myself a RPer even as I struggled.
Hell, to this day, I still do call myself a RPer and I do roleplay! Like I said, I am a moderator of a very large community of around 1k people for a series of venues that see hundreds RPing within them any given week on my MMO of choice. I'm quite immersed in it and facilitate it very often!

However, I'm taking an extended break at the moment specifically to entire re-evaluate things.
To ask myself -- what really makes me happy (or would)?
Would it be something more casual like I used to do?
Am I just burnt out and needing a break?
Should I focus on one thing over another?

I just know that also have the pressure of feeling that I have to get it right, because walking away in any capacity will close doors, some big and some small, and some that I can never open again.
That's really scary for me.

<snipped!>

• If you have the opportunity and resources to, get a pet.
• I know this sounds counterproductive but make something physical.
• Remember that people who like you do not want you to hurt.
• As someone who is primarily a writer, please also know that we look at visual artists like children look at an ice cream truck.

One other thing which I've seen a lot on Tumblr, especially in the Dragon Age fandom, is art trades. If there are other artists in your primary fandom, you might ask if you could draw their OCs - a lot of people will get really excited about it, because it means you're interested in their character! I would suggest not necessarily starting out offering this as a 'trade', but just an expression of your interest to open the door. That might help with finding people who share your interests and your art-focused perspective, and with building relationships where you get to goof off about your OCs together without the pressure of it being a whole RP.

Though I clipped out the first part, I want to say that the initial part of your post especially helped me identify quite a few things, so I really appreciate it! You're 1000% spot on. I think I do many things for validation, thinking about it now, and even things that don't bring me joy I do them because I want to please the people that I care for.
You nailed it eerily well, and especially the part where I try to people please, and do it with a smile, until I'm just exhausted. What sucks is that I also get validation from that, too. I feel that's something I need to work on.

As for the suggestions, I really appreciate them!
- I have a cat, but she is not snuggly at all. She's very independent and sadly I cannot take in another animal at this time. No animal comfort for me sadly.
- That's such a cool recipe and I'll have to try it! I've actually been doing that a bit more lately. I fell into HelloFresh and it made me realize that I do like cooking. So when I have the spoons I do bake cookies or brownies or I cook whole meals for the week/meal prep! On the flip side, I have been wanting to try my hand at art dolls for a while... ones like these! Kaypea has tons of tutorials on YT and is such a huge inspiration.
- This is definitely something that I struggle to remember. I'll try my best to remember that my (actual) friends want to see me happy and that they won't stop being my friends just because I stopped giving them what they want all the time, if it's to my detriment. Sadly, I've had people do that who I thought were my friends up until I had to put up a boundary of some sort.
I know that real friends won't do it, but I take people who I still care about walking away very hard. I always overthink and wonder if I did the wrong thing.
- This is such a sweet analogy and thank you so much for being so kind to say so! This is honestly a very good set of ideas and I may need to take them to heart. I may desire to take a step back.. though I know (like I said above) I do so with caution as choices made, even small ones, can cause doors to close forever.



Going back to the 'comfort' thing that I also mentioned above... I think that I am not used to interacting with other artists, strange as it sounds. I know how to talk to RPers about things and give gifts, but I'm super scared to do it with other artists.
Actually, this month is ArtFight and I've wanted so badly to participate more (I think I did one art attack two years ago lmao) but man, it gives me The Anxiety.

I will try, though! And I will consider all of these things.



Thank you both for your replies! Sincerely.

 

[Idea]

Well, considering the end of that last response your course seems to have been set, but I do have a couple more suggestions based on what I've read here, the first and main of which is to try to find a more inherently limited community. You mentioned D&D for instance, and that's a great example, as generally speaking nobody really expects you to be in more than a group or two. Further, unlike an MMO, discord roleplaying or even to a lesser extent forum roleplaying (though D&D can be done in the later two, but I'm talking more general RPing servers for instance) your roleplaying happens entirely within the group you're committing to at first, meaning you won't be creating people to seek you out only to be disappointed by the rejection. Instead you can build rapport with the group which, once again, you've already committed to RPing with. As such even if someone does ask if you'd like to join, it's you as "one more member" rather than you specifically. Being replaceable doesn't have the nicest ring to it, but at least you'll minimize any disappointment or inconvenience, which should make it easier to say 'no'.

Another thing I can't help but think is that writing doesn't seem to be a specific interest of yours but you do enjoy RPing. Voice RPing or even video or in-person RPing are a thing too, and while I know not everyone is comfortable with those, I want to at least raise the idea that it might fit best for you, as at least in terms of effort it's easier to speak things than it is to write them. It might fit better with your style of RPing as well help you become overwhelmed less easily. Also, while I don't think it would have that same advantage, there are talks even here on the forums of art-based RPs.

Of course, all of this has limited application when it comes to preserving your current roleplays and relationships. If they've already gotten to the volume where they are overwhelming because of that volume, then I think honestly there might be no helping having to cut some of those RPs, and hopefully preserving the relationships in amicable terms. If they haven't and the surrounding environment is more the issue then well, there are the wonderful suggestions by the other people who commented on this thread to look to. I know strategies to reduce the effort of writing certain kinds of posts, but seeing as you find even discord too slow-paced I'm not sure they are applicable. Maybe it would help to simply be upfront about these feelings and the state of mind you're going in. Avoid making excuse if you can at all, and just explain that you are feeling overwhelmed and you're not sure what to do because you don't want to disappoint people but you're just one person. Who knows.

I wish you the best of luck in resolving these matters!

 

[Solivagante]

Going back to the 'comfort' thing that I also mentioned above... I think that I am not used to interacting with other artists, strange as it sounds. I know how to talk to RPers about things and give gifts, but I'm super scared to do it with other artists.
Actually, this month is ArtFight and I've wanted so badly to participate more (I think I did one art attack two years ago lmao) but man, it gives me The Anxiety.

Not familiar with ArtFight but it sounds like something you should 100% go for!

I was thinking about this post earlier today and it occurred to me - you mentioned that you've got an ADHD diagnosis; have you read up on rejection-sensitive dysphoria? (ADDitude is a great resource in general btw, and more geared towards actual adults with ADHD rather than being all about parenting.)

I know for me, this is a HUGE part of my anxiety in a lot of settings - including, when I was in my early 20s, things like going to the grocery store! And honestly I haven't found a good strategy to deal with it other than knowing what it is and how to recognize it and then just... repeatedly telling myself that the anxiety is my brain being a stupid motherfucker. That does help to a degree, though, and I think a lot of dealing with ADHD stuff is about noticing the patterns and not letting them sweep you away.

The comment you made about playing as yourself but with a mask/anonymity also stuck out to me, because honestly I think it's one of the great things about the internet. You can be ephemeral, if you want. You can set up a whole new account somewhere with a new-to-you username and try stuff out - if you want to try a different form of RP, if you just wanna chat with folks, etc. It's okay to just try something and walk away if you don't like it. [insert Tumblr skeleton meme here]

Extrapolating from my own experience but I'm guessing having a hard time with that is also an ADHD thing, because lord knows I systematically turn EVERY. SINGLE. HOBBY. into something with a to-do list. I don't have any definite suggestions for how to not do that, just that I think it's a good thing to be reminded of, sometimes, that not everything needs to be finished. Sometimes just doing the thing for a little while helps a lot.

(Also, I'm sorry to hear that your kitty is not a snuggler. I have no doubt she still loves you in her own way, and probably part of that is because you respect her boundaries.)

 

[dhampir]

Well, considering the end of that last response your course seems to have been set, but I do have a couple more suggestions based on what I've read here, the first and main of which is to try to find a more inherently limited community. You mentioned D&D for instance, and that's a great example, as generally speaking nobody really expects you to be in more than a group or two. Further, unlike an MMO, discord roleplaying or even to a lesser extent forum roleplaying (though D&D can be done in the later two, but I'm talking more general RPing servers for instance) your roleplaying happens entirely within the group you're committing to at first, meaning you won't be creating people to seek you out only to be disappointed by the rejection. Instead you can build rapport with the group which, once again, you've already committed to RPing with. As such even if someone does ask if you'd like to join, it's you as "one more member" rather than you specifically. Being replaceable doesn't have the nicest ring to it, but at least you'll minimize any disappointment or inconvenience, which should make it easier to say 'no'.

Another thing I can't help but think is that writing doesn't seem to be a specific interest of yours but you do enjoy RPing. Voice RPing or even video or in-person RPing are a thing too, and while I know not everyone is comfortable with those, I want to at least raise the idea that it might fit best for you, as at least in terms of effort it's easier to speak things than it is to write them. It might fit better with your style of RPing as well help you become overwhelmed less easily. Also, while I don't think it would have that same advantage, there are talks even here on the forums of art-based RPs.

Of course, all of this has limited application when it comes to preserving your current roleplays and relationships. If they've already gotten to the volume where they are overwhelming because of that volume, then I think honestly there might be no helping having to cut some of those RPs, and hopefully preserving the relationships in amicable terms. If they haven't and the surrounding environment is more the issue then well, there are the wonderful suggestions by the other people who commented on this thread to look to. I know strategies to reduce the effort of writing certain kinds of posts, but seeing as you find even discord too slow-paced I'm not sure they are applicable. Maybe it would help to simply be upfront about these feelings and the state of mind you're going in. Avoid making excuse if you can at all, and just explain that you are feeling overwhelmed and you're not sure what to do because you don't want to disappoint people but you're just one person. Who knows.

I wish you the best of luck in resolving these matters!

Hey there! Thanks for the reply. I definitely don't mind suggestions on different things to try and to seek out!
One of the big reasons that I actually RP in MMOs is because I generally like the MMO first and RP comes second to wanting to find a social group that is both invested in the game itself and usually its art, story, etc in ways that most people who may also play the game don't really think or care about. I could certainly join a social 'guild' in these games that is basically just a spam-invite group and be met with a very large community, but it doesn't appeal to me in the same way. Names and people come and go, but in RP communities in MMOs people generally stick things out and play together regardless.

I've tried to get back into D&D, but I really like the larger community 'feel' when it comes to roleplay in MMOs vs tabletop. Like you said, there are far fewer people in D&D groups by design, but it leads to a feeling (for me) of isolation. In a larger community like an MMO, I have the option to go out and play and find things and people and characters even when the group isn't online/running. That's part of the appeal for me is a 'it's there when I want it' sort of thing.

It's true, though. I'm not huge on writing. I might consider voice RP, though I've never done it! I've never even heard of 'art rp'. That's honestly fascinating and I might be interested.

As for what I will be doing with my own current RPs, I've slowly been cutting back to less and less personal stuff. I found that the smaller 1x1 rp was what really drained me the most. I just feel incredibly bored by it and, sadly, a lot of people really desire that. It has gotten to the point that I just say 'no more 1x1' unless there is an absolute need for that privacy that is story-based. And even then, I have started putting hard limits on it (limit of 1 to 3 hours at absolute most) for my own mental health's sake. So at least people are very much aware and have been trying to work with me through this! I greatly value the friendships I've made regardless if we stay RP partners or not!

 

[dhampir]

Not familiar with ArtFight but it sounds like something you should 100% go for!

I was thinking about this post earlier today and it occurred to me - you mentioned that you've got an ADHD diagnosis; have you read up on rejection-sensitive dysphoria? (ADDitude is a great resource in general btw, and more geared towards actual adults with ADHD rather than being all about parenting.)

I know for me, this is a HUGE part of my anxiety in a lot of settings - including, when I was in my early 20s, things like going to the grocery store! And honestly I haven't found a good strategy to deal with it other than knowing what it is and how to recognize it and then just... repeatedly telling myself that the anxiety is my brain being a stupid motherfucker. That does help to a degree, though, and I think a lot of dealing with ADHD stuff is about noticing the patterns and not letting them sweep you away.

The comment you made about playing as yourself but with a mask/anonymity also stuck out to me, because honestly I think it's one of the great things about the internet. You can be ephemeral, if you want. You can set up a whole new account somewhere with a new-to-you username and try stuff out - if you want to try a different form of RP, if you just wanna chat with folks, etc. It's okay to just try something and walk away if you don't like it. [insert Tumblr skeleton meme here]

Extrapolating from my own experience but I'm guessing having a hard time with that is also an ADHD thing, because lord knows I systematically turn EVERY. SINGLE. HOBBY. into something with a to-do list. I don't have any definite suggestions for how to not do that, just that I think it's a good thing to be reminded of, sometimes, that not everything needs to be finished. Sometimes just doing the thing for a little while helps a lot.

(Also, I'm sorry to hear that your kitty is not a snuggler. I have no doubt she still loves you in her own way, and probably part of that is because you respect her boundaries.)

I have never heard of that resource before! I really appreciate you mentioning it. That could explain a lot, to be honest, about why I do the things that I do. I know that I am very sensitive to rejection in general. I didn't realize that was a part of ADHD. I was diagnosed as a child, put on meds, and then pulled off when my parents went on their full 'anti healthcare' kick. Long story, but I'm working with a therapist now that I see every other Monday for things related to exploring things just like this, so I'll read through and mention it to him as well. Thank you so much!

All that you say here sounds very familiar! And yes, I've done exactly that before. I used to bounce around usernames and 'personas' and give them all a try. I stuck to what worked and abandoned what didn't, etc. And yes, I absolutely am awful with everything having to be itemized, checked off, structured, etc. Some people have mentioned I might be co-morbid with OCD, but I don't have anything diagnosed there. Or maybe it's still an ADHD thing. Who knows! I do feel a lot better when I can *stop* doing those things and just *be*. But man, it's a really hard habit to break.

And sadly, kitty is not a snuggler. But I do respect her boundaries and give her lots of places to comfortably 'hang out' with me. She has her own chair that she likes to sit in to watch me on the computer and she crawls into bed and sleeps near me, just not snuggled up to me. I do sometimes wish she was more cuddly, but I love her as she is regardless!

 

[Kloudy]

I'm not an expert or professional or anything, but this all really sounds like classic ADHD stuff to me. I've been diagnosed myself and I totally get what you mean.

It might not be that you want different things from your partners and groups, but more that you operate at a different pace to match the expectations of others. You might find slower-paced groups/individuals will be more accommodating and less stress-inducing to work with. I tend to have a couple slow-groups running so I can bounce between em and not get bored.

The rejection-sensitivity part is also a big one for us. It'd be easy for me to say you should just try to convince yourself that it's not you, it's them, but enough of that will cause social burnout anyway.

If you'd like a space to talk at greater length about these specific issues, I've actually got a mini-blog going where other ADHDers can share their experiences. I'm sure with our powers combined we can all feel a bit better about ourselves. ️

 

[dhampir]

I'm not an expert or professional or anything, but this all really sounds like classic ADHD stuff to me. I've been diagnosed myself and I totally get what you mean.

It might not be that you want different things from your partners and groups, but more that you operate at a different pace to match the expectations of others. You might find slower-paced groups/individuals will be more accommodating and less stress-inducing to work with. I tend to have a couple slow-groups running so I can bounce between em and not get bored.

The rejection-sensitivity part is also a big one for us. It'd be easy for me to say you should just try to convince yourself that it's not you, it's them, but enough of that will cause social burnout anyway.

If you'd like a space to talk at greater length about these specific issues, I've actually got a mini-blog going where other ADHDers can share their experiences. I'm sure with our powers combined we can all feel a bit better about ourselves. ️

Hey there! Thanks for the reply and sorry for the delayed response.

This very well could be the case. I've tried to take a step back entirely from the RP community before but always wind up falling back into it. I think I enjoy RP a lot, but I get very burnt out very quickly and need to more accurately and honestly communicate that I just don't have it in me to stay so focused on one thing for too long. For some weird reason I can usually do it with art, but with writing, I get super burnt out.

I also always try to find myself seeking leadership positions in the RP community, too. It's something to strive for and a way to make a difference and a positive impact, but it does leave me exhausted by the end.
I appreciate the invite! I'd be glad to pop by there