Ineptitude
One Thousand Club
thatguyinthestore @ExploringIsFun
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And 'that' was what Red Riding Hood had conveniently arrived at the scene to - leaping off the bike which would be aimed at Lobo, the rightful owner, and landing to 'digest' what had just happened. For one - O'Malley had ran off! He probably fled to a new host if that was in his realm of capabilities - and not only would everyone soon find out it was true, it 'is' true. "Son of a-! We had him, too!" Red Riding Hood did 'not' sound happy, voicing her stress and mild frustration to the A.I which is now not here. "Eugh... Right, who do I need to scold for this one...?" She thought aloud and glancing over to the source of the explosion - the caster, Megumin. She was 'about' to approach, but moments later, everyone's consciousnesses would be taken out of Caboose's mind via Sarge's influence, or whatever he did, and they were back in their bodies. Powers and weapons they had were once more taken from them, but they have their bodies back. Red Riding Hood groaned as she rose up, shaking her head in dizziness and immediate confusion. "Eugh, now I know why you keep it a secret - that was one hell of a trip." She quipped to Sarge right away.Lobo had stayed behind to watch the explosion go down. After all, The Main Man wasn't the easiest to kill. However he remembered one teensy tiny insignificant detail. If Caboose's brain kicked the bucket they all did as well.
"Stupid fraggin' wizard geeks and their fraggin' magic."
It appeared as though he wouldn't get to enjoy watching the mass destruction, he'd have to stop it himself. He wasn't known as The Main Man for nothing.
"When I get my hands on that kid I'm gonna cram her inside her damn wizard hat!" He swore as he stormed towards the massive explosion confidently. This wasn't something he usually got to do. The closer he got to the explosion the hotter it got. But upon being right in front of it he wrapped his arms around it. Straining to bear hug it but slowly squeezing it, at the cost of his arm hair. Slowly but surely he got it to cave until all that was left of the once deadly blast was a glowing ball the size of a gumdrop, which Lobo promptly tossed into his mouth and ate like a piece of popcorn.
"Huh, spicy."
He belched smoke. He'd deal with the regrets later. For now his job was done… His only thoughts now being on getting a damn bonus for his heroics.
However, with the explosion out of the way, that still left O’Malley, who seemed to be… less than keen on fighting after the explosion. He simply glared at all of you from behind his helmet, unmoving and deadly silent.
“It’s over, O’Malley!” Tex exclaimed as she ran over to him, holding her pistol in the air, aiming directly at his forehead. Those words were just enough to coax a little response out of the A.I.
“OHHH HOHOHOHOHOHOOO! SO YOU THINK, AGENT TEXAS!” O’Malley exclaimed, and within seconds, he had disappeared entirely.
“NO! SHIT!” Tex shouted as she charged forward, reaching out to grab O’Malley… but it was too late. He had disappeared out of thin air, just like that.
Red Riding Hood just listened to all of this carry out and she was losing her will to live. It was true that the Blue Team had failed, and they did lead it, but as said, there was the Red Team in there too. Sarge's incompetence and gloating was starting to get to her, and as she notices that Doc is missing, she would reluctantly follow Sarge, sporting a troubled frown on her face which she tried to hide via her hood and just looked around idly during the travel. Until, when they were almost there at the base, everyone heading 'to' the Red Base would find themselves in for a surprise... "What the... What is that noise?" She would say in time with Grif, and then turn to the source and find this flying machine come on by.After a few moments of nothing, you all began to disappear from Caboose’s mind one by one. Eventually, all of you were gone, and had reawoken in your respective bodies.
“So… you Blues failed to get that sonuvabitch out!” Sarge shouted triumphantly, being the first one to speak as you reawoke in Blood Gulch. Oh, and you no longer had your powers or original weapons. “HAH! I knew that you Blues couldn’t get the job done!”
“There were fucking Reds in there too, asshole!” Tucker retorted.
“Yes… but it was an expedition led by Blues! Which no doubt was what resulted in your imminent and swift defeat!” Sarge gloated further. It took a few moments, but he eventually subsided in his bragging, and then motioned for the other Reds to join him. No matter how reluctant you may have been, those of you on the Red Team followed them back to Red Base, while those of you on Blue Team remained at your own base. After all, with O’Malley now gone, it seemed like all you could do was wait. A few of you may have noticed, however, that Doc was no longer there…
Red Riding Hood would gasp in surprise as the ship would loop around, and not thinking her weapons would be enough to even handle that which she is unfamiliar with - technology is scary as hell - she opted not to ready her weapon and instead hid. And when the firing ceased, the Blue Team had all came out to address the situation. Red Riding Hood spoke of nothing. She literally did not know anymore. And as soon as the situation settled, the ship returned 'again' and a total of 6 corpses would appear before them - one by one, they bit the dust. Red Riding Hood stared on in fear as O'Malley would reveal himself to be still alive, and hosting inside the most peaceful person that they had met... The Doc himself.As you lovely folks on Red Team were heading back on over to the Red Base, you begin to hear what could only be described as a mechanical whirr of sorts. You didn’t know what to do, and neither did the original Reds, who stood there as dumbfounded as you.
“The fuck is that noise?” Grif asked, basically reiterating what you already might have been thinking. Simmons, Sarge and Donut didn’t appear to know either, until suddenly…
A strange purple ship of some sort flew right by you! You didn’t know what it was, but one could guess that perhaps it was a Blue Team member trying to perform a sneak attack of sorts on you. Sarge, of course, was one of those people to make such an assumption.
“The Blues have orchestrated a secret attack on us! Men, draw yer weapons!” The southern commander exclaimed as he pulled out his assault rifle and took aim, while Simmons and Donut did as well. The ship flew back around, and just like Sarge had suggested, it began firing rapidly at all of you!
“TAKE COVER!!!”
You all, luckily, managed to do so, and by the time you had recovered from your various points of cover… the mysterious ship was gone. It was around this time that Blue Team (and of course those of you who were on it) began to storm out of the Blue Base to see what was wrong.
“The fuck was that shooting? Didn’t you assholes JUST leave the base?” Tucker asked as he jogged out, rifle in hand. The rest of the Blues were behind him, of course, including Ghost Tex and Ghost Church.
“It was a damn sneaky ninja attack from you dirty Blues!” Sarge shouted as he held his shotgun up, aiming it at Tucker’s head. Tucker held up his rifle in response, which then led to Simmons aiming at Tucker, which then led to Michael aiming at Simmons, and then before long you were all kind of at a standoff probably. Though I mean… it’s not like you were totally, a few of you probably didn’t raise your guns. Like All Might. Just food for thought.
An intensive feeling of dread caved its way into Red Riding Hood's senses, as death met her eyes along with everyone else's. "W...Why...?" She said in a strangled tone - one strangled in stress, in grief and fear - all at once. She looked on longer and noted that it was time for 'another' mission... "Oh for the love of... Really?" She snapped right then and there. "We could have all literally just 'died' in there, we get back into the real world, and 'this' is what we get?! What is... wrong with you?!" She lashed out at Sarge, and as he and the others went through the portal, she groaned and reluctantly followed along. And upon arrival, it looked... comparable to Blood Gulch, in a way. Red Riding Hood stared in confusion immediately.Anyhow, the situation was close enough to a standoff to warrant such a tense moment. Reds and Blues, standing face to face, guns aimed, and then suddenly…
“MWWWWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”
VROOM!!
“SON OF A BIIIIIIITCH!!!”
Bang bang bang bang bang bang.
Just like that, before your eyes and ears, the ghost ship appeared once more, hitting Tucker. The stray bullets managed to strike Akechi Touma, Saiki Kusuo, Jun Hyuga, Seiryo Teshigahara, Delta, and Gabrielle Akimoto, killing each of them rather quickly. Tucker flew up into the air and flailed wildly, before landing face first on the ground with a thud. You all looked up and saw that same purple ship flying back towards Red Base. And… you could have sworn that was O’Malley’s laugh. But wait… then that would mean...
“YES! FOOLS! IT IS I, THE HARBINGER OF DEATH… O’MALLEY!!!”
“And me too!”
Atop the Blue Base stood none other than Doc, who was holding… a bazooka.
“Doc? How the fuck did you get up there so fast… and why are you holding a fucking bazooka?” Church asked as he ran in front of you all, despite being a ghost who could probably just fly.
“I ran track in high school! It was the least competitive sport I could find!” Doc shouted from atop the rooftop gleefully, seeming to be proud despite the fact that he had just critically injured someone.
"Track sucks!" Grif retorted from the back.
“YOU SUCK!!” O’Malley shouted in response. “Now that I have taken over this being’s body, I will rule the universe! But you will never find me, because I am JUST. TOO. EVIL!!! MWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”
“Wait…” Sarge muttered as he began to look around. He frantically darted his head from side to side, looking for something. “..Lopez! Where is Lopez!?”
“Oh… you mean THIS!?” O’Malley/Doc asked as they lifted up Lopez’s severed head.
“No me rescates Prefiero esto.
(Do not rescue me. I prefer this.)”
“Anyways… we need to work together on this one, Sarge.” Church insisted. Once more, Sarge had fallen silent, before finally speaking once more.
“...Fine! But only to get Lopez back for reasons that will not be disclosed, as I do not have to share them with you, dirty Blue!” Sarge retorted, finally seeming to regain that usual hard-ass pep in his step. “Red Team! Follow me into that portal, which could very well lead to our untimely, collective demise!” Sarge shouted with vigor in his voice.
“Do we not get a say so in this? Or like a vote?” Grif asked despite the fact that he was jogging forward alongside the rest of you.
“Nope!” Sarge shouted as he entered the portal, as did the rest of Red Team, leaving Blue Team and Solo Team to be the only ones left on Blood Gulch.
Wanting to distance herself from everyone else to not only calm down, but go about things herself, Red Riding Hood opted to head off by herself to explore elsewhere. Every step would keep her heart beating and racing as all of the events that had happened just so recently had finally taken their toll on her. She was met with her thoughts mid-wander as her expression would be laced with despair - and at one point she just stopped right in her tracks, as her thoughts crippled her one by one... 'What if you're not good enough?' She thought to herself at first, to which more were on the way. 'What if they don't need your help? What if you'll let them all down, despite your efforts?' They continued, as the 'elder sister' figure she tried to hold herself to began to break as she would level herself to her knees. 'You have already tried to help people in this world, but what have you accomplished?' One thought in particular rang out to her, as Red Riding Hood gasped to herself as it would then continue. 'Your efforts have been noticed by others, but even despite that, they haven't helped the grand scheme of the problem. Stop trying to be the hero. Heroes only reach success because their efforts help others. Heroes are frequently called upon for their help... And then there is you.' Her thoughts finally ceased, yet Red Riding Hood's confidence and general mood was shattered to pieces. She would be trying to compose herself as she tried to rise to her legs, but alas, she could not. She remained on the ground as she choked on her sorrow and her breath, finally muttering something to herself.
Those of you on Red Team would have found yourselves in a creek of some sorts. It sort of reminded you of Blood Gulch, especially since there were two bases at each end, but something about this place was so… serene and peaceful.
“Jesus Christ, this place is a shitload better than Blood Gulch!” Grif said as he looked around, seeming to enjoy the peaceful sights quite a lot. “I mean… I can actually hear birds chirping! Do you know how long it’s been since I heard any animal besides the shit that Donut plays on his noise machine at night?”
“Hey! I’ll have you know that the mysteries of the deep is a very soothing song of nature to get my beauty sleep to!” Donut retorted, which made Grif groan. There weren’t really that places to check, but the bases on each end seemed like a good start. Though, you were always free to explore elsewhere to your heart’s content.
Red Riding Hood saw the body she had kicked - albeit aimless - and immediately yelped in surprise when she looked down to see this dead body now before her - though it was already lifeless prior, stepping back. "Hey, what the-?!" She vocalised her blatantly obvious fear as her boot would kick off the body itself. "Some welcoming this is, I'll say... 'Nice to see you', dead guy." She said bluntly and just as vacantly upset as before. Though, seeing the dead body before her, she figured - what if there 'is' something here to help? They're clearly dead, so it won't matter, will it? Red Riding Hood attempted to loot the body for anything of value, with that in mind. She took a moment to use the water bottle she still has in an attempt to cool herself off and generally relax, 'before' she tried to search the body.Meanwhile, in the midst of Red Riding Hood's existential crisis during her expedition, she would feel her feet thump against something... hard. When she were to look down, she would find that her foot had hit not a rock, but...
A Dead Body!
At least it was a Blue Soldier, and not a Red, right?