BBC Sherlock: A Good Neighbor

[RealisticFantasy]

Olivia winces at his remarks. She was hoping that Sherlock would turn over a new leaf, after being dead for two years and all, but deep down inside she knew he couldn’t change. People never did. She inhales deeply and exhales sharply.


“I thought you were dead. I didn’t theorize about how you may have made it. I mourned. I said my peace. I tried to move on and look what it did to me.” She chuckles bitterly, glancing over to him then away again. “If you want me to leave, I will. If you want to insult me, say your worst. I’ve already lost everything and everyone important to me. I can’t stoop much lower. But, if this is how you want to act, this is how you really wanted to treat me, why bring me here?”


She clenches her jaw and swallows thickly. “You want to know the worst thing? The absolute worst thing? After everything you’ve said and everything I imagine you could say, - and, I mean absolutely despicable, horrid things – I would never not love you.” She glances over to him for just a brief moment. “So, say your worst. Get it off your chest. Then, you won't have to worry about ever seeing me again.”

 

[Kellie Jemmings]

A laugh bubbled up from Sherlock's lips as he stood up and approached the book, leaning against the table as he picked it up as he glanced up at her for a moment before flipping through again, finding one of him embracing another woman, it looked to be oddly like her. He put the book back down as he left it open to that page and looked back up at her, crossing his arms.


"You do realize that what I just said isn't even one one thousandth of what I could say to absolutely destroy you." He stated as he sighed to himself, tsking at himself before standing up as he moved closed to her, his hand on either side of her as he back her into a wall, entrapping her as his eyes looked down into hers as his own searched hers for a moment.


His breath washing over her face as his eyes darkened a bit at their proximity. "Say it again." He whispered, his voice low and husky, normal people would call it a lustful voice.

 

[RealisticFantasy]

There was a small moment of silence where she could hear and feel his steady breath. His demeanor was far too calm for this sort of proximity and that only made her more flustered. She tries to focus her gaze past him but she finds it continually shifts back to his eyes. After realizing that the silence has carried on for too long, she stumbles over her words in an attempt to form a full thought. "Say... Say wh-what again?"


Sometimes she hated his stupid mind games. He knew exactly how to get what he wanted out of people. He knew exactly how to mask his own motives. In the back of her mind, there was a voice reminding her not to fall victim to psychology, to stay rational. But, Sherlock made her irrational. After all, she was perfectly fine being momentarily kidnapped by him to hold a ladder in her nightie.

 

[Kellie Jemmings]

Sherlock watched her very closely, the fact that her breathing grew more and more quick, proving that she was in fact flustered or excited about their proximity. It gave Sherlock great joy to know that he was able to do that to her, but there was no reason in his mind for why he was happy that he was able to make her flustered. Perhaps he needed to think about it on his own. "Tell me how you feel about me again." He murmured watching her closely.


She had never said it bluntly that she loved him, he had only seen her drawings and read the statements, and heard what she had said while she was defending herself, but he wanted a point blank description. He wanted her to tell him exactly how she felt so there was no accident.

 

[RealisticFantasy]

"The sound of your voice makes me smile. I get sad when you're not around and I don't know why. I have trouble falling asleep when you're not playing your violin. Sometimes I look at you and I just want to be close to you. I want to see you smile. I want you to be happy, even if it involves me never seeing you again. I'm entirely okay with giving you the power to entirely destroy me emotionally and I've never felt that way before. When I thought you were in a relationship with someone else, I was upset but I pretended I didn't mind. When I thought you were dead, I was the most devastated I have ever been in my life. When I thought you hated me, I was even more devastated."


"Being near you makes me feel vulnerable and stupid and rash. I tried to ignore all of it and I didn't know what it all meant because I never felt that way before. I moved here because I thought I was looking for spontaneity and adventure and something new, but I found something so entirely different. When I'm with you, I feel like I have something I didn't know I was missing. I entirely, completely with all of my soul love you. That's how I feel."


Olivia let out a soft sigh, her gaze falling to the ground. It was something she had wanted to get off her chest for awhile but, now that it was out there, she felt like Sherlock was going to rip her apart. She really just wanted to leave, but she couldn't force herself to make a move to leave. Even if it was going to shatter her heart, she had to hear what Sherlock had to say.

 

[Kellie Jemmings]

Sherlock watched her as she spoke from her heart truly. He needed to hear it, because it just affirmed his own feelings for her that he hadn't known he even held for her. His heart swelled with each comment about her simply needing him, and how his death nearly killed her in her own way. He didn't know what to do, he didn't understand social ques or typical reactions to someone spilling their guts and feelings to the other. He just knew one thing that seemed to be a prominence for him at the moment. He despretely wanted to kiss the woman standing in front of her. With her dripping hair and greyish skin from substance abuse, he could only see the eyes of the woman who had haunted his thoughts more than he would ever admit.


So he did just that, he closed the small distance between them and pressed his lips gently to hers. His eyes watching hers as he made sure he wasn't pushing any boundaries.

 

[RealisticFantasy]

The last thing she expected was for Sherlock to kiss her. She had thoroughly expected him to humiliate her, to leave with her head hung low. So, when his lips met hers, surprised was an understatement. For a small moment, she couldn't move. She couldn't think. She was fairly certain she didn't breathe. When her mind returns to some form of normality, she stretches up on her toes to wrap her arms around his neck and to better return the kiss as she pulls him into her, falling back into the wall for support. She had been wanting this for some time, despite not having acknowledged it, and now that is was happening, it hardly felt real.

 

[Kellie Jemmings]

Sherlock's own eyes slipped shut on their own accord as he let her pull him closer to her. His heart rate was rapidly increasing and he felt as if he had no other way to show his emotions right then but to wrap his strong arms around her waist and pull her into him. After a few moments, he pulled his lips from hers as he looked down at her, his own eyes searching for something he did not know. Perhaps he was insecure despite the fact that she had already professed her love for him. Either way, they were both flushed.

 

[RealisticFantasy]

Olivia studies his face for a moment, her arms still wrapped around him and her legs stretched to give her a few much needed inches. She needed to collect her thought, but she didn't know what exactly thoughts needed collected. Twice today Sherlock had done the exact opposite of what she expected and both ended up far better than the alternative, at least for the time being. After a few moments of silence - silence had seemed to become a lot more common between the two -, she lets out a breathless chuckle. "What on Earth took you so long to decide to do that?"

 

[Kellie Jemmings]

Sherlock watched her with a smile at the comment as he noticed she had kept her arms around him as he pulled away. Further proof that he had done the right thing in that moment. Smiling to himself as he pulled back a bit more so they were less pressed together and more just holding each other. "Just had to decide if it was the right thing to do." He murmured watching her with a smile.

 

[RealisticFantasy]

"Well, I'm very glad you decided that it was." She has to refrain from grinning like an idiot. This was the happiest she had felt since Sherlock's death at the very least. She still couldn't quite believe that it happened. She couldn't believe she had admitted all those things to him when she hadn't yet admitted them all to herself. "If what happened had to happen to get to this point, I'd do it all again. Because this is worth all that, just this one moment."

 

[Kellie Jemmings]

Sherlock looked down at her a bit on the surprised side as he inspected her eyes for a moment as he pulled his fingers through her hair. "It'd be easier if all of this had been avoided because then you'd have still had feelings for me either way. So it would be easier to do it like that instead of me having to die in order to save anyone."

 

[RealisticFantasy]

"I'm not saying I'd prefer it the way it happened. I'm just saying that if I could avoid all of that but lose the moment to tell you how I feel, I wouldn't do it. At the rate we were going beforehand, I doubt it would have been any time soon that either of us would have said something." She chuckles softly with a small shrug, leaning into his touch a bit. "Ah, forget it. It was a silly thing to say anyway. It's just the moment and I wanted to say something sweet. But, you're right."

 

[Kellie Jemmings]

He smirked down at her as he shook his head before moving to get the water when it began whistling. "You know, had you not shown me those books you wouldn't have said anything anyways." He stated as he began pouring water into two cups and walking back towards the table. Setting them down before taking a seat across from where she would sit as his eyes raked over her. "So...why were you in that house?"

 

[RealisticFantasy]

"Well..." She drags the word on as she drops into the chair across from him. "It wasn't a good reason. Why were you there?" She crosses her arms over her chest as she leaves back into the chair. Though the topic was something she certainty didn't want to discuss, a certain atmosphere of contentedness had washed over her. Maybe it was because what just happened... No, she was almost entirely certain that was the cause of it.

 

[Kellie Jemmings]

"I know I was there for better reasons than your own. I was there investigating a case. One I can't tell you about because, well, you'd more than likely end up dead in a back alley way." He stated as he smirked over at her before glancing back at the door to the flat, sighing gently as he looked back at her.

 

[RealisticFantasy]

"It's not like my reasoning for being there was keeping me any farther from that." She lowers her gaze to her thigh, tracing circles on it. When she hears him sigh, he lifts her gaze back to him. Had this scenario been back when they were just casual acquaintances, she would have known better than to ask and expect a legitimate answer. Now, she was hoping things were different but he knew that might not necessarily ring true. "What was that for? Something on your mind?"

 

[Kellie Jemmings]

His eyes rose to her as he raised an eye brow slowly at her. "It was because you very clearly are very deep into an addiction." He stated leaning back into his chair as she traced circles some where below the table as he bit his lip. Struggling to think of an actual way to go about addressing that she needed to quit her bad habits before she was in fact dead in some alley way because she was unable to pay who ever she was getting her drugs from.

 

[RealisticFantasy]

She flushes lightly, trying to hide her face from his view. She knew the state she was in wasn't good. It wasn't like she enjoyed it. There were moments where her mind was too incapacitated to let her worry about things like money or Sherlock. "Very deep sounds a bit pessimistic." She let at a weak laugh at the poor attempt to lighten the mood. It really wasn't a joking matter. But, she really couldn't happen. She didn't intend for her bad jokes to make things more awkward. They just sort of... happened. After a small and awkward silence, she decides a subject change is in order. "How was John's wedding? I saw something about it on his blog."

 

[Kellie Jemmings]

Sherlock watched as she yet again grew flustered from the conversation as his eye brows rose at her and he felt even more obligated to step in, he knew how hard it was to kick just a simple addiction in which he had. Hers would be far more difficult with far more issues that would arise as time continued. "The wedding was good. John's very happy with his wife." He said with a smile as he thought about the two of them.

 

[RealisticFantasy]

"Oh, that's great. Good for John. He deserves someone great. I just hope that someday I'll be able to congratulate them without him hating me." She sighs softly, silently scolding herself for mentioning it. John hadn't talked to her since the funeral and even then, it was just him reprimanding her for showing up at all. She tried to see it from his perspective and be empathetic, but it was impossible to not be upset at the loss of a friend over words she never really meant.

 

[Kellie Jemmings]

"Ah...yes...he was very upset about what you did." He murmured looking at her, he could tell she was hurt by John's actions. "You know, I know you did it to save all those children. But John heard the entire conversation, and he doesn't take lightly to betrayal. He was in the military you know." He murmured looking at her again as he sighed softly.

 

[RealisticFantasy]

"I mean, I understand him being upset. But, with you being alive and well, I wish he'd give me a chance to explain." She sighs, getting to her feet. She really wished that she their conversations could be a little less depressing. They had such a wonderful moment and not she was ruining it with her stupid, depressing feelings. She clears her throat, turning to face Sherlock. "Any interesting cases lately? Or has business slowed after... Everything?"

 

[Kellie Jemmings]

Sherlock shrugged as he leaned back, looking at her with a pointed glance. "You just said a moment ago you hadn't spoken to him since I died. How would you know if he would give you a chance to explain or not? And I am working on a case, as I just mentioned. But I can't tell you about it because you would end up dead."

 

[RealisticFantasy]

"Right..." She mutters under her breath, walking toward the window to look out onto Baker Street. Her mind races with thoughts of how she needs to piece her life back together and reconciling with John and various other things she couldn't do anything about at the moment until her thoughts shift to one she could. After what felt like hours but was really only seconds, perhaps minutes at most, of mental debate, she decide to speak up again. She keeps her gaze fixed on the street below, watching people and cars come and go. "Sherlock... Why did you kiss me?"


She lets the words hang in the air for a moment, brushing the damp strands of hair out of her view. "And, I don't mean the logistics of why anyone would kiss anyone. Why do you kiss me? Because, if we're going to be perfectly honest, I'm not that spectacular. Especially now. After what's happened between us, after me destroying my own life, I'm subpar at best. There's always someone prettier or smarter or funnier or more interesting or just generally better. So, why now? Why me? What advantage is there to being close to me? Because I've thought about it from every angle and objectively, I can't - I just can't - see anything that isn't just a hindrance. So, you can be honest if you regret it or don't genuinely reciprocate the feelings. I rather be you be honest and not do things out of pity"