Dragongal
Miss Medic
Slowly, Arryn reached out and wiped off his tears with one hand, pushing his hair back with her other. "It's alright, dearest. I guess we both understand each other better than we thought." Arryn wrapped her arms around his neck, providing comfort for them both. What was worse than the fact that they'd done it was the feeling of guilt afterward - it shouldn't have been done, they shouldn't have stooped to that low, but they both had. And it hurt. After some time, she moved one hand up to wipe his tears again, running her thumb over his cheekbone. There was nothing to say for either of them. She hummed softly, just to break the silence and hopefully distract him from his pain. Like usual, she was less worried about her own pain, and more concerned about his. After more time had passed, she began to speak again, partially to give him a distraction, partially because, well, when better to bleed than when already wounded?
"After that night, the-the nightmares really started. I didn't understand, then, but it was bad. I experimented with all kinds of sleeping potions and draughts, it got to every night, I was scared to sleep, I'd be practicing fighting or reading books until it was almost dawn, trying to not let myself sleep. Anyway, um, it - it got better after a while, and I adjusted. Um, I used to - and I did for years, actually - I'd grab my dagger by the blade when I woke to keep myself from slipping back into the nightmares or a memory...." She held her left hand out for him to see the many faint lines scarred into her palm, then she took his hand again. "I wasn't the only one in the team who was having those nightmares. Anyway, a year in, I was barely fifteen, we were doing a raid on a small outpost built in the woods. Cheap plyboard walls, dirt flooring, the works. I was carrying an injured child - intended to be a slave - out, that was my part of the plan, and I heard this... scream." She paused and shook her head, taking a second to wipe off her tears, which were quickly replaced, trying to order her thoughts. "Dayn, have you ever... The fire, um… have you ever…. no, nevermind, um… I recognized it immediately as Tomlain, one of the original five. Close-range fighter, we'd been good friends, and... I set the girl down, since it was safe, and I ran back, and I met with Matthias and Demi carrying him.... and..." she paused to run her hand through her hair, shuddering. She wiped off her tears, but her action didn't seem to make a difference. "Dayn, the smell, burnt flesh and burnt hair, it was so bad, I could hardly breathe, and - and he was so badly burnt, he was absolutely unrecognizable. The slavers, they'd - they'd set incendiary traps and he stepped right on it. He took the full conflagration He was basically dead when they brought him to me, but... I did my best, I tried so hard," Arryn paused; she was losing her ability to speak, her heart hurt so badly. "Matthias tried to drag me away, and I told him we couldn't leave him, but... I'd tried so hard... I was already getting exhausted, and i still needed to heal anymore wounded, including the slaves... then I just made sure there was no more pain, and... he was dead."
She looked at Dayn and tried to flash him a shaky smile through her tears. "That's why I can't stand being burnt, and I'm so nervsy around fires. My magic - it's like a reflex, it remembers healing those burns, and it makes me get caught in a flashback, and.... and I just can't. But it gets worse. We were - it was a simple run, and - and I was leading the whole group out and - and this armored man, he stepped out of a hidden panel, and he was blocking our way, and he had this vicious dog, and, and..." she paused, trying to slow her breathing. "He had a child in one hand, and a whip in the other, and, and, any time we took a step, he hurt the kid, and I knew we had to get out of there, fast, we had wounded, and.... that's it!" She shrugged, laughing almost hysterically through her tears, like someone who'd been shown something incomprehensible and impossible to wrap the mind around. "That's all I remember of that night, until I woke up covered in blood. Matthias was watching over me, we normally did that for the wounded, and I was so exhausted, and - blood was everywhere, gods, it - my hands.... It was worse than when I'd gotten hold of the assassin, and - and, Matthias, he - he told me, I had just... gone berserk. I'd finally snapped on a mission, I guess, but this wasn't like before, this - I had no recollection of any of it. I - I am not going to say what I did in front of the children we were trying to save. When they tried to drag me off of the man, though, I punched Demi and kept going, and then more enemies came, and... they just let me go, there was nothing else they could do, and when the fight was over, I collapsed. My team was concerned... but I think one or two of them might have been, almost... nervous around me after that. Next couple missions, went fine, then it happened again, Matthias and Kalie kept it on the down-low, but... I don't know what happened. It's just - I just lost it both times and I still can't remember anything of it. I wasn't even insane by that point. No, it took more than that to mentally break me...." Arryn leaned her head against Dayn's chest, closing her eyes, crying, shuddering with silent sobs. Yes, it had taken a lot to mentally break her, but it had most certainly happened, and it still hurt to even vaguely reference. "I can't stand to think about it, much less tell you, it hurts so bad, I can't - I-I just can't, not yet, it's- I... acknowledgment of it hurts too bad, I... I'm sorry, I'll tell you, the-the moment I can, I just..." Arryn put her right hand over her face, trying to keep some control over her pain, still holding Dayn's hand in her left.
"After that night, the-the nightmares really started. I didn't understand, then, but it was bad. I experimented with all kinds of sleeping potions and draughts, it got to every night, I was scared to sleep, I'd be practicing fighting or reading books until it was almost dawn, trying to not let myself sleep. Anyway, um, it - it got better after a while, and I adjusted. Um, I used to - and I did for years, actually - I'd grab my dagger by the blade when I woke to keep myself from slipping back into the nightmares or a memory...." She held her left hand out for him to see the many faint lines scarred into her palm, then she took his hand again. "I wasn't the only one in the team who was having those nightmares. Anyway, a year in, I was barely fifteen, we were doing a raid on a small outpost built in the woods. Cheap plyboard walls, dirt flooring, the works. I was carrying an injured child - intended to be a slave - out, that was my part of the plan, and I heard this... scream." She paused and shook her head, taking a second to wipe off her tears, which were quickly replaced, trying to order her thoughts. "Dayn, have you ever... The fire, um… have you ever…. no, nevermind, um… I recognized it immediately as Tomlain, one of the original five. Close-range fighter, we'd been good friends, and... I set the girl down, since it was safe, and I ran back, and I met with Matthias and Demi carrying him.... and..." she paused to run her hand through her hair, shuddering. She wiped off her tears, but her action didn't seem to make a difference. "Dayn, the smell, burnt flesh and burnt hair, it was so bad, I could hardly breathe, and - and he was so badly burnt, he was absolutely unrecognizable. The slavers, they'd - they'd set incendiary traps and he stepped right on it. He took the full conflagration He was basically dead when they brought him to me, but... I did my best, I tried so hard," Arryn paused; she was losing her ability to speak, her heart hurt so badly. "Matthias tried to drag me away, and I told him we couldn't leave him, but... I'd tried so hard... I was already getting exhausted, and i still needed to heal anymore wounded, including the slaves... then I just made sure there was no more pain, and... he was dead."
She looked at Dayn and tried to flash him a shaky smile through her tears. "That's why I can't stand being burnt, and I'm so nervsy around fires. My magic - it's like a reflex, it remembers healing those burns, and it makes me get caught in a flashback, and.... and I just can't. But it gets worse. We were - it was a simple run, and - and I was leading the whole group out and - and this armored man, he stepped out of a hidden panel, and he was blocking our way, and he had this vicious dog, and, and..." she paused, trying to slow her breathing. "He had a child in one hand, and a whip in the other, and, and, any time we took a step, he hurt the kid, and I knew we had to get out of there, fast, we had wounded, and.... that's it!" She shrugged, laughing almost hysterically through her tears, like someone who'd been shown something incomprehensible and impossible to wrap the mind around. "That's all I remember of that night, until I woke up covered in blood. Matthias was watching over me, we normally did that for the wounded, and I was so exhausted, and - blood was everywhere, gods, it - my hands.... It was worse than when I'd gotten hold of the assassin, and - and, Matthias, he - he told me, I had just... gone berserk. I'd finally snapped on a mission, I guess, but this wasn't like before, this - I had no recollection of any of it. I - I am not going to say what I did in front of the children we were trying to save. When they tried to drag me off of the man, though, I punched Demi and kept going, and then more enemies came, and... they just let me go, there was nothing else they could do, and when the fight was over, I collapsed. My team was concerned... but I think one or two of them might have been, almost... nervous around me after that. Next couple missions, went fine, then it happened again, Matthias and Kalie kept it on the down-low, but... I don't know what happened. It's just - I just lost it both times and I still can't remember anything of it. I wasn't even insane by that point. No, it took more than that to mentally break me...." Arryn leaned her head against Dayn's chest, closing her eyes, crying, shuddering with silent sobs. Yes, it had taken a lot to mentally break her, but it had most certainly happened, and it still hurt to even vaguely reference. "I can't stand to think about it, much less tell you, it hurts so bad, I can't - I-I just can't, not yet, it's- I... acknowledgment of it hurts too bad, I... I'm sorry, I'll tell you, the-the moment I can, I just..." Arryn put her right hand over her face, trying to keep some control over her pain, still holding Dayn's hand in her left.
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