Angel

[willow44]

I slipped into the very last pew, a newcomer in this church, though it was the only one relatively close to my new home. But truly, any denomination of the Faith would satisfy me. It had been a while since I had attended a mass or sermon or whatever this place chose to call it. I hadn't been within one of His houses for a while and I craved the closeness with him. But as I settled into my seat, I was immediately overcome with an aura of falseness. The facade of these people was bearing down on me as I took in their expensive clothing, the front rows filled to the maximum with those who wished to appear to be enraptured with the pastor's speech.


But as I closed my eyes, allowing his voice to fill my mind and I prepared to listen to the Lord's words... all I could feel was venom and lies. The male in the front of the church was making promises that were completely false. The He would heal you if you donated money? The church needed a new stained glass window and giving money to it would help appease Him with the new addition? He was practically trying to sell them salvation. And those who listened were absolutely believing him.


Those here were only wishing to further their social image by being here, able to say that they were devout believers in their religion because they attended it regularly and it was expected of them as the rich. The idea of shelling out cash to them didn't seem bad at all and when the collection baskets came around at the end, I could see wads of cash being thrown in; just something more for the people to brag about to their friends. The emphasis put on the importance of monetary gain within this church was revolting and it was even insulting and degrading to the religion. This was supposed to be a house of God, not just money deposit that would be soaked up by those who ran the place, namely the man standing front and center, arms upraised as he blessed us all with his filthy mouth and mind and those here were all quick to exit, rushing to get back to their lives.


Soon it was the pastor and I left within the church and I stiffly rose from my pew, but my legs carried me further from the door behind me up towards the altar where he was, audaciously counting the money from the collections, greed filling his eyes. "You call this a church?" My voice boomed through the solid structure, echoed around in the high vaulted ceilings, amongst the bared rafters. I'd been willing to accept the grandiose appearance of this church, figuring that the people who built it had wanted attention and wanted to bring glory to their god's name, but now I saw what it was. It was attempting to buy His love and also just a show of the pastor's fortune with the donations.


It was appalling.


I climbed the steps, his platform that was meant to make him appear higher than the others; a false hierarchy. "Have you no shame in lying to these people? In accepting their money as they try to buy their way into a religion which had once been great? You are a fraud." I now towered over him as I stood on the same level, at least four inches taller with my six-foot-five frame.


I was intimidating with my wide shoulders and muscle tone, not excessive, but enough to show that I could cause some serious damage if need be. I had light brown hair and eyes that were extraordinarily colored; my one difference from the humans. The irises were rimmed with a deep black that faded to a stormy gray and then a rich amber flowering out from the pupils, something naturally rare to any human and the way that they changed with mood only furthered my separation from their kind. The eyes were the windows to the soul and mine was rich and nearly pure, made specially by Himself to live in the heavens with him.


I was a fallen angel, one of His top command, forbidden to return to the heavens after my fall. I'd made the foolish choice of following the Morning Star, of believing in Lucifer's plot of changing the world and being the greatest beings alive. Those of us who had followed him truly loved him, though a few like me hadn't loved him truly enough. We'd fought against His army, those who had stayed in the heavens with Him. We'd fought and many fell, but once we were forced to leave, we didn't continue to follow Lucifer into the underworld. We were stuck, trapped in the world of the mortals between. Forbidden in both the heavens and underworld, we were immortal, living among the humans.


I had known the real god. And I still worshiped him, his memory never leaving my mind once I had discovered the Morning Star's betrayal of our kind. The others that were like me... they were either killed off or are in hiding. We are seen as impure and filth. We've been hunted down for millenia because of our decisions. This was our punishment for it all and many haven't even given the hunters the chance to get to them. Suicide has ended the fallen angels quickly and only a very few remained. And I was one of them.


But now my eyes were boiling with my fury, the depths of my eyes shimmering and smoldering as I glared at him, enraged at his obscene display of greed and selfishness within the house of God. "This isn't a house of God. It may as well be a brothel for all of its absence of honor." The money went flying into the air as I heard the door open, using what little power I had to make it seem as if a huge gust of wind blew in, the bills scattering everywhere.


Name:


Liam Chambers (Azza)


Age:


21


Gender:


Male


Appearance:


x&x&x


-------------------------------------------------------------


I sighed as the towering, pale, brick building came into view, looming tall and dark. It always had an eerie, haunting feeling to it whenever I looked at it, scared me, I always thought something bad was going to happen when I went inside, not something good, something bad. It didn't make any sense, either, my father was a pastor, I should love this building. It was our church, where we came for worship, it was a sign of hope and peace. The place that poor, lost souls came to find security and closure. A hope for the new world, for the Son of God to bring peace to our world and stop all crime and hate and sorrow. There was a scripture that my father used often, it was embedded in my head now. Revelations 21:3,4. About God wiping out all pain, sorrow, tears and sickness. My father liked to use that because it seemed to relieve most people, give them a sense of comfort and of freedom, to know that the Son was coming soon to free them, to take all their grief and suffering and give in return peace and happiness.


Or at least thats what my father taught. And everyone believed it too, or wanted to believe it. They wanted to believe that someone, somehow would come and take all the bad things away and it was a nice sort of fantasy... but it wasn't true. Sad to say I found a flaw with my fathers teaching and the church, and once I had found that out, I had never looked on the church in the same way ever again. I had found an angel. An actual spirit creature that had created a human body once he had been thrown out of heaven. There was no where in the bible or my fathers teachings that had fallen angels in it. Bad angels, sure, once who had followed the Devil, but he hadn't and this was different. And what was worse was the fact that I hadn't just met the angel, I had become friends with him. Nothing more, no romantic connections or anything stupid like that. That would be ridiculous and besides I was still trying to comprehend that he was from heaven.


He was just someone to talk to, other then my very strict religious friends. See, my father never allowed me to associate with anyone out side of the church, school students were not to be talked to unless it was absolutely necessary. And when I did start making friends at my old school, my father found out and asked for a transfer for his sermons with the church. I arrived home from school, my father and mother packing boxes in to a mover truck. My father had lectured me for hours with sermons and scriptures and so on. It had been torture, pure torture. Then I was made to pack my things and we left in the next two days. After that my father had made sure I was exactly home an hour after school let out and on the weekends if I wasn't studying I was with churchy kids.


I was sick of it too, the thing my father wouldn't accept or acknowledge that I was nineteen, legally allowed to just and and leave without a word to them, but no, I stayed on. I knew if I left my mother would have nothing, she would despair and probably turn back to the drink. She never got drunk or anything, no, the pastors wife couldn't do that, but not just that she wouldn't she knew how people changed with drinking she she didn't. But I still didn't like her drinking, it just wasn't what I was used to and I knew my father would give her a sermon about how it was the Devils liquid and that she shouldn't be drinking it. Then she would probably nod and agree with my father and say she was sorry. Then she would pour all of her alcohol into the sink and wash it away down the drain. But I seem to remember a few scriptures where Jesus turned water into wine at a party. Surely he wouldn't have done that if it was the devils work. He was the Son of God who loved his father, he wouldn't defy the big guy for some wine, would he? The answer was simple; no.


And as for me, well, I had been rebellious ever since I had gotten my own mind to makes it's decisions. I got my license and had my own car, when my father objected I claimed it was for the best for when I had to go to work and couldn't catch the bus because it took far too long. I got a job as as personal assistant, not very well paid but college wasn't allowed because it would take me away from the church for too long and I would be influenced by the Devil and his crafty works. And I had a tattoo, there was no where in the bible that said anything against it. besides mine was on my shoulder blade and could easily be hidden by judging and scornful eyes. My parents hadn't found out and I wasn't about to let them either. It was my body and my choice but it didn't mean I wanted my father to know, he would go on one of his rants and raves about how it was abusing my body and the bible says no. Then I'd get a lecture and have to sit there with a sorry and repentful gaze on my face until he finished.


Personally I had nothing against the church, just that they were wrong and wouldn't recognize what fallen angels were. It was hard knowing that because it meant that my father was a hypocrite and so was the rest of the church. But my angel friend knew better. I could take all of my problems to him and he wouldn't judge me, we would just sit or walk while we talked about it. And when he needed things, like food, tips on how to survive or money even I would help out there. It was a fair trade and I liked having him as a friend. It wasn't like he was against the church but he knew the flaws in it and he wasn't apart of the church either, but that suited me just fine. We got on alright, sure he had some quirks but I didn't mind, he was the best friend I had had in years. Someone who understood me, didn't judge or anything like that. We were just equals, two humans trying to figure out life and how to deal with it.


My mother pulled up in the parking lot and we got out, I was in a long flowy dress, a white one, mother said it made me look like an angel and I hated that. But as we walked in, early as usual I got a kind of sick feeling. Something wasn't right, I didn't know what it was but something just wasn't right. I knew my father was already there, he got there before everyone and my mother and I had to wait until he had finished setting up the church to make sure it was acceptable to God for my fathers flock of sheep to enter the Holy place of worship. We walked in, early as usual and waited for the rest of the congregation to file in. I had no intention on associating with them so I kept my gaze on the bible, pretending to read until the sermon began. I followed, intently listening until it finished and we sang the last song and the congregation quickly dispersed, their high and mighty social need to be seen done.


But a man remained, and as he walked up to the alter, asking questions in a demanding tone as he walked to my father and my eyes widened in shock and horror. I looked back from my father to him again. Of course I knew who he was it was Liam, I'd known him for about a week or so but now he was here and questioning my father. My father was a short, stocky man who glared back at Liam, who was, of course, towering over him.


"This isn't just a church, it is the House of God, a refuge and a safeguard for lost sheep," He answered calmly as he eyed the young man who was steadily and fastly approaching him. I looked to my mother who had her gaze hard and narrowed on the young man, I could see she was biting her tongue, she would have opened fire on him if she had not known her place, which was to let my father handle this. Against such people she would defend my father through everything, never faltering to stay faithful and loyal to him, even if she did doubt my father. But she wrapped her arm around my shoulder and kissed my forehead as if I needed reassuring and I wanted to get away from her but I knew better then to do that. It would give away that I knew him and I couldn't risk that right now.


All I knew was that he was right, my father was wrong and there was nothing else I to be said but I knew that my father wouldn't back down, he had all of his false honor to keep up and this young man wouldn't be enough to get in his way. "I do not lie! I give them the truth about God! I bring them closer to the Divine Father!" He yelled his face flushing red with anger and shame but he was trying not to show that, "Their money comes as a freely given donation. God appreciates those who gives freely to Him and he blesses them for it." He said as he faced the man who was now on his alter.


"How dare you come up here?! It is for the men of God only! You are a worker of the Devil himself!" He snarled before his gaze turned to shock and he picked up his Bible, "A brothel? A brothel?! How dare you? Get out!" He yelled and I knew that he was trying to find another excuse to come back at the man for, but what was there? He had been exposed for what he was, though he wasn't going down without a fight.


Name -


Evangaline {Angie} Sydney Stonem


Age -


Nineteen


Gender -


Female


Picture -


{ X } { X }


--------------------------------------------------


The man's answer only made me give a humorless laugh, "You're lucky if the exterior compares to a church. A House of God? You must have a sick sense of humor if you think you can fool me for even a moment." I heard a sound behind me and my head lazily turned to see Angie standing there, a woman who I assumed to be her mothers arm around her as she tried to comfort her daughter who obviously didn't need it. My head turned back around to face the pastor who was still going on, attempting to defend his false clergy. "Their money is given in the way of greed and selfishness. A House of God should be plain, it should be modest and it should be generous and not flaunt what money it hasn't given away, for there shouldn't be any remaining if this truly was a House of God." My voice was calm compared to his as he yelled at me.


He was immature, ridiculous and altogether not worth my time. "I may not have a place in the Heavens, but I am of no means a worker of the Devil. Hold your tongue until you have something of worth to say, you incorrigible fool." It was a deep insult to call me a worker of the Devil, yet he had no idea of what he was speaking about. He knew not of any evil as deep as that of Lucifer himself. "Why do you have this? Do you believe that one of the Almighty's 'sheep' as you call them, is any better than the next? That is blasphemy in itself. Having an altar for yourself to be seated upon is going against the Heavenly Father directly by proclaiming yourself better and higher than any other human within the church. Idolizing yourself and asking money to fund your desires and telling these people only what you wish for them to hear is creating your own religion; one to worship yourself and that is the deepest, worst blasphemy of all."


The pastor told me to leave and I glared at him, "Gladly. Not because you told me to do so, but because I cannot bear another second in this hovel." I growled before I whirled around, my eyes catching Angie's as I walked by, but I continued facing forward as I gracefully made my way down the aisle, "Someone should burn this place to the ground. It's the only way to cleanse it of this evil and disgrace." I said loudly so that he could hear, but of course I didn't care enough to look back at him.


And then I left the church, simple as that. I brushed a little fuzzy ball of nothing off of my jacket, actually a suit jacket that I had worn to dress up for what I had assumed would be a respectable mass. But of course I had been wrong. Oh, I couldn't have been any more wrong. This was a sham, a disgrace and it was disgusting to know that such a thing existed in His name. I was wearing a black pantsuit with a light blue undershirt. Simple and honorable for attending a House of God. It was too bad that I had been deceived and wasted my time with the pastor. Reading my Bible at home was my best hope for keeping my Faith and renewing His word within my mind.


Though of course that wasn't necessary. His word was as fresh in my mind as it had been the day he spoke it to me. The human rendition of all he said wasn't as accurate and it was an insult to the true beauty of all that he had spoken, though it was the best that the mortal realm could offer and it was what I had to settle for in my eternal banishment here. It was my only consolation and my only memoir of my past that reminded me that I wasn't a human. I had absorbed their culture and learned to live like them, but it was lowering myself to their standards.


In ancient times, the humans had introduced us to the art of making love, of finding a mate, of infidelity, of eating, of desire, of hunger, of ambition, anger, fury, torture, mistake and every other weakness. The Almighty had created them to fill this realm and we had overlooked them, interacted with them and therefore taught them new things such as fire and knowledge and we learned the rest from them. They had weakened our race, but they had created that questioning of our kind against the Almighty. We began making mistakes and learning from them, gaining personalities, and we began becoming bored with the Heavens. We craved more and that was when Lucifer brought up the idea of leaving, of going against God himself and we had been persuaded to follow. Though I had gotten off with the humans rather than continuing the ride of banishment to hell.


------------------------------------------------------------------


My father glared hard at the boy, "What would you know about what a church is and isn't supposed to look like, demon? And I'll let you know what humor is, humor is you being a stoned son of Satan coming into my Church, the worship place of God to tell me I'm wrong?! Son, I pity you." He replied as his face flushed again, "Selfishly? How dare you? Their money is given to keep our church alive and to keep a roof of my family's head! Unlike your Satanic God teaches, my work keeps me busy and I have no time to work, and my dear wife Mary, she is looking after the elderly in our congregation. Now unless you believe it is the responsibility of my daughter to provide for us then you see yourself in the wrong," He growled, had he not been in the church I have no doubt my father would have struck him down. It was against the law of the bible but a blasphemer had to be reproved and if it came to physical combat then my father felt justified.


"Too right you have no place in the heavens, I wonder at your having a place among this earth when you should be down below, being shown your place. Do not tell me to hold my tongue. You who comes into my church and demands answers when you have no idea of who I am or how close I am to the Almighty Lord." He snarled, it was a complete and utter lie too, my father had no connections to God other then in prayer and through the bible. He was not a prophet or priest and God never contacted him personally although he claimed the Lord did so. "I stand up here because God has put me upon this alter, to preach his word, God himself selected me and I will never go against the word of our Lord. How dare you question his judgment, filthy snake? I am higher because the Lord chose me and I am the light guiding his sheep towards him, towards their land flowing with milk and honey, away from evils does, that God promised."


He held his chin higher when Azzer agreed to leave and I watched him go, my gaze a little fearful for the repercussions of what had just happened but I knew they would be dealt with. "Curse be the ground you walk on, Son of Satan!" My father yelled after him with such rage I thought I felt the building vibrating but I knew but could no be so. My father watched him leave and I wanted to race out after to him to go with him but I knew better then to do that. It was only my fear coming to haunt me. I knew my father, once finished with the cleaning and ready to go home would lecture my mother and I about how lost that young man was and how he needed the truth to set him free from the Devils lies. And I would listen like the good daughter but after I would escape that falseness and retreat somewhere else.


My father gathered his books and papers and came down to us, murmuring how sorry he was that we had to witness that before he bowed his heads and we followed suit as he offered a prayer to the Almighty. Once he had finished that he set his books down and told us to get to cleaning the Chruch while he went into the deeper chambers to clean there and go through the finances. My mother ordered me to clean the windows and floors while she cleaned our seat rows and the carpets. We dusted the walls and made the church shine before heading out to the car to drive home and await my fathers return. I yawned as I looked out the window, bored and trying to escape in my thoughts but I knew it was not until after lunch that I would be able to leave.


My mother played tunes of church music that made me want to throw up as I listened to them though tried to blot them out. She played them all the while we drove and she sang along to some to, while I sat there in my misery. Once we arrived home I got out carrying our books into my fathers study before heading upstairs to undress and change. I pulled on a pair of shorts that fell to three inches above my knee with a white singlet and a coral cardigan over the top. Heading back downstairs I took my purse and shoes too and set them by the door before washing my hands and heading to help my mother in the kitchen. We were having tuna salad and cooked ham with her special sauce for lunch.


My first job was to lay the table with a fresh table cloth and place mats before the plates and cutlery. I put a wine on the table with orange juice and glasses out then went to make the salad. Father returned home just as we were dishing out the food and he went to the table to sit down, not saying a word until we sat. He gave thanks then began eating without a word. I shot a glance at my mother who shook her head and kept eating. I wasn't sure what was wrong until he began talking. He was speaking about how our faith must not be thrown aside because fo the young man who was blaspheming against Gods Holy name, that we must feel sorrow and pity for him and continue to pray for him that his eyes be opened and shown the correct way.


My father continued this sermon until we finished eating. At which point he stood, thanked my mother for the meal and left for his study. I cleared the dishes and cleaned the kitchen while my mother left on one of her calls with a freshly baked cake. she kissed me good bye then left. I wrote a note saying I was going out and stuck it on the fridge before heading out to the door, pulling on my shoes and picking up my handbag before leaving and shutting the door behind me. I caught a bus to the library, since I didn't have a car of my own and mother was using hers.


---------------------------------------------------------


None of the donations made to the church was to be for the pastor. That was why it was supposed to be a sacrifice for your beliefs that you followed His way. The pastor was supposed to be humble and give everything away to the poor and needy. Nothing should go to his family despite it being Angie. The money given was to help others and not himself. He should be satisfied and full with His work and not need fancy clothes, a pretty house or a new car. No, these things were just that. Things. They held no real value in the afterlife and that was what this religion was striving for; a place in heaven.


But he insisted that he was chosen and blah-blah-blah-blah-blah. He was ridiculous. Of course in the histories there have been a few truly remarkable humans who have done things to help their kind and devote their lives to Him, but none had ever been chosen. No human had ever been chosen by Him to be something special. Even their Jesus hadn't been a human, no he had been nephilim, a human and angel hybrid. Capable of minor magics. Just as Moses and Krishna and Buddha and many, many others had been as well. All superhuman and unnatural and in pursuit of pleasing the Heavenly Father just like their parents had been.


I walked down the steps of the church and made my way to the library down the street. I was just wanting to cool down amongst the books and so I did, finding a thick dictionary and taking a seat in the back on one of the musty couches as I began reading through it, the structured and technical lull of the book aiding in calming me. I usually read more in depth and thoughtful books based on religion, religious theories and so on. It was interesting to see what the humans believed about the impossible and what stories they made up to explain it for themselves, to make it more feasible that there were worlds other than theirs. That there was a Heaven and a Hell as well as a God and an Evil.


But the dictionary was best for the moment because it succeeded in calming me from my frustration and anger by the time I reached the 'P' portion of the book. Was this something I regularly did? Somewhat. Poetry was also nice. Just something to keep me busy as I dissected the structure, the meanings of each word, the words of which it is composed of and so on. It was purely the anatomical rhythm of the words that distracted my mind from my emotions.


I couldn't stand those religious leaders who assumed that they were better than everyone else. It was truly baffling that they could even consider that being true when their religion was meant to be modest and humbling, all work going to their religion in worshiping their God. People like the pastor were irritating and doomed to a life in hell for abusing their power as a person meant to guide the people in their praise and honor of the Almighty Father.


It was a shame that Angie had to put up with him, that she had to live with him on a daily basis. The self righteous anus was in no way a fit father and from what she had told me, he was definitely overbearing in his religious outpourings and it only supported the idea that he did this just for the looks. Just for the rights that came with the position as well as the money. The money technically shouldn't be his not only by spiritual means, but by governmental as well. The church was supposed to be a nonprofitable organization. It wasn't a business place and therefore because of the absence of any significant money gain, there were no taxes that would be taken from the church. The land was government supported when the pastor was deriving a steady paycheck from his position there.


I finally closed the hefty book and stood, getting a few odd looks from those who cared to glance in my direction thanks to my apparel and on the count of what I'd been reading. Though I didn't care. I walked back towards the front of the library, placing the dictionary back in place in the reference section before I turned, about to leave when I spotted Angie near the door. I gave a grim smile in her direction as I leaned against the book case, waiting for her to join me.


------------------------------------------------------


I stepped off the bus and began the short walk towards the library, it was perfect reading weather, sure the sun was still out but there was a sort of haze hanging around and I thought that by evening time we would have a storm, and if not a storm then at least some rain. I enjoyed the rain, it was comforting in the way that I could isolate myself from my parents and lose all thought of my reality, responsibility and every other problem in my like and just enjoy reading. Sometimes I only got a few hours but it was worth every minute. I crossed the street from the lights and walked onto the block of the library, the big building was there as always and I felt immediately better, some how I felt as if I should have gotten this feeling whenever I attended church, not when I was simply going to the library.


But how could I love a place that was full of lies and hypocrisy? And furthermore the place that my father ran? I knew I had been brought up to believe what he taught and until I turned fifteen everything was peachy, I had been naive wanting to believe anything my father told me only because I had been desperate for my father not to lie to me, but to be straight up and honest with me. Though, that dream had been crushed when I knew he lied to the congregation. He knew he made things up but he claimed to everyone else that it was God who inspired him and that he was not alone in the small handful of selected pastors to receive this blessing of being inspired by the Almighty. I knew that was a load of bullocks, what me meant was that all pastors made stuff up to keep their position in the congregation and strike fear into the hearts of their flock to frighten them to stay.


But sadly after many years of believing his own lies my father started to believe them, every little intricate detailed lie he had made became embedded in his brain and he started falling for them and his sight was blinded by his own venom. It had been sad to see, watching the transition take over my father. He had been a glorious man once, standing tall and proud, now he was a shriveled little mushroom, who looked more like a snake then anything else and I couldn't stand to be in his sights. But I wondered, as I walked into the library, whether or not he had been like that all along and I had been too young and innocent to notice. I would have asked my mother, however I knew she would just lie black and blue to save face for my father. She would always be faithful and loyal to him, right down until the end.


I walked through the sliding door and went straight to the drop off point, putting my books in the chute, I had had to hide these books and also probably the ones I would borrow now since my parents would not approve and they would say these books were the work of the Devil himself, just like the had called Azza today. I mostly read books by their authors and right now Though as I looked Lesly Pearse and Belinda Alexandra had my attention, they were both good books and while their books were fiction they made you believe the story and almost stray into thinking it had been a true story. Once I put the books in, I looked up to see Liam leaning on a book case and I smiled beginning to walk towards him. Usually a hug was the common greeting for people around my age and despite the hate I had for my church I was still a good girl in what my father had taught me.


Other then a hand shake any physical contact was pretty much out of the question. If I was sitting on a couch, I would always move to make sure I was on the other end of whoever else was sitting there so our shoulders didn't touch and had the second party been male, that he didn't try anything else. Sure there had been temptations along the years and sometimes I craved that contact when I was feeling lonely, not in a romantic sort of way but just to have someone to hold me and tell me everything would be alright. However I had stayed pure in every sense, I had never dated, never kissed a boy and obviously never gone anywhere past that. Sure it was probably silly to most but it was one thing to scorn my father and another to go against everything I had been taught. Maybe one day I would kiss someone or date but it just seemed so very crazy to do so.


"Fancy meeting you here," I said to him as a came to a stop, "I'm sorry about this morning," I added honestly, it was embarrassing what my father had done to him earlier, and I knew he was in the right and my father probably had too but been to stubborn and proud to accept Azza's opinions and so on. I hated my father for it but there was nothing I could do now. I'd apologized and I hoped he wasn't too upset with me or them over it. I knew he had every right to be, he had known the Lord and known what he really wanted and expected of us as humans but my father didn't and it could have offended him, though he had never shown it.


"What book were you reading? Or were you just waiting for me to show up, y'know, using your special future telling powers to know I would walk through that door at that time?" I asked with a smirk, it was a joke of course, I was only teasing him.


------------------------------------------------------





I watched as Angie came closer to me, crossing the floor of the library until she was standing before me, politely coming to a stop, her hands staying to herself and I was used to it. She was so pure and I didn't feel the need to pressure her, to touch her or anything of the sort. I didn't want to ruin things between us; we were friendly enough and touching in any way could make her uncomfortable. She was the first human I'd gotten close to in a while and I appreciated it. She was my first friend in this new home and I didn't want to lose that.


She began speaking and I shrugged, "No need to apologize. It's not your fault. You can't exactly choose who your family is." I said to her with a slight smile, knowing that I didn't blame her at all for what happened. Her father was who he was and she couldn't help the fact that he was a lying, scheming, disappointment of a pastor. There were just some things in life that you couldn't help. And he was beyond saving. He was too far gone to the point that he'd even convinced himself that he was correct no matter how morally wrong it was.


"I wasn't reading anything special. Just a dictionary." I replied with a smirk before I heard her tease and I rolled my eyes, "I wish I was capable of that. It would save a lot of awkward situations." I was joking as well, though it wasn't like I could admit that it wouldn't be an interesting gift, but it wasn't what He wanted me to have and therefore I wouldn't even entertain the notion of it. It wasn't like I needed the ability to see the future and therefore I was happy with what I had, though it was an interesting thought.


My human friend was entertaining and tolerable. She was willing to listen and she was calm, altogether... wise for her age and I knew that I was grateful to have met her. She was a good ally and a truly good person. The human race had always fascinated us, but they'd recently become so conceited, though she helped me keep faith in their existence; that there truly could be some good in them still. That despite how they were destroying their home, they weren't completely unsalvageable. But since the Renaissance, they had begun releasing their religious roots, the worship of Him, of the spirit who created us all.


And truly, there wasn't a face to Him. We only referred to Him as a male because it was of tradition that the male was more powerful and passionate, but then again, it was the female that birthed, that created and was the wise mother. Most religions put a face to the Entity as a male, but the Almighty didn't have a gender. No, the Spirit was above all of that, before the need for the male and female to procreate. The Creator was the beginning and the end, neither male or female, the middle grounds and the above for all.


In the beginning we hadn't had genders. We were just spirits, a living being. We had no mother, no father. Only when he had created the humans that we had chosen to choose forms, to model ourselves after them, though of course we had other features that we had taken from his other creatures. And he'd allowed it, allowed us to take a physical form to survive in and we had.


I was Azza, one of the first to come to the earth, to see and mingle with the humans. I'd chosen a younger age, a soft look of youth in the twenty-one year old body as compared to the distinguished choice of a thirty or forty year old. And I still loved this body thousands of years later. But I'd also taken the powerful wings of a waterfowl with slipped wing; a natural mutation that bowed them in a certain way that I'd thought was beautiful; even the freak of nature had been created by Him and I'd found his glory in the creation. I'd chosen to fit them to my size; in true form they arched high over my head by about six feet, their span close to thirty, fifteen on each side and they were magnificent. They showed the colors of a red tailed hawk's wings, their browns layered with blacks and cremes. Mine were just as lovely, though I knew that His creations were more impressive in the creatures they belonged to. Many more had followed this idea, choosing wings; some black, some white and all of different sizes and shapes, though mine were closest to that of the 'perfect' angel shape of today's standards with a coloration that fit me.


But these things would make us different and once Lucifer had gone through with his bunch, the humans had thought us evil and began trying to kill us, following the unique looks of our kind; the perfections, the wings, the horns of some, hooves, claws, tails, fangs, snouts... we all had our choices. I'd just always been obsessed with the idea of flying and as former spirits, we'd never needed to touch the floor. Wings allowed us to recreate that for ourselves. And I'd been so happy to have that back that nothing else was needed to keep me happy. But we'd learned to conceal them. There had been a time where some thought the only way was to sever their wings from their bodies, but I'd been too attached that I'd risked my life in keeping them until I had learned to suppress them; to use my powers to hide them. They were still with me at all times, just not in physical form. It was a danger to expose my wings.


-------------------------------------------


I gave a small smile when he said I didn't have to apologize for my father, that was yet another thing that I found I liked about Azza, he didn't ever seem to want or need the apology of a pathetic human to make him feel better. He wasn't searching for glory for himself, just the truth about God. Azza knew what The Lords purpose had been for the earth and yet when he had talked to my father this morning, instead of being angry and aggressive like my father he had remained calm with his stance and when he spoke. He never raised his voice much, if at all and was always humble yet definite in his own word and knowledge, though, not like my father. My father was going on the words of an imperfect human, a pastor who had been blinded by his own greed for money and had twisted perfectly good truths in the bible and made them up to represent something else entirely.


I was like an example of the garden of Eden, what my father had taught, and I believed to be true, was the fact that God had made a paradise earth for humans to live in, but when Adam and Eve sinned it was taken away from us and since then we had been ripping the world apart, taking her perfect nature and using it to kill her and us also eventually. I mean, people talked about 'helping' the earth and 'saving mother nature' but they're still killing her. And we can't put back the buildings and plastic and money into the earth and expect her to change them back to what they were before we used them.


"No, maybe not, but he was wrong and we both know it and he wasn't going to apologize any time soon." I replied before another smile broke my straight face, "And thank you for what you did today, I'll remember it forever, showing my father up in his church on his much defended territory. It was a good conversation to remember, I'm just glad I was able to see it." I added as I flashed back, there was no other pleasure I thought as good as seeing my father being told he was wrong and knowing that the other person was right. I could never peak to my father like that but Azza had and he had made my father look like a fool and an idiot and there was nothing better in the world that I would have loved more to see.


I rolled my eyes when he said he was reading a dictionary and shook my head in a sarcastic way of disappointment, of course I wasn't in the slightest disappointed, but I always had fun teasing him, though a part of me was always scared. Sure I knew Azza but I would never want to get on his bad side, it could have bad repercussions for me and I didn't want to upset him too much either, he was too important to me for that. But a little teasing he seemed to put up with and although I teased him, I tried to never push it. "You always did find fun in going through our words," I said quietly as my gaze drifted from him to wander around the room, the library was as it always had been, the same people, same books and same atmosphere.


Though, today it seemed a little lighter, a little less dark and there wasn't any real reason for that. There were the same amount of lights, same windows same everything really. I took my gaze back to Azza, figuring this light was either in my imagination or it was him. "Angel's really are fascinating creatures, to this human at least," I told him, though from without an explanation of my train of thought leading up to that statement he might have been a bit confused, either way, it didn't really matter, I wasn't looking for an answer, because my words hadn't been a question, they had jut been a random mix of words, though to me they made sense.


I raised my eye brows as what he said, "Oh really? You mean like this one?" I asked with a small smirk, thing like facial expressions like these were still becoming part of my behavior. Until jut a few months ago I would never have smirked or been sarcastic or tested anyone patience with a couple of teases. No, I had been the quiet, respectable, honest daughter of the pastor. And I had been happy for that a well, I knew my life, I had graduated from high school but I wouldn't be going to college, no I would get a job, a respectable one, work and study the bible while learning how to cook and maintain a house until I was old enough to be married off to a young spiritual man. Most likely it would have been an arranged marriage but now I had my own choices to make.


If I should move out, get a job and save for college or stay and pretend as if nothing had changed but still get a job and save. But right now I didn't want to think of my life and where it was headed, I'd never thought of it before, rather just been content in knowing my parents were choosing my life for me. And it was scary knowing that I was going to enter the world without any help or guidance but it was a challenge I was willing to take because I certainly didn't want to end up like my mother and father.


--------------------------------------------------


I heard what Angie said about remembering that conversation for the rest of her life and I smiled, shaking my head because I found it amusing that the argument had meant so much to her. "Well I'm glad you think so. Because next time it happens, he may not be left fully intact. He was certainly pushing it." I said firmly with a straight face before I cracked a smirk, showing that I was teasing her. I knew that I wouldn't harm her father merely because of the fact that he had irritated me, no, I wouldn't want to upset her with that.


But I was entertained with her mock disappointment in me when she heard of what I had been reading. Apparently my reading material didn't meet her standards, but I knew that she was only joking. We enjoyed teasing each other and I didn't mind it at all; it was nice to be close to someone after so long, but I knew that she was afraid of me. Angie always feared that she would push it too far and I found that sweet and so incredibly human of her. I appreciated that she worried about offending or upsetting me, but I was fine up to a few select subjects.


I didn't like talking about my betrayal of the Heavenly Father, my relations with other humans, others like me, and my powers. Those were a gift; sacred, like your virginity. They were the only thing that remained as a reminder of my time in heavy. They allowed me to cloak my appearance, to perform mediocre 'tricks' and such, but I appreciated them and was grateful for them regardless.


And I needed to. Otherwise I could possibly lose them and I wouldn't survive long with a pair of huge wings on my back and my 'glow'. In a way, all heavenly and hellish creatures gave off an 'aura'. Angels were pure; a blinding white. Demons were black, emanating an infinite blackness. As a fallen angel, I was in between, radiating a soft light that was dim and weaker than either of the two extremes. This was hidden by our powers, but only visible to others of our kinds to identify us. Hiding it from them was incredibly difficult as well and exhausting in a way, but it was supposed to be invisible to humans, though we all had little slips here and there. They were just extremely dangerous ones at that.


I didn't enjoy basking in my shame of how I'd left the Heavens. It was an awful thing to endure and I was forever ashamed of what I'd done, the guilt and disgust a strong part of those memories and so I never enjoyed looking back on them. And who would when you'd given up a perfect life for what the humans had?


I of course, like any person with at least a sliver of self respect, doesn't like reminiscing on memories of human affairs; of times when I'd decided to give in to their women's charms and join their beds for a night. I was supposed to be pure as an angel, but of course now that I was tainted with my fall, why refrain from enjoying myself? I wasn't going anywhere and I had eternity to waste. Holding back would only create a hell for myself.


Speaking of others like me was in a way, a kind of betrayal as well. It was giving away their stories, their identities and their whereabouts. That wasn't my information to give and I knew that if I gave it away, it would be betraying their trust and they wouldn't have any reason to hold back on my information either and I'd rather that they didn't tell humans that I was an angel, that I wasn't normal. It would just be drawing attention to myself when I needed to keep my identity hidden. Angie mentioned that angels were fascinating and I smirked, finding it interesting that she had just come up with that out of anywhere and I nodded, "Yes, but humans are more more intriguing, to this guy at least."


She mentioned an awkward moment like this and I grinned crookedly at my friend, "Nope. I'd save those powers to avoid seeing a naked man running down the street and licking people. It's just a matter of opinion and what you'd rather see." I replied with a shrug, "You're a thousand times better than any naked man."


-----------------------------------------


My eyes widened at his response, I knew he was fully capable of it also, he stood around a foot taller then my father, a lot younger and stronger and my father didn't know one thing about fighting. Of course Azza had every right to feel that way and I wouldn't hate him if he did beat my father into a pulp, but, as much as I disliked my father he was still my father and without him my mother and I would struggle. We couldn't afford him to be injured and go without his sermons and the money from the church. If Azza did decide to go through with his threat then the church would call the cops to hunt him down and select a new pastor and the money would stop leaving my mother and I would have to look after my father and both get jobs to try and keep our heads above water. But his straight face broke into a smirk and I let out the breath I'd been holding as I began to laugh but quietly as my shoulders moved with the laughing and I shook my head, "You horrible so and so," I said in a light tone, of course I wasn't upset.


It had only been a joke but I'd taken it seriously with his expression and tone, jumping to conclusions to believe what he had said. Something else I was still getting used to was common sarcasm, sure I used it but that was always frowned upon by my father because in his eyes sarcasm was just as bad as deceiving people and lying to them, so sarcasm without the direct words was banned from our household. But when I had silently decided not to follow my fathers rules and his church anymore, strictly for the reason that they were both of false intentions and deceit and lies, I allowed myself to be sarcastic, to enjoy a joke and to laugh at white lies when someone was making a prank. It made life more enjoyable to some degree rather then just having life being serious with no real light regard for jokes. Everything was always serious and it was hard to life that way, it was if everything was in gray, no color or light ever shining through.


But he said that humans were more intriguing then angels and I shook my head, "Actually we're not really, if you read enough history books you find that we're quite simple, we start off good then disagree and war breaks out until we go down into a spiral of self destruction, then a good person shows up and tries to fix things and it works for a while but then that person becomes corrupted and we start off in the circle again." I replied as I thought over bible times, an example of King Solomon and modern well Barack Obama, he was being corrupted by the political affairs he was being tied into. He had been a human light and I'd thought at the time that he was going to fix our problems and make the world good and agreeable again but it turned out not to be like that, he turned out to be like the rest of us; imperfect and full of faults, very susceptible to corruption.


I sighed at the thought, there was really only one way that the human race was heading and that was down. Soon enough we will have killed off mother earth and she won't be able to keep up with trying to balance out our pollution and when she goes we will perish as a race and the food chain and all animals will all perish with us. It was a sad thought, depressing as well, but how could we change the badness in the world? There was so much of it that it seemed we were past the 'Point Of No Return' and we were on a one track train. "Does God have any purpose for us?" I asked Azza as I took my gaze back to him, "I mean, father always said that he hated us because of Adam and Eve and that there would never again be a paradise, that he was letting us die because he was disgusted in us. Is my father right?" I added, my gaze wasn't cheerful, sadly my thoughts had gotten the better of me once again.


If there was no hope for man kind, I didn't see any point in living, what was there to live for? My life had been controlled for so long that it just meant I was also stuck on a one way line and I couldn't break free from it. I knew nothing about the world, and it wasn't like if I left my parents my life would be easy. I'd be out on the streets with no money, no knowledge and no experience to my name. I would be an object of prey for whatever evil was out there. And that alone was enough to fear me into staying with my parents and doing as they wished, I couldn't imagine a hard life and I wasn't sure that I would be able to manage on my own anyway. But I didn't want the life that my father and mother lead, that life was full of lies and false hopes. I didn't want to be apart of that spider web of lies and someday help my intended husband make one up as well. I couldn't bear to do that to anyone.


But at the same time I didn't want to die. I had Azza as my friend, and anytime I got to spend with him made the future seem a little more distant and a little less hopeless for me. Even just our small talk now, although my thoughts had turned negative, was a little hope for me that my life wouldn't be so whole bad as I thought it would be. But I knew this time wouldn't last forever then I would be back to reality, facing whatever problems I had and without Azza to help me through them. But then, I never really told him of whatever was really bothering me, it wasn't his job to help me deal with whatever I was going through, no, he had his own problems to deal with and I didn't want to burden him any further and I never would.


I smiled at what he said and gave a small chuckle, it was funny what he was able to come up with and I wondered if he had ever been so unfortunate as to see a naked man running down the street. I think if I would ever have to go through that I'd be sick but then thats because I'd never seen a man's body naked and I didn't plan to for a long while yet. Of course at times I would have dreams and fantasies about what it would be like to feel so passionate with a person to give myself over to them and feel what so many of my 'friends' at school described often. However, even a kiss was a far off dream for me, I was still naive completely in that department. I felt my cheeks skin have blood rush to them, though I hoped it wasn't that obvious. I knew, of course, he was a friend and I would never imagine or ask for more, though it wasn't often that I was given compliments. Boys at church would never dare to do that freely, let alone talk to me and I never associated with boys out side of the church, aside from Azza.


------------------------------------------------------------------


I was surprised by just how much she had believed me; of how she assumed that I was serious about harming her father; I didn’t want to do that to her, so I found it ridiculous that she’d even begin to believe that, though then again, she didn’t know me so well and I could be a dangerous person for all she knew and of course I was. I didn’t enjoy harming humans, but when it was necessary, I did it. Bar fights, death threats, rapists, murderers… these were all exceptions to my patience for the humans among with a few others who are in need of some serious self restraint. She called me ‘horrible’ and I couldn’t help the soft chuckle in response; she was so silly sometimes. Angie didn’t know what ‘horrible’ was and I was hardly it.


I shook my head at what she said, giving a small smile as she spoke about how humans were. ”I never said that your kind were good. Just intriguing.” I replied to her, ”You’ve always been interesting and unpredictable. You have no idea just how much we love watching you. And it’s the imperfections that make you perfect in His eyes.” But then she spoke and I sighed, knowing where her mind was; on that one way road to hell. ”The humans aren’t doomed, Angie. There is no purpose; He wanted a people to occupy this world that He created. He’s a creator for a reason; He never wants to stop giving life. This is paradise. He’s proud of His children; how far they’ve come in mastering their playground. Like any children you may get into spats over toys and someone can get hurt, but you learn to build bigger and better things and interact with others and at the end of the day when you’re tired from playing so hard, you go home. You die so you can return to Him. Like any parent He misses you and you’ll go when it’s your time to go Home.” I assured her softly, carefully.


”You father is wrong. He preaches that God is amazing and the best thing that should take place in your life, yet he makes Him seem awful. Your father is wrong beyond belief. I can’t even begin to tell you.” I smiled as I looked at her, hoping that she understood what I meant. I had tried to describe it in a way for her to understand, to be able to relate to. I appreciated my human friend and she was sweet for honestly caring about her life and what it meant to her Heavenly Father.


At least I had been able to make her smile and laugh at my suggestion of a naked man running down the streets licking people. But after a few seconds, blood flooded her cheeks as they flushed with a deep pink blush. I smiled, tilting my head to the side slightly as I looked at her questioningly. Was my innocent little human having dirty thoughts? I thought it was adorable.


The Father had given them instincts as a means of survival; of a way to continue their species. Hormones were how they knew to get busy with each other to begin procreating. It was a stage all of them went through and those feelings would only get stronger and stronger until they began their decline of reproductive health. Angie was too pure to not be a virgin and I loved that about her, though it wouldn't last forever. She'd give into those feelings eventually and she'd grow up and have a family of her own and the cycle would start again. It was a beautiful process and I'd remember my little human friend long after she passed on.


---------------------------------------------------------


I nodded at what he said, "Yes, I know, but how is self destruction at all intriguing?" I asked, not understanding what he was saying at all, how was the human race killing themselves off over time intriguing? I didn't get it, we were the circle of life, we were born, we lived and we died. But in that time some of us had exceptional lives, became movies stars, singers and made people lives better. Other people became scientists or geologists, people like them studied and gave us further insight into space and other plants, nature and how it worked. The smallest little intricate designs within a leaf and the cells and how they operated. That went hand in hand with naturopaths who found out what was wrong with sick people and made them better with natural remedies from plants and eating healthy. Other people studied the food, which had more iron or protein, or more acidic and so on.


But his next words confused me even more, "So He finds us perfect because of our imperfections? What about war? What about killing innocent people? How does He find any of that interesting?" I asked, not understanding how on earth God could find our war imperfections interesting or even tolerable. I mean sure, a little political fight was whatever but an actual war. Like World War One and Two, the war in Afghanistan that had been going on for years, and how many countless lives were lost and many more ruined because of the scarring material of the effects of war. My uncle had been in the war and he had been killed, but first he was taken prisoner and goodness knows what was done to him. Our only solace was the fact that his body was sent home so we could grieve and mourn his loss properly.


I could see that God may find our stumbling funny, when we made mistakes of how to construct a building and when plans to find ruined cities when a miss because the plan wasn't thought out properly, or even when treasure hunters and artifact keepers went hunting for sea buried priceless monuments and they went on a wild goos chase or something like that. All of that was very amusing, even I found it funny. And I could see how He would love to see our progress in technology or medicine and when we improved our minds with knowledge of such things, and on our history as human kind. History was important for us, it was the key to moving forward, so we could learn to see our mistakes and try not to make them again in the future, if we didn't then we would never got off this very same ferris wheel that never changed, went at the same speed and circled tirelessly without stopping.


He kept talking and I listened, what he was saying now wasn't as confusing, actually it gave me a little hope, hope that we weren't lost as a race. "So, what you're saying is that we are okay? We're not going to kill off the earth and the food chain, but we're going to get better?" I said, in more of a statement, only realizing that I'd been firing questions at him ever since we began talking and I felt guilty but I was curious and worried and he had the answers to my questions and I trusted him to tell me the truth, he wouldn't make things up to try and scare me like my father nor would he tell me what I wanted to hear either, he would tell me the absolute truth and I knew I could always trust him to do that. "Well, you knew the Big Guy, not me, it's just hard to get my head around it, but I believe you," I added after a while as I looked up at him again and nodded.


"Sadly, that is very true," I agreed as I thought of my father and took my gaze to the ground but shook my head, thinking of him only put me in a bad mood and I didn't feel like being annoyed or anything when I was around Azza. Moving my gaze to look back up at him and his new expression I narrowed my eyes, realizing he had seen my blush, "Don't flatter yourself," I told him as I turned and walked off, his reaction to my flushed cheeks had only increased the redness out of embarrassment and I couldn't bare to face him like that. I may have been pure in every sense but that didn't mean I was hormone free, or without desire, quite the opposite. Like every other teenager in the world I had wants and it wasn't easy staying pure either. I was curious to know what it felt like to kiss someone, did it electrify your body? Did it make you different in some way? I was still naive in these things.


Any attractive boy caught my attention, maybe not in the way that I was desperately in love with him but it did mean I could possibly have fantasies about him. And it didn't make it any easier that Azza was good looking either, he may have been a fallen angel but he still had good looks. And that was fine with me, because we were friends, and friends only. If ever I started getting lost within his looks all I had to remember was our difference, I was mortal he wasn't and he was just my friend, nothing more and if that didn't work then the thought of him catching me out of thinking of him that way was enough to stop.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------




"Because angels don't experience that. Angie, you were a bright new thing for us to see with a new place to explore."​

I told her lightly, quietly. She didn't understand that her kind were meant to enjoy this world, to figure out the 'secrets' He left for them to uncover. He made them a curious being and therefore they craved knowledge, so He gave it to them.




Of course they'd taken advantage of it and were slowly destroying the world He had given them, but He wouldn't turn his back to them. No, like any child, once their toy broke, He would fix it and make it all better. Or if He felt so, he would allow them to destroy the earth and they'd all come home to Him to stay until He decided on a new project.






Angie, I haven't seen Him in a very, very long time. I doubt He's happy with the wars, but emotions aren't popular up there. Those of us down here learned them from you. He's too good for anger or sadness. Angels are interested in watching the humans; their siblings in another world. God is merely the creator and eventually all of his creations will return to him... or so I hope."

I said quietly, knowing that I would want to eventually go back to my place in Heaven, but it had been so long; I didn't know how probable that was and I was beginning to doubt it, though I wanted to keep faith that I would be accepted once again.






"Only time will tell Angie. It's up to him what happens to all of you."

I murmured softly, not wanting her to worry about the future; it would happen long, long after she died. She didn't need to be concerned about that. No, that would be for me to worry about when the time drew near and all of the humans began dying off or were moved to a new home.




She told me not to flatter myself and I shrugged, smirking as she walked off and I gave her a couple seconds head start before I followed, figuring that she might want the time to get herself back under control. I didn't want her to be embarrassed around me, but then again she was the daughter of a pastor and she was raised to be proper. Thoughts like that weren't exactly acceptable in her father's eyes, but they were natural. Completely and utterly natural.






"Do you really think I care if you do, Angie? It's a compliment to me and it's what He decided for your kind to do. You're supposed to be on your fourth child by now already; he made you this way for you to be able to procreate rather than worry about jobs and such. It's completely natural. And I'm glad I chose an attractive body to manifest in."






-----------------------------------------------






I frowned at what he said, I understood that they wouldn't have didn't have destruction in heaven, God simply wouldn't allow His home to be lowered to the standards of His imperfect humans, no He would make sure His Heavens stayed clean, free from violence and disruption. Of course, no place could really go without disagreements but the Creator would know how to handle them if and when they did come up. He was the first being ever and he would always know how to make sure we were living our lives to full and he knew the way we would be the happiest we possibly could. But his Angels were much more perfect then humans were and so I didn't thin there would be may disputes between them. Besides Gods house was sure to be a happy place for everybody, not like here. Sure some people enjoyed themselves but others were slaving away or fighting for people the don't know.




He said he hadn't soon the Lord in a very long time and I nodded, understanding that, it was just that he was the first person in years, if not in my entire life to tell me the truth and nothing bu the truth, and I idolized him for it. To know that what he was telling me were not lies made me want to learn more and improve my knowledge on God, Angels and the Devil himself. I just wanted to have my information set straight for once, but too many question were simply too many question, I understood that and I would respect that he didn't want to be bombarded with questions off a low and petty human, so there would be no more for today. I didn't want to upset or frustrate him and risk our friendship. No he meant too much to me for that.




But he said that God was too high for emotions like anger and sadness and I could try and comprehend that, God didn't need those stupid emotions, they did no good to anyone, all they brought forth were ill thoughts and actions. Without negative emotions we wouldn't have war or death or sickness. It was curiosity, which could sometimes be seen as a bad emotion that had lead Eve to do act the first and most important sin against God, it was because of her and her husbands love and weakness towards her that we were imperfect, or so I had been taught. But good emotions, those of happiness, joy and love, God surely couldn't be above that. For he had created us for some reason and I according to Azza he didn't hate us so he must have some regard for us as humans, if he didn't love us that was.




But he said that only time would tell what Gods plans were for the earth, whether he would create or take us to another home or if he would fix our current habitat. I was rather scared of going anywhere else, this was home, it was all I knew and to have to start again was rather daunting but it was all up to Him and whatever He decided I would be happy with, rather then questioning. He was apparently a loving and kind God and I knew Azza wouldn't lie to me so I figured whatever he chose it would be for our best or at the very least whatever he chose would keep us completely and utterly happy and content.




But as I walked away I noticed he hadn't followed me at first and I was grateful because I needed to compose myself and try and let my skin go back to its original colour. It wasn't right to be having impure thoughts about the opposite unless that being was your marital partner and Azza was most certainly not my husband by a long stretch. But it just wasn't fair. Why did he have to be so dam well good looking? It just made it a lot harder. Just his face alone was enough to have my heart pounding if I wasn't conscious with my thoughts. His features and his jaw were strong and sharp, but at the same time they were soft and vulnerable, not in a childish way, more in a very attractive, sexy way. And his eyes, those eyes, I had gotten lost in them many a time, but hopefully he hadn't noticed.




I couldn't help it, they were so electric-ish sky blue and so vivid, they seemed to hold the key and secrets tot eh entire universe in them, but at the same time they were very down-to-earth and genuine. Not once during our conversations had he ever seemed in-genuine, he always showed interest of whatever we were talking about at the time. And the way he held himself, with a honest air, but he acted like he belonged and that he owned the place, just not on an arrogant way. However he did it, it worked and when I wasn't careful I was often having impure thoughts. Of course, they never ventured too far, I wouldn't allow that to happen. But I turned to face him when he began speaking again and kept my expression simple and straight, no emotions.






"Do what?"

I asked raising an eyebrow before shrugging at what he said next, even if it was a compliment to him, he didn't need it, I was sure he had his pick of girls and he didn't need a naive, pastors daughter's approval in any case. I blushed again, involuntarily when he mentioned that I was supposed to be on my fourth child by now, and that we were made to procreate.

"Well that might have been the plan but now we need money to survive and besides I'm not quite sure I wast four kids, birth control seems like a much more better option for when I... venture into that part of life,"

I replied, knowing that even if my father was wrong, I wouldn't give my innocence away just that like, it would be to my husband or at least a boyfriend I was serious about and he would have to be serious about me too.




Anything less and it would kill me to see him pick up and leave, knowing that I had given away something I could have waited to give to someone else who respected me enough to know what came with taking my last bit of innocence. However, I thought struck me, was there anybody I could trust? Every human was imperfect so the hope of having someone who respected me enough to be what I dreamed of. No that was a very blind, naive way to see the world. More rather he would seduce me with promises and charm, convincing me I had made the right choice only to use me and leave me broken hearted that I had made the wrong choice. With that, I didn't see the point of staying pure, husbands cheated on wives all the time and vice versa. There was no happy ending. So why not? Why should I hold out? What was the point? But I would have to fight that voice in my head shouting 'no'.




---------------------------------------------------------------------






Angels weren't perfect by a long shot. There was no hierarchy in His eyes, no we were just the first 'model'. He improved on his design and then we got humans. But we were allowed to stay in a realm closer to God, to actually communicate with him and therefore humans viewed us as better than they were. Of course we were pure in a way; we were spirits, nothing more. We had only the barest of emotions, actually only two; devotion and curiosity. That was the beginning of free will for Him. He improved on free will within the humans, to allow them to feel a much, much wider range of emotions so that they could make their own decisions. But because of these decisions, he took away Powers to keep them from causing too much destruction. We were graced with limited amounts, just small bits and pieces to keep us happy.




We could transport from place to place within our realm and cross freely between all three if we so chose to do, but of course I was stripped of those. We also had the ability to change forms; we'd gained what we chose as humans, but we could make parts of our body back into that original spirit form. And that was what we did to hide our abnormalities. Small changes in the elements such as creating a fire, a gust of wind, a wave of water or rain, lightening, an earthquake.... these were our abilities. Though in our realm there was another element. We'd called it Spirit. It was the strong bond between all of us; the link to the Creator. It wasn't as strong here and therefore it was harder to access, but it allowed us to bond with others, to see into their minds, to see their emotions and their bonds to others. It was all a very personal use and to humans they saw it as an invasion, but we had seen it as a way of speaking without words when we didn't have mouths. It had been normal to us and the closer we got to someone; the more we'd adjusted to their presence and how they acted and felt and thought, seeing these parts of them became somewhat effortless even without prying during that time.




But we'd begun to learn from the humans, to experience other emotions and it made us more and more volatile with the inability to control what we felt. Therefore the expulsion of some of the angels from heaven was based on outbreaks of sudden emotions other than the pure ones and we rebelled, ending in our block from heaven and then my unwillingness to follow Lucifer made me forbidden in the underworld.




Though...

"Don't ever believe that trash about Adam and Eve."

I told Angie suddenly, my voice deciding to break the silence between us while we thought.

"There was no expulsion from Eden because there wouldn't be this Earth if there was. Your people created that story to place blame for all of the suffering in the world on a woman and her charm because it was said to lead men astray. But it does because your men lack enough blood in their bodies to occupy their hips and their brain at the same time."

I said with a slight smile as I cut a glance in her direction, teasing her about the males of her race. But of course I'd taken the body of one of those magnificent creatures and therefore I was doomed to the same fate. Not enough blood meant one or the other and when all logic went out the window, it was just instinct of what to do that took over and reason was gone, leaving the male's body to do what it did best with its female counterpart. Simple enough.






"Sin is an awful word. It's only attempting to blame certain parts of free will on the influence of Lucifer. But all of you are holy and we can only make decisions that we choose for ourselves. Of course God expects the best of you as his children, but he understands your nature and how you feel. Lucifer is busy enough with those souls that have been sentenced to the Underworld for horrendous crimes and have been denied a chance at rejoining the earth. Of course we can influence you, but it's just as a friend would, merely speaking about how we should go outside and play hide and seek rather than play a video game. It's a subtle change, though with much more effectual choices that can lead into you becoming addicted to that lifestyle, but we aren't obsessive over certain changes and it's rare that we interfere. Humans choose to do wrong normally, but they also choose to do good as well on a regular basis."




Demons aren't nearly as subtle. The fallen angels that decided to plummet completely to the Underworld have been corrupted entirely. Their devotion had switched to Lucifer and so they obeyed him. They are dark and violent and still incredibly beautiful. Tempting beyond imagination, though they take a more forceful approach when they want to have fun. Mass murderers are formed, serial rapists, bombers. They are all persuaded by demons or are forced into it. Demons like to cheat as well; hold something over their heads such as a favor or the granting of any wish that will never come true.




My human friend spoke up, asking about when I'd said that I didn't care if she did and I smiled,

"Think of me. I don't mind if you think of me. I'm a man and you are a woman. Sex is a natural desire between the genders. It's an instinct and an interesting one at that; I mean, I'm not ashamed of thinking of you in that manner nor am I ashamed of considering any other women. It's the human portion of my mind trying to find a mate in the form of searching for the best partner to procreate with. Four children is a bit heavy, but your kind has been clever enough to cheat their nature to prevent such numerous births from happening."

An easy description of what we felt. In taking this body, I'd taken on a partial mentality of a human male; instincts to guide me in surviving in this body. But my eyes were changing color once again as my soul turned its emotions, instead of the electric blue of my excitement to see her and such, they faded to their usual deep gray and amber that flared through the center of the darkness, a sign of contentment in me. I was happy to be with her, yet the faintest extra tinge of red within the orange-yellow coloring surrounding my pupil signaled my arousal; red being a color of passion. The eyes were the window to the soul. Mine was just strong enough that it was able to project its emotions that blatantly.




It would be ridiculous to say that I hadn't thought of Angie in that manner. She was beautiful with pale creamy skin, dark hair that hung in curls and gorgeously vibrant blue eyes that stood out from behind thick lashes. She was a natural beauty; one that didn't need makeup to look good and her body only completed the perfect creation that was her. Angie had tempting curves, perfectly rounded, yet she wasn't heavy by any means. She had a decent chest, a flat abdomen and hips that weren't too narrow that childbirth would be disastrous, but not wide enough to seem excessive. Her bottom was firm and her legs were fit and long. She was... darn near close to perfect if she wasn't already, in my eyes at least. It was easy to warm up to her bodily because of the natural attraction, but I could point out similar characteristics in any woman that walked by just like any other man. She was just one of my favorites because she was my friend and actually dared to come close to me.




-------------------------------------------






He spoke after a while, like a sudden outburst, a sharp snatching from my taking of thought, but his voice hadn't been angry or upset, he was just speaking plainly. He told me that Adam and Eve, our first human parents hadn't been expelled from Eden, but it had been a fictional story conjured up and twisted by the clergy, most likely, to be a story that made us believe that the sin and badness in this world was because of women and their charm, that is distracted men and lead them astray. I had never completely believed that story, not everything bad in this world could be because of women and their charms. No, wars weren't created from such things. Wars were created over the greed and the hunger to have the most power, control and respect of other human beings. Sometimes it was to defend the innocent from the heartless, malicious killers who had nothing better to do then to start a war with hostages while demanding things. Often it never really turned out well for them.




But he also mentioned that the reason men were so easily persuaded was because they didn't carry enough blood in their bodies to keep their hips and their brains sustained at the same time, actually it was a rather keen observation, it explained why teenage boys especially seemed brainless, all the blood in their hips got them to think with that area.

"So, what you're saying is that because women are smarter then men we've been blamed because we have the ability think with our heads instead of our hips?"

I asked, my lips twisted in a small smirk, I was simply teasing him as he was male also, and he might have been a spirit creature but he was still in a human form and after what he had just said and what I already knew men were weak when it came to an attractive woman who gave suggestive looks or acted in certain ways.




But he went on to explain that sin was a bad word and it was used to blame Lucifer for all the bad things in the world, that we had our own free will and we used it, though the way he explained it, he made it seem as if there was no sinning and that was perplexing, how could there not be sin? Sinning was swearing, blasphemy and fornication to name a few. Yes, they were done on free will but it was still sin... wasn't it? I didn't get it and even when he explained that angels gave us little helpings along the way, little suggestions, just as a friend would and that sort of made sense. I figured they just wanted to help us to do the right thing, rather then doing something stupid or destructive and it was a similarity to the whole 'guardian angel' thing, though I knew that they were not guardian angels. That sort of thing didn't exist, it just wasn't the way the world worked.

"So, are you saying that there is no sin?"

I asked him after a while, once I had figured out the one question I needed that would answer probably everything that I wanted to know, but in a simple way. He had given me so much information that I doubted I could take in much more without the side effects of a head ache.




However he answered my question of what he didn't mind and I blushed, once a again, a bad habit I would have to learn to break out of, it was embarrassing and gave away my innocence and sensitivity towards such subjects as these ones. He may have given me permission to think of him that way but it still didn't make the situation any better, I wasn't supposed to allow my mind such thoughts and it was even worse whenever I practiced those thoughts, made them more natural and I couldn't afford to be like that, because that lead into temptation and if I gave into the temptation and lost my purity then I would be frowned upon and it would reflect badly on my father, then he would know and it would create trouble for me. All a series of dominoes, but then, if I chose someone outside my church it may not get back to the congregation. It was just the thought of handing myself over to someone when they were simply using me was off putting. Half the reason I had stayed pure was because I had dreamed of waiting for someone who loved me and wouldn't leave me afterwards. I was a stupid child dreaming for a fairytale when they didn't exist.




Though he openly admitted to thinking of me in that manner and I couldn't help but going more red in the face, of course he had said other women also but it was simply fact he had mentioned that he had thought of me that way. I wasn't sure whether to be offended or take it as a compliment. But I didn't have time to think of that now, no, if I needed to I would reflect on that later. Now was not the time, I didn't want to let him see that I was pondering over his comment. Of course I had had thoughts of him in that manner, it was hard not to, but that didn't mean I was going to be as open as he was about it. Sex in itself was still a very big subject for me to talk about, let alone telling him that I had had thoughts in that manner about him. However he continued speaking and I was glad, I didn't particularly want to make a response to those words. I shrugged when he finished speaking,

"Yes well your human mind seems to have gotten the better of you, Azza,"

I told him a small smile twisting my lips upwards.




I nodded when he mentioned the cheating of numerous births,

"It's one of the good things about humans, and I think it's quite a good improvement, gives us room to enjoy our lives more as women without having it stopped nine months or so at a time."

I added with a small shrug, knowing that whenever I did choose to give in to a man I would most certainly take advantage of the preventions of child birth. But his eyes had changed colour once again and I watched them as they changed, almost losing myself. They had gone through a phase of fading into a darkness that was the shade of gray and with a burning of amber, a deep yellow and orange-ish colour. But there seemed to be something deeper in colour as his eyes took on the transformation, a sort of redness, but I wasn't sure. I needed to know what this colouration was and so I took a step forward, almost unknowingly as I examined the colour of his eyes, though focusing on one for a better understanding.




He had, once again entranced me within his eyes, the very small orbs that were so intoxicating that I was almost certain I would lose myself completely if I stared at them long enough, which was why I had to be careful not to drift off into dream land, however, the sudden change in his eyes, the new colour that had taken over his electric blueness. But once I had studied them long enough I realized that it was a red colour and I wondered why the change, what was the emotion he was feeling that made the change within his eyes. Though it seemed as if the amber of yellow and orange were in a dance with the red, like a burning flame and I was captivated.




----------------------------------------------------------






Angie had the idea to state that women were smarter than males and I gave her a naughty smirk as I leaned in a bit closer,

"Would you like to run that by me again, Ang?"

I asked her, my eyes glittering dangerously in response to what she said about females being smarter than males. But of course this was only in playful teasing.

"I like to think of us on level grounds. I mean, women can think with that lovely sweet spot between their hips if they choose to, but women are irrational and naturally link pain, fear, anger, and any other extreme emotion to crying because they need a man and his logical thinking to keep them safe. You might be able to take advantage of us, but inevitably, we're the constant in your lives that would bring home food and keep you safe. The mentalities balance out because they're smart in their own ways. We just feel lightheaded a lot more often."

I replied simply to Angie with that same naughty smirk, teasing her with the small innuendo. Nothing too overbearing.




But then she questioned my view on sinning and I shrugged,

"Most of what your kind considers sinning truly isn't. Swearing? It's a series of grunts and noises that you decided mean something bad; another idea that you just assume. Worthless words that mean nothing to the creator. Stealing? It was never truly yours. You only created the illusion in your mind that you had some right to it, so when someone takes it, it is merely sharing what He gave you all to have. Sex? Come

on

, you were literally born to do that. Waiting for marriage is ridiculous. He doesn't care. That was only something put in place to make a man feel special about taking a girl as his own; that she would only experience him in her lifetime; it's a control thing. Now murder is a real sin. It's ending someone before their time. Rape is harming someone in an intimate way without their consent, stripping them of their choice and humanity. Rape is a huge no-no. Murder or killing has its... exceptions. What you call cave men weren't punished for killing others that came too close to their families for comfort. They didn't know any better. But blasphemy is the worst sin you could commit. Saying his 'name' in vain is ridiculous because he doesn't have a name. He doesn't even have a gender, so why would it matter to him. He loves us all no matter what, but denying the Creator's existence is what will gain you a sentence in the Underworld."




She had blushed when I told her that I'd thought of her in a few fantasies and I found it adorable, yet I knew not to press my little human too far with the sex talk. She was still a bit put off by those things and I didn't want to make it any worse for her than it already was. She mentioned that I had gotten carried away by my mind and a light blush found its way to my cheeks in response, but I just gave a shrug. My human mind had issues of its own. I wasn't oblivious to the fact that it turned me into somewhat of a pervert. But it was human nature for males.

"I'm sorry, I feel like I'm talking your ears off."

I told her quietly, knowing that I'd talked quite a bit to her and she probably needed time to process all of it.




Though suddenly my eyes had consumed all of her attention as she even moved in closer to look at them and I watched her, though after a few moments of her staing and not saying anything, I became worried and so I reached out and gently gripped her hand in mine; the first touch we'd ever experienced with each other. I pushed my way into her mind, but she was questioning the colors within my eyes.the red in particular and I smiled slightly.

Red. Passion. Desire. Amber. Warmth. Contentedness.

I placed the thoughts in her mind, wanting her to have an idea of what it meant. I wasn't going to hide from or lie to this human. That simple. If she wanted to know what my eyecolor meant, then I'd tell her.




But her hand was incredibly soft and smooth, her warmth radiating from her palm into my hand, her energy vibrating strongly to me as I caught a wheel of emotion from her. I was interested in what she was feeling, but I didn't want to intrude too much on her mental choices and feelings.




----------------------------------------






I shrugged when he asked me to rerun my opinion again,

"Not really, no. I think you heard me just fine the first time,"

I replied, my own smirk spreading over my face as I responded to his look by settling a determined look in my eyes. I narrowed them playfully when he went on, of course he was right, women could think with their hips also, it was human nature to want that intimacy and closeness to another human. But he was right, males were, for the most part, more logical then females. We were more emotional then they were, our mood swings were effected by a range of chemical over balance in our brains that males experienced less, and we needed them to be there, steady and logical, just like Azza had said. They were capable of more then we were, they were stronger and in the animal kingdom they were made to protect their families at the times.

"Yes, that's true, because they work so hard, to come home and find their partners dressed sexily waiting for them, would make them feel lightheaded."

I replied with a smalls smirk, I may have been uncomfortable admitting fantasizing about him and sex was a touchy subject but I wasn't apposed to a little teasing.




I only nodded when he talked about sinning, of course what he said was right. Anything could be made a swear word, it just had to be joined with a bad meaning or group of words, so he had gotten me on that one, it was just so hard to have all of my teachings in life stripped away in the blink of an eye. I knew they were wrong, I knew he was right, but for whatever reason, it was hard for me to simply give it approval. On stealing he had shown me God's view and it made sense too, He would have wanted us to share our goods just like any parent would want their children to share their toys. But when he mentioned sex it was what I would have liked to hear, that there was no real point in waiting for marriage, that I was allowed to give into my hormones and strip away my purity and experience the feelings of someones else's lips against mine in the heat of the moment; the passion and desire being felt through the kiss, being able to feel my mans body and know what it felt like to be on a cloud. To have him take over and take me to a new level of pleasure while I did my best to make him happy as well. I could feel the butterflies in my belly, but good ones, ones that got the heat in my hips going as I fantasized.




But he was speaking again and I snapped out of my thoughts to listen, at least he acknowledge that rape and murder in the right situation was a sin, and blasphemy also was. I was content that he had agreed with me on those few subjects at least. Of course I could understand his passion about blasphemy being the biggest sin, he had been with the Lord in his Home and he would detest anyone blaspheming against Him. It was understandable and endearing that, though he live on Earth as a fallen angel, he still defended God through thick and thin. His faith was as strong as ever, or so I gathered from his words and he loved God.




He said something else but I hadn't heard, I was too far in with studying his eyes, like a tick embedded in it's victims skin. I was watching as the colours moves and mixed together but stayed separate at the same time. It was a graceful act, like a ballet and I couldn't bring myself to pull away from it. There was a warmth in these eyes, a warmness that seemed to offer a haven of safety, peace and... love. I knew that haven of love wasn't for me, but it seemed so wonderful in it's peacefulness that I wanted it. I wanted that haven, I wanted to be enveloped in it and wrapped up in it's warmth. I barely noticed his movements, but I immediately knew when he had touched my hand, it's grip was so gentle and kind and in response I felt a smile growing on my lips but my gaze didn't waver from his eyes, I didn't feel threatened by his touch whatsoever. Usually if a boy had tried to take my hand I would have snatched it away and took off, but Azza wasn't a boy, he wasn't a young and immature teenager, he was a man, a respectable man, who I felt completely comfortable with.




I felt a new sensation, my hand was tingling where his skin met mine, and I felt happy within his grip, I didn't want him to let go and I wasn't letting go of him as I kept a gentle, but firm grip on his hand. It was the first time I had contact with a male in years, the last was probably a hug by a relative when I was younger. But this type of contact had intensified the butterflies and I was beginning to feel like my hips were on fire. Of course, these thoughts weren't right, but I couldn't help it and I didn't want to help it, I didn't want to tell them to go away, I liked the feeling. However, I soon felt a new train of thought being pushed into my mind and I knew it was from him, he was explaining the meaning of the colours in his eyes. Red was the colour of desire and passion and amber was the colour of warmth and contentedness.




Once he had told me, or rather put it into my thoughts I could understand them a little better and I couldn't help but studying his eyes for a little longer. I dreaded the thought that the red was for someone else. I knew that he wasn't mine and he most likely never would be, but because of the emotions that our conversation and his touch had got me feeling, I didn't want to think that he could possibly be thinking of someone else other then me at that moment. It was selfish and stupid but it was how I felt for that moment and I didn't want it to end. But I wondered whether or not my own eyes reacted the same way with different emotions, I had never noticed it, but then it had never occurred to me. Then again, it could have simply been an angelic gift.




-------------------------------------------------











She had challenged me back and I raised an eyebrow, but then she gave a tease and I grinned, "You have no idea. It's kind of like a kid on Christmas going through the boring clothing gifts and saving the best, giant one for last; his girl waiting at home." I told her suggestively, "The lingerie is just the pretty packaging to get through to the real gift underneath."


She understood all that I told her about sinning and what I believed and also just a bit about god, but she was lost in my eyes, though I knew that she enjoyed my touch because she didn't try to pull away and she gave me a small smile, though her gaze was unwavering from mine. But through the open bond between our minds; the bridge I'd created with my abilities, I was able to feed her energy, giving her just enough to make her emotions show, deep red bleeding through the blue which told me she was either furious or incredibly aroused. Which I automatically took as the latter of the two; a more attractive idea and it made sense. She was practically trembling with need from holding hands. Imagine what a kiss could do. The idea was incredibly tempting and thrilling to have her as my own; to give her her first kiss.


But then green formed a ring around her pupil within the crimson flower. Gorgeous, but she was envious. I pushed that information into her mind in the form of a question, Jealous? I was a bit rusty on using this skill, so I could only give main details to give the gist of what I meant.


Human eyes changed somewhat with their coloring; nowhere near what angels did, but they gave the very slightest shade naturally, only noticeable to a trained eye, but with my powers flowing through our contact, hers were nearly as vibrant as mine now that I was opening the window just a bit to allow her soul to shine through more clearly rather than being dominated by the genetics that composed the body that housed who she truly was.


I turned how I was holding her hand, shifting my fingers so that our palms were now flat against each other, our fingers intertwined as I focused, a small smile finding its way to my lips as the corners of my mouth twitched up slightly. And I believe you're the one whose thoughts have gotten a bit carried away. I was aroused of course; it was a natural response to what my thoughts had been about her, but she'd taken it further to where she was practically steaming with the heat of her need.


I was flattered that this lovely human was so turned on by my presence, but she was a virgin and therefore she didn't know the full extent of what being turned on could really be like. I enjoyed the fact that she was fantasizing so deeply about what our bodies could do together.

 

[Graysc]

I rolled my eyes when he said it was like a child at Christmas, saving the best and biggest one for last, but I snorted when he mentioned the lingerie, "I wonder why then that women bother at all with the lingerie, if men don't appreciate it," I replied, "What's the point when it's obvious what they want?" I question, of course I was only teasing him but I wasn't about to let my side of the conversation go down. I didn't know what men did and didn't like, I hadn't been rebellious enough to research that and find out, it hadn't made any sense to anyway. I hadn't needed to know since my intended husband type wouldn't be interested in anything like that, he would be a pastor in training, just like my father had been when he was younger and my future husband was supposed to be focused on God and how to bring the light of Him into their world and give them hope and happiness within their hearts and souls, he wouldn't have time for procreating like that unless he wanted a child. That's the husband my parents wanted for me, but I wanted different. I didn't want a lonely marriage where I barely spoke to my mate and never had romance within the marriage. It would be like being sentenced to being a nun, except for the pregnancy and childbirth, but that wasn't anything to look forward to on my own and I wouldn't want to bring a child into this world and having them fated to the same life I lead, no, I just wasn't that cruel.


I didn't know how to break free from his gaze, there was something so enticing about it that I could have just stood there all day, like an intricate painting where the artist had designed it so carefully that no matter how long you looked at it there was always something new to find and study and be enveloped in. But he pushed a another thought into my mind and I blinked, my gaze wavering from his as my cheeks flushed and I took my gaze to the floor, rather embarrassed. I hadn't realized that my own emotions were showing through to him also. Thinking about it, it made sense that it was a two way road, I shouldn't just be allowed to understand his emotions while he couldn't read mine. However, his grip changed on mine and I felt his fingers slide between mine while our palms rested flat against each other, the sensation of the hold was almost overwhelming, this was all new to me and it was the suspension and build up that I had made for the feeling of holding someones hand like that made it all the more exciting. I knew it was a simple act, but it was more to me, I had never held a males hand, except my fathers when I was younger, learning how to walk or something like that. The feeling was odd, indescribable but I liked it, it was addicting and comforting. But he gave me another thought and my cheeks went even more red as I slipped my hand from his, immediately the sensation in my fingers and hand going numb, he was yet again right. I had let my thoughts get carried away he now knew that, it was humiliating. He was a friend not someone I was supposed to be fantasizing about.


Besides it didn't matter if he wasn't a friend, they were improper thoughts, not the thoughts that should be running through the mind of a pastor's daughter. Whether or not my what my father had taught was true, I still wasn't supposed to be thinking about Azza in that way. Biting my lip I lifted my gaze slightly, though I didn't meet his eyes, I couldn't or I knew I would be sucked in again, I was still aroused, though now I was actually fighting those feelings off before anything got out of hand. I had wanted things to get out of hand while I was lost in his eyes and our fingers were intertwined and I would have done anything he had suggested, I was sure of it. But had that happened I probably would have regretted it later on and besides if anything happened I would have wanted an attachment and I had no right to ask that of him, so it was better to stay distant. "Yes, they were, and I apologize for that," I replied in response to the last thoughts he had given me.


I didn't know what else to say, it seemed almost awkward, it was awkward. I had gotten carried away with a few simple words, the touch of his hand and the colour of his eyes. It was stupid, and I had put myself in a position that I didn't know how to deal with. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do or say. What happened next? Was I supposed to pretend that nothing had happened, that the last few minutes hadn't existed? I wasn't sure and I was worried about it as well. But I didn't to mess anything up with Azza, I liked having him as a friend.

 

[willow44]

I smirked at what my friend told me and she did pose a good argument, but it was all about how the gift was presented that put the cherry on top of the whole experience. Too easy of a girl and we got suspicious just how if a random person on the street told you that they were giving you a stack of hundred dollar bills that would equate to a million dollars. People just weren't that nice. And which was why if a woman was too easy, you could expect that she was looking for money in return for her 'services'. Too many ribbons and bows which made it impossible to get into would be frustrating and so if a woman was too difficult to get with, you'd become frustrated and eventually give up on even trying. A classy woman in a lacy little number is an incredible sight and it's all too perfect of a situation to ever turn down. Obviously.


I knew that if Angie was waiting at home for me like that, I'd have her in bed in twenty seconds flat. Or even faster if she was naked. She was too good to pass up no matter what she was doing or wearing. If she offered herself to me, I'd accept immediately. A virgin was a rarity these days and I'd make sure that she enjoyed every single second of that time. I'd take care of her, but of course I had no right to be thinking in that manner or even considering myself lucky enough to do that. My little human friend was perfect and she'd choose a guy one day who would make her happy and she'd end up with him and a lovely baby to show for their love and I'd be happy for her of course. Angie deserved nothing but the best. She was an amazing girl and she'd had a hard life filled with her father's incorrigible behavior.


She suddenly tugged her hand from mine and I gave her a shocked look, unsure of why she'd done that; I hadn't been expecting her to pull away and it truly was a shame that she had. I was already missing her touch, the absence of her contact leaving my hand chilled, but of course I wasn't going to outright complain. I calmed my expression as the bit of magenta blossomed in my eyes, the pink purple flowering out just a bit in concern for my friend as it overtook the red. "Angie... I'm not upset with you." I murmured once she apologized for how she'd reacted to my touches. "Ang." I gave her a small smile, gently touching her upper arm in a way that would keep fabric between our skin and it was a purely friendly gesture. "It's natural. Don't worry about it." I told her lightly, not wanting her to be ashamed of how she'd behaved in relation to me.


"Hey, how about we go sit down and I'll get you a coffee?" I asked her after a few seconds, knowing that they had a little coffee machine in the back room for people to have some. It wasn't anything special, but she needed to calm down and I didn't want her upset with me either when I was to blame for her hot and bothered state. My poor little human was craving relations and I didn't want to leave her hanging, but I didn't want to satisfy her and have her hate me for it when all was said and done, so we both needed to take a few deep breaths to cool ourselves off and get our heads level once again.




​

 

[Graysc]

I immediately saw his shocked look and I felt guilty, he didn't understand how even the slightest touch affected me. Just holding his hand had sent tingles over my skin, a few words and the gaze and colour of his eyes had gotten me aroused to a degree where I was ready to do anything and everything he could have wanted or suggested without arguing. He had melted me down to be like a love struck puppy and he had all control. And I had been happy to submit to him, to have him take control because I trusted him, I knew he would take care of me and I had wanted to be intimate with him, to have such physical closeness that there were no gaps between us whatsoever. I hadn't felt that way about anyone ever before, sure maybe a few fantasies but nothing that serious. Nothing that had gotten me to a state of desperation, and he had succeeded with that with only a few small actions. I didn't know how he had been able to do that but whatever it was, that feeling was some I knew I was going to crave to feel again in the future. But, I wasn't sure who the person would be to make me feel like that again. It certainly wouldn't be someone from church, boys from there, even young men, weren't capable of that. They were too restricted by my fathers law that were apparently from the Bible. I knew that it was all made up rubbish but it was part of my fathers elaborate plan of controlling people.


But he spoke, telling me that he wasn't upset with me and I looked at him, though, not directly in his eyes, I couldn't afford to be drawn in again. He gently touched my upper arm and murmured my nick name in a comforting gesture before he told me not to worry about it because it was natural and I nodded, though this time my skin wasn't tingling, probably because of the material of my shirt between us. But the problem was, I did want to worry about it, maybe not in the normal way. But I liked that feeling, I hadn't wanted to let go of him and lose it and now it was gone I felt almost upset that I no longer had it. Now I had a better understanding of why people enjoyed the desire of their partner and why sex was so common. I knew it was most likely that whatever I had felt was nothing compared to doing it but if it was even a fraction of what that felt like, it only increased my desperation of wanting to give in. But the other part was that I was worried about was that I couldn't help but want Azza to have some of those feelings as well, and it worried me that I was wanting that. I had no right to wish for that and it would never happen.


However he snapped me out of my thoughts with words that were in the form of a question and I risked a glance in his eyes, they had changed colour again and I quickly looked away before I was dragged in and I wanted to keep looking at them, thus risking getting those feelings again. I looked up towards the direction of the coffee area and nodded slightly, "Yes, please, a coffee would be good," I said quietly, though I wasn't sure exactly whether I wanted to or not, coffee could mean talking and talking mean coming up with something to say and I wasn't sure of what to say. I probably would figure something out when I had pushed the thoughts of what had happened previously to the back to my mind. I glanced at his hand once more before taking my gaze forward as I started walking towards the back room. I guessed now, he would simply forget what happened and act as if it had never occurred and I hoped that I would be able to also, though it had meant something to me, where as I wasn't sure whether or not it had meant anything to him, I figured no because he had had plenty of physical contact with women and holding ones hand most likely held no importance to me. It had to me because I had never held a males hand before.

 

[willow44]

Evangeline had agreed to coffee with me and I was incredibly relieved that my little human didn't want to run away from me. I wasn't capable of influencing her emotions. I could create comfort, but that was it. The Creator had given us that ability because he'd wanted us to be able to have some kind of camaraderie between each other and also if we happened to be near the humans, it was to help them through death. In a way, we were like older siblings to care for our younger ones; the humans. But of course we'd never viewed it in such a way and we never were expected to. We loved the humans and we'd taught them to love the Father, we'd kept them warm with fire and given them rain in droughts, we'd helped them along a bit with calendars and as far as we could get them until He stepped in and told us to cut it out; that they needed to figure it out on their own.


She was my human, my lovely, lovely girl. She was innocent and naive, yet she'd come to me and decided to befriend me despite my title as a fallen angel. I loved my little human for that and she was a wonderful friend; I wouldn't trade her for the world, yet I knew better than to step in as anything more than a friend. She was too good for that and she needed to be with her kind. Though of course I feared that they wouldn't treat her well; that they would misuse their time with her and take advantage of my delicate girl.


And that was why I was here. I was her friend and I was playing the part of a modern fantasy; a guardian angel. They weren't real. I was merely a friend who needed a friend as well. She kept me sane and I did the same for her as well as keep her beliefs safe. Her heart didn't need to be pure and she didn't need the Bible or church to believe. Faithfulness to Him wasn't measured on attendance or on money or on words someone made up. No, it was in whether or not she truly believed and was grateful to him for the birth of her lineage and this earth as her home.


I followed her into the back room, walking over to the coffee machine and grabbing two styrofoam cups for us. It was free for avid readers; ones that were here often enough to actually discover this room, so we had no qualms with helping ourselves. I poured two cups of coffee for us before handing her one of them, figuring that she would need to add her sugar or milk or whatever she wanted, but I drank mine black.

 

[Graysc]

I entered the back room, and walked towards the coffee machine, getting a couple of long life milk containers as he got the coffee's for us. I took mine from him and set it on the bench, "Thank you," I replied as I shook the little containers and poured them into my coffee before reaching for a plastic spoon and stirring it so the two liquids combined. I threw the empty containers into the bin along with the spoon before going to sit down in one of the chairs as I looked blankly at the table. I was still shamed of I'd done and how I'd acted towards him, it wasn't right, but he seemed fine by it and it was comforting that I could let it go and hopefully we could forget it. In a way it was good it had happened, it showed me just how different we were from each other, that no matter how much I wanted to have more between us of and to have that feeling again, it just wouldn't happen. He didn't think of me as anything but a friend and I had no right to ask him to attain those feelings. I knew, that over time I would find a human, maybe become romantically involved with him and we might possibly date, but people said the nothing ever compared to the first time you desired someone like that it never felt same again no matter who the other person was.


But that was the price I was going to have to pay because I had allowed myself to be drawn in by him. However, I didn't blame him, nor would I ever blame him. It had been my own fault, my own doing. However, that wasn't to say I regretted it, I didn't. I had enjoyed that small window of desire and want, desperation for more. All of those emotions were something I wished to experience again, and I would, hopefully, one day. But I wouldn't ever forget that time with him. It meant something to me, it had been special and I would always look back on it fondly. I realized there was a smile on my face as my muscles that were used when smiling began aching and I let the smile fade away slowly. It didn't mean I wasn't happy or anything, I just didn't feel the need to smile right then. I took a sip of my coffee as I thought about the last colour change I had seen within his eyes. It had been purple, and it had taken over the red, I frowned slightly, wondering what it meant. He had said he wasn't upset with me but I wasn't so sure. Taking my gaze from the table I looked over at him, "What does purple mean?" I asked him, "It over took the... the red," I told him, being hesitant when I said the colour red, he had told me it meant desire and passion and when he explained what it mean I wanted to be closer to him because it had gotten the heat in my hips going more, I had wanted that red to be for me, I wanted to know that that yearning I had felt for him was being returned even if it wasn't as intense as I had felt it. But that was where it all came crashing down, my dream shattered because he would never feel that for me and it hurt. I knew it shouldn't, but it did. My mother had warned me about that too, that the first time I liked a boy, I would like him too much, that I would grow attached too attached to him and I wasn't sure, but I assumed that this is what she meant. And i would just have to get over it, like any other girl lusting after a boy.


( Sorry, I've hit a bit of Writers Block )

 

[willow44]

She prepped her coffee and I took a few sips of the scalding, bitter drink before I followed her over to the small table against the wall, taking the seat across from her as I set my cup on the table, my forearms resting with it as they gripped the sides and I looked at my human as I waited for some kind of sound, reaction or expression from her and it took a while until she began smiling. And she didn't stop for a long period of time until it slipped away completely, but even without being able to see her emotions in her eye color, I could tell that she was still happy despite the fall in expression, but I understood and that was all that mattered.


But after a few moments longer still, she spoke up, her eyes raising from the table to meet mine as she questioned purple. My magenta. "Concern. Concern overtook my arousal for you." I told her simply, knowing that both emotions had been for her. "You'd dropped my hand. I thought I'd done something wrong." That was the whole truth and nothing but it. I'd wanted to make it all better for her; for her not to be upset with me or frustrated with her body. But I was relaxed now as I took a sip of the coffee, steam still rising off of the cup as it burned my tongue. My eyes had faded back to my amber and dark dusky gray color, resembling human as much as I probably ever would compared to my other colors, but it didn't look much like human coloration and therefore it wasn't much use. My eyes always stood out unless I used contacts, but I didn't like covering up what He gave me. And that was my soul.


"I'm not just human, you know." I told her carefully with a smile, knowing that she didn't know about my wings. "When I got to choose this body, we also were able to choose whatever else we wanted to decorate it with. Some chose horns, claws, beaks, feathers, tails... I got wings." I told her just a bit smugly, but I was changing the subject so she didn't have to stay on it and I didn't want to either. I didn't want to upset her again and therefore I was ending it there and bringing up another supernatural part of me. "I could show you sometime."

​

 

[Graysc]

He told me that the purple colour had been concern, but I had given him that concern by dropping his hand and he had thought that he'd done something wrong. I held back a snort when he mentioned the last part. Like he could ever do anything wrong. It was practically impossible, he was perfect in almost every way. And this time I wasn't thinking with my hips, no, it wasn't just his physicality that made him perfect. It was more the way he was always truthful, but not to the point where it was a hurtful truth. More that he called it how he saw it. But he was never harsh or cruel to me either, I couldn't remember a time that he had used a cold tone with me, instead it was always the opposite. He was always kind and caring, but thoughtful as well. He didn't just tell me things because he thought that's what I wanted to hear, no, whenever he really thought about something he gave it his full attention and it seemed with things he cared about too, like God and his faith in the Lord. And there were a million other little things that made him like that, they were subtle things but they made him perfect in every sense. And I hated the thought that he had ever thought that he had done something wrong towards me. It just wasn't fair, I was only a mortal human, I didn't matter, the world didn't need me. He was far more important then I was.


But he had also mention that the red was for me and while I felt a surge of happiness and joy, I pushed away any thought on the matter, or at least tried to. I couldn't go back to hoping or I would wind up wishing for too much and it would eventually ruin our friendship. If need be, I would find some boy to date and get my mind off anything beyond friendship with Azza. It would be for the best anyway. To be anything more then friends would be frowned upon by many people and possibly others of his kind. Actually, I wondered what God would think if anything was to evolve between us. Would he be angry? And with who? Or would he be accepting? I wasn't sure and I knew I shouldn't be thinking of things like that anyway, it wasn't helping our situation. I took my gaze away once more to the other people that were moving around us, in particular my gaze singling out the males, those who seemed around my age, then more specifically the good looking ones. I picked one after a while and watched him as he browsed through a few books before finally setting on one, he wasn't bad, tall with a little muscle definition. Certainly not iron man material but he wasn't the worst I'd seen. I didn't really care anymore about staying pure, like Azza had said, there wasn't any point. God didn't care so why should I?


However I heard his voice again and my gaze traveled back to him as I turned my head to face him as he spoke and I raised an eye brow. "Oh really?" I asked the corners of my mouth twitching up in a small smile of curiosity, I knew he was really an angel, a spirit creature, but apparently he had another addition to his already mind boggling existence. He explained that with the body his kind the other fallen angels were allowed to choose whatever they wanted to add to themselves. He mentioned a few of the imitations of animals and I raised my other eye brow. "Fascinating. I don't understand why they would choose animal parts but fair enough, I suppose their curiosity is... respectable," I said with particular choice to my words, I didn't know whether or not it was a touchy subject and so I wanted to tread lightly so I didn't step on his toes, so to speak. But he said his addition or 'decoration' had been wings, and they way he said it, he seemed rather proud of them, smug even, but only the slightest bit. "Oh? Why wings?" I asked, interested why he hadn't chosen what his fellow companions had. But he offered to show me some time and I nodded a small smile creeping onto my lips. "It would certainly be a sight to see," I replied as my smile expanded.


At the moment I was able to keep my gaze on his easily because I knew what they meant and there wasn't much that was there to draw me in, but every so often I looked away, flicking my eyes back to the young man I had been looking at before, just to stay on the safe side. I didn't want to be setting any bad habits.

 

[willow44]

Angie turned away, instead her eyes focusing on the few males that were wandering around the library. None of them seemed particularly special in any way, but it looked like she'd chosen one or as I liked to think, settled on one. I didn't want to think that she actually admired him enough to want to choose him. Her eyes followed him around and I could feel my jealousy flaring up a bit, a deep green cracking through the amber, yet I kept a completely neutral face as I patiently waited for her to turn back around, to give me her attention once again. And eventually she did when I'd spoken and I gave her a pleasant smile as I looked at her and spoke, but then she was replying to me and I was glad to have her focused on me rather than the other guy. It was selfish and wrong, but I didn't care. He wasn't good enough for her; at least not in my opinion and I only got a small amount of time with my friend here and there or at least that's what it seemed like and I didn't want it being spent with her looking at other guys. I wasn't ogling girls and therefore I expected her to keep it in her pants as well even though she was in a certain heated state, or at least coming out of it and it was excusable that she was looking for people of the other gender. But she wasn't looking at me, suddenly bringing to mind whether or not she'd even been aroused by me or just what could've happened.Though I had no right to be upset by that; she wasn't mine and I didn't want her to be. She was my friend. That was it.


Our choice of conversation had gotten her interested by the looks she gave me and I felt almost smug in a way to have her eyes back on me as I listened to her responses. "Well we had no form. The Father decided to give us a chance at choosing our bodies for our own and so we chose things of beauty. The Earth was so new to us and we were fascinated by the smallest things, but we chose what suited us." I explained to her the others' decision on what they chose; the logic behind it all. But then of course she asked why wings and I shrugged, "The new body weighed me down. I missed being weightless and so I chose wings. Others chose them too just because of the common nostalgia we were all feeling, but of course we can't exactly put them to use in this day and age. It's truly a shame humans refused us or we could all be open and at peace with your kind." I said lightly to her before taking a sip of my coffee, already bored thanks to how she kept glancing at the other male.


"Go talk to him already. He'll like you." I told her quietly as I got to my feet. "I'm going to go look at some books." I placed a hand gently on her shoulder, giving it a light squeeze before I walked away, even more green blossoming in my gaze thanks to my envy of the boy who had her attention. I couldn't even hold it for a few seconds since she spotted him. I wasn't going to abandon her, no, I would keep an eye on her; to ensure that she would be safe. She really was a catch; a lovely, innocent girl who was incredibly smart and attractive and healthy. It really was a rarity to find someone like that these days because of all of the STD's that were going around. No, she was pure and fun and she'd make any guy happy, so she had nothing to worry about in the area of whether or not he'd like her. On the other hand, I was the jealous friend off to the side who'd be watching her. Discreetly of course; I wouldn't ruin her chances by acting like a creep, but I had half a mind to.


Though it would be healthy for her to see the boy, to mingle with someone her age and from the same kind of mentality that she was. She needed someone to fall in love with, marry and breed with. It was what all humans were meant to do and it was what I'd watched them do for thousands of years. Nothing was possible between us; nothing could ever come from our friendship and I accepted that. But it didn't mean that I wasn't possessive of her.

​

 

[Graysc]

As I turned my gaze back to him I noticed a new colour within his eyes, this one was green and it stood out most profoundly in it's colour. It wasn't exactly a bright green, more of a darker shade,maybe emerald or something of the sort, though I wasn't any expert on colours and shades. However, what worried me was what this colour meant, I didn't know for certain but over my life some colours had been tied to meanings and I had come to know green as envy and jealousy. I couldn't understand anything that had happened within the last few moments that would make him envious or jealous unless it was the other male. But if it was that then I didn't understand why. Of course I had been jealous with the thought of him thinking of another woman but that was different... well not really, I'd gotten jealous when I knew full well out relationship was only ever going to be as friends, yet that didn't mean I was alright with him thinking of another female in my presence. I had no right to be that way but it was simply how I felt. Though, despite whatever he was feeling his face stayed very neutral, never seemingly offended or angry nor happy or even a smile. I took another sip of the burnt caramel coloured liquid as he spoke and listened intently, though having to take my gaze away every so often because it was something in that green that was enticing and the other male just kept my feet on the ground, reminding me that I couldn't get lost in Azza's eyes again.


He told me that as angels they had no form and I nodded, "That makes sense then, like a magpie with shiny things, your kind wanted the exotic and beautiful things," I said, though he didn't need my conformation, "And while we're on this subject, I thinks it's you fallen angels who are the children like ones here, humans may go for pretty things but we don't attach them to ourselves." I added with a cheeky grin to show I was only teasing him. But he continued speaking and I raised an eyebrow at what he said, sure it made sense to want to feel weightless again but I didn't understand how in the middle of a word full of humans he could expose his wings. "But how did you use them? I mean, didn't it risk your identity by exposing them and the possibility of having a human seeing you?" I asked curiously, if he had found a way then I was happy for him, he should be allowed to use his wings but like he said my kind refused fallen angels and sadly they had to keep their gifts a secret. It was rather a shame, I thought, it would be much better if they could be out in the open and show the world what they were; magnificent creatures descended from heaven. It didn't matter how or why they got here they were still incredible creatures and we should have treated them with respect and awe, not shunning them and practically locking them away in a corner never to been seen as anything except human.


However he spoke up again and I gave him a guilty but hurt look, I knew I had been looking at the other young man but it was only so I didn't fall terribly far in with his eyes again. However he didn't give me a chance to explain, all he said was that the male would like me and that he was going to get some books. I watched him go for a few seconds, not really sure what I wanted to do, whether I was going to talk to the unknown young man or go after Azza. I decided on the latter, considering I had never started a conversation with the opposite sex before and my friend hadn't been all that happy and I hated making him unhappy and besides he needed to know what was actually going on. I pushed my chair back slightly before standing up and walking after him, not bothering to dispose of the coffee cups. Taking long and quick strides I nearly caught up to him, but instead I just reached for his hand and tried to pull him to a stop. It was an odd feeling, being the one to encourage the contact, I'd never done it before and it seemed so strange that I almost let go. But I couldn't, I'd offended my friend and I needed to make it better and I'd do whatever it took to accomplish that. "I'm sorry," I blurted out, I meant it too but I didn't know what else to say, "He was simply a distraction so I didn't get caught up in your eyes again. Not that I wouldn't have liked to... but that's not the point. I didn't want you to just get up and walk away, who cares who he is and whether or not he'll like me, you're my friend, we were having a conversation and I upset you, and I'm sorry." I added as I looked up at him, I didn't want to see the green there, I didn't want him to be jealous. He had nothing to be jealous about, even as a friend I would rather be by his side then anyone else's and I would be if he asked me to.


(Is that colour too bright? I can change it)

 

[willow44]

She teased me on how angels were more childish in how they attached different things to themselves rather than just admiring their presence like how a human would and I rolled my eyes, knowing that it only meant that we had more power. And in a way, we were childish because we had no knowledge of anything but the Father before the humans came. They'd taught us of love, of passion, rebellion, just.. everything. We'd been pure and had chosen to model ourselves after them. We'd been so entranced by their world that we'd fallen in love with it and longed to be like them, to feel and experience such wonderful things that they could. We'd been childish of course, yet we were older and wiser. We'd known our powers and with our curiosity, we'd been able to discover so much more in a smaller amount of time. Humans were merely too dull to want to influence their anatomy with features of a cat or a butterfly or an elephant or even totally embodying a mouse or horse. We had imagination and belief and our purity had persuaded our Father to give us this freedom. She'd asked how we used them and I gave a sad smile, "There used to be a time when we all coexisted in peace, but when we fell, we became noted as demons and we were hunted, so we learned to hide." I told her quietly, knowing that I missed them; the ability to fly and to show my whole self and not just the half that would make me seem 'normal'.


But I'd walked away down one of the aisles of bookshelves before taking another turn, but I heard the sound of feet behind me, closing in, but before she could reach me, she grabbed my hand and pulled me to a stop and so I did, my arm reached back behind me as I collected myself for a second, hearing her blurt of an apology. It seemed as if she was trying to make amends for what she had done and I knew that what I was feeling was ridiculous. I had no right to be jealous of her, of what she was thinking about with the other male. It wasn't my place to intervene or even feel hurt. I was a friend and therefore I needed to encourage her relations; to be happy for her when it was digging deep at my chest.


She responded more elaborately as she tried to describe why she'd been looking at the other male and she admitted that she had a weakness for my eyes and she'd only been using him. She was gaining back her footing with me step by step as she told me that she was sorry, that she didn't mean to upset me and he didn't matter. The green was fading, slipping from my gaze as I turned to look at her now, just taking in her honest look, not a trace of deceit anywhere in her expression or tone. "We don't get to spend much time together, Ang and I'd rather it be for us. I don't look at girls in this time and it's not exactly fun to have you watching someone else while we're speaking." I told her flatly, my hand tightening slightly around hers as I actually gripped it, but of course it was gentle and I wasn't hurting her at all. "I understand that you'll need to find a mate at some point in time, but I'd appreciate it if you at least gave me a heads up." My voice was soft as I looked at her, not wanting to upset her now, but I wanted her to be fair with me as well when it came to these things.

​

 

[Graysc]

He told me that back in history angels and humans had existed together in peace, but when they became fallen angels it had changed everything because they were noted as demons. I could understand that because my father taught us that God banished the Devil and his demons to the earth because they were no longer accepted in the heavens with him. But that was wrong, as with most of my fathers teachings, however, if he taught it then it was most likely other clergymen taught it withing their churches again, and anyone having faith would have seen fallen angels as demons. It all made sense but ti was horrible, Azza was by no means a demon and I doubted any of his other fallen angels were anything like demons. And it limited their gifts, that was wrong, they were made to be able to fly, even as spirit creatures they were weightless as he had told me before and limiting their gifts was going against them. We had no right to do that, and just because people were so stupid, so power hungry and greedy that they believed everything the priests and pastors taught them meant that Azza couldn't use his wings. It was making me rather angry and quite frustrated. Why couldn't people act smarter and see the loops and flaws within the church? Why did they need so much to be socially right that they would take in any and all of the lies fed to them?


But he didn't look at me straight away and it made me worry even more, to think that in my blind innocent act I hadn't thought of how it had effected him and if I had actually hurt him badly. However he faced me after a while as he started to talk and I watched him as the green began fading and I felt a small wave of relief wash over me, though I wasn't completely reassured he was happy with me and I wasn't going to stop trying to figure whether or not he forgave me until I was completely happy knowing that he did forgive me and he was happy as well. But when he spoke the words stung me, he hadn't upset me, it was just that I had hurt him and he had every right to be upset, even angry with me and I had been so horrible in just ignoring how he felt, actually not even checking in the first place to see how he felt about me looking at other males. I had been selfish without thinking of him first and his tone was flat but it had the correct edge that it needed to, he was right. I would have been cranky if he had been looking at another girl while we were speaking, hell, I was even jealous just thinking about it without having anything to go off, but he had, he had caught me in the act of looking at someone else.


However I was slightly more hopeful that he was forgiving me as he actually gripped my hand and I forced myself to keep my gaze on his rather then looking down at our hands, despite having held his hand before it was still a weird sensation, but I didn't mind it more to the fact that I liked it. But I mentally slapped myself for that, now wasn't about me, it was about him. Making sure Azza was happy. I nodded when he told me to give him a heads up if I started looking for a mate. "I know you don't look at other girls while we're together and I'm sorry that I did, but I won't let my eyes wander anymore, there's plenty of time to be doing that when we're not together," I told him in a way of a promise, I could look for someone to like and to date when I wasn't around Azza, I didn't need to make him sit through that, there was no point. The green seemed to be gone now and if it was still there I couldn't see it, however I slipped my gaze from his just to the floor, just a short break so I wasn't drawn in. I had never met anyone with eyes like his, no one who's eyes were the key to their emotions and that was why I was so easily caught up within them. However I heightened my gaze to our hands, gently sliding my fingers between his. I wasn't sure whether or not he would be alright with that, but I was only really asking for forgiveness without speaking and I took my eyes back up to his as I did to watch how he would react to it.

 

[willow44]

My friend's voice agreed to my condition; that she wouldn't be looking at other guys when we were together, but the way that she said it made my gut clench slightly; she had stated that she had 'plenty of time to be doing that when we're not together'. But it was reasonable. I had no reason and no right to be upset about that for real this time. She wouldn't be around me when she was looking for other guys and I had no right to lay claim to this girl, so I had to find her terms agreeable and I nodded in response. It had been disrespectful when she'd been ignoring me to concentrate on other people when I was speaking with her, but she wasn't going to do that again if she was telling the truth and I held her to her word. She wasn't a child; she had the capability to tell me something and mean it with the responsibility of not lying to me. It was that simple. If she was lying, I'd be extremely disappointed in her, but then again humans weren't perfect and I couldn't expect them to be, but she was different.


She slipped her slender fingers into the spaces between mine and I sighed, curling my fingers over the back of her hand as I completed the 'lacing' of our fingers and I leaned down to press my forehead to hers, my eyes closed as exhaled slowly before my eyes opened once again, "I'm sorry for overreacting." I told her quietly with a smile,giving her hand a gentle squeeze before I pulled back, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable with my proximity. I was happy with the touches, but she wasn't accustomed to any kind of contact with anyone other than family and I was afraid that I'd overstepped the boundaries when I'd pressed my forehead to hers. I didn't want her to be upset with me.


I wasn't going to push her anymore today. I held her hand and pressed my face in close to hers. That was enough; I didn't want to upset her with a too close proximity. "Let's go finish our coffees." I offered to her, wanting to go back to our drinks so that we wouldn't be wandering around. I just didn't want her to be looking at other guys despite how she might feel about my eyes. When I was with her, they were hers to look at all she wanted and it was cute when she got carried away, but I wouldn't pressure her and I understood that it might not be what she wanted.

​

 

[Graysc]

I heard his sigh before he curled his fingers over the back of my hand and I looked at him with a worried expression, I wasn't sure what the sigh was for. Was he upset with me for lacing my fingers with his? Did he not want any physical contact with me? But he had leaned down to press his forehead to mine, such a simple and innocent act but I couldn't help smiling as he did so as I watched him close his eyes and I followed suit, closing mine also. My skin tingled where our forehead touched and I couldn't help but wanting to be closer to him, to be held by him and to have my arms around him. Not as a romantic act, well, it was in a way, but at least my mind wasn't wandering any further. I just thought a hug would have been nice then. The difference with Azza was that I was comfortable around him, I was comfortable with a few touches. Previously I hadn't been but that was the anticipation before I knew what it felt like to have the touch of someone else's skin against mine in any way. But now I had held his hand it made not much difference to me, in fact, I was wanting more, but he didn't need to know that and I wouldn't tell him either. I didn't want him thinking that I had lost my sense and was unable to think with my brain. I was able to do that but it was just for that moment that I wanted a little more. But he pulled away and I opened my eyes again, shaking my head as he apologized, "You didn't overreact in any way, it was my fault, I was rude and disrespectful," I replied, "In fact, if you ever apologize for anything, doesn't matter what it is, I won't speak to you again." I told him, knowing that he never did anything wrong, I was always the one at fault, as much as I didn't like to admit it, it was true. He was too wise to do anything that would offend or upset me, or anyone in that matter.


But he mentioned going back to our coffee's and I nodded, returning the smile. I was glad to see him smiling again, it was a very big relief. He could have been upset with me still and I wasn't liking that idea, but it was my own fault I had upset him. I turned to head back towards the back room, though I didn't bother letting go of his hand, there was no real point, as there was no point in holding it either. I was simply something to do. But I looked back up at him as I started walking, as if asking for permission to hold his hand. For the next couple of times that we hung out I would be tentative to whether or not I was annoying or upsetting him. I didn't want to do any further damage and whatever he said I could or couldn't do I would accept without arguing. It was his choice and I wanted to have this friendship no matter what it meant in terms of consequences that could possibly take place at him. I couldn't be bothered to pretend anymore, not in a lazy way, in a way that I was sick of following after my father and pretending I didn't know any better then his teachings, that I didn't know he was wrong. But the thing was I did know that and I wouldn't be continuing with this facade for much longer. My father and mother could deal with it and if they decided to kick me out then fine I would find somewhere else to stay or even get my own place in time.


"Have you got a current book you're reading?"




​

 

[willow44]

She stated that it had been her fault; that she had been rude and disrespectful and that she wouldn't speak to me again if I'd ever apologized to her again, but I rolled my eyes, knowing that I wasn't going to stop apologizing just because she told me to. No, I was happy with her, but she didn't understand that I wasn't like that. I apologized when I felt bad for something I did. That was normal for any human to do and I'd learned from them well enough. I didn't want to abandon that manner. Besides, I didn't want her worrying about what she'd done any longer. She was finished with her ogling of other boys and we'd called a truce on that bit of time and it wouldn't happen again. I trusted her on that and I appreciated that she'd make an effort to keep me happy. It really was sweet of her and of course I would return the favor. I had time other than when I was with her to look for girls, but of course no matter how much I wanted to have a relationship, I couldn't. That would be futile because nothing could ever happen between me and a woman that would be long term. A baby was out of the question because nephilim births killed their human mothers; they couldn't handle the stress of bringing such a strong life force into the world. Bearing a child that is half angel always ended in the death of the mother. I couldn't father a child unless I wanted to kill off the mother and therefore I had always been careful to take care of myself and keep from impregnating any of my partners. I never stayed close to them because I didn't want to get attached and when I would get attached, eventually talk about a baby would come into play and therefore I avoided it at all costs. I didn't need a child. I hadn't had one this far and I never particularly wanted one before therefore I didn't want a relationship with my lovely little human. She was a friend and that was it. That was all I could allow us to be.


We began walking and she suddenly dropped my hand, though she seemed to regret it a few seconds later as she looked at me as if she was asking for permission to have it back and I reached out to lace my fingers with hers as I walked with her to the other room. She asked if I had a current book that I was reading and I smiled, shaking my head, "Not currently, but I've just finished with Finnegan's Wake. It's rumored to be one of the most difficult your language has to offer, but I don't believe that it's anything special, rather it's very bland and undeveloped." I told her simply as I took her back to our table and took my seat once again, holding her hand under the table once she'd taken a seat with me.

​

 

[Graysc]

He picked up on my question and reached for my hand, lacing our fingers and I curled mine around the back of his hand as I gave a small smile, glad he was alright with holding my hand. I knew, of course, it was a thing couples did, but we both knew that there wasn't going to be a relationship between us. He had his reason's for not wanting a relationship with me, the probability that he thought of me as just a friend and nothing more, or the fact that our species difference made it too hard. Whatever it was I had to respect them and it would simply be something that I would have to hide from him. The fact I liked my friend in a romantic way, even only a tiny bit meant that I was, again, at fault. I was breaking the rules of friendship. Friends weren't supposed to have feelings for each other any more then just friends, and he had kept his end of the bargain, well as far as I knew, but I hadn't. I had failed our friendship and he knew this to a certain degree but I wouldn't let him know of anymore then he already did and, if possible I would make him believe that I wasn't at all romantically connected to him in any way. And it wouldn't be that hard, my eyes weren't as open about my emotions as his were, if they were at all and I knew how to put on a facade, my entire life was made up of a facade, one between me and Azza would be easy and beneficial because I didn't want him to hate me or think less of me in any way so a little deception would be good. And it wasn't as if I was lying to him, it was simply that I was keeping him from knowing everything so I could preserve our friendship.


I nodded when he spoke again and I laughed when he said he had just finished reading Finnegan's Wake, shaking my head as I did so. "For goodness sake, Azza, that is one of the hardest books to read, I've never tried personally but I honestly couldn't say that I ever will, no one I know has successfully read that book. And I don't think it's bland I just think it doesn't meet your intellectual needs, which only proves how much more ahead and smarter you are then the human race." I replied with a smile, that book was so hard to read that not many people attempted it, or so I had heard anyway. I sat down once we had reached our table and gave a smile when he kept my hand in his even after we had sat down. "Is that why you were reading the dictionary? Because nothing human was interesting enough for you?" I asked teasingly as I reached for my coffee with my spare hand and took a sip.

​

 

[willow44]

I smirked at what my little human said about the book that I'd read. At least she was entertained by my reading selection; she'd even laughed. I shook my head, "It doesn't mean anything close to me being smarter than the human race, Angie. I've just been reading since your kind started writing." I replied simply with a small smile, knowing that I'd merely had the time to absorb their knowledge over the thousands of years I'd been alive. "And I read the dictionary because it helps calm me down. How can you stay angry when you can read thousands of words all in precise lines with strict patterns and structures. It's incredibly soothing to me at least because it distracts me in a simple way rather than having to comprehend a ragged storyline and plot with ten different personalities." I reached out with my free hand, my fingers wrapping around the styrofoam of my cup as I just held it, the warmth radiating through a bit and after a few moments, I raised the cup to my lips to take a sip of the hot liquid that had cooled from its previous scalding temperatures.


I had no problem with holding her hand. It was pleasant and I gave a small smile after a moment as I thought of something, "Do you have a mirror on you or something- wait, I have an idea." I said as I looked at the window between this room and the rest of the library; a kind of peekhole for us to watch what they're doing. But a small portion of the window on her side was covered by a bookshelf, creating a dark reflective surface. "Look into the glass there and focus on your eyes." I instructed her, before I gave her a small zap of power, opening up a current to run between us as her eyes lit up with vibrant color, though it seemed dimmed a bit when reflected in the dark mirror, but it was still very visible compared to her usual color.

​

 

[Graysc]

I shrugged at what he said about not being smarter and he put it on the fact that he had been reading since we started writing, which was thousands of years ago, so I could guess that he had to deal with those harder languages before and probably made these books seem easy, child's reading. But he said that he read the dictionary because it helped him calm down then asked me how, by reading thousands of words in precise lines and patterns and structures and I laughed. "I think what you mean is how boring that would be. Where's the adventure? The interesting plot line that draws you in and doesn't let you put the book down?" I asked and shrugged when he mentioned that the plot lines were ragged and with ten personalities. "That's the fun of it all, figuring out the plot and the personalities and the characters. Even poetry has it's own plot line, short maybe but deep and meaningful. Books written well can take you far away, as if you don't exist anymore and you're transported into the world of the book. It takes you away from reality and let's you create a fantasy world," I added as I looked down into my coffee, only then realizing I had pretty much told him the entire reason why I read so much, it was sad but I had taken to books to escape my reality.


I looked back up at him once he spoke again and I saw the small smile on his face, being unable to resist returning it with one of my own, but his words confused me. I shook my head, I did have a mirror but it was tiny meant for checking make up and so on, but he told me to look over at the glass doors and I frowned, yet did as he said. Looking at my reflection I focused in on my eyes, "Why am I doing this?" I asked him until I felt his zap that shot through my hand up my arm and I giggled lightly, it hadn't hurt, actually it was a gave my arm a funny feeling, like it was being tickled. But I didn't waver my gaze, apparently he was trying to show me something and I saw the colour of my eyes light up, they seemed darker then usual but that was because of the glass, however they were noticeably brighter and I smiled as I turned my gaze back to Azza, "That is so cool," I said, "What is it? Some sort of electricity?" I asked as I looked back to the almost mirrored glass but only quickly before I turned my gaze back to him.




​

 

[willow44]

Evangeline had taken it upon herself to describe to me exactly why she enjoyed reading books and it was interesting to hear her take on them rather than how I felt. I gave a small smile when she finished, "I'm sorry. I'm just used to the stories by now. The characters' names change, but the stories are pretty much all the same. And some poetry is good, but when you get down to the very core of what poetry is and structure and rhyming schemes and flow, most of it is trash. But I appreciate that you enjoy reading; it's a good habit to have and those fantasy worlds are what can either keep you sane or drive you crazy. It's walking a fine line." I teased her, referring to how some people could get lost in those worlds and depend completely on the books or the book could merely be for entertainment and can serve as an escape from your reality to give you a break from stress.


She questioned why she was looking in the glass for me, but when she noticed the power lighting up her eyes I smiled at her reaction as she turned her head to look at me, "Sort of. Just give me a moment to adjust it." I told her as her eyes turned back to the mirror and I watched as I redirected the power correctly and her eyes began showing her emotions; her eye color wiped away to show a swirl of a lovely pale pink and yellow; displaying her friendship and her happiness at this moment. A bit of baby blue striped through as well with her excitement. "Say hello to your soul, love." I told her quietly as I gave her hand a soft squeeze, my own eyes remaining their amber, though I had the same pink fuzzing around the edges of the sunburst of amber against the dark gray. "I'm giving you just enough power to allow it to shine past genetic barriers. Aren't you lovely?"

​

 

[Graysc]

I nodded at what he said and he had a valid reason not to find much joy in the books, he had been around for countless years and he probably would have read a lot in the beginning but he had explained it well, that the characters got different names but the plots were very similar. "That's fair enough then, I guess, but from this humans perspective, books are the best thing man ever created," I told him honestly, though as I thought about it there was something else that man had created and it was pretty good too, birth control. Books were great but when it came to having to choose over books or a lot of children, I take birth control any day. It just served as a better use to all women and while I remembered I would have to get some as soon as possible. Of course I didn't plan on being deflowered any time soon but it was helpful in other ways too, just in case of unwanted accidents as well. And besides, if I decided to actually go out and look for a guy that represented dating material I could possibly choose to give my virginity away to him. Thanks to our earlier conversation I had no reason not to go out and date and sleep with someone if I felt like it and I wanted to know what I was missing out on. People I had known at school all claimed it was the best thing on earth and I had been practically dying to try it and see how amazing it really was. And waiting for someone who was special was ridiculous, as much as I would like to believe that one day I'd meet a guy who was out of a fairytale or anything close to that it wasn't going to happen and the longer I waited out the more the yearning would build and I didn't want to get to a state where I just simply gave it away to some on a one-night-stand type of thing.


Though he said he was going to adjust it and I looked back to the tinted glass once more as he changed whatever he was doing, well he was using his powers to effect my eyes, but I just didn't know how. But soon enough it stripped away my genetically designed eyes as it was over taken by some pale pink and yellow, I had no idea what they meant but I would ask him after, right now I was still too interested in seeing that my own eyes could, with his powers, show my soul. It was scary but also very interesting and I couldn't get the smile off my face as I noticed a new colour, a baby blue. When he spoke I took my gaze back to him and smiled, "Thank you, for this experience, it's so weird, but a good weird," I said happily, of course I had heard the little endearing name that he had chosen to use and I felt my heart skip a beat but I refused to dwell on it any longer then that. It was a sweet gesture but there was simply no meaning behind it and I would learn to get used to it over time. He explained that he was giving me enough power to let my soul break through the genetic barriers and I nodded, trying to understand it, before giggling. "I wasn't aware that those three colours actually complimented each other." I replied as I held his gaze, seeing the pink that had broken it's way in and mixed around with the amber.

​

 

[willow44]

She thanked me and I smiled, happy that she was enjoying the show of her own eyes. She even giggled as she mentioned that she hadn't known that the colors would be so complimentary and I nodded as I looked down into her eyes, "They're beautiful, Angie. They remind me of dawn." I agreed with her with a small smile before I gave her hand a little squeeze before I released it, cutting off the flow of energy as I lifted my coffee from the table to press the rim to my lips, the drink just slightly below my preferred temperature as I wrinkled my nose slightly. While I was still warmed up from using the power from entertaining my human, I slipped my finger into the coffee about halfway down the length of the digit before I allowed some power to radiate from my skin, heating it back up before I slipped my finger into my mouth and dragged it back out as I cleaned the coffee from it. I then happily lifted the cup up once again and finished it off before I tossed it across the room into a wastebasket, unable to keep the small amount of smugness; of personal victory off of my face. Human males had come up with small ideas to keep them busy, but this was one of the more entertaining ones because it took skill to throw a cup forty feet and land it perfectly in a small basket. But of course I wasn't going to be spending all of my time throwing trash into a wastebasket.


I then turned my attention back to Evangeline, giving her a small smile, "So are you going to get any books? I mean, you certainly wouldn't come all the way here for me, right?" I asked her as I folded my hands on the table, but after a few seconds I reached a hand up to absently scratch an itch on my jawline as my eyes wandered to her lips, her hands and then her eyes as I took her in. I loved being around her and she was pure enough that I didn't feel too much pressure to do anything. I was able to keep my cool and not pursue anything farther than a friendship. I was happy to be near her, to just spend time with her. I didn't need romance to make it enjoyable; our time together was spent effortlessly because it was like this was natural for us. We got along just fine, though she was still afraid of me in some ways. She never wanted to anger me, but I knew that all out anger was never going to happen when it came to Angie. Also she feared touching. Not so much as of today, but we'd always remembered to be out of reach, to never exactly touch, but now that we were, she had gotten a bit too excited the first time, but it seemed as if she was enjoying it as she repeatedly tried to get my hand in hers. And so I was happy to give her that bit of contact; she was finally being introduced to being a human after being restrained so heavily by her father. That wasn't how a human should live and it truly was depressing that her nature had been so tightly bound and she was finally getting a release to do things that truly weren't 'bad' at all. Angie was so innocent and perfect and I didn't want her worrying about what she did. Her life was for her to live and she only had so much time to do that. If anything came out of this friendship for her, she knew that she didn't have to be a nun to be loved by God and that she was meant to have fun; to enjoy her life and blossom into the wonderful woman she was meant to be.

​

 

[Graysc]

I smiled at what he said a light blush coming to my cheeks, it didn't matter who paid the compliment it was the fact that the words were being given to me, I wasn't used to it and thus the blushing occurred with even the slightest compliment. "I didn't mean they looked good, I meant they didn't go together." I replied honestly as I looked down at my empty hand once he had let it go, with the lack of energy running through it my hand felt almost numb of feeling and I stared at it for a few seconds in a sort of fascination. It was weird, usually my hands felt fine but I noted it to being the adjustment to not having the energy he had been putting into it. I reached for my coffee cup and tried picking it up, while my hand could do the action, I didn't feel anything and when I tried to pick it up the cup slipped a little so I put it down and picked it up with my other hand as I took a sip and finished it off, though I didn't bother to get up and put it in the rubbish bin, instead I watched Azza as he dipped his finger into the styrofoam cup before lifting the cup to his lips and finishing it off, "What did you do to the coffee?"I asked as I turned my head to watch the cup sail through the air, over the room and into the bin. I blushed out of embarrassment as it caught the attention of a few other people and I turned my head back to the table, lifting my gaze to Azza, who had a content smug look on his face and I reached over to slap his hand playfully.


I nodded with a smile at what he said, "Well, I was planning on it, but then you got in my way and I haven't had a chance yet," I replied lightly before shrugging, "That's not really possible to have come here just for you, since I wasn't sure you were even going to be here. But I would have been quite happy to make the bus ride just for you," I added, and for that part I was glad he didn't have my soul showing because it was true, I would gladly go anywhere to see him and for no other reason and as a friend that was fine. I was always happy to spend time with him and while I had restrained from any contact before today now that I had taken away that wall I was craving it, however, I knew better then to ask for anything more from him. He would never view me as anything else then just a friend and I would accept that and find someone else to like, while maintaining our friendship also. It didn't matter whether I went out with someone, whoever they were they would have to accept the fact that I was going to keep my friendship with Azza. Of course I would see him less because my spare time would be taken up with my partner but I would still make the effort to see him every so often, whenever I got time. Though I didn't have to worry about that just yet, I wasn't dating anyone as of now and I gladly let Azza take up my free time.




​

 

[willow44]

I rolled my eyes at her comment, "Nah, they looked just fine, Ang. I mean, you like my eyes even when the colors don't look perfect together, right?" I asked her with a smile, teasing her about how she hadn't enjoyed the colors on herself when she seemed to get entranced by my eyes every time she looked into them. She had some pretty frustrating logic there, but I wasn't upset with her at all. No, of course I wasn't. This was just a little teasing between us on the account of eye color; nothing serious by any means. Certain points in time would require that I wore contacts so no one judged my eye coloration since it was cycling in an ever changing swirl of emotions depending as I felt. Unlike humans I wasn't barred by genetic coding. I was created by the Himself and I had no blood parents because of it. I had no barrier between God and myself, though humans did of course; it was called a lineage. Their farthest ancestor was created by Him and from then on their appearances were dictated by their genetics; how they'd mingled, evolved, and morphed over the thousands of years that led to their looks now.


She asked what I'd done to my coffee and I shrugged, "I heated it up. It was too cold." I told her simply with a smile, knowing that it was nothing special, but she smacked my arm when I'd thrown my cup away and I couldn't help but chuckle in response as I rubbed my hand as if that had hurt, "Geez, Ang. You didn't need to attack me for that." But of course it was obvious I was only pretending. She then spoke about getting a book and I couldn't keep from smiling as she mentioned that she would gladly take the bus to see me and I shook my head, "You don't need to do that for me, Angie, but I'll be happy to come to you if you ever want to hang out."

​

 

[Graysc]

I nodded at what he said, "Yes, but you're eyes actually do go together, I don't know how but you always seem to be feeling the right things at the right time to give off the perfect colouration. But my eyes weren't made for that sort of thing, yours were, my colouration had been made when I was born due to my ancestry, where as your eyes have had nothing to interfere with them," I replied, "And I guess that's why your colours are always more intense then mind were, more vibrant rather then pastel." I added with a small shrug, it didn't really bother me how my eyes looked like that because I hadn't been made to sport that varying colouration on my eyes. In fact I was almost sure that apart from when I was sad my eyes never changed colour and even then they only went into a deeper blue, not an entirely different colour like Azza's. But his eyes were interesting because they were made like that and because for me he was still a supernatural being, something that seemed more of a dream then a reality, though I was glad he was a part of my reality, life had seemed brighter since he had become apart of it. I wasn't sure how exactly but there seemed to be less sad and angry and happy and positive. Whatever it was I never I wanted to let go of it and hopefully I would never have to.


He told me he had heated up his coffee and I giggled before shaking my head, "Microwave, electricity and a heater, what is there that you aren't?" I asked, teasing him of course, I juts took great pleasure in joking around with him and watching his reactions with whatever it was I had teased him with that time. But he said I didn't need to attack him for throwing the cup into the bin and I knew he was joking and I decided I'd play along with it. Dropping my gaze to where I had hit him I took on a worried and guilty expression on my face as I looked back into his eyes, "I'm sorry, do you want me to kiss it better?" I asked keeping my expression and tone seemingly serious, but I wasn't sure whether he would but it or not, and I didn't really care either, it would be more funny if he bought into it but I doubted it because he knew me and I knew him, we were constantly teasing each other and having a joke, it's just how we were. I saw his smile to my previous and I returned it but shook my head, "That might not be such a good idea, but it's a sweet gesture anyway," I replied knowing that if my father ever saw Azza and I hanging out I would be screwed. Sure I was less then a year of twenty but my father was still my father and I had been a very good daughter since lately and he would be furious when he found out I wanted to discontinue my services to his church. "And it may be that I don't need to do that but I want to, there's a difference. And I always want to hang out with you, I would never not want to be able to spend time with you." I told him with a smile and I meant it, I was beginning to love Azza, not in the romantic way but as my friend I loved him.




​

 

[willow44]

I politely listened to all that she said about our eye color difference. Of course she was right; that my eyes were more vibrant because of her genetic barrier, but hers were only pastel because they were what she felt. A pastel blue was just a bit of excitement, her pink was friendship; any deeper and it'd be love, her yellow was happiness, but if it was any darker, she'd be feeling a range of more negative emotions. Her colors were only watered down a bit from what they should be. She should be happy with what she saw, though I had a feeling that she was. She had only been commenting on the color and therefore I wasn't going to argue this any further with her, "Well I'm just glad to see that they all mean you're happy." I told her with a small smile. And I really was. It meant that my human enjoyed my company. Evangeline wasn't upset with me and that was always a good thing. I never wanted her to dislike me no matter for how long it lasted. I was a fallen angel. Of course I was bound to make enemies here and I had them of course. I had killed before and I wasn't afraid to do it again, but having my Angie dislike me wasn't something I particularly wanted to accept. She was so perfect and sweet that I didn't want to lose her. Losing her friendship would be hard on me and I never wanted that to happen to us; I did love my little human and I'd grown fond of her company. She was a sweet girl and she really did make my day when we were together. Losing her would be losing some of the light in my life and I'd be back to generally keeping to myself and moving around to avoid the public.


She teased me about what I wasn't when I had so many abilities and I smiled, shaking my head, "Well, I mean I can't hold my breath for very long. And I'm not good with goats, so I'm not a good underwater swimmer or a goat keeper." I said, unable to keep the grin from my face. Of course I was serious about not being that good at either one of those things, but they were kind of ridiculous and random; they were just two things I could think of off of the top of my head.


She then asked if I wanted her to kiss it better and I pouted as if it had actually hurt and nodded as I gingerly extended my 'injured' hand, similarly to what a child would do, though we were both teasing each other and meant nothing by it. It was merely something to keep us entertained and to give us an excuse to play around with each other. Angie was fun to do so with, though of course I'd never push the boundaries with her. Nothing sexual or overly disgusting. I didn't want my friend being scarred for life based on what should have been a playful and innocent tease.


I heard her mention that us hanging out wouldn't be such a good idea because of her father and I sighed, reaching up to run my fingers through my hair as she told me how she would always want to spend time with me and such, "Then you might as well just move in with me." I told her with a smile, teasing her of course. I didn't mean it because I knew that she probably would never want to leave her house and defy her father just to move in with me. I had a small apartment, but there were two bedrooms and two bathrooms; I used to have a roommate who split the rent with me, but he'd moved out because he said I was a 'freak'. I had room for her, but of course I'd never expect her to and if it would make her feel awkward or.. more attached to me in a romantic way, I wouldn't want her to even consider the option.

​