Advice/Help Age of Roleplayers

[SilverRose]

Many people I have spoke to on here say they are uncomfortable with my age. While I understand it it's also very demotivating that the few people i have gotten to roleplay with me in the past most were never was as passionate as other writers whom of which have turned me down because of age. I am unsure what to do. From what I've found the ones from my age demographic don't fascinate me. I just need some advice on what to do.

 

[Deredere]

Surely there's someone out there that can see beyond age and only see you for your writing skills. I'm probably the majority of the demographic that's not as passionate (as you in the least). All I have to say is throw some bait for an interesting story and then hit them with the age.

 

[8_Stars_8]

hi!
i've struggled with the exact same thing, especially on this site. like you, i understand the reservations people have with role playing with a minor. i'm not sure i'd be all that comfortable with it either if i were to explore more mature themes. but i've also learned that if you behave maturely and speak maturely, people will take you more seriously. i doubt anyone would be uncomfortable with you dming them and asking to join their RP. put yourself in a good light, demonstrate the maturity they want. i've found that many people can be lenient with this rule, given the proper assurance that you'd be mature enough to handle heavier topics.

- star

 

[GojiBean]

Many people I have spoke to on here say they are uncomfortable with my age. While I understand it it's also very demotivating that the few people i have gotten to roleplay with me in the past most were never was as passionate as other writers whom of which have turned me down because of age. I am unsure what to do. From what I've found the ones from my age demographic don't fascinate me. I just need some advice on what to do.

Greetings!

I'm 32, and I personally have never bothered asking any other role-player's age because, as the saying goes, age is just a number. In no way does one's age represent how skilled someone is, how intelligent, how passionate, or how dedicated they are or can be.

Don't let the ageism bother you. Just put the people who badger you about you age firmly on your "Ignore" list. Those kinds of people have their priorities mixed up, and you're better off not having to worry about them and focusing instead on yourself, your interests, and joining any RP that will take you.

If a GM (or other participants) ask your age, you can simply decline to answer. They have no right to demand an answer, nor do they have a right to try and force an answer from you. If they insist in a way that makes you uncomfortable, summon a Moderator. They are very active on this site, and part of their job here on this site is to look after you and help prevent jerks like that from making your life miserable.

You're part of this community. And your age doesn't matter. What matters is you. And I'm grateful to see someone who's obviously passionate and ready to participate in the world of role-playing and storytelling. So good on you!

Cheers!

~ GojiBean

 

[nerdy tangents]

So there was a thread a while back on this that I will try to find that should illuminate things for you. A lot of the posts had to do with people essentially be sexually harassed online when they were under eighteen. As such this has naturally led them to have a bad association with people who “take advantage” of others younger then themselves.

Now obviously being worried about something tends to indicate that you won’t do it. But sadly trauma isn’t often that logical.

The good news is there are people who don’t ask about age in their search threads. I’m about a year older then Goji and I don’t give a flying fuck. If you haven’t already you can just make a search thread and see who shares your interests. There are a lot of older folks who for whatever reason might not have an active search thread of their own but would be willing to take a look at yours.

 

[The Great Sage]

Keep looking. Finding a good partner is like a treasure hunt. You might not find treasure every day, but you certainly won't find any on the days you don't look.

 

[Hootle]

I'm sorry, what?

 

[nerdy tangents]

I think they were making a joke.

 

[Hootle]

I hope they were...

 

[Murdergurl]

I'm not a gatekeeper to people that are underage for the site. That's Admin's job. If you are old enough to be here on RPN then I don't care how old you proclaim to be. Tbh, I never even think to ask as it isn't a factor I look for.

The way I see it, we can either write well together, or we don't. If you happen to be 16 and accomplish that, kudos to you. And if you are 40 and cannot write with me, well that happens too. TYPICALLY, the subject matter and/or fandoms I am into appeal to an older audience. But that's not to say that a younger person might have an interest in then. And who am I to turn away new blood to an old tale?

 

[c0urier]

When I was a teenager, I was a pretty good writer and I was definitely capable of maturely handling some of the same RP topics I do today, and "You have to be 18" felt like such an arbitrary bar to the thoughtful, mature RP I wanted to take part in.

As an adult, I know it's not about the writing, it's about the power dynamics inherent in a friendship between an adult and a minor, and I do like being friends with RP partners. It's not appropriate for me, a 25 year old, to vent to someone who's 16 about work stress, or bills, or relationships, or mental health. That's a lot to put on a kid! A lot of adults avoid mixed age situations not because they doubt your ability to write or your ability to carry a mature storyline, but because we know we can't engage with you the same way we would engage with friends our age. Along the same lines, I'd hate if a younger RP partner didn't feel comfortable saying no to a plot idea because of the power dynamic between us.

I know that's not an answer to your question, but I also know that if someone explained this to me when I was in high school I'd have felt a lot better about the quality of my writing and how I'm perceived.

Best of luck finding the kinds of RP you want!

 

[nerdy tangents]

Yeah I feel like the big disconnect is down to people taking personally what is just a general preference.

I personally don’t care how old my partners are, but 90% of my roleplays are fandom based. And I’m perfectly aware of the wide age range of people into that particular fandom.

So I view my interactions less as “oh I’m being a friend with this person half my age” and more “sweet someone new to talk to my favorite fandom about.”

But for people who are more focused on original romance I can see them being a little more wary. As it’s a tricky topic to get write when you are both the same age it’s a lot harder if you are different ages. Not because of writing ability or maturity but because you tend to view relationships from different perspectives as you get older.

What a sixteen year old is looking for in romance is different then what a thirty year old is looking for. That’s just kinda of how life experience works. It’s got nothing to do with a sixteen year old being immature or not writing well.

So yeah my advice is don’t assume that an age limit is an attack on younger people’s abilities but more a reflection of their being an inherent difference to being an adult and a teenager.

And take heart that there are people who don’t care about age who would be happy to roleplay with you.

 

[Mr Phoebius]

Yeah I feel like the big disconnect is down to people taking personally what is just a general preference.

I personally don’t care how old my partners are, but 90% of my roleplays are fandom based. And I’m perfectly aware of the wide age range of people into that particular fandom.

So I view my interactions less as “oh I’m being a friend with this person half my age” and more “sweet someone new to talk to my favorite fandom about.”

But for people who are more focused on original romance I can see them being a little more wary. As it’s a tricky topic to get write when you are both the same age it’s a lot harder if you are different ages. Not because of writing ability or maturity but because you tend to view relationships from different perspectives as you get older.

What a sixteen year old is looking for in romance is different then what a thirty year old is looking for. That’s just kinda of how life experience works. It’s got nothing to do with a sixteen year old being immature or not writing well.

So yeah my advice is don’t assume that an age limit is an attack on younger people’s abilities but more a reflection of their being an inherent difference to being an adult and a teenager.

And take heart that there are people who don’t care about age who would be happy to roleplay with you.

This topic should end with this player's answer. These are real thoughts. Only truth in it. Any other customized aiming is just for the cinical apreciations of personal interest. Period.