Jenna was left behind, not that she much cared. She again started wandering around, completely missing the carousel. There was so much interesting stuff around her, how could she ignore it all? So, the idiot began to wander a muck, while sucking on her ring pop. Jenna walked past many children...
The past, personality, and general information need to be replaced to the point that you might as well write a new character because that's what this will be. I get the getting off of work, this isn't about that. This is about recognizing the flaws in this character and being willing to rewrite...
No excuses. His past is the main problem. You didn't even mention his powers which are fine for another character if you make one. This character has absolutely nothing going for it except those powers.
This character is so bad that it isn't getting any chances to be fixed. If you use it I will throw my god character in the role play for two lines just to rip him out. Trust me when I say your little Crow Nightwalker cannot stand up to Lace, goddess of will power and happenings.
Name: Crow Knightwalker
Nice last name, totally.
Villain name: Nightmare king
Cliche much.
Other Names: I have only a few but they annoyed me so I just simply kill whoever tries to say them. But His Family Call's him Grampa Crow
That did not need the fanfare.
Age: I look 24 but...
Okay, what? Monsters and aliens do exist in the world of the role-play if that is what you were trying to say. Your character isn't cliche, he's too OP. You say you aren't trying to make a badass but your character is one. The girlfriend thing can be forgiven, but the university and language...
Gotta say, this character is such a Gary Stuff and the whole "humans only use ten percent of their brains" thing has been proven as a myth. Besides, who has a love-of-their-life girlfriend at t he age of fourteen. Plus, not all geniuses have mental disorders; many just don't connect to the world...
Jenna dazedly walked around the Adventuredome in full costume. All the bright lights and pretty colors had grabbed her attention as she adjusted the plastic rings on her fingers. Jenna languidly walked around the building with no intent of going anywhere. She didn't even know why she was in...
Definitely an awesome character. I can't wait to do the role play with him; after all, all of my characters seem to have something that would irk or entertain him.
Name:
Cane Radecliffe
Superhero Alias:
Blast Sheild
Nicknames:
Kay
Wall
Blasty
Human Sheild
Age:
23
Gender:
Male
Appearance:
Nemesis:
None really, justs fights crime in his city. Probably should consider Ebony Pride, but she's not that much of a threat...
Name:
Jenna Emily Bove
Villain Name:
Ebony Pride
Other Nicknames:
Airhead, Prodigy, Kitty, Jen
Age:
22
Gender:
Female
Species:
Human
Appearance:
Her villain outfit consists of a black spandex-like amour with many pockets. The sleeves are detachable...
Name:
Katsuo Himura
Villain Name:
Aku Neko
Other Nicknames:
Aku
Age:
24
Gender:
Male
Species:
Bakeneko
Appearance:
Height:
5' 11"
Weight:
189 Pounds
Superpowers (if any):
Bakeneko powers:
Ghost Fire from tail
Shapeshifting...
Name:
Katsuo Himura
Villain Name:
Aku Neko
Other Nicknames:
Aku
Age:
24
Gender:
Male
Species:
Bakeneko
Appearance:
Height:
5' 11"
Weight:
189 Pounds
Superpowers (if any):
Bakeneko powers:
Ghost Fire from tail
Shapeshifting...