Puzderhero

Can't wait until next Friday!


This man... This absolute GOD AMONG MORTALS finally becomes the President of United States!

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So someone translated Skyrim into Latin...


Et tu, Dovakhiin?

2015: Ex-Harmonia starts twice and ends abruptly.


2016: X-Harmonia starts and ends abruptly.


2017: X-Harmonia starts and ends with the best ending Humanity can possibly imagine.


It's okay, I'm an oracle.  


Happy New Year everyone! 

MOVING DAY!! 





Uh huh... Moving Day! WORK IT! OH YEAH! *Secretly slips a 'Patience pls. I'm working on posts but I'm helping with a move. Don't kill me pls. <' to @~SpicyCinnyRollSenpai And @AsrielGoatChild While dancing.* Uh huh! CELEBRATE BABY!!!

Hello everyone, and Merry Christmas to you. I have gifts to share with everyone, especially my followers too.


For @Spanner, My entire 1980s-90s VHS set.


What's in it? I dunno, but there's porn in there I bet!


For @The One Eyed Bandit, an eyepatch, It's leather as dark as the ebony night. 


So that if you ever do lose that other eye, you may fully have darkened leather as your only sight.


For @Roki R Kankai, a slide and a hose.


So that his Roleplays may be long and enjoyable, no matter where it goes.


For @LennyTheMemeGod, a box of Kellogg's Cocoa Puffs.


As well as an upcoming interrogation as to why he's followed me and never spoke, because I will jump out of that damn box, and slap his wrists tight with handcuffs.


For @Temptress, Anti-Virus Software.


As her profile spams once filled the air. 


As for @BabyGirl, uh... A rose I found in my backyard.


Because figuring out whether or not you'll still post has become quite hard.


For @Sweetronica, a cookie just for you! 


I wouldn't reccomend eating it or anything, because it was on the street, fresh with morning dew.


For @Colorless Spectrum, A chocolate cake with an old Soviet flag for the icing on the top.


The cake lady told me all you had to do was slice the hardened cake with a karate chop.


For @Playful Heartstrings, a military-grade defibrillator and a demonic necromancy book.


Because DAMN IT, WE WANT X-HARMONIA BACK AND HOW CAN WE CONTI- *Bleeeeeeeeep static screen and then I reappear* Ahem, my apologies, just got into a little debacle with the nearby authorities... Thank St. Nicholas for letting me off the hook!


For @AsrielGoatChild, this masterpiece: 





If you cannot see it, it is the world's tallest Lego building... With jolly spirit in every Lego piece!


For @Happy Red Mage, a cardboard box with a Dollar sign on it and some toothpicks. 


I'm sure you'll play with those things and get some nice, good ol' kicks!


For Sharkman, an empty, plastic, jammed gun.


I kept all the necessary ammo and parts to ensure that I keep that DEMON FISH on the run!


Finally, for @~SpicyCinnyRollSenpai, a picture of a very special person, and one I know you, and every fan and follower has wanted to see, so now I shall give you that.


JONATHAN MATTHEWS WEARING A NEAT LITTLE SANTA HAT!!

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My tests...


Are...





DOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAHHH!! *Runs around in circles with my pants on fire from a faulty firework*

Alright! Well... The tests were torture, but I got good grades on 'em, so HOORAY!


I actually have one more test to take tomorrow, then I should be able to get back to posting in my active Roleplays. For those of you that are waiting on me, I'll get to posting for y'all as fast as I can once I get this last test done, so don't worry!


In the meantime, everybody, enjoy some complimentary Gabe! 

Welp, It's Midterm/Final/lolurfuckedboi week, so I won't online until Friday.


But never fear! I shall return, and all of my faithful, small in number, followers may BASK in the glory of Jonathan Matthew's sniper once more!

So, uh, my Uncle just became Secretary of Labor. ._.


Yay.

When you're taking a shit, but you realize you left your phone (Which has a half-finished post on it) on your couch.

HOLY SHIT I'VE GOT A THOUSAND LIKES!!


AAAAHH!! YES!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!*Screams so much that I get tackled by paramedics and forcefully dragged into a mental hospital, still screaming like a maniac.*




Hello everyone! It's Puz. I'd like to thank all the amazing people I've Roleplayed with, currently Roleplaying with, haven't Roleplayed with, and will probably never Roleplay with for getting me to one thousand likes! I appreciate it so much you guys! Thanks a bunch!


To commemorate this astonishing feat, I would like to show everyone this: 








(IOU commissioned artwork of Jon.)

Strings, are you at war over your computer? You've been gone a while.  

I know I'm probably late in saying this, but I'm LOVING these new emoticons! 


Whoever Featghost is, they're gonna drown in  :CaptainCat: .

Shakespeare was a fucking SAVAGE! 0_0

"Son, you aren't allowed to use your computer for the rest of the month because of that 79 you got on a quiz!" 


Me: 

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When someone in your Roleplay tries to make a long and serious post, but their grammar is so bad and disorganized that it looks like it was made in another language:

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My life in one video.

Urf... Too much ham and stuffing... Curse you metabolism... :T

Happy Thanksgiving to all you amazing Roleplayers! 


Our main dish for tonight: Fried Shark!

What Godmodders think they do in a Roleplay: 














What they actually do: 

What godmodders think they're doing for a Roleplay:





What they're actually doing:

Male guard members be forcefully smiling on the field like:





(Another status update? It hasn't even been an hour yet!)

You know, learning to drive isn't always easy. You gotta learn the Parallel Parking technique, Two-Point and Three-Point turns... A whole mess of shit that's you rarely even do on the road.


So, last year in January, my parents got me a driving instructor to whip me into shape for the hardships of driving on the road!

When the people you follow on RPN constantly post status updates in a single day, and you try to pitch in. 

So my manager led me to the back of our restaurant, which had piled upon piles of boxes and filled garbage bags, having to all be carried by me to a dumpster a little ways away from the restaurant. Initially, I began walking away, about to call for someone else to do it...


They told me I'd get a raise if I did it.