Pumpkid

Oye...

Dear Dearwolfy, 


I recently saw a deer near the rear of a mountaineer who started to leer when I began to jeer about how weird it was to commandeer a steer from a musketeer. Then I had a beer and began to cheer for a conventioneer as he shook hands with a volunteer marketeer as he purchased a veneer and went home to give it to his roommate who was an auctioneer. But then he cried when a buccaneer wearing nothing but a bandoleer and a sneer began to pickeneer the place and left nothing but a pile of ambeer. 


From,


 Spooky


(P.S. It was pretty weird experience to be honest)

I'm a slave for ya, I hate it that I need you.  I'm a slave for the nicotine~

Lol you ever punched someone in the face because of their stupidity and they started weeping because they're sorry for being a little bish? My hand hurts and IDK how I feel about making a man cry e.e

I tried to capture my emotions on paper and was told I was misdirected,
But maybe my mindset has just been infected by this pain-infested re-appropriation
Of the comfort I've developed with negligence.

'Cause part of my heart followed me when I finally moved out,
But I still feel most connected to it when I go back home,
She is now just a three year memory of being addicted to caffeine
And praying I could tell her all the things I planned on saying.

The coffee stains in my journal are a reminder of when I pushed myself into depression.
It's funny how artistic we become when our hearts are broken.

And the most sense I can make of this world
Has slowly transformed itself from being ink in my pen
To being the pain in my heart and head.
And I never meant to write words
That would make people feel like crying,
I just never wanted to write a single word where I was lying.

And I have slowly tapped the brakes on working
And pushed my foot down on letting go.
And somehow, I still don't know if this method is even working.

I just pray that people can find hope in the stories that in telling.

'Cause the things that got me focused on hope
Were her smile and that beautiful California weather,
But that the winter storms have had their way with my sunshine,
I feel like I don't have anything left.
I feel like I can't believe in power without that intoxicating reminder
That this could all be another thing I'm believing
Just because I'm sick of feeling empty and alone.

Or maybe I am just once again resorting to my pathetic need
To over think just to feel like anything real is happening.
And having to cover every base without any blind faith,
Just so I can know I'm not acting out of my impulse to do things to benefit me,
And me only.

But then out of nowhere,
When I finally feel at peace
And make sense of all these things,
It's at that moment
That I miss everybody who ever loved me.

But somehow, the weather feels more sunny,
And the water in this river keeping my mind watered is finally running,
And flowing, and livestock is growing,
My heart is showing,
My heart is glowing.
So why do I still feel so lonely?
Maybe because the words I put on paper
Are not filling up my heart,
And it's still empty.

And darling,
I promise I meant it when I said I wanted you to be happy,
I just didn't want you to be happier than me.
But I guess I'm just not that lucky.

And this pain may not be escaping,
And I may still be hurting,
But that's okay,
Because at least I'm living.
And I can see that some day it will be ending,
Even if it's not today,
I'll be set free.
So forgive me,
I'm usually much more encouraging,
But until then,
Just promise me you won't leave.
Cause heart may feel empty,
But every time I tell myself I'm alone,
I know that I'm just lying.
Cause even though my heart feels empty,
The walls hold photos of beautiful memories.

And if I hurt so bad now,
I guess it's just a friendly reminder that I'm still breathing.
She may not be next to me,
But this hurt cuts deep and still remembers to visit me.
So heartache,
Thank you for still believing in me.

You're not a problem,
You are my sanity.
And I love you for it.

My newest addiction to everything,  

.....I'm haunted by fishes. I close my eyes and there is a giant lantern fish waiting to lure me into the water, Even digimon is after me. Gomamon. Wtf is happening?! Why are they screeching?! Why is it dark? Why the f#@" am I underwater?!

I haven't slept all day, this is day two. I wonder why? 


This song is how I'm feeling right now


It's 3 in the morning and im still not sleeping, if the whole world told me I should disappear could I fall right next to you? You keep me wide awake. ;^;


You're making it hard for me to just start over like we're new. Oh if the whole world told me I should disappear cause I'm falling in love with you! 

That awesome feeling and moment when your twin/sibling gets your weirdness and does weird shit with you ~  love my twin xD

Does anybody else feel lonely even when around people? I'm starting to go back to my dark days. I try my best everyday to move forward, but no matter what I do I feel so depressed. Idk how long I can keep pushing anymore. I might just leave Ron because it's not helpinf me anymore.

I'm back and idk what to do. To anyone really who wants me to join their rp I'm down. 

No replies today all day. I'm skipping this day. ):

I'm...in trouble 


I'm an addict


I'm addicted to this boy


He's got my heart tied in a knot


And my stomach in a whirl but even worse I can't stop calling him 


He's all I want and more


I mean daaamn what's not to adore?


I've been playing too much Guitar


I've been listening to jazz~

Dear lord help me. I don't know how to rake care of babies. I'm scared . But he's so cute. 

Cut my finger today. This is the third time! Almost fainted, lost a lot of blood for just a cut.

~I use to wear a smile everyday, but the truth is I'm losing myself everyday, I use to pray for days for my turn but now I see it's not meant to be, so what do I do now? Am I impossible? Am I a joke?~

Three day party with the family from L.A. My dream is being fulfilled. Turn Down for what?~

I had a weird dream about baseball in the desert then the joker. I was his apprentice and my ears were bleeding. I think it was a message. 

@Vultz I miss you. *blows kiss*

Hanging out with the nephews and cousin. My day is brighter thanks to this baby.

Woke up grumpy, I feel sick. I might just have to spend the day sleeping

I tried singing this song I'm still obsessed over and I still can't hit the notes

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That one moment where you're in your living room flipping through channels and during some commercials you search for what's on and girls gone wild commerical pops out that says something about ass and your mom catches you at the wrong moment. I was so embarrassed trying to explain that it was a coincidence. lord have mercy on me

Cthulhu hails thee!

Isn't it?! Isn't it over! You've won and she chose you and she loved you and shes gone it's over isn't it why can't I move on?