Viewpoint Is it normal for people to try and change things about your character mid-rp?

[ButterflyBlueLady]

I have this partner who likes to do what he calls improv, but I don't think it is.

I was mid-rp with him, using one of my OC's. This one hasn't been drawn out yet but gave a very detailed description of what she looked. The important part: White-blueish straight long hair and wears a headband.

Everything was fine until his character went, "aw don't you have the cutest cat ears"

I was confused but didn't think anything at first and thought maybe he or his character was confused and used mine to respond that she didn't have cat ears.

His character literally responds with, "Oh yeah, then what are these." And plays out the action of groping cat ears on my character's head.

what?

I stopped the session there and said, "Hey she doesn't have cat ears"

He then went on this long-winded rant about how it was improv and does it all the time with his friends, making up traits about other people's characters and even making claims of having prior relationships with other characters.

He didn't talk this out with me first or even asked if I was okay with it. I don't find this to be improv but controlling another person's character. If your friends are cool with it then that's nice but I am not them, I am my own person. I feel this is something that should discussed before it happens.

Is this normal? Do people actually do this????? I've been doing rp for a long time but never run into this before.

 

[Steve Jobs]

My guess is that he is mistaking real life improv with roleplay. In a real life session, the idea is to go "yes and" while building on top of whatever situation was given to you.

Given that this is a roleplay with established characters, what he is doing is taking control of your character. This is NOT normal and NOT good roleplaying etiquette. If you haven't already, I would tell him that this is not okay and to discuss any big changes with you in the future.

 

[Daisie]

Uhhhhh yeah that's kinda weird. Once in a while my partner will throw a wee curveball at me. We like to wing backstories and small details sometimes. Once we impromptu put my character in cologne lol, but we've also legit been RPing together for 8 years.

That being said, we've never messed with... pre-established physical attributes?
And cat ears are kind of a suspicious thing to randomly add, nevermind to get upset about it like that. That would put me on my toes.

 

[Idea]

Wow that really wasn’t the kind of thing I was expecting. Yeah, no that’s absolutely not normal. I would do as the others said, try talking to this person and explaining that’s not how things are done here and it’s not really something you should do - especially not without asking the other person first.

 

[tsurene]

Yeah... I don't think your partner understands what improv is. Improving is when an actor (or roleplayer in this situation) adapt to random situations while still being in character.

For a group roleplay example, a GM randomized the characters' positions in an event using a generator. Regardless if the randomly chosen characters are actually skilled in those positions or not, the characters need to react to progress the story. Heck, failure can be encouraged since it will open up future conflicts, character development, and new relationship dynamics. Honestly, I believe "improv" in group roleplays are far more common than your partner thinks, since no one can predict which character will approach them or what they will say.

As for 1x1 roleplays, there would still be this back-and-forth interaction (with the optional generator usage if you choose). However, 1x1 roleplays tend to have more established characters and settings that require the partners to plot together.

What your partner did was closer to godmodding than "improv," and he managed to take a step further by adding physical features that you never mentioned. I bet he'd be even more upset if you try to add features he didn't want, so I don't know why he thought you would let it slide. You should be direct about keeping your character's appearance the way YOU described her and that what he did isn't proper etiquette. If he doesn't listen, then it's better to put the roleplay on hold.

 

[ButterflyBlueLady]

Yeah... I don't think your partner understands what improv is. Improving is when an actor (or roleplayer in this situation) adapt to random situations while still being in character.

For a group roleplay example, a GM randomized the characters' positions in an event using a generator. Regardless if the randomly chosen characters are actually skilled in those positions or not, the characters need to react to progress the story. Heck, failure can be encouraged since it will open up future conflicts, character development, and new relationship dynamics. Honestly, I believe "improv" in group roleplays are far more common than your partner thinks, since no one can predict which character will approach them or what they will say.

As for 1x1 roleplays, there would still be this back-and-forth interaction (with the optional generator usage if you choose). However, 1x1 roleplays tend to have more established characters and settings that require the partners to plot together.

What your partner did was closer to godmodding than "improv," and he managed to take a step further by adding physical features that you never mentioned. I bet he'd be even more upset if you try to add features he didn't want, so I don't know why he thought you would let it slide. You should be direct about keeping your character's appearance the way YOU described her and that what he did isn't proper etiquette. If he doesn't listen, then it's better to put the roleplay on hold.

I gave this a like before going to bed but now that I am awake I will give a reply. He is admittedly a godmodder which is why I try to avoid things with him where he does try it. This is my first time experiencing it when it wasn't in a battle type setting.
He's one of those dudes who must always have the strongest character and even if mine are stronger they are never given the chance to win because he has to win. If I accidentally say an attack lands on his character (Usually happens when I'm tired and my wording of things turn out not so great) he gets pretty damn upset but to him it's perfectly okay when he does it. I don't ever pull shit with him where I would make up features for his characters or make the wild claim that his characters power wouldn't be strong enough etc,etc.
I have actually dropped multiple sessions with him because he pulls the 'my way or the highway' mentality and I ain't afraid of the highway. The only reason I continue to do rp with him is for one specific relationship that I can't get with anyone else and its the only one he's good with.

 

[Perpetual Zen]

Is this the same guy from your past forum posts? If it is the same person, I think the evidence speaks for itself, and if it's someone else it's okay to evaluate the people you play with but don't become a victim. It's a easy trap to fall into. Although, you would be saving yourself trouble if you surrounded yourself with people who role play a certain way.

Although, my advice is this, if you find yourself running into a similar problem more than once the simplest answer is to surround yourself with different people.

 

[ButterflyBlueLady]

Is this the same guy from your past forum posts? If it is the same person, I think the evidence speaks for itself, and if it's someone else it's okay to evaluate the people you play with but don't become a victim. It's a easy trap to fall into. Although, you would be saving yourself trouble if you surrounded yourself with people who role play a certain way.

Although, my advice is this, if you find yourself running into a similar problem more than once the simplest answer is to surround yourself with different people.

It is, I have so many problems with him I could write a book. I did talk to him about his god awful insert and he deleted it but was very upset over it.
Talking to him about things and putting my foot down is so difficult cause it always leads to a fight and him feeling personally attacked. You can be the calmest and most polite person to him and he still comes unglued.

Its hard to actually find someone new I want to do rp with because I prefer privacy and to do it on discord, I do like 18+ in a sexual way but also horror and gore and I do like darker characters. I don't really meet people with similar interests. Instead of surrounding myself with different people I just end up cutting people out and making my small circle smaller. Sooner or later I will probably just reach the point where I quit this all together. I don't even think I'm that good at rp, I'm sure I probably do tons of stuff that others wouldn't approve of.

 

[Perpetual Zen]

It is, I have so many problems with him I could write a book. I did talk to him about his god awful insert and he deleted it but was very upset over it.
Talking to him about things and putting my foot down is so difficult cause it always leads to a fight and him feeling personally attacked. You can be the calmest and most polite person to him and he still comes unglued.

Its hard to actually find someone new I want to do rp with because I prefer privacy and to do it on discord, I do like 18+ in a sexual way but also horror and gore and I do like darker characters. I don't really meet people with similar interests. Instead of surrounding myself with different people I just end up cutting people out and making my small circle smaller. Sooner or later I will probably just reach the point where I quit this all together. I don't even think I'm that good at rp, I'm sure I probably do tons of stuff that others wouldn't approve of.

That's a lot of big emotions to deal with and it's often a trap we fall into simply being human. To think the best in others but some people just don't have the capacity to change until people step away. These are very big emotions and hurdles. Maybe stepping a bit out of your comfort zone on here? There are so many people with different interests here. I've never had an issue with anyone being unpleasant. Sometimes it can seem like your circle is getting smaller but it will be tons stronger. Because it's people who desire to be nice to you because they value your presences

So sorry this is happening again and I hope you find just some sense of peace. Its never fun having this hassle when trying to be creative

 

[ButterflyBlueLady]

That's a lot of big emotions to deal with and it's often a trap we fall into simply being human. To think the best in others but some people just don't have the capacity to change until people step away. These are very big emotions and hurdles. Maybe stepping a bit out of your comfort zone on here? There are so many people with different interests here. I've never had an issue with anyone being unpleasant. Sometimes it can seem like your circle is getting smaller but it will be tons stronger. Because it's people who desire to be nice to you because they value your presences

So sorry this is happening again and I hope you find just some sense of peace. Its never fun having this hassle when trying to be creative

Thank you, I will attempt to branch out more.

 

[Edric Blight]

Not at all. That’s called breaking an unspoken boundary. Complete disregard for you and your character.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Yeah if he is the guy from the self-insert story then he’s just gaslighting you to get away with railroading you.

And for future reference if you ever in a situation and you want to know “is this normal or is this person railroading me” then a good rule of thumb is this :

1. Did you agree to the person taking over the narrative? If no than it’s not normal and you are being railroaded.

2. Are you having a good time? If no than it’s not normal and this person is railroading you.

Not saying you have to be on the edge of your seat excited about writing 24/7 but if someone is acting in a way that makes your uncomfortable or is lessening your enjoyment of an activity that is not normal.

 

[Chained Echoes]

Definitely not normal. He was basically controlling your character.
This in no way is cool and not some improv. Doesn't matter what his explanation was, this is your character.

 

[GammyWamzee]

Definitely not normal.

I can understand improv, if characters are friends/siblings before the RP started then I expect them to have a background/dynamic that both my partner and I are aware of. With this past information we can come up with events that may have happened in their past without prior discussion.
"Oh yeah I got into fights all the time with xxx" "XXX go to this restaurant all the time" "It's been a while since we've been here, XXX" Stuff like that.

Definitely not completely changing who a character is though. Immediate red flag.

 

[cheeseburger90210]

I have this partner who likes to do what he calls improv, but I don't think it is.

I was mid-rp with him, using one of my OC's. This one hasn't been drawn out yet but gave a very detailed description of what she looked. The important part: White-blueish straight long hair and wears a headband.

Everything was fine until his character went, "aw don't you have the cutest cat ears"

I was confused but didn't think anything at first and thought maybe he or his character was confused and used mine to respond that she didn't have cat ears.

His character literally responds with, "Oh yeah, then what are these." And plays out the action of groping cat ears on my character's head.

what?

I stopped the session there and said, "Hey she doesn't have cat ears"

He then went on this long-winded rant about how it was improv and does it all the time with his friends, making up traits about other people's characters and even making claims of having prior relationships with other characters.

He didn't talk this out with me first or even asked if I was okay with it. I don't find this to be improv but controlling another person's character. If your friends are cool with it then that's nice but I am not them, I am my own person. I feel this is something that should discussed before it happens.

Is this normal? Do people actually do this????? I've been doing rp for a long time but never run into this before.

its not right to control other people characters, and no if you only have one eye; characters should address you only have one. they do stupid stuff like this in Pokemon and Palworld all the time. THATS WHY I DONT PLAY POKEMON. Pokemon character players think they can just be god and change your characters.
but yes. In pokemon they do that all the time, they call it

improv evolution

 

[cheeseburger90210]

I have this partner who likes to do what he calls improv, but I don't think it is.

I was mid-rp with him, using one of my OC's. This one hasn't been drawn out yet but gave a very detailed description of what she looked. The important part: White-blueish straight long hair and wears a headband.

Everything was fine until his character went, "aw don't you have the cutest cat ears"

I was confused but didn't think anything at first and thought maybe he or his character was confused and used mine to respond that she didn't have cat ears.

His character literally responds with, "Oh yeah, then what are these." And plays out the action of groping cat ears on my character's head.

what?

I stopped the session there and said, "Hey she doesn't have cat ears"

He then went on this long-winded rant about how it was improv and does it all the time with his friends, making up traits about other people's characters and even making claims of having prior relationships with other characters.

He didn't talk this out with me first or even asked if I was okay with it. I don't find this to be improv but controlling another person's character. If your friends are cool with it then that's nice but I am not them, I am my own person. I feel this is something that should discussed before it happens.

Is this normal? Do people actually do this????? I've been doing rp for a long time but never run into this before.

Hack shadow him? When he posts things about a character, copy his post. Then repost it with hack shadowing. So say you only have one arm and someone said you had two. Find that part and use hack shadow.


So lets say you only have one hand.

'Bill catches the ball with both hands'

Copy his wrong post and paste it, like this.

'Bill catches the ball with both hands {Edited; 'his only good hand.}'