You're leaving? (A 1x1 with Lexxy)

[Lexus]

Clay made it back just before they were finished loading her up. He was breathing heavy but he didn't even care. He ran to his wife and looked to the paramedic who he knew from before he quit. "Is she going to be okay?" He asks almost afraid to hear the answer he would receive.


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[isax]

"We just said she has a high chance of not making it Clay." The paramedic told him and Ashley immediately reached for Clays hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze as if saying she will pull through. That was going to be hard however because she couldn't catch a breath at all and finally she fell unconscious.


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[Lexus]

Clay immediately took her hand and shook his head at what they told him. He was a entering shock. He's stomach felt like it twisted itself into a knot and the area felt like if was hot, his throat was hiring and his heart was pounding. He didn't like to see her like this at all. He kept his grip on her hand and strokes her hair. He wanted her to be okay, not to be in pain, and if that meant she had to leave the Earth without him, he accepted that. He held back his tears and composed himself. "Ash, you don't have to fight anymore," He whispers calmly and sincerely. "Please, don't suffer."


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[isax]

Ashley heard her husband faintly and what she heard broke her heart. He was okay with her dying but she wouldn't let that happen. Not in a million years. An attack could hit her at a 10 pain scale and she would still try to pull through. For her husband. For her family. For her parents and for her friends. She had so many things to fight for she couldn't just give up like that. When they got to the hospital, they immediately rushed her to the back and tried to get her stable and there were times they swore she wasn't breathing but she was fighting for her life and they could tell. They got her stable but were worried about her condition so they had her stay in the ICU. She was still unconscious when in the room.


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[Lexus]

They wouldn't let Clay in the room so he wandered the halls his mind and thoughts racing. He hoped his wife wouldn't be upset with what he told her, he wouldn't take it as a sign of weakness but a sign of strength if she knew it was better for her to let go. To be okay, not to have to addy about this happening again. He hoped she understood his reasoning. He was tired of this, tired of seeing his wife so close to leaving him. So tired of her having to out up with it, tired of her feeling like she had to fight. Why her? It was something he would never understand. He sat in the hallway with his back against the wall and his knees against his chest staring at the ceiling and blinking back tears until Emma ran up and hugged him and that's when he brined down and cried, cried worse than when his mom died, cried worse than when dad died. He cried because it was a scary thought he accepted this finally would possibly be the end.


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[isax]

Ashley felt her life slowly trying to leave but she couldn't let it happen. She knew this was hard for her husband but it was hard for her too. She finally woke up from being unconscious but her chest still tight. She asked for her husband but when they told her the doctor said no visitors were allowed for her, she became upset. She wanted to see Clay. She would be okay. She asked if she could go for a walk and the nurses were worried but agreed and had her take an oxygen tank with her. She walked down hallways and when she found Clay, she couldn't help but feel responsible for making him cry the way he was. She didn't turn the corner, instead she cried silently too. She hated knowing Clay agreed to putting up with her and this. she walked over to him and sat next to him, automatically taking his hand. She squeezed it tight and weakly said, "I love you Clay. Together forever."


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[Lexus]

(Bawling [emoji24][emoji24][emoji24])


Clay looked up from his little sister and cleared his blurry vision with his sleeve when he felt a hand grip his. He sensed her presence and smiled faintly. His eyes were blood shot and he was embarrassed she saw him so vulnerable. He knew she shouldn't be out here but he wasn't going to argue with her when she shouldn't have been sitting here. Instead he wrapped his arms around her gently to know she was real. He rested his head on her shoulder and didn't let go.


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[isax]

( I know. Same here. [emoji24][emoji24])


Ashley's heart was breaking every second she was here with Clay. She felt terrible for having to make him go through all this. She hugged him back tight so he knew she was there, flesh and bone. She wasn't going anywhere. She let out a sigh however and then said, "We could always divorce Clay. Then you wouldn't have to go through this. You wouldn't have to be in so much pain from this." She whispered to where only he would hear and she herself began to cry. Her chest was still tight but not as bad and she knew she would be okay. She felt it.


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[Lexus]

Clay looked up at her with wide eyes and felt his own chest go tight. Why would she even suggest that? Sure, this sucked never knowing when she could be taken from him but he never even thought it considered such an option. He loved her. He then asked a question that he regretted as soon as he asked it, his stomach twisted again. "Is that what you want?"


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[isax]

Ashley felt her chest get tight again and she looked to the ground as she continued to feel tears run down her cheeks. "Of course not Clay but... I hate seeing you like this. I hate knowing that every time this happens you could lose me and I hate knowing I'm making you go through all this." She told him and sighed, "I just think maybe it'd be best if we did." That was when Gaven walked up and heard everything. He looked at Emma and sighed. "Don't be rash Ashley." He to her but Ashley didn't say anything. Her hands went into fist that made her knuckles white from how hard she was clenching them. She didn't want to lose Clay but maybe it was for the better.


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[Lexus]

"Ashley, I've built a life with you, I've given up so much for you, I love you. I need you to understand that. Please so and I know you hate it I hate the thought to but that isn't reason enough to leave you. If when this is over and that's what you still want then fine, if it makes you happy but you're going to have to come up with a better reason for me to leave you."


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[isax]

Ashley looked up at her husband and sighed a deep sigh. "I'm sorry... I should have never even thought of that. She told him and rubbed the tears out of her eyes. No. She couldn't divorce him. She loved him to much to actually sign a paper saying she wanted to. Plus they did build a family together and they needed both parents in their lives. "I love you Clay Waters." She whispered and looked at him then smiled softly. Her eyes blood shot red from the crying and her chest rising at a faster speed then normal. She held his hand and played with his wedding band. She and he promised to be there together through the good times and bad. In sickness and in health. They promised and Ashley needed to realize that.


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[Lexus]

"I love you too," He whispers quietly helping her back up to her feet and smiling when she played with his wedding band. "You should go before they come looking for you Mrs. Waters." He says kissing her forehead and pulling away with a bright smile.


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[isax]

Ashley smiled but shook her head and stayed there with her husband. She held him close with her head in his chest. "Not without you." She whispered and closed her eyes. She loved hearing his heart beat. It soothed her.


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[Lexus]

He didn't move and wrapped his arms around her firmly and stroked her brunette hair gently until she pulled away. He released her from his arms and took her hand in his. "Let's go then."


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[isax]

Ashley nodded and followed her husband back up to the ICU and had the oxygen tank with her in her other hand as she rolled it. She laid back in bed and Mallory was the nurse as always. "I was waiting for you to come with her. I changed the visitors thing on her file without let the doctor know." She told him and smiled and Ashley did too. She laid in the bed and then sighed. "I'm really sorry you have to put up with this Clay. You shouldn't have to.


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[Lexus]

Clay nodded to Mallory and smiled in thanks. She was pretty and Clay could see why his friend had a like towards her. When she left he turned to his wife and shook his head at her/ "Shh, there's a lot of things I shouldn't do and loving you is not one of them,"


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[isax]

"But it's all my fault Clay. It's my fault you broke down with Emma the way you did. It's my fault you have to deal with this stupid asthma. It's my fault you left your position as Commander and Chief and now work with the finances for your dad's work. It's all my fault. It always is and it always has been." Ashley said as she sighed and looked away from him. They had a similar talk once when Ashley was 17 and she felt like everything that happened between him and her was her fault. She always takes the fault.


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[Lexus]

"Ashley, it isn't your fault, all those things that you mentioned are not your fault. You had no control over them, they are my choices. I made them because that's what I wanted, because I feel that's what is right. You have no fault in any of this."


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[isax]

"But who's the one who caused you to makes those choices. Me." Ashley said as she sighed and turned around to where her back was facing Clay. She hated this. She hated everything about her at the moment.


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[Lexus]

Clay let out a sigh, "I made those choices because I love you. Don't you get that? Can't you just see how much you mean to me instead of blaming yourself. Can't you see what I see? I just want you to be happy I don't care about anything else, without you I have nothing, that stuff means nothing if you're not there."


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[isax]

Ashley took a deep breath in and let it out. She stayed quiet. She didn't know what to say anymore. What people do for love is something incredible but Ashley just couldn't help but feel like she was the problem. She stayed looking out the window for awhile and didn't say anything she didn't even pay attention to the doctor when he came in. She was out of it. Deep in thought. "We have established that Ashley's lungs are getting weaker. Her right one seems to be the stronger one. I put her in depression medication. Just in case but I feel as if she is falling into slight depression. Nothing big but again, just in case. She is very stressed but we've come to the conclusion that it's not only that but she has anxiety. I uped her dosage on her inhaler again but I also gave her an emergency inhaler. One that can help the tightness in an attack become less tight. She will be released tomorrow. I want to see how she does tonight." The doctor told Clay and then left.


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[Lexus]

Clay didn't feel like arguing about the new medicine he felt she didn't need to be on. He just nodded and sighed when he left the room. He just stared at his wife not saying anything, he thought maybe she was right, maybe they were better a paper but even after thinking about it he knew that was wrong based on the two times he left before. He felt defeated. He didn't know what to do to help her.


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[isax]

After awhile, Ashley finally turned around and looked at her husband. She sighed and then smiled a weak smile because she knew he needed to see one. "We aren't better apart so stop thinking like that." She whispered and then added, "I know I suggested it but you got me thinking and you're right." She added and then smiled a goofy smile.


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[Lexus]

He just smiled weakly in return knowing it wasn't even sincere. He lifted his hands from his face. "I know love, I just wish there was something I could do to help you, to make it go away and instead it's just getting worse."


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