JokerFan766
Joker Fan
(Contains lots of slobber, dog tongue and unintelligence)
"You're such a good dog aren't you boy".
I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom, petting Dozer
my loveable boisterous St. Bernard Mastiff mix.
He's been my best friend for nearly 8 years
since I was 7 and he was just 9 weeks old.
We’ve always been together
and if I were to describe my dog he’s tough, nice, and a heart of gold.
I looked into Dozers
deep caramel brown eyes and smiled.
He gave me his version of one too
and flopped out his wet pink tongue.
I began hearing a gurgling from my stomach
I knew what that sign meant.
"Hey boy since mum and dad aren't here at
the moment why don't we go and raid the pantry.. for snacks".
Dozer raised his ears and wagged his tail
at the mention of that word.
I stood up and got to my feet and struck a pose.
"To the kitchen away".
WOOF!, said Dozer.
Dozer and I were not much later
standing together in the kitchen, I was looking in the pantry for Dozer's favorite dog biscuits
and cookies and potato chips for myself.
Soon enough I found the treats.
"Here you go boy", I said taking one out
from the packet and dropping it at Dozer's paws.
He sure loved eating the
bacon flavoured kind, which is why my family always got them for him during our daily shopping trips.
As I watched Dozer finishing up his snack
I turned back to the pantry and went in search of the cookie jar.. The one that
said off limits when I was home alone.
"Hmmm nope that ain't it", I said pushing aside
the box of captain crush cereal.
Behind that was a bag of dry banana chips,
definitely not a food product I was fond of.
I threw that one
behind the box of cereal in disgust.
"Mum and dad can have those
all to themselves".
Finally.. after a few more seconds of pushing and shoving away
random food packets and boxes I found the jar of peanut butter cookies at last.
We didn't keep the chocolate chip kind like most families
for fear of Dozer accidentally getting ahold of one
because as most pet owners know, chocolate was poisonous to dogs.
I took up the jar from its shelf and
unscrewed the wooden lid.
Dozer observed me holding the jar of cookies
and licked his jowls and even slobbered a bit.
"Sorry big boy but they aren't for you" I said, solemnly
looking down at his big pleading eyes while I pulled a cookie out.
As I was eating the delicious crumbly snack
a piece of it broke off and landed on the floor.. Right next to Dozer.
He was just about to woof it down
when I told him, "No".
I set the jar down on the kitchen counter, out of reach of the dog
and snatched up the piece of cookie from next to a disappointed looking Dozer.
As I brought it towards my mouth while muttering, "five second rule"
I failed to notice that Dozer before had
dripped a glistening glob of drool on its side.
I popped the piece into my mouth
and started chewing.
Dozer was still giving
the bring me food now face.
"Don't give me that look I'll get you
another treat in a second.. Mmm why does my mouth feels sticky?".
Dozer was panting
up at me then.
After smacking my lips a few times
I left the kitchen, heading for the living room.
"Let's watch some tv now", I said to Dozer
who trailed at my heels as he normally did.
Soon myself and Dozer were kicking back
relaxing and watching teenage mutant ninja turtles together
with him resting his great big head and massive paws on my knees.
A couple minutes later into an episode
I soon noticed that my mouth still had that kind of weird feeling in it, as if I had
been chewing slimey bubble gum earlier.
Feeling a bit concerned I stuck my finger in my mouth then
and felt around there.
It did feel a lot slimier in there and my tongue was now smoother
for some reason.
"Thaths weirdth",
It isn't exactly easy to talk
with your own finger in your mouth.
I tried to take my focus away from that
and turned back to the television screen.
"Pizzath is reallyth radicallol".. Huh??.
My speech was still slurring even though I brought my finger
out of my mouth.
Something weird was going on, also why was my shirt damp,
did Dozer get slobber on it?.
I turned my head around to gaze at him.
He was still resting his head on my lap
with his eyes shut, I did not want to disturb him but I need to get off the couch
and find out what was going on with me.
"Sorryeth abouth thisth boy" I whispered, gently moving him over to the side.
I plodded my way to the bathroom
hoping that I would not see anything abnormal about myself... But What I saw then in my reflection nearly made me
choke to death on my own freaking saliva.
My tongue was longer, much longer in fact and dripping with thick wads of slobber
and not only that it definitely looked unlike that of a human’s tongue.
"WHATH THE FUTHCK??".
When I spoke the big tongue
curled back and fourth and over and around my lips.
This was nothing
but unnatural.
It resembled the exact same tongue
that Dozer always hung out of his mouth.
My worst fears confirmed it,
I had a dogs tongue now!.
I screamed my heart out, sending flecks of spit
splashing onto the glass mirror.
""I'mth turning into a dogth I musth be!!", I shrieked.
Well.. That's what I thought.
I guessed fast who must have been the
Cause of this disgusting change.
"Dooooozeeer", I called out, sounding a bit cross.
No answer.
But- But he always comes when I call him.
I tried again.
I soon hear his padded feet trip trapping to
the sound of my voice.
WRROOOF!, I suddenly bark out.
I cover my mouth in shock
and embarrassment.
Did I just let out a.. Dog Bark?.
Dozer tilted his head with confusion
as he standed in the hallway just outside the bathroom.
"Srrorryth boytho I don'th knowth whath cameth overth meeth".
Things were getting worse it seemed.
First I get a dogs tongue, next I let out a big woof
what the Sam heck was happening with me??.
I sat down Unknown to myself that I was on my haunches
and got deep into thought.
Dozer walks over and licks the strands of drool
off from my chin and mouth, YUCK.
What was more so disgusting was
that I wanted to lick him back.
Not only that, I was having trouble with
thinking complex coherent thoughts.
Remembering even my own name
was becoming tricky
My name.. My name was.. Huh?
What was it again?.. Jim?, John?, Jock?... Jack?.. Oh yeah my name is Jack.
I felt panic rising up my
chest inside me as I was getting scared.
"Why would I even forget my own name??.
If I was able to look inside my head at that moment
I would have noticed that my brain was losing some of its thinking power.
I tried in vain to calm down and pray
this was just a silly nightmare.
"Ohthkay calmth downth thisth is noth happeningth
justh ath.. Dreamth".
Great now my way of
talking was getting infected too.
"Meeth havingth badth dreemth.".
I flopped out my muscular flat broad tongue
and stared up at the ceiling blankly.
Oh though I wasn't noticing it
I was getting dumber each second.
Dozer stared at me looking rather puzzled
His owner was not acting like himself, he knew that.
"Duuuth prettthy colourths", I mumbled staring
up at the pale yellow ceiling.
Puddles of slobber from my mouth
were splashing at my feet.
Dozer came closer to me, whimpering.
I peered at him not remembering
that he was a dog or even his name anymore.
He was a pretty funny
looking.. bear or cat especially with those droppy floppy cheek things.
I stumbled over on all fours and lapped at his face sloppily with my
tongue to see if he had a flavour.
Bleurgh he tasted like fur balls and spit
Nevertheless I kept licking at him.
Dozer averted his eyes as he was feeling uncomfortable
with what me, his own owner was doing.
"Woofth woofth meeth tha catth liketh youth".
Dozer.. Um The cat whatever went really close to me
and sniffed at my drool soaked face.
There was intelligence in his eyes
and just about none in mine.
I smacked together my
already wet lips.
"Meeth firstyeth wath waterth".
And I had only just enough brain power
to know where the toilet was.
"You're such a good dog aren't you boy".
I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom, petting Dozer
my loveable boisterous St. Bernard Mastiff mix.
He's been my best friend for nearly 8 years
since I was 7 and he was just 9 weeks old.
We’ve always been together
and if I were to describe my dog he’s tough, nice, and a heart of gold.
I looked into Dozers
deep caramel brown eyes and smiled.
He gave me his version of one too
and flopped out his wet pink tongue.
I began hearing a gurgling from my stomach
I knew what that sign meant.
"Hey boy since mum and dad aren't here at
the moment why don't we go and raid the pantry.. for snacks".
Dozer raised his ears and wagged his tail
at the mention of that word.
I stood up and got to my feet and struck a pose.
"To the kitchen away".
WOOF!, said Dozer.
Dozer and I were not much later
standing together in the kitchen, I was looking in the pantry for Dozer's favorite dog biscuits
and cookies and potato chips for myself.
Soon enough I found the treats.
"Here you go boy", I said taking one out
from the packet and dropping it at Dozer's paws.
He sure loved eating the
bacon flavoured kind, which is why my family always got them for him during our daily shopping trips.
As I watched Dozer finishing up his snack
I turned back to the pantry and went in search of the cookie jar.. The one that
said off limits when I was home alone.
"Hmmm nope that ain't it", I said pushing aside
the box of captain crush cereal.
Behind that was a bag of dry banana chips,
definitely not a food product I was fond of.
I threw that one
behind the box of cereal in disgust.
"Mum and dad can have those
all to themselves".
Finally.. after a few more seconds of pushing and shoving away
random food packets and boxes I found the jar of peanut butter cookies at last.
We didn't keep the chocolate chip kind like most families
for fear of Dozer accidentally getting ahold of one
because as most pet owners know, chocolate was poisonous to dogs.
I took up the jar from its shelf and
unscrewed the wooden lid.
Dozer observed me holding the jar of cookies
and licked his jowls and even slobbered a bit.
"Sorry big boy but they aren't for you" I said, solemnly
looking down at his big pleading eyes while I pulled a cookie out.
As I was eating the delicious crumbly snack
a piece of it broke off and landed on the floor.. Right next to Dozer.
He was just about to woof it down
when I told him, "No".
I set the jar down on the kitchen counter, out of reach of the dog
and snatched up the piece of cookie from next to a disappointed looking Dozer.
As I brought it towards my mouth while muttering, "five second rule"
I failed to notice that Dozer before had
dripped a glistening glob of drool on its side.
I popped the piece into my mouth
and started chewing.
Dozer was still giving
the bring me food now face.
"Don't give me that look I'll get you
another treat in a second.. Mmm why does my mouth feels sticky?".
Dozer was panting
up at me then.
After smacking my lips a few times
I left the kitchen, heading for the living room.
"Let's watch some tv now", I said to Dozer
who trailed at my heels as he normally did.
Soon myself and Dozer were kicking back
relaxing and watching teenage mutant ninja turtles together
with him resting his great big head and massive paws on my knees.
A couple minutes later into an episode
I soon noticed that my mouth still had that kind of weird feeling in it, as if I had
been chewing slimey bubble gum earlier.
Feeling a bit concerned I stuck my finger in my mouth then
and felt around there.
It did feel a lot slimier in there and my tongue was now smoother
for some reason.
"Thaths weirdth",
It isn't exactly easy to talk
with your own finger in your mouth.
I tried to take my focus away from that
and turned back to the television screen.
"Pizzath is reallyth radicallol".. Huh??.
My speech was still slurring even though I brought my finger
out of my mouth.
Something weird was going on, also why was my shirt damp,
did Dozer get slobber on it?.
I turned my head around to gaze at him.
He was still resting his head on my lap
with his eyes shut, I did not want to disturb him but I need to get off the couch
and find out what was going on with me.
"Sorryeth abouth thisth boy" I whispered, gently moving him over to the side.
I plodded my way to the bathroom
hoping that I would not see anything abnormal about myself... But What I saw then in my reflection nearly made me
choke to death on my own freaking saliva.
My tongue was longer, much longer in fact and dripping with thick wads of slobber
and not only that it definitely looked unlike that of a human’s tongue.
"WHATH THE FUTHCK??".
When I spoke the big tongue
curled back and fourth and over and around my lips.
This was nothing
but unnatural.
It resembled the exact same tongue
that Dozer always hung out of his mouth.
My worst fears confirmed it,
I had a dogs tongue now!.
I screamed my heart out, sending flecks of spit
splashing onto the glass mirror.
""I'mth turning into a dogth I musth be!!", I shrieked.
Well.. That's what I thought.
I guessed fast who must have been the
Cause of this disgusting change.
"Dooooozeeer", I called out, sounding a bit cross.
No answer.
But- But he always comes when I call him.
I tried again.
I soon hear his padded feet trip trapping to
the sound of my voice.
WRROOOF!, I suddenly bark out.
I cover my mouth in shock
and embarrassment.
Did I just let out a.. Dog Bark?.
Dozer tilted his head with confusion
as he standed in the hallway just outside the bathroom.
"Srrorryth boytho I don'th knowth whath cameth overth meeth".
Things were getting worse it seemed.
First I get a dogs tongue, next I let out a big woof
what the Sam heck was happening with me??.
I sat down Unknown to myself that I was on my haunches
and got deep into thought.
Dozer walks over and licks the strands of drool
off from my chin and mouth, YUCK.
What was more so disgusting was
that I wanted to lick him back.
Not only that, I was having trouble with
thinking complex coherent thoughts.
Remembering even my own name
was becoming tricky
My name.. My name was.. Huh?
What was it again?.. Jim?, John?, Jock?... Jack?.. Oh yeah my name is Jack.
I felt panic rising up my
chest inside me as I was getting scared.
"Why would I even forget my own name??.
If I was able to look inside my head at that moment
I would have noticed that my brain was losing some of its thinking power.
I tried in vain to calm down and pray
this was just a silly nightmare.
"Ohthkay calmth downth thisth is noth happeningth
justh ath.. Dreamth".
Great now my way of
talking was getting infected too.
"Meeth havingth badth dreemth.".
I flopped out my muscular flat broad tongue
and stared up at the ceiling blankly.
Oh though I wasn't noticing it
I was getting dumber each second.
Dozer stared at me looking rather puzzled
His owner was not acting like himself, he knew that.
"Duuuth prettthy colourths", I mumbled staring
up at the pale yellow ceiling.
Puddles of slobber from my mouth
were splashing at my feet.
Dozer came closer to me, whimpering.
I peered at him not remembering
that he was a dog or even his name anymore.
He was a pretty funny
looking.. bear or cat especially with those droppy floppy cheek things.
I stumbled over on all fours and lapped at his face sloppily with my
tongue to see if he had a flavour.
Bleurgh he tasted like fur balls and spit
Nevertheless I kept licking at him.
Dozer averted his eyes as he was feeling uncomfortable
with what me, his own owner was doing.
"Woofth woofth meeth tha catth liketh youth".
Dozer.. Um The cat whatever went really close to me
and sniffed at my drool soaked face.
There was intelligence in his eyes
and just about none in mine.
I smacked together my
already wet lips.
"Meeth firstyeth wath waterth".
And I had only just enough brain power
to know where the toilet was.
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