[[Note: Grimes as in dirty, not the singer, haha]]
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"Hi, I'm Grimes! A soon-to-be Inquisitor and currently very cool. I'm told you're also cool, because you're like, a nerd who reads- but in a good way! Like a cool nerd! Uh- shit."
Grimes sighed and sagged forward, letting her head gently knock into the, frankly, grimey woman reflected back at her in the window pane. A smear of grease from her forehead was left behind and the shopkeeper, an older gnomish woman, scowled at her. Grimes didn't notice.
"Bro, speeches are hard", she mumbled to herself, before pushing off the window and looking around for inspiration.
The mission was clear: she'd found a job ad stamped with the seal of the Inquisition on it and now all she needed was someone to read what was written on it to her so she could go and do the job!
It was exactly what she'd been waiting for- an opportunity to prove to the Inquisition she had the right stuff to join them in their badass quest against magical horrors and all that cool shit. She was ready to take the oath and kick in some werewolf teeth! She was ready to hunt evil mages and banish demons! She was ready to look hot af in that sexy black uniform!
...She was not ready to approach the friendly looking halfling woman sitting by the fire in the tavern eating stew for an early dinner and ask her to help read the paper for her. The woman was, apparently, one of the few literate people in the town who wouldn't charge for the service of having a letter read... or rat Grimes out to the mercenary guild for stealing one of the jobs off their board without paying a guild fee (heh).
It was the last step between Grimes and greatness! It should be easy! What was one little library-lady compared with the demonic hordes??
Apparently a lot.
"Oh maaaan, what do I say to her?" Grimes moaned to the only other living being in range that would listen: a raven perched on the shop sign above her. "Like, how do I explain to her that my mission is honourable and worthy of her, like, reading it out to me so I can do it?"
The raven cocked its head at her. Grimes took this as a sign of its investment in her plight.
"Yeah, man! Like, I'm trying to say I'm a badass and I know what I'm doing and you should definitely help me and not ask about why I don't have papers from the mercenary guild or anything because that would suck... but like, in less words."
"Caw!” Said the raven. Grimes squinted their eyes at the bird.
"I don't know what you're getting at there, man. I've got to come across strong, ya know? Like the kind of person you wouldn't even question is cut out for the job because obviously I'm that gal, ya know?"
Click-click-clack The raven clacked its beak at her and Grimes waved a hand. "Yeah, you're right... I should practice more. Ok: 'Hello and greetings, you might not have heard of me, but I bet you've heard of the Inquisition and how fuckin' baller they are, right? Well, have I got the opportunity for you!'..."
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[Some time later]
Ok, this was it. She had her words ready, she'd pulled her dark hair back and pushed it under her brown hat and buttoned up her dark blue coat so she looked more professional and tidy. The raven seemed to approve of her choices, which was nice. She was ready, she was prepared, she was-
freaking out, man.
With shaking hands, Grimes pushed open the door to the tavern and crossed the room, paper in hands and reciting her speech under her breath.
'Hi, I'm Grimes and I'd like to have a moment of your time to discuss a business opportunity. I require assistance with-'
Ok, there she is! Halfling chick located!
"Uh, hello, I-"
The woman looked up at her and just like that, everything left Grimes' brain.
"...uh. Um..." Grimes swallowed loudly, desperately trying to remember her prepared speech.
"I... this... er...."
Outside the window, the raven peered down at her from the shop sign and Grimes swore the thing was judging her.
It was too much! Tears pricking in her eyes, Grimes thrust out the paper to the woman, closed her eyes tightly and blurted out in one breath: "I'm Grimes and I can't read! I'm sorry! Can you help me?"
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This is Grimes's voice, lol:
--------------------
"Hi, I'm Grimes! A soon-to-be Inquisitor and currently very cool. I'm told you're also cool, because you're like, a nerd who reads- but in a good way! Like a cool nerd! Uh- shit."
Grimes sighed and sagged forward, letting her head gently knock into the, frankly, grimey woman reflected back at her in the window pane. A smear of grease from her forehead was left behind and the shopkeeper, an older gnomish woman, scowled at her. Grimes didn't notice.
"Bro, speeches are hard", she mumbled to herself, before pushing off the window and looking around for inspiration.
The mission was clear: she'd found a job ad stamped with the seal of the Inquisition on it and now all she needed was someone to read what was written on it to her so she could go and do the job!
It was exactly what she'd been waiting for- an opportunity to prove to the Inquisition she had the right stuff to join them in their badass quest against magical horrors and all that cool shit. She was ready to take the oath and kick in some werewolf teeth! She was ready to hunt evil mages and banish demons! She was ready to look hot af in that sexy black uniform!
...She was not ready to approach the friendly looking halfling woman sitting by the fire in the tavern eating stew for an early dinner and ask her to help read the paper for her. The woman was, apparently, one of the few literate people in the town who wouldn't charge for the service of having a letter read... or rat Grimes out to the mercenary guild for stealing one of the jobs off their board without paying a guild fee (heh).
It was the last step between Grimes and greatness! It should be easy! What was one little library-lady compared with the demonic hordes??
Apparently a lot.
"Oh maaaan, what do I say to her?" Grimes moaned to the only other living being in range that would listen: a raven perched on the shop sign above her. "Like, how do I explain to her that my mission is honourable and worthy of her, like, reading it out to me so I can do it?"
The raven cocked its head at her. Grimes took this as a sign of its investment in her plight.
"Yeah, man! Like, I'm trying to say I'm a badass and I know what I'm doing and you should definitely help me and not ask about why I don't have papers from the mercenary guild or anything because that would suck... but like, in less words."
"Caw!” Said the raven. Grimes squinted their eyes at the bird.
"I don't know what you're getting at there, man. I've got to come across strong, ya know? Like the kind of person you wouldn't even question is cut out for the job because obviously I'm that gal, ya know?"
Click-click-clack The raven clacked its beak at her and Grimes waved a hand. "Yeah, you're right... I should practice more. Ok: 'Hello and greetings, you might not have heard of me, but I bet you've heard of the Inquisition and how fuckin' baller they are, right? Well, have I got the opportunity for you!'..."
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[Some time later]
Ok, this was it. She had her words ready, she'd pulled her dark hair back and pushed it under her brown hat and buttoned up her dark blue coat so she looked more professional and tidy. The raven seemed to approve of her choices, which was nice. She was ready, she was prepared, she was-
freaking out, man.
With shaking hands, Grimes pushed open the door to the tavern and crossed the room, paper in hands and reciting her speech under her breath.
'Hi, I'm Grimes and I'd like to have a moment of your time to discuss a business opportunity. I require assistance with-'
Ok, there she is! Halfling chick located!
"Uh, hello, I-"
The woman looked up at her and just like that, everything left Grimes' brain.
"...uh. Um..." Grimes swallowed loudly, desperately trying to remember her prepared speech.
"I... this... er...."
Outside the window, the raven peered down at her from the shop sign and Grimes swore the thing was judging her.
It was too much! Tears pricking in her eyes, Grimes thrust out the paper to the woman, closed her eyes tightly and blurted out in one breath: "I'm Grimes and I can't read! I'm sorry! Can you help me?"
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This is Grimes's voice, lol:
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