Experiences Whats making you angry today? Rp pet peeves

[rae2nerdy]

Was just offering a possibility, much the way you did. If I disagreed with your solution, I'd have stated as much.

I didn't say you disagreed. I was reiterating my point. If you are unsure just ask. Don't just assume your wasting the Staffs time or that something isn't a serious problem because your unsure of the exact rules.

As that's how toxic behavior is allowed to flourish. When no one reports it and the people involved are able to cow everyone until letting them get away with bad behavior. And it's also possible the person didn't read the rules and doesn't know what their actions are not allowed. So sometimes it's nice for them to get a little warning like "hey so your aware these are the rules and your behavior is breaking them." The warning doesn't actually do anything to their account. I think there was like a PM ban for sixty days or something. I can't remember exactly it happened like over a year ago. But I know I was still able to post on the thread and if necessary I would have been able to get in contact with RP partners letting them know I couldn't write for a bit.

 

[Idea]

I didn't say you disagreed. I was reiterating my point. If you are unsure just ask. Don't just assume your wasting the Staffs time or that something isn't a serious problem because your unsure of the exact rules.

As that's how toxic behavior is allowed to flourish. When no one reports it and the people involved are able to cow everyone until letting them get away with bad behavior. And it's also possible the person didn't read the rules and doesn't know what their actions are not allowed. So sometimes it's nice for them to get a little warning like "hey so your aware these are the rules and your behavior is breaking them." The warning doesn't actually do anything to their account. I think there was like a PM ban for sixty days or something. I can't remember exactly it happened like over a year ago. But I know I was still able to post on the thread and if necessary I would have been able to get in contact with RP partners letting them know I couldn't write for a bit.

Sure.

 

[Tove]

Group roleplays where instead of the GM shutting down arguments before they start, they just let them go on and on and on. Saw a couple of out of character threads where arguments seemed to blow up. This is why I don't do group roleplays, period.

 

[ashwynne]

But it's not for us to decide. It's for the Staff. Which is why I recommended starting a thread. As that way the Staff can give you a definitive answer of what is and is not covered in the rules. Which is a whole lot better for everyone involved than just making educated guesses based on what you THINK something means.

Pretty sure Idea was just saying that the reason you might report someone and not seem to see a difference in behaviour/they're still active on the site is that their actions fall into a gray area. Not that they shouldn't be reported in the first place, just that punishment may not be doled out if it does fall into that gray area.

As for what's making me mad today...
Apart from concurring with GM's not curbing OOC drama (and OOC drama in general), the whole "stay in your lane" attitude I sometimes see with character gender infuriates me too. I'm pretty sure other people have mentioned this but the whole concept of players looking for a specific gender partner to play their same gender as a character is just weird as heck to me. Writing is about creativity and attempting to inhabit the lives of characters different from you in some way. Sure, I'd say most people tend to prefer playing characters that are the same gender as them, but actually requiring your partner to match the gender of their character is just kind of... idk, creepy?

Unless you're writing self-inserts that live in a carbon copy of reality, characters are going to be a heck of a lot different from their creators. If I can write serial killers, I can write male characters. And if someone has a problem with me writing male characters even though I'm female, but doesn't have a problem with me writing serial killers (when I'm not one), then they're massive hypocrites.

 

[zippy]

Unless you're writing self-inserts that live in a carbon copy of reality, characters are going to be a heck of a lot different from their creators. If I can write serial killers, I can write male characters. And if someone has a problem with me writing male characters even though I'm female, but doesn't have a problem with me writing serial killers (when I'm not one), then they're massive hypocrites.

Imma need some proof you aren’t a serial killer

 

[ashwynne]

Imma need some proof you aren’t a serial killer

 

[Crayons]

Pretty sure Idea was just saying that the reason you might report someone and not seem to see a difference in behaviour/they're still active on the site is that their actions fall into a gray area. Not that they shouldn't be reported in the first place, just that punishment may not be doled out if it does fall into that gray area.

As for what's making me mad today...
Apart from concurring with GM's not curbing OOC drama (and OOC drama in general), the whole "stay in your lane" attitude I sometimes see with character gender infuriates me too. I'm pretty sure other people have mentioned this but the whole concept of players looking for a specific gender partner to play their same gender as a character is just weird as heck to me. Writing is about creativity and attempting to inhabit the lives of characters different from you in some way. Sure, I'd say most people tend to prefer playing characters that are the same gender as them, but actually requiring your partner to match the gender of their character is just kind of... idk, creepy?

Unless you're writing self-inserts that live in a carbon copy of reality, characters are going to be a heck of a lot different from their creators. If I can write serial killers, I can write male characters. And if someone has a problem with me writing male characters even though I'm female, but doesn't have a problem with me writing serial killers (when I'm not one), then they're massive hypocrites.

I agree. I think the one time its acceptable is if they request a female player to play a male love interest. Because the reason to do this is so that creepy guys don't perve on them through the RP or in OOC. Like going to a women only spa or something. XD

 

[ashwynne]

I agree. I think the one time its acceptable is if they request a female player to play a male love interest. Because the reason to do this is so that creepy guys don't perve on them through the RP or in OOC. Like going to a women only spa or something. XD

This still kind of bothers me because you can always block them/report them if it got to that point (and tbh I've had more female players be complete creeps about pervy stuff than men LOL) but yeah, that doesn't irk me to nearly the same degree when there's a reason behind it. Especially when they've had bad experiences before so their reasoning makes sense.

 

[Crayons]

This still kind of bothers me because you can always block them/report them if it got to that point (and tbh I've had more female players be complete creeps about pervy stuff than men LOL) but yeah, that doesn't irk me to nearly the same degree when there's a reason behind it. Especially when they've had bad experiences before so their reasoning makes sense.

Lol, yeah. I get that, it's not my experience though. I stopped playing female characters entirely for a good while because they ALWAYS got perved on by men and it drove me nuts.

 

[ashwynne]

Lol, yeah. I get that, it's not my experience though. I stopped playing female characters entirely for a good while because they ALWAYS got perved on by men and it drove me nuts.

I think I've been incredibly lucky with the communities I got into. Granted, the ratio of men to women in all of them was pretty disproportionate so statistically I was way more likely to encounter pervy women xD Either way I've yet to write with a male player who was unbearable like that but I think I'm the exception and not the rule.

 

[Crayons]

Today I'm really fed up of the hype train. You find an RP, you make a character, everyone has boundless enthusiasm in the OOC for like ... three days. And then it dies. I feel like I'm continually making new characters for things and then nothing happens. It's kind of a pain in the butt.

 

[SP3CT3R]

Today I'm really fed up of the hype train. You find an RP, you make a character, everyone has boundless enthusiasm in the OOC for like ... three days. And then it dies. I feel like I'm continually making new characters for things and then nothing happens. It's kind of a pain in the butt.

I sometimes look through Extra Pages and join RPs that have already started to avoid this.

 

[C R Y B A B Y]

When someone only likes romance focal plots for RP or a partner that only gives effort into romantic scenes/scenarios and leaves everything else severely lacking.

I don’t like romance. I personally think it’s really lame as a focal point for a RP but if done as a side thing/progression I think it’s awesome and a great way to explore character dynamics and progress development. I want to gag though if it’s always just fluff and romance and there’s never anything else.

 

[Gowi]

a whole group ghosting a RP without communciating means i'm basically gonna blacklist you btw

this message has been brought to you by nestle

 

[BunnyDemon]

I feel a bit guilty posting about this, but whatever. I've got an RP partner who hasn't posted for over a month. No big deal, especially since she's told me that she's been busy. That isn't the issue. The issue is she keeps messaging me with these random ideas she's had that won't happen until way, way, WAY later in the RP (if we even get that far) without replying to what's currently going on.

 

[Gowi]

I feel a bit guilty posting about this, but whatever. I've got an RP partner who hasn't posted for over a month. No big deal, especially since she's told me that she's been busy. That isn't the issue. The issue is she keeps messaging me with these random ideas she's had that won't happen until way, way, WAY later in the RP (if we even get that far) without replying to what's currently going on.

Look at it this way: this kind of conversation shows you they are still interested even if their posting schedule isn't working out to the best results. Dead silence would be far far worse.

 

[Nue]

Okay so, I just wanna clarify that I'm not calling people out here, and it's not just people on this site that do this, but.. some people in the RP community seem to have a really weird attitude towards female characters, and no one ever seems to mention it. You see it mentioned a lot that people complain about roleplayers that only play female characters, that female characters either get in the way of romance because there's too many and not enough males, or that conversely they're annoying because they only want to do romance. I have seen people apologize for making a female character and clarifying that they're going to make a male one to balance things out.

And it just sort of weirds me out because.. I don't see it. I've been in so many roleplays where there are way more men than women, possibly because of this weird stigma, and no one complains about *that* (as they shouldn't, imo, the characters gender doesn't tend to matter in most cases). A lot of roleplays aren't strictly romance themed anyway, so what does it matter if there's an uneven gender balance? You never see people complain about the latter, even though it clearly exists. It just seems like there's this unspoken assumption that if you only want to play female characters, and you only want to do romance, that that somehow means you're annoying, or something, which doesn't make sense to me. (This is coming from someone who dislikes roleplaying romance, too)

I'm not saying that this is this huge thing where everyone openly hates girl characters, because it isn't. I see female characters frequently, I'm not acting as if people are terrified of playing them because they'll get excluded or anything. But when you notice the little subtle things, you begin to reaaaally notice it, and idk, pet peeve, that's all.

 

[rae2nerdy]

N Nue are you talking about groups or 1x1 because the issues in play are very different depending on which type your talking about.

1x1 are primarily written by straight women who are the target demographic for romance genre. Until very recently most stories written for a majority female audience focused on romance as a main part of the story. Plus romance culturally is treated as a necessary component to having a happy and well rounded life.

So those two things being true it’s not surprising that a majority of straight women default to romance when writing their own roleplays. Now when you have predominately female players you will run into an overabundance of female characters. Because they want to write characters from the romantic perspective they are most familiar with.

So that’s where the annoyance with female characters comes in. It’s the idea that there is an overabundance of straight women seeking straight men. But only a handful of people are willing to play the straight men. So it’s basically a case of those people getting typecast as the supporting character in every romance story they take part in.

It’s not about women at all it’s about the inherent unfairness of MxF romance when some people insist on always being the main romantic lead and never the supporting character.

I personally hate the romance as a default mentality for exactly this reason. IDGAF what gender or sexuality my partners character is and I hate it when people pressure me to pick out a love interest for my character before a roleplay even starts. All so that person can get their own love story.

 

[Nue]

I'm talking about group roleplays, mainly, because I tend to do those more. I should've clarified, sorry.

So, I think the issue I have is a little more nuanced in this case. You could sign up to a roleplay that seems completely unrelated to romance, with a female character, with no intentions of doing romance, and people will still side-eye it. You see people annoyed that 'people sign up with female characters, don't make a male one and derail the plot with romance'. The focus of these complaints is generally on the fact it's a female character, even though I've seen this happen multiple times with males too, which is why I think this is weird and might be indicative of something else going on here.


People like to play with characters they themselves identify with in some way, so the assumption tends to be, 'if you're playing a character who is a woman, you are probably a woman.'
Now this is just conjecture and again, I'm not trying to call out anyone here (I know there's going to be people going 'why are you bringing this into this it's not that deep' which I think is reductive but whatever) but from there I think people go, oh, character played by a girl? Probably wants to just do romance stuff. We could even possibly go deeper into why people are dismissive of romance elements and how it's tied to it being considered inherently feminine and all the baggage that comes with it, but I'm writing a forum post not an essay here andi dont even like romance either so it's whatever

So, then, you end up saddled with this impression from other people that you're just here to ignore the plot and smooch on all the boys and not add anything to the story. Which is so.. irritating to me.

Again, not saying this is always the case. I'm talking in a broader sense, not just about this site, and I'm not saying that everyone automatically thinks that. But I've been thinking about it, and this is just the conclusion I've came to.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Ah yeah I dont do groups so can’t help you there. But it does seem strange to care about gender when there is no romance.

 

[lyx]

Speaking as someone who will play as a male character without doubling up, I really wish people would let me flex my creative muscles more often. I have a lot of male OCs that I love, yet it feels like every time I try to have one show an emotion besides possessive anger it's shot down :c

 

[Melpomene]

Speaking as someone who will play as a male character without doubling up, I really wish people would let me flex my creative muscles more often. I have a lot of male OCs that I love, yet it feels like every time I try to have one show an emotion besides possessive anger it's shot down :c

I feel this way too hard my friend my problem is not too many female characters, it is always my males never able to shine to their fullest extent.

 

[Trektek]

I'm talking about group roleplays, mainly, because I tend to do those more. I should've clarified, sorry.

So, I think the issue I have is a little more nuanced in this case. You could sign up to a roleplay that seems completely unrelated to romance, with a female character, with no intentions of doing romance, and people will still side-eye it. You see people annoyed that 'people sign up with female characters, don't make a male one and derail the plot with romance'. The focus of these complaints is generally on the fact it's a female character, even though I've seen this happen multiple times with males too, which is why I think this is weird and might be indicative of something else going on here.


People like to play with characters they themselves identify with in some way, so the assumption tends to be, 'if you're playing a character who is a woman, you are probably a woman.'
Now this is just conjecture and again, I'm not trying to call out anyone here (I know there's going to be people going 'why are you bringing this into this it's not that deep' which I think is reductive but whatever) but from there I think people go, oh, character played by a girl? Probably wants to just do romance stuff. We could even possibly go deeper into why people are dismissive of romance elements and how it's tied to it being considered inherently feminine and all the baggage that comes with it, but I'm writing a forum post not an essay here andi dont even like romance either so it's whatever

So, then, you end up saddled with this impression from other people that you're just here to ignore the plot and smooch on all the boys and not add anything to the story. Which is so.. irritating to me.

Again, not saying this is always the case. I'm talking in a broader sense, not just about this site, and I'm not saying that everyone automatically thinks that. But I've been thinking about it, and this is just the conclusion I've came to.

Those people are just idiots. I am a straight man who is married with a baby and I have no issue writing for both male and female characters. I would think that seeing as how we are all writers on this site that people would want to flex their writing muscles by writing characters of different genders, races, classes and creeds.

 

[Jannah]

The fact that I have some pretty niche RP interests, thus it's difficult to find partners.

 

[Tove]

Not really at the moment but when it's very clear you and the person you are in talks with on a roleplay are not compatible but the other person continues to basically harass you into writing with them or dropping the whole "I don't have any luck with roleplays." and the long list of bad luck instances. Nope.