Poetry What We Deserve

[Walliver]

(Spoken from the POV of my OC, Killian)

“Perhaps this is what I deserve”
I think, as I lay on my back in this field
The blood trickles through my fingertips, down my side, into the grass, the traitor’s knife tossed to the reeds
“Perhaps this is the way I should pass on”
I think, as I remember that I am alone
I will be forgotten by most, only remembered by those I will hurt in my passing, yet quickly forgotten by them too
“Perhaps I should fight, to go in a more painful way”
I muse, thinking of those I have hurt
Victims of my temper, the people who despise my existence, those who have wished me dead for so long
“Maybe I will finally make someone happy this way”
I think, somewhat regretfully, of the people I have loved
Of the blonde beauty that suffered at my hand, the mother who always loved, the friend who cared, if only to pity
“This is not what I deserve, I deserve much worse”
And I remember all the screams
The terror that my love shall never be rid of, the nights my mother begged me not to go out into the rain, the week before this when I put myself in front of a car
“And yet this is how I leave. Forgive me, please”
“Forgive me, for all the pain that I have caused. All the nightmares and agony I leave behind. Forgive me, for I was never good enough. I could never be a perfect friend, a perfect partner, or a perfect son.”
“Forgive me, for I will die without making enough amends. Forgive me, for these thoughts in my head shall never be spoken to those who deserve to hear them the most.”
“I am sorry, for everything. I wish I could have done better.”
And with that, I close my eyes, take a breath, and drift away.

Yet when I wake, there is the soft thump of the cold heart in my chest, the shrill beep of a heart monitor
And I know I have a chance
So I turn to my mother, staring into her eyes, and I begin to speak those thoughts aloud
I am not redeemed, nor am I resolved of my crimes
I will do whatever it takes to make amends
“Forgive me.”

 

[Walliver]

It’s a cold day
Wherever I am
I’ve lost track of time
And a friend walks beside me
He is tall and quiet
Yet understanding and kind
He knows what I have done
And I am shocked he does not hate me
He is a shelter from the storm of anger that I have long been trapped in
With him, I am free
I am almost afraid to ask his name
As we walk holding hands
But I ask it anyway
For my mind needs to know
He smiles and stoops down to my level
Planting a friendly kiss on my forehead
“I’m Ned, and you are?”

 

[Walliver]

I have done my best to atone
But some wounds refuse to heal
Some will not look at me
Some will not speak to me
I know how it must seem
I apologize, not for myself, but for the people who still care for me
I apologize, not to be forgiven, but so that those I have hurt can be free
And I have learned to love as well
The love for friends and the love for myself
The love for my family and the love I have for someone else
She is loud, and lovely
And more than I am
She has her own struggles
But remains herself
I would follow her to the ends of the earth
And I can lay peaceful in her arms
I love so much
And am rid of hate
I love
And I love
And I love

 

[Walliver]

I know there is something wrong with me
I know, and it is a deep knowing
There’s something in the way my arms shake and hands quake
Something is very wrong
Something is wrong in the way that I speak
My words starting to melt in my mouth
They’re slurred before I can force them out to the air
Something is very very wrong

The doctors say I have months left to live
Years if I try to save myself
I think that this will be much easier
People are more inclined to listen when you have precious time left
So I’ll go out again today
And try to make amends
For there’s no better way to go
Than to die among friends

 

[Walliver]

(Spoken from the POV of my zombie OC, Harry)
TW for blood and gore (maybe cannibalism? Idk, he’s a zombie)

I know something
Something very true
It rings in my head
A song I can’t be rid of
I have a name
It enters my thoughtless mind like an epiphany
And I drop the human I feast on
Blood and viscera cover my clothes
And I am ashamed
There are humans shrieking
The friends of the one I have killed
I quickly move away from the body
I want to show them I am safe

But I am hungry
Very hungry
Yet not for humans anymore
I am hungry
And it claws at me
But I do not want to hurt anyone
So I wait
I wait for them to kill me
But they never do

The woman is very pretty
Raven hair wound tightly in a braid thrown over one shoulder
She holds two boys very close to her
But there is no fear in her eyes as she looks at me
I do my best to smile
And I think one of the boys laughs
Perhaps this human was bad

“Thank you, sir.”
And I look up from where my gaze has fallen
The woman is smiling, offering out her hand
And I do not bite
I smell the air, and the stench disgusts me
I hunger for humans no longer

“What is your name?”
One of the boys asks
The one that looks more like his mother
And I struggle to make the words
“H-H-Ha...arrr-”
“Nice to meet you, Harry.”
And I am surprised by the guess
Yes, my name is Harry
And I have made friends