Viewpoint What things make people ghost others?

[APrimevalWorld]

Hi there, I am curious about the topic of ghosting.
The first few times I showed up here, I managed to make myself known to some people. These people however stopped responding to me, or didn't even start the RP. No explanation why.
This made me wonder;

• Is there anything I should avoid doing when talking to other people?
• Why do people ghost one another?
• What makes people more likely to ghost?

Thank you!

 

[Idea]

Well, the first thing to know about ghosting is that it's seldom anything personal, and it happens to just about everybody who isn't more or less exclusively playing with a pre-established group of friends. People have tried all kinds of strategies to avoid ghosting, but honestly as far as I'm aware they all had limited success if that... So in reality, the best advice in regards to ghosting is that one needs to accept it will happen and it's mostly out of your control. It's just a part of forum roleplaying, and something one needs to learn to live with should one want to continue pursuing the hobby.

As for the reasons people ghost, from what I've seen in threads it largely boils down to the ghoster having some kind of communication issue, anxiety, depression, forgetfulness or something else along those lines, or somewhat more rarely experiencing some emergency IRL they can't immediately communicate. The reason why the former issues cause ghosting is because the ghoster will be caught in some kind of mental connundrum where no matter what anyone says they simply can't bring themselves to confront you with either issues they have with the RP or even more commonly just the fact they need to stop for whatever reason. For instance if such a person needed a break due to being busy or exhausted (or even just a plain old loss of interest that is entirely unrelated to anything you did or didn't do) they might feel too guilty and starting thinking you'd be upset for them asking for a break, ending with the inability to communicate it.

Though this isn't the exclusive cause of ghosting, I do think it's the overwhelming majority of it from what I've seen. I've also seen a lot of people asking why are ghosters so rude - but to my understanding at least, it's the fact they literally cannot bring themselves to have whatever the conversation they ended up avoiding to the point of ghosting.

While this won't magically cure ghosting (as I said in the beginning it's just something one needs to live with), being receptive to communication, showing patience with people's need to take time off, and gentle in confrontation are probably the best ways to at least reduce it, as it may help to improve the chances people will choose to risk that conversation rather than running from it.

Best of luck and happy roleplaying!

 

[Chained Echoes]

Ghosting will always be a part of the roleplay community. I think the best thing to do is not take it personally. Move on. There are plenty of other people to write with.

Everyone has their own reasons on why they ghost. Real life, interest has declined, partner is not compatible as originally thought, anxiety, stress, toxic partners. Just throwing some things out there. To be honest, while it is nice for a heads up, no one is really owed an explanation on why they were ghosted. Sometimes it can be just as tough for a person to explain to someone else why they no longer want to continue a roleplay. There's really two sides to this.

Speaking only for myself, I usually give a heads up if I’m not into a roleplay but there are times I have ghosted people because they were impatient. Expecting me to respond to posts every day which I already specified that is something I can’t do. Or they were toxic and did not respect my boundaries.

 

[APrimevalWorld]

Thank you both. I have no hard feelings towards any of the people who ghosted me, but sometimes someone like me just wants to make sense of it all, so I really do appreciate both of you responding.

 

[Lorsh]

can't avoid it, don't even try

 

[snicker_sage]

Hi there, I am curious about the topic of ghosting.
The first few times I showed up here, I managed to make myself known to some people. These people however stopped responding to me, or didn't even start the RP. No explanation why.
This made me wonder;

• Is there anything I should avoid doing when talking to other people?
• Why do people ghost one another?
• What makes people more likely to ghost?

Thank you!

Personnally, if i will ghost, it’s either because:

-Life get in my way,

-The other was really annoying or bad, but i refused to let them knowing about it, as i’m tired of fighting over everything,

-My motivation is dying and i try to watch anything to bring it back.

 

[Maverick Six]

It's usually akin to a breakup. Most people just can't bring themselves to do it.

A lot of times, something else catches their interest. Some people fall into a video game and time slips by them. This one while common is a bit harder for me to look past.

Some people have a problem with the RP but are uncomfortable bringing it up. People can have wildly differing reactions to criticism. I know I rarely give criticism unsolicited because people are strangers. You can avert this do this by making it clear to people that criticism is welcome. Either in the thread or in DMs. If you want to get extreme, you can even challenge people to say something negative that you think needs to be worked on. Or ask for a "good, the bad, the ugly." Be hospitable and understanding. A player can also try to prepare the perso. For critique.

Shit happens. Another common one. Some people get busy with kids. Some people get busy with work or are at a transition point in their lives where they don't know how much energy they have. An emergency happens such as a death of a loved one. I even know one guy who became homeless. Even if many times people choose to ghost, some people really do have something going on that may make them unable to write. This is with them being nervous to talk about stopping in the first place.