Viewpoint What makes you nope out of a search thread?

[peritwinkle]

For me it would certainly be attitude. I get that you want to be imposing with your rules and requirements, and even if I am alright with the rules, elitist/superior behaviour drives me insane. Maybe it is the overly sensitive person in me talking, but a search thread is supposed to be inviting, not accusing. What are your pet peeves when it comes to search threads?

 

[Onmyoji]

Attitude, definitely. Sometimes you see interesting plots but the way everything is presented makes you go "nope" immediately when it sounds elitist or condescending.

BBCode and formatting. As a frequent mobile user, if I can't read a thread on my phone I will not bother checking it later from PC.

Reply frequency requirements. If everything is fine but it is required to post every day or even twice per day, I will probably not bother.

Fandoms. That seems obvious, but my point is, I see a list of fandoms and there isn't a single one I know, it is likely I will not contact the person even if the rest seems fine. It mostly means that we're not on the same page and our interests don't really match.

Too specific requirements. Like, "I only play 18-year old females and need my partner to be male irl" Those things scare me off.

 

[duegxybus]

Too specific requirements. Like, "I only play 18-year old females and need my partner to be male irl" Those things scare me off.

THIS

"I only play 18 y/o females who have red hair blue eyes and are extremely attractive and my partner must be a 6'0 man with no more than 6.5555% body fat and he must have hair that is no longer than 4 inches from the top of his head and trust me I will know if he's lying because I just know please someone date me I'm so desperate I'll use an RP site to fulfill my fantasies please I'm so lonely someone love me for who I am am I not detailed please"

 

[Tove]

Coding-I use mobile sometimes those pretty aesthetics, as most people say these days, aren't so pretty when I try to read them. I won't make my eyes suffer.

Males only-Does that mean they only want a male partner and male characters? Either way no flexibility no me.

Agreeing with Onmyoji and peritwinkle attitude is everything. If rules come across jerkish I won't bother.

Multiple replies a day every single day or the result will be losing interest. I can't reply every day even if I could I don't want to. I have a life and things to do outside of roleplay plus if I feel pressure to post often I end up not wanting to write at all.

 

[poison goth]

THIS

"I only play 18 y/o females who have red hair blue eyes and are extremely attractive and my partner must be a 6'0 man with no more than 6.5555% body fat and he must have hair that is no longer than 4 inches from the top of his head and trust me I will know if he's lying because I just know please someone date me I'm so desperate I'll use an RP site to fulfill my fantasies please I'm so lonely someone love me for who I am am I not detailed please"

Yes.

 

[Doctor Nope]

Explaining only the setting/premise with no thought put into (or at least none that we can see) put into potential storylines or arcs or anything that actually happens.

 

[rae2nerdy]

1. Romance is a must, if there is no romance I get bored.
If you can't think of a way to make your character/the story interesting without trying to get into another characters pants than it's a hard no.

2. I need specific gendered partners cuz romance.
Says to me you think we're dating if I write a story with you. No thanks.

3. Tiny or too light writing.
I'm an old woman and it hurts my eyes to try to read it. So no.

4. Please be able to reply multiple times a day.
Nope. I got work.

5. I'm only here to roleplay. I don't want to talk to my partner just roleplay.
Oh heck no. I'm way too chatty I'll get way too bored if I am just robotically plopping down posts with no other interaction.

 

[peritwinkle]

Males only-Does that mean they only want a male partner and male characters? Either way no flexibility no me.
[

Completely agree, I’m a sucker for romance in stories but the best and most fleshed out ‘guys’ I have played across from were female writers. I don’t understand this lack of acceptance, but then again, from what I have seen it looks like those people are looking for a date rather than a rp partner.

I’m too salty today.

 

[duegxybus]

but the best and most fleshed out ‘guys’ I have played across from were female writers.

I can't say how relieved I am to know that I'm not the only one who noticed this!


Ok, here are my serious "nope" conditions.

1) When the OP says "Try to keep up with me."

I don't know why, but it sounds like they think that it's some sort of challenge for a potential partner? The last time I RPed with this kind of person who said to 'keep up' with them, they gave a claim that their post had more words than mine did. Just to prove that I had more, I put it in a word counter and screen-shotted the whole thing. Turns out I wrote around 100 words more than they did. Was it petty of me to do that? Yes, very. Do not do this, or you'll be a major asshole. But, still, it ticked me off! It's not a competition, dammit. We're trying to make an enjoyable story, not pissing on each other's word count.

2) THIS. (Disclaimer: Not a real quote, but you won't be hard pressed to find something similar)

What I expect from you:
-18+
-Male and female characters
-Canon characters and OCs for my OCs
-Multiple characters in the RP
-Can drive the plot forward with every post
-Can write 750+ words per post
-Can post twice a day

What I can offer:
-18+
-Female OC only (see sheet below)
-A post every other day

...

Excuse me what. It's a no from me, dawg. I'll drive the plot forward, but only if you agreed to. But you won't even follow your own rules.

3) "English must be your first/native language."

Okay, this one's a little grey for me. I completely understand that it can be synonymous with "I want a partner who has an understanding of English grammar." The previous is a completely valid requirement for RPs.

I'm not a native speaker, though I consider myself decent at English. When I started high school, I avoided ESL classes completely just because I don't really have to think to speak/write in English. I'm certain that there are many others who don't have English as a first language and can write better than some native speakers. So unless the OP has some strange agenda, asking for fluency rather than English being a partner's first language may be a better choice.

4)

2. I need specific gendered partners cuz romance.
Says to me you think we're dating if I write a story with you. No thanks.

Males only-Does that mean they only want a male partner and male characters? Either way no flexibility no me.

Too specific requirements. Like, "I only play 18-year old females and need my partner to be male irl" Those things scare me off.

THIS THIS AND THIS!

I won't add onto this.

5) This might be super specific, but I'll leave if an interest check has hundreds of anime gifs with lolis and children. I don't want to be in a roleplay that's your personal lolita harem. I just can't care enough to be a part of that.

6) And finally, political agendas in RPs. I don't need to say more, and I don't want to say more.





Ok it's like 3 am goodnight everyone hope ya have a wonderful day!~ ♡

 

[apolla]

For me specifically, a few things.

1. "I only play female." And don't get me wrong-- I get it. Roleplaying should be something you enjoy, not something you're forced to do. If you enjoy playing a female, by all means, play a female. But damn if this doesn't make me X out of a tab quicker than anything. It's annoying. Most of the time when I see this, it's because people don't try. I like to think I play a decent dude despite being female IRL, but that's because I've TRIED. I WORKED at it. So if you only play female-- more power to you, I guess? I probably won't RP with you.
2. Poor grammar. And I don't mean someone who's native language isn't English, I mean (again) someone who doesn't try. Effort goes a long way.
3. Lack of detail. If I can't figure out what you rp as, what you wanna rp, or anything about you? I'm out.
4. "I don't do romance." This is mostly personal for me because, well, I love romance. I like for it to at least have a chance of being included, you know?
5. No coding, plain font. Again, this is mostly personal for me. It comes off to me as a lack of effort, I realize that it might not be, but I like BBCode. It makes the thread look nice, and if for some reason I can't read it, I have no issue highlighting or quoting the thread to read it, especially if I think we might make a good match.
6. Frequent responses. I usually don't do them. I'm 27, and I have a full time job. If I think you're gonna bug me for replies, I won't bother.
7. And this one I super agree with-- attitude. If you come across as a douchebag, I won't bother.

 

[Laifan]

The ones that lack any effort and are composed solely of a couple of sentences stating they're searching for someone to roleplay with (bonus points if they have wonky grammar). That's the sole purpose of this website, of course you're searching for someone to roleplay with.

The ones with generic title of "searching for new roleplay partners". It'll save everyone time if you state specific things on the title (like, fandoms, OCs, specific pairings.) On a computer you're able to hover and preview the thread to check if it meets your interest. I mostly use my phone so chances are I'm not even accessing it.

The ones with very specific word count demands. I get it, everyone hates constant one-liners (that's the only limit I specify myself). But having to write a specific character or scene while having to keep a specific word count in mind feels more like a chore to me than writing for enjoyment. My inspiration and the scene itself will dictate how much I write, simple as that. It has nothing to do with the effort or willingness to do it but to keep the story flowing naturally.

And finally the worst ones for me are of the sort "Female seeking Male to roleplay" or "Will only roleplay with a Male partner." I won't touch those with a ten foot pole. If you need your writing partner to be a specific gender, you're mistaking this for a dating app.

 

[peritwinkle]

3) "English must be your first/native language."

Couldn’t agree more. English isn’t my first language but I treat it like it is when it comes to writing. Asking for proficiency in English would be a better way to put it, because not to be a total arse but there are so many native English speakers out there with terrible spelling and grammar.

 

[Laifan]

Couldn’t agree more. English isn’t my first language but I treat it like it is when it comes to writing. Asking for proficiency in English would be a better way to put it, because not to be a total arse but there are so many native English speakers out there with terrible spelling and grammar.

Word. I have no idea if all my role-playing partners are native English or not, but I have no issues with their writing!

And also I'm not native English myself, but I do work with English language daily, and I have this hobby as a way to improve my descriptive writing (aside from enjoying it, of course).

 

[Onmyoji]

Requesting English being first language does sound a bit elitist to me.
At least half of my rp partners are not native English speakers, myself included.

 

[Tove]

I understand some people want to keep up with I guess the setting of a roleplay like an anime image of some young dude might not fit in a historical setting but I move on from a search thread when there's the mandatory "realistic face claims only" "anime pictures only" or anything else that restricts me to make the decision about what I see my character to look like. I'm usually good to choose according to the setting but one thing I don't like is feeling as if my options are limited.

Going back to my males only comment, doubling. "Alright, since I only play females I'm more than happy to double to play out my female lead 100 percent in the romance against your male main lead though with my male character, who has become more of a background side show, I will half-ass everything because I'm not really good at playing males you understand right?"

Canon characters only. You MUST play a canon for my oc only.

I'm up for anything! Anything at all.....except when you start pitching ideas to me then I don't do that and you can pick a character for me you can start the opener too.

 

[PhoenixMire]

Going back to my males only comment, doubling. "Alright, since I only play females I'm more than happy to double to play out my female lead 100 percent in the romance against your male main lead though with my male character, who has become more of a background side show, I will half-ass everything because I'm not really good at playing males you understand right?"

This definitely turns me away, which is probably weird of me considering that I'm pretty comfortable RPing male characters, so I'd be okay with RPing a male while my RP partner plays a female. And yet... whenever someone says something akin to "I only like to RP females, but I guess I can double up and RP a male if you absolutely want to RP a female too..." It just comes across to me as really reluctant and lazy. I'm definitely guilty of saying the exact opposite (things like "I prefer to RP male characters but can try to RP a female") so I guess I'm not one to talk. But at least I feel like I'm the type who would do my best to give equal attention to all my characters regardless.

 

[rae2nerdy]

This definitely turns me away, which is probably weird of me considering that I'm pretty comfortable RPing male characters, so I'd be okay with RPing a male while my RP partner plays a female. And yet... whenever someone says something akin to "I only like to RP females, but I guess I can double up and RP a male if you absolutely want to RP a female too..." It just comes across to me as really reluctant and lazy. I'm definitely guilty of saying the exact opposite (things like "I prefer to RP male characters but can try to RP a female") so I guess I'm not one to talk. But at least I feel like I'm the type who would do my best to give equal attention to all my characters regardless.

I think it’s the assumption that they know your preference without even asking. It’s rude and presumptuous.

If someone just says “I play X gender please play the opposite.” Or even “I prefer X gender but I can try the opposite.”

They are just listing their own preferences which is fine.

But when they say “ I will play a male but only if you play a male for me.” Or “I prefer females, but I’m willing to double up so we both get females.”

It’s basically them telling you what your pairing has to be and forcing you to play two characters for them.

While usually giving off the impression they’re only doing it to “please” you not becaus they really want you to play two characters. And definitely not because they want to play two characters themselves.

It’s passive aggressive, or at least it comes across that way to me. Like I should thank this person for making the huge sacrifice of playing a second character that I didn’t even request just so I won’t complain about playing their love interest.

Like just ask me to play the love interest for gods sake. It’s less annoying and I’ll be far more likely to say yes.

 

[PhoenixMire]

I think it’s the assumption that they know your preference without even asking. It’s rude and presumptuous.

If someone just says “I play X gender please play the opposite.” Or even “I prefer X gender but I can try the opposite.”

They are just listing their own preferences which is fine.

But when they say “ I will play a male but only if you play a male for me.” Or “I prefer females, but I’m willing to double up so we both get females.”

It’s basically them telling you what your pairing has to be and forcing you to play two characters for them.

While usually giving off the impression they’re only doing it to “please” you not becaus they really want you to play two characters. And definitely not because they want to play two characters themselves.

It’s passive aggressive, or at least it comes across that way to me. Like I should thank this person for making the huge sacrifice of playing a second character that I didn’t even request just so I won’t complain about playing their love interest.

Like just ask me to play the love interest for gods sake. It’s less annoying and I’ll be far more likely to say yes.

Lol you just put into words how I feel. You’re right, it seems really reluctant and pretty passive aggressive, so that’s probably why it turns me away.
It just rubs me the wrong way when they say “I GUESS I can double up to play a male for you but only if you play a male for me!!” cause then, like you said, it feels as if they’re saying “be thankful to me for doing this for you even though I really don’t want to and I probably won’t give nearly as much attention to my male character as my others.”
I’m sure that isn’t at all their intention, at least for most people, but that’s how it kinda comes across.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Lol you just put into words how I feel. You’re right, it seems really reluctant and pretty passive aggressive, so that’s probably why it turns me away.
It just rubs me the wrong way when they say “I GUESS I can double up to play a male for you but only if you play a male for me!!” cause then, like you said, it feels as if they’re saying “be thankful to me for doing this for you even though I really don’t want to and I probably won’t give nearly as much attention to my male character as my others.”
I’m sure that isn’t at all their intention, at least for most people, but that’s how it kinda comes across.

I think it's because they probably recieved criticism in the past because they always made their partner play a specific gender in a romantic pairing. But they don't like playing that gender so the way they took the criticism is just - well to be fair we both have to play a character we don't want to play so that we can each get to play the character we really want.

Rather than thinking - oh hey maybe I just need to find partners that don't mind playing a specific gender. Or I need to start asking my partner what THEY would like to play in the roleplay.

Like I think the thought is good but the execution is still pretty selfish. Because it's still only about what they want not what their partner wants. Which is really the problem with only making your partner play a specific gender. It's not the gender that's the problem. It's that your not taking your partners wants into consideration and making the roleplay all about you.

 

[Idea]

For this one I focused specifically on 1x1 interest checks. For me groups are mostly about point 0 and the GM's way of typing and structural choices (from which I tend to infer things) that lead me to either read furhter or quit it partway. I'm also going by the assumption that the question is "what makes you nope out before reading the whole thing" and not just anything that makes us not go for a roleplay.

0.The Title (totally didn't forget to put this here when I began writing the post) Titles kind of matter because they are the first point of contact with RPs. A bad title or a title that reveals right away that the focus of the contents is uninteresting does not pull me in, but a good enough title can sometimes even draw me in when I'm not actually looking.

1.Not Accepting My RPing Style And/Or Needs: I have a very...peculiar style of roleplay, and I don't hold as many RPs as I used to because I don't have the time to experiment that much. Since I want to make the most out of any RP I'm in, getting a partner that not only is ok with, but can actually accept and get excited about my way of doing things is what I look for first and foremost. (this covers a lot tbh. Cannon character usage, to not wanting first person, making demands I can't fufill, plots against my limits, wanting to roleplay off site. or on PMs, etc...)

2.Too Short: I'm sorry if it sounds petty, but I just can't believe the person is going to be committed if they make the search thread too short. I look for partners with passion, drive and innitiative. If they don't have what it takes to write more than 5 lines for their interest check, and can't even be bothered to state their own preferences, then I'm not trusting them to keep up with my needs or be a fruitful partner.

3."I Am Willing to Do ANYTHING": Goes back to what I said before. If you don't have innitiative and passion, I can't work with you. "Hold Idea, what do you mean they have no passion? They said they would do anything". Thing is, passion requires preference. Nobody can be passionate about everything at once, and so in the best case scenario that person will detract from whatever I want to do to focus on some random thing, and on most scenarios they are a ghosting incident waiting to happen.

4.Realistic Pictures or Too Many Live Action Fandoms: Kind of part of point 1, but it has to do with the fact I like to use anime pictures. If the person has either of those things, they probably don't like to use anime pictures.

5.I need X daily responses/at least one post every Y days: (X>0 ^ Y<4) I just can't promise that. Nomatter how great you are, I just know I physically cannot do that.

6.Using Vocabulary Like "Submissive", "Dominant", "Uke" "Seme"...: Let's ignore the smut RP implications there, because I know not everyone who says those things is looking for smut. However, I have not in my entire life encountered one person who properly characterizes and uses those terms, the cause of this being that this is often taken as the whole characterization. A lot of people using these terms just take "submissive" to be enough and the character not needing anything beyond that except maybe "she's beautiful and kind" or something equally vague and meaningless.

7.When the Interest Check(er?) Doesn't Care About Me: Everybody roleplays for themselves and for their own interests, which is why it's important to remember that your interest checks aren'tbeing written to appease you, they are written to try to convince other people your ideas are worth their time and dedication. If someone's ideas are entirely focused on them or too clearly favor them giving them all the interesting roles and such, then I am just not gonna be convinced.

8.Attitude: Mostly self-explanatory, if you're a pr*ck, arrogant or just bored instead of actually wanting to do things I would prefer keeping my distance.

9.No Personality, All Mechanical: I mentioned a few times how important passion and drive are to me, and if often shows in the construction of the interest check and how it is written whether someone is writing it to lay it out or if they actually mean it and approach you like a friend. I need to be able to tell they are invested often, and if it feels more like a shopping list than an invitation it just won't charm me.

 

[Pandaskel]

1. Romance is a must, if there is no romance I get bored.
If you can't think of a way to make your character/the story interesting without trying to get into another characters pants than it's a hard no.

2. I need specific gendered partners cuz romance.
Says to me you think we're dating if I write a story with you. No thanks.

THIS. I’m not gonna be your fantasy/wish fulfillment.

Also:

•“Must double” - No thanks, pal.

•”You play canon, I play my OC” - Dude, just write a fanfic.

•”Dark/mature themes” - You can romanticize addiction and mental illness to your heart’s content, but I’m not for it. I’m not down for anxiety attacks because of your depiction of youth substance use.

Or, you know, my preference is lighthearted. Take your pick as to my reasoning.

•Super bouncy energetic people - I wish I was this way because I think I’d be more likeable and people wouldn’t think I’m angry all the time, but I’m not. So I clash with the more fun people on this site.

•”Long-term” - Personally, I’m ditch friendly. You and I both know we’re gonna get plotting, MAYBE get a few posts in, and then never speak again. And I need to know that if I’m not feeling you, I can bounce.

•”Lots of OOC talk” - No thanks, chief. Most of the time, I don’t need “friends”, not through RPs. Because the “friendship” lasts as long as the RP does. And I don’t really think that you need to like someone to write with them.

•when they write like this - i get that its a stylistic choice most of the time and when they’re actually rping they have proper capitalization and punctuation and all, but im not down.

•Fetishes - If they mention that “omegaverse” thing, pregnancy, stuff like that, I’m outtie.

 

[peritwinkle]

THIS. I’m not gonna be your fantasy/wish fulfillment.

Also:

•“Must double” - No thanks, pal.

•”You play canon, I play my OC” - Dude, just write a fanfic.

•”Dark/mature themes” - You can romanticize addiction and mental illness to your heart’s content, but I’m not for it. I’m not down for anxiety attacks because of your depiction of youth substance use.

Or, you know, my preference is lighthearted. Take your pick as to my reasoning.

•Super bouncy energetic people - I wish I was this way because I think I’d be more likeable and people wouldn’t think I’m angry all the time, but I’m not. So I clash with the more fun people on this site.

•”Long-term” - Personally, I’m ditch friendly. You and I both know we’re gonna get plotting, MAYBE get a few posts in, and then never speak again. And I need to know that if I’m not feeling you, I can bounce.

•”Lots of OOC talk” - No thanks, chief. Most of the time, I don’t need “friends”, not through RPs. Because the “friendship” lasts as long as the RP does. And I don’t really think that you need to like someone to write with them.

•when they write like this - i get that its a stylistic choice most of the time and when they’re actually rping they have proper capitalization and punctuation and all, but im not down.

•Fetishes - If they mention that “omegaverse” thing, pregnancy, stuff like that, I’m outtie.

I can’t say I agree. Doubling is a perfectly reasonable requirement, as well as OOC talk. Some stories take lots of planning and communication is key in keeping a story going for more than 3 replies.

 

[rae2nerdy]

peritwinkle So I think doubling means different things to a lot of people.

In my experience however 99.9% of the time “must double” is basically when someone really wants you to play the male for their female. But since demanding people play a specific gender is pretty commonly an asshole thing to do they try to be “subtle” by saying “well I guess I can play a male after all BUT ONLY if you play TWO characters of a gender and sexuality I decide.

It’s selfish as hell.

Now maybe you mean double in a different context but since 99.99% of the time it’s just selfish controlling behavior I can see why it would be an automatic no for a lot of people.

 

[peritwinkle]

peritwinkle So I think doubling means different things to a lot of people.

In my experience however 99.9% of the time “must double” is basically when someone really wants you to play the male for their female. But since demanding people play a specific gender is pretty commonly an asshole thing to do they try to be “subtle” by saying “well I guess I can play a male after all BUT ONLY if you play TWO characters of a gender and sexuality I decide.

It’s selfish as hell.

Now maybe you mean double in a different context but since 99.99% of the time it’s just selfish controlling behavior I can see why it would be an automatic no for a lot of people.

Doubling to me means not having to write a story involving only 2 characters. I normally play multiple characters and although I love romance I don’t always pair them. But I see where you’re coming from, I have spotted some threads like that and it’s certainly not my cup of tea either.

 

[Pandaskel]

I can’t say I agree. Doubling is a perfectly reasonable requirement, as well as OOC talk. Some stories take lots of planning and communication is key in keeping a story going for more than 3 replies.

I disagreed with lots of people’s “Nopes” on this thread, but I didn’t say anything.