Other What are some of the BIGGEST LIES you were told as a kid?

[Nano]

"If you eat shrimp tails, you'll go to paradise."
I honestly have no clue why my dad said this, or why I even believed it, but what I do know is that I now have a habit of eating friend shrimp, tail and all. >.>;;

"It's your favorite grape juice"
It was probably due to being drunk, but my father once handed a cup of wine to the six year old me...wasn't fun.

"Blowing a recorder at night will make a snake appear and eat you up."
When my grandparents had come to visit us in the US, they noticed that I seemed to enjoy playing around with a recorder at night. My grandfather ended up telling me that giant snakes would come out to get me while I'm sleeping if I kept it up.

 

[Sunstone]

>My little pony is for little girls.

(Preparing my bottle of lubricant for the flame war that may ensue.)

 

[Hall Kervean]

>My little pony is for little girls.

(Preparing my bottle of lubricant for the flame war that may ensue.)

TRIGGEREEEDDDDDD
*spouts flames*

 

[adrian_]

"We're never getting divorced."

 

[colorfrost0]

"We're never getting divorced."

M hm.

 

[Hall Kervean]

"We're never getting divorced."

 

[kibou]

1. god is real (at least, for me)

2. youll feel bad if you do bad things. turns out im 99% sure my dads side of the family have some antisocial traits including low empathy and impulsiveness and it's most likely genetic

3. parents are always right and should be trusted

4. sinners are evil and should be punished. but especially gays. guess they never expected any of us to turn out gay :^)

5. watching/playing/reading violent or "sinful" shows/games/books will influence you to act out those actions or become a bad person, and should be avoided at all costs. amazingly i dont kill people and im not a raging sex and/or drug addict despite the media i consume! i read harry potter and im still not a witch! wrow

6. you can achieve anything/your dreams if you just try. alternatively: anything is possible if you just believe

7. i can and should come to my parents for anything/talk about anything with them

8. right there with you on the sugar making you hyper and gum being indigestible thing : )

9. it gets better

 

[Myrta]

"If you swallow an apple seed, a tree will grow in your stomach."

"Pickled sausages are made of real drowned people." (The name for pickled sausages literally translates to "drowned men" in my native language for some reason. It was a nightmare fuel of mine for quite a few years.)

"If you frown too much, your face will become stuck in that position!" (May actually be true because apparently I always look like I want to murder someone even though I'm feeling totally neutral.)

"You can't spend your entire life buried in books!"

"You will grow out of that." (In reference to any hobby of mine ever.)

 

[Lappi]

"If you swallow an apple seed, a tree will grow in your stomach."

"Pickled sausages are made of real drowned people." (The name for pickled sausages literally translates to "drowned men" in my native language for some reason. It was a nightmare fuel of mine for quite a few years.)

"If you frown too much, your face will become stuck in that position!" (May actually be true because apparently I always look like I want to murder someone even though I'm feeling totally neutral.)

"You can't spend your entire life buried in books!"

"You will grow out of that." (In reference to any hobby of mine ever.)

Lol.
Yea my family was the same exact way. And unfortunately my traits were caused more by need than genetics. So now I find it hard to adapt.

 

[Greenstalker]

Hmm I will try to translate this as best.

There is a dish in my country which can be translated as watery meatball (it is something like vegetable soup with big meatballs in it).

One of most used phrase during dinner was (especially from my grandma who also loves the mentioned dish) 'finish your plate or the food will cry after you' Granted one night when the mentioned dish was served I was like 'These already cried look at all this tears it would be rude to drink their tears so I will just eat meatballs' Of course I was forced to finish rest of soup (if it was not obvious I didn't really liked soups or cooked vegetables as a kid and I am still selective about most of them to this day)

 

[Greater Soul Gem]

"Your cat ran away to live on a farm."
"Santa is real."
"Playing violent games will turn you into a criminal."
"If you burp indoors, the ghost of Dr. Seuss will haunt you."

I didn't believe any of these, I knew this was all BULLSHIT since the day I became FOUR. Except for the burping ghost thing. No idea how I fell for that one yet not the others...

 

[Hall Kervean]

No idea how I fell for that one yet not the others...

Puuuuuuure skiiiilllll.
That's how.

 

[Sunstone]

This is more of a misconception I had rather than a lie I was told.
Dad =

 

[Edna]

- "If you do not eat the crust, you will grow facial hair."

- "You will never want to go back to elementary school."

- "You can't study for the test all in one night."

 

[Hall Kervean]

- "You can't study for the test all in one night."

Again,

 

[A_Mysterious_Way]

That Monsters live in my attic, haha I went up there and it was boring as hell.

 

[Abendrot]

"You're not going to have a calculator with you wherever you go." -- My 5th grade math teacher

 

[Count Gensokyo]

"High school is so much fun!"

"You'll have so many friends!"

"It's impossible for a 16-year old to live alone!"

Wrong on all counts.

"We're never getting divorced."

1. god is real (at least, for me)

2. youll feel bad if you do bad things. turns out im 99% sure my dads side of the family have some antisocial traits including low empathy and impulsiveness and it's most likely genetic

3. parents are always right and should be trusted

4. sinners are evil and should be punished. but especially gays. guess they never expected any of us to turn out gay :^)

5. watching/playing/reading violent or "sinful" shows/games/books will influence you to act out those actions or become a bad person, and should be avoided at all costs. amazingly i dont kill people and im not a raging sex and/or drug addict despite the media i consume! i read harry potter and im still not a witch! wrow

6. you can achieve anything/your dreams if you just try. alternatively: anything is possible if you just believe

7. i can and should come to my parents for anything/talk about anything with them

9. it gets better

Lol.
Yea my family was the same exact way. And unfortunately my traits were caused more by need than genetics. So now I find it hard to adapt.

"Your cat ran away to live on a farm."
"Santa is real."
"Playing violent games will turn you into a criminal."

I didn't believe any of these, I knew this was all BULLSHIT since the day I became FOUR.

Ow the edge

 

[Zombocalypse]

I was told that women gave birth through their penises...

I am not joking. Somebody really told me that.

 

[Lappi]

Ow the edge

Well no, some people do actually go to phycologist and have to live with the fact that they think differently than others. I go to a phycologist 3 times a month. I had 5 close family members die before the age of 11, including my own mum. As a result I did what any kid would do and shut down, but it carried over to adolescent and adult years.

 

[Edna]

"You're not going to have a calculator with you wherever you go." -- My 5th grade math teacher

That's the most accurate lie I've seen so far omg.

 

[Reine]

Maybe not the biggest, but it messed with me for years.

When I was seven or so my grandmother told me that the crust of the bread was the healthiest part. I don't know what she intended to accomplish there, as I still never ate them. It was just one of those things you hear and accept and forget. I was THIRTEEN when my friend offered me her bread crust and I told her she should just eat it, because that part was the healthiest.
She disagreed. I insisted. Then I actually thought about how bread is made. It took six years for that lovely conclusion. Thanks grandma.

Another one I think was intended to be a joke, but I actually believed for a while. My mum said that hurricanes were named after girls, because otherwise we would call them himicanes.

 

[The Faceless King]

Eating carrots would give me the ability to see in the dark or some shit like that.

 

[Hall Kervean]

Eating carrots would give me the ability to see in the dark or some shit like that.

I just heard they made your eyes better.
But that'd be cool.
Screw NVGs, amirite?

 

[Simple]

If I wandered off from my parents side and got lost I would definitely be sold to the circus.