Realistic or Modern Victorian London

[GreyZone]

"How do you know if you won't even try, Victor?" She pleaded, shaking her head at him. "How can you be content to always live within yourself? Do you ever do anything outside of your comfort zone?" He could be infuriating!! Why was he just so satisfied with bein mediocre, with being dormant and the same? Did it not get boring?





She stiffened a little when he mentioned that no respectable husband would want to take a woman to be his wife that didn't have her virginity still. "No one has to know," she whispered. "If it would happen, it would be between you and me alone."


"But..." She sighed wistfully when she looked toward Jack. "I'm not in love with him, Mr. Edwards. I do want to marry a man I am in love with, who I will not be miserable beside. I know I should be looking for who will provide, protect, make money, whatnot... But what is that if I don't even love the man?"

 

[Syrrus]

"I am almost forty of age, I have done plenty outside my comfort zone and now I fear that I wish to simply be comfortable. I have experienced enough, now I simply wish to live my life to my liking. The excitement I wish for lies in the open world, not in a wife's arm with the nagging of child-cry!" He shrugged his shoulders, for the mere thought made cold shiver climb up his spine. "I travel the worlds, with danger to my life to write and create wonders, not to become a father locked into a rich man's house."


There was no winning with Victor, he had come to the realization that their ideal excitement in life lay too far apart. "Then I suggest that you either follow that dream of yours to find a husband, or wait until your love changed direction to someone who wants the same, for I am not the one. I apologize, my darling."

 

[GreyZone]

Margaret shook her head slowly and finally pushed herself to a standing position. She had hoped that he would just give in if she tried hard enough, finally be pushed over the edge to do what she had spent years trying to accomplish. "Fine, Mr. Edwards. Then should I leave? Because currently, my options are to depart from our journey and find someone else only God knows where, or stay to marry Jack, and continue as we are now but with him as a husband. Would it upset you, Mr. Edwards, for me to be with him and sleep with him and spend all of my time investing him, or would you feel relief for I am no longer your burden to bear?"


In all honesty, it infuriated her that he was willing to have affairs with other people but not her. This might have stemmed from a good place, but it still ibinfuriated her. She was not a child and did not need protecting; she pointed that out rather repeatedly. He must have understood that by then. So it had to be that he was attempting to avoid heartache, but then why did he insist on doing what he was denying her with other people?


But to avoid lashing out at him again, she moved toward her bags and sat right in the dirt. Her pale fingers slowly unwound her braid, her eyes staring vacantly at the ground as she did so. She was too exhausted with the subject to give it one more tear. Mr. Edwards was a lost cause, and she would finally just have to drill a hole through her skull and accept it no matter how badly it hurt.

 

[Syrrus]

"You are speaking as if both options are something I would enjoy to take. Please Margaret, you may be as bitter as you want with me, but you must realize that returning to England now would not be something you could do, unless you want to travel all the way back to the ship, and hope someone will take you." Victor lay back down and pulled his book out of his backpack, to once again start reading in silence. She could do what she saw fit, he was not there to put a break on her life but she was not one to join her either.


"As you said, you could not marry Jack. Perhaps there is a American somewhere here who will obtain your heart, where I failed to keep it? Perhaps in a another lifetime, the two of us would have an happy ending."

 

[GreyZone]

"You have given me no reason to believe that you would be dissatisfied with either option as of now," she replied in an emotionless voice. She reached behind her back to undo her dress, slipping it right off. "And I am too mentally exhausted to waste the time crawling behind trees as I normally do to change my clothing. But of course, as you have pointed out before, it's nothing that you haven't seen."


As she unlaced the corset she still insisted on wearing--it had been such an expensive gift, after all, and she wasn't exactly a wasteful girl--she let out a heavy sigh. "I do not wish to fight with you in the least, Mr. Edwards, and I do so wish that circumstances were easier. But I now know that nothing I say or do will sway your mind, so I will stop trying even if I have spent the better part of four years doing so."

 

[Syrrus]

Mister Edwards proceeded but rolling to his side, back facing towards him as he had to enjoy the frustrated feeling of trousers getting a bit too tight, as he continued to mutter the poetic words in his book. She was a evil temptress and he would have nothing of it. "Four years in one life is hardly enough to feel as a waste. Who knows, perhaps it will lead you to greater shores."

 

[GreyZone]

"Can you help me? I know you did so well at that damn restaurant..." She muttered under her breath as she made her way over to him. "My sister did it all of the time I was at home and usually I can manage, but I burned my hand last night and gripping the stays hurts too badly." Margaret sat down in front of him, gathering her waist-length hair on one side of her shoulders.


She was completely oblivious to what she was doing to him; he spent so much time assuring her that nothing would happen or come of it that it never even crossed her mind that she could still manage to arouse him. And, of course, she had absolutely no idea what arousal did to men physically. Changing infants' diapers was the extent of her interaction with that particular area of men.

 

[Syrrus]

"You must be the most--" He cursed and sat up, placing his book over his lap to hide any embarrassment as he grabbed the strings to her corset in firm hands. "You are not stupid, in fact I believe you to be one of the most intelligent women I have ever met." He continued, while tying her corset as tight as he knew was needed - and proper. If she could talk without a gasp it was simply not tight enough. "But you sure are bad at listening, and you say I ignore subjects which I find uncomfortable; at least I still hear them."


He tied her corset and frowned at her with frustration. "Stop teasing me when I have made up my mind." He pointed with a frustrated finger towards Jack. "Go to the chimney sweep if you are looking for that kind of entertainment."

 

[GreyZone]

"No," she gasped in exasperation. "You're supposed to untie it, Mr. Edwards! I was planning on going to bed, considering that it is so late! Why in the world would I want you to lace me back up if I was attempting to take it off? I cannot sleep in this monstrosity; I can hardly breathe in it."


Margaret turned around and gave him a strange look. "What are you talking about? I am doing nothing of the sort, let alone teasing you!" She shook her head. "You are one interesting man, Mr. Edwards. Now please undo it before I faint."

 

[Syrrus]

"Huh?" It was the first time in his life that Victor Edwards had accidently blurted a noise without a purpose. He had never thought that she actually wished him to untie her, for whatever reason. This of course only caused him to frown deeper, as if he needed no further proof. "Perhaps I thought it foolish that you would undress to sleep in the wild." He simply explained as he untied the corset with one easy pull and went to lay back down, back turned to the good lady.

 

[GreyZone]

"No, I am not sleeping naked, you barbarian," she replied, holding the undergarment to her torso as she made her way back over to her bag. "I just would never wish trying to sleep in a corset on my worse enemy."


She turned her back on him as she carefully eased it into her bag, and then slipped an older, softer dress that served as a nightgown over her head. "Why did you make such a large issue out of that? I thought you would chatistise me if I was self conscious of my back and shoulders in front of a man."

 

[Syrrus]

"It has been a long day and you have been confusing me immensely." Victor waved a hand dismissively and rolled back to his side in an attempt to go back to sleep, even if he was far from tired now. The annoying tune of Jack's harmonica filled the night air and brought him into deeper frustration.

 

[GreyZone]

Margaret watched him for a wistful moment before stretching back out, the terrain suddenly much rougher under her cheek as she felt it had been before. Her mouth harbored a bitter taste; she had gone out on a limb for him, fallen terribly, and humiliated herself beyond words no matter how quickly he had dismissed her. How did he do it? How did he manage to hold her constant affections and thoughts when he so blatantly disregarded and mortified her?


-


She spent most of the night sleepless, tormented by thoughts that were simply growing more and more annoyed as she remained on them. But she had been hired and she wasn't one to shirk her duties no matter how bitter she was, so she rose as soon as the sun did to prepare breakfast for the two men.

 

[Syrrus]

"Mornin' doll." Said Jack as he approached her. He hadn't gotten much sleep himself, yet that was hardly unusual seeing how he was their lookout. He gave her his flattering smile and planted himself down next to her as he began to clean out his harmonica. "Slept well?"


Victor woke shortly thereafter, he said not a word to either of them and instead started to go through his bags, looking for empty sheets of paper.

 

[GreyZone]

"Good morning, Jack," she replied as good-naturedly as she could make the words leave her tongue, even though her heart was filled with a bitterness as she stoked the fire. "I did not sleep well, no, but I'm sure you did not either."


Her eyes trailed wistfully after Victor for a moment, lingering on the beautiful lines of his form, the shine of his hair in the morning sunlight that she longed to touch but knew she would never be able to. After a moment, she peeled her eyes from him and announced to Jack, "I should like to kiss you, if you should like to be kisssed."

 

[Syrrus]

Jack blinked a few times out of confusion. He hadn't expect anyone to want to kiss him that morning, perhaps it was the lack of sleep which kept his ego at bay - or his eagerness. He gave her a wide grin and tilted his head. "Shucks, miss, are you trying to make me all flustered? It sure is doin' its job if that was your intent. What man wouldn't want a kiss from you?"


Victor couldn't help but lose his concentration due to the conversation of his two followers. He frowned, yet said nothing and tried his hardest to focus upon his notes - which indeed wasn't there seeing as the paper were blank.

 

[GreyZone]

A faint laugh left Margaret's lips and she shook her head. "That was not my intention." It had also not been her intention to make Victor flustered when she had asked for her corset to be untied, but that was an intirely different matter in itself. Before, she had been convinced that nothing could make Victor flustered, let alone herself.


But regardless, Margaret sat back on her hip beside Jack (after arranging her skirts around herself, of course). "I don't have the faintest idea of why you're waiting, Mr. Jack. Was my invitation not clear enough for your liking?" Her eyes sparkled with mirth as she teased the poor man.

 

[Syrrus]

Jack couldn't help but look sheepish. His cheeks instantly turned pink and he scratched the back of his head as his eyes darted from one place to another. "I eh-- You see, mi-- Miss Margaret, I've-- Well... I've kissed a girl before, sure but-- But not a lady like yourself." The young man peered at her with nervous eyes. "I am sorry if I can't take ya' hands and sweep you of ya feet or nothin'" He swallowed and it was almost as if his usual cheerful and careless personality had lifted and flown away as Jack leaned forward, with his hands keeping himself from falling forward, palms planted upon the ground he placed his rough lips against hers.


It was lucky for Victor that the fire was making enough sound for the noise of paper being torn apart to seem soundless, for without even realizing he had ripped his music sheet in half while his left eye twitched something awful.

 

[GreyZone]

"I am no lady and you are well aware of that," Margaret replied gently before his mouth met hers. "I have no noble blood and I have worked my whole life and I have only kissed silly boys in the school yard, so I have no standards of a great lover to hold you up against, Sir, I assure you. You have no cause to be nervous."


Her little hand that had grown softer away from the scalding water of the dishes in her father's home had made its way to rest against his unshaven cheek, her eyes drifting shut as they kissed. After a few moments, she murmured loud enough for Victor to hear, "Our master has made it quite clear to me that he has no interest in perusing me further and I am of nineteen years of age, Jack. My mother told me that I should be married by sixteen and look at me now, almost a spinster."

 

[Syrrus]

Jack moved away, only an inch so that he would speak to her with greater easy, his hands still steady against the hard ground. He peered into her eyes, not certain what she was implying. "A gal' sure has a lot to live up to..." he mumbled, ignoring her words about the Lord.


Victor pulled a bottle of whiskey from his bag, uncorked it and swung it upwards as he swallowed down the bitter yet familiar taste. He had been sober for far too long, without a reason to drink, it seemed like he had all the reasons in the world now.


"I don't think I deserv you though, ma'am..." Jack continued, rather saddened. "No you don't." Answered Victor, as he wiped his mouth with his shirt. "You don't deserve her at all"

 

[GreyZone]

"I have wasted my teenage years flirting with men whom I despise and pining after men who want nothing of me," Margaret replied, thinking only of one man in particular. "And if my husband would like multiple children, I do not mind if I am uncouth, I must get started on that right away because everyone has heard of the difficulties and horrors of childbirth. My own dear mother has died from it."


Margaret startled and her head snapped around to look at Victor, her eyes soon falling to the neck of the bottle that he had his fist wrapped around. "If Jack does not deserve me, for I am a no one, no more than the dirt on the ground, who does?"

 

[Syrrus]

"Oh gods, you do love to twist my words, don't you?" spat Victor, suddenly feeling the urge to return to even worse habits than the bottle. "I do not believe you to be dirt, Margaret, in fact I love you darely, but I am not a man who wishes to be married. I know that you want a married life, I know that you want children - none of which I can give you. Therefore I refuse to bed you, I refuse to promise you a life of eternal love because I won't be able to give you what you want most."


Jack leaned backwards, looking rather downtrodden. "Ah, so ya' only wanted the kingships attention? I- I suppose that's alright then."

 

[GreyZone]

"I no longer care of what you say because I offered myself to you on a silver platter and you acted as if I was a mouse, nothing more than a rodent underneath your foot who deserved not a glimmer of your time," Margaret replied coldly. "Do forgive me for trying to get over a man such as you, Mr. Edwards."


She then turned to Jack with one eyebrow arched and told him, "I have a mind to just take you into the woods and give you my maidenhead as of right now, considering that our lord and master has no interest in making a claim to it."

 

[Syrrus]

"Fine!" Victor got up and removed his coat. "I'll give in. I'll make love to you as a lover would, but you cannot say that I didn't warn you."


Jack threw himself backwards. Margaret had directed her words towards him, not the Lord, yet he felt that he had to escape to get out of harm's way. "S-- Should I just let ya be alone for a while?"

 

[GreyZone]

Margaret's eyes widened at his sudden change of tune, and she quickly rose with her skirts in hand. She knew it would most likely be a bad idea, considering that Mr. Edwards was already upset with her, but she would not ever waste the chance while he was offering if.


She glanced back at Jack and she actually felt sad for a moment. She had used him as a plaything and for what? Only to make Victor jealous? That seemed to be about her only track of mind.


So she bent down and brushed a soft kiss against Jack's forehead, her eyes squeezed shut. "I apologize for everything that has happened."