AgentFire
Senior Member
Earlier today, I posted a venting session, but I failed to truly hit on one of the biggest issues in my life. And I don't care if I'm only a teen, it's important to me, and I imagine I take it more seriously then most. The point of this venting session is love.
Back in kindergarden, I first tasted love. However young I was, I'll never forget her name. Melanie. It was like a melody to me. And her older sister was nice too (I think I might've had a crush on her, but idk, Melanie was still the apple of my eye). But growing up, things changed. We fell a part after a couple of grades, and then came Stephanie, a girl in day care. I was 3rd she was 4th I believe, but we dated each other. However, I found myself unable to do the thing she was asking of me. Kiss. Looking back, I still kick myself, wishing I'd taken the opportunity, but... alas, it wasn't meant to be.
Throughout my past few years, I pursued love again, still not quite getting it. Around 11, I knew what I wanted, what I still want today, but the going about it wasn't easy. From around 13 on (not that I dated before then [other than the couple of girls previously mentioned]), all my dating was through the internet. And I slowly got the hang of it, and eventually, around age 15, I had my first major love. Rosie... She lived in England, and I in America. She was beautiful, but, she was more interested in herself than me, so I grew rather tired of talking to her. By 6 months, when we finally broke up, she was completely cool with it, even though I was a bit anxious about ending things. It kind of hurt how well she took it. To be honest, I think she was ashamed of me.
Going to throw in a little side note here. I have a foot fetish, and while I haven't had too many negative experiences with it, there were a few that were sour. Rosie never really liked it, others were not for or against it, one was ruined by her little sister, I'll get to that, anyways moving on.
Took me a bit, but I got interested in dating again, and I kept looking. Eventually, I found another girl who I finally got with. But, things didn't last, because she had some other plans. There might've been another, it all seems so long ago now, even though it was only less than a year. Then I met Amber #1. She was an amazing girl, who I fell madly in love with. Mind you, things lasted not that long when it came to relationships and me... But anyways, after a week, she broke my heart in fear of me breaking hers. And we never spoke again... There were some other girls, again, sorry, the details are coming in a little fuzzy... Then along came Amber #2. Amber #2 and Amber #1 were actually friends, and a tiny part of me started talking to #2 to see how #1 was doing. But I fell in love again, and unfortunately, after a month of sadness and fighting, it ended. And the main thing was because I had a foot fetish, but her little sister sucked on her toes to annoy her, and it ruined that for her....
I set up some guidelines for who I'd like to date, after another girl or two (I know, I sound terrible, because I go through them rather fast, but it's hard when you're looking for love.), I met Aubrey. Aubrey is the 2nd to last girl I dated, and she was amazing. We liked a lot of the same things, we were friends, cared about each other, and she even embraced my fetish. It was amazing to say the least. But fate always turns things sour, and after awhile, things went downhill, and we ended up breaking up. Furthermore, she knew we wouldn't last for awhile before hand. So things didn't necessarily end on the greatest terms. From that point forward though, only dating one more girl online, I told myself I'd only date irl. (Which I don't know if I'll actually manage that, considering the fact that I'd said that so many times before.) But, now, I don't talk to them anymore, because in a pursuit to gain a social life, I cut out a lot of the internet. And here I am, sad and lonely, and still hating how love is so hard. This also explains my extremely negative feelings towards Valentine's Day.
Thanks for sitting in for this Mini session. As always, feel free to comment on anything, and umm, yeah. I feel like this is the end of YouTube video, but it's not. Anyways, thanks for listening, and I'll see you in the next session.
Back in kindergarden, I first tasted love. However young I was, I'll never forget her name. Melanie. It was like a melody to me. And her older sister was nice too (I think I might've had a crush on her, but idk, Melanie was still the apple of my eye). But growing up, things changed. We fell a part after a couple of grades, and then came Stephanie, a girl in day care. I was 3rd she was 4th I believe, but we dated each other. However, I found myself unable to do the thing she was asking of me. Kiss. Looking back, I still kick myself, wishing I'd taken the opportunity, but... alas, it wasn't meant to be.
Throughout my past few years, I pursued love again, still not quite getting it. Around 11, I knew what I wanted, what I still want today, but the going about it wasn't easy. From around 13 on (not that I dated before then [other than the couple of girls previously mentioned]), all my dating was through the internet. And I slowly got the hang of it, and eventually, around age 15, I had my first major love. Rosie... She lived in England, and I in America. She was beautiful, but, she was more interested in herself than me, so I grew rather tired of talking to her. By 6 months, when we finally broke up, she was completely cool with it, even though I was a bit anxious about ending things. It kind of hurt how well she took it. To be honest, I think she was ashamed of me.
Going to throw in a little side note here. I have a foot fetish, and while I haven't had too many negative experiences with it, there were a few that were sour. Rosie never really liked it, others were not for or against it, one was ruined by her little sister, I'll get to that, anyways moving on.
Took me a bit, but I got interested in dating again, and I kept looking. Eventually, I found another girl who I finally got with. But, things didn't last, because she had some other plans. There might've been another, it all seems so long ago now, even though it was only less than a year. Then I met Amber #1. She was an amazing girl, who I fell madly in love with. Mind you, things lasted not that long when it came to relationships and me... But anyways, after a week, she broke my heart in fear of me breaking hers. And we never spoke again... There were some other girls, again, sorry, the details are coming in a little fuzzy... Then along came Amber #2. Amber #2 and Amber #1 were actually friends, and a tiny part of me started talking to #2 to see how #1 was doing. But I fell in love again, and unfortunately, after a month of sadness and fighting, it ended. And the main thing was because I had a foot fetish, but her little sister sucked on her toes to annoy her, and it ruined that for her....
I set up some guidelines for who I'd like to date, after another girl or two (I know, I sound terrible, because I go through them rather fast, but it's hard when you're looking for love.), I met Aubrey. Aubrey is the 2nd to last girl I dated, and she was amazing. We liked a lot of the same things, we were friends, cared about each other, and she even embraced my fetish. It was amazing to say the least. But fate always turns things sour, and after awhile, things went downhill, and we ended up breaking up. Furthermore, she knew we wouldn't last for awhile before hand. So things didn't necessarily end on the greatest terms. From that point forward though, only dating one more girl online, I told myself I'd only date irl. (Which I don't know if I'll actually manage that, considering the fact that I'd said that so many times before.) But, now, I don't talk to them anymore, because in a pursuit to gain a social life, I cut out a lot of the internet. And here I am, sad and lonely, and still hating how love is so hard. This also explains my extremely negative feelings towards Valentine's Day.
Thanks for sitting in for this Mini session. As always, feel free to comment on anything, and umm, yeah. I feel like this is the end of YouTube video, but it's not. Anyways, thanks for listening, and I'll see you in the next session.
