Ugh, parents...

[Emmettson]

I know surely there are adults on here and I know there might be some parents too, but I have one huge question for anyone who is raising a teenager:


If you have been exactly in our place before, fifteen years old and stressing greatly over school, then why do you act like it is no big deal?


I have seven classes. Each teacher thinks one hour of homework is a good amount, because we need time to do other activities after school. That is one hour for each of my seven classes: seven hours of homework. I get out of school at 2:30 and I have to walk the dog, babysit, vacuum, and do other chores until my mom gets home at 6:00 for dinner. I still have seven hours of homework; I end up only completing half of it, and my mother gets mad at me for slacking off in my other classes. Did children in the 80's not get as much work as us? It does not make sense to me.


My mother was a cheerleader in high school. She dated an (apologies if this is rasict) over-spoiled white surfer boy in high school, who was my dad. I know I should not be following stereotypes, but I think a cheerleader dating a rich white boy gets bullied a lot less than a gay teen with anemia who gets mistaken for a girl. My mother thinks she knows so much better than me; she thinks I am lying about the sexual harrassment, she thinks I am lying about getting beat up, and she thinks I wrote the word f***** on myself for attention. There are millions of teens who are victims to bullying and our parents look over it. Why do you do this?! You are our parents; you are supposed to stick up for us when we need help!


All I can conclude is that the world of high school is easier than the world of adulthood our parents go through, which only makes me want to sink into the floor and die. Even though we are young and still immature, high school is the single most difficult thing we are going through right now and parents need to acknowledge that.

 

[Polaris]

1. You weren't racist. In fact, you can't be racist to white people when white people are, throughout history, the oppressors. (/lol)


2. Your dad happened to be an over-spoiled white surfer dude.


Anyway, the thing about parents is that they are either the best pillars of support or the worst. They grew up in a society that told them heterosexuality is "normal" and to some extent, I think things were slightly easier back then. My parents never acted like my education was easy, but they did also tell me that life is full of hardships. So I guess they made the same point although only in a gentler way. I have to agree that high school is pretty easy compared to what I have now. That doesn't mean that I'm not sympathetic to your distress. I, too, remember how I hated life during high school.


There isn't a perfect way of parenting. My mom was definitely the worst pillar of support when I graduated university and decided to seriously make my own decisions. What you can do is to watch your parents and learn how to not be like your parents. It's tough but maybe you just have to be patient and tolerant for now because honestly, the best person who will support you is yourself.

 

[Thorn Darkblade]

Advice from an old fart (Well, 28, but still, graduated high school a decade ago)


It's not so much that we don't think it's hard at the time. It's moreso we've gotten past it, and the things we thought were hard at the time turned out, in the end, to actually not be such a big deal. We remember acting like everything was the end of the world, and yes, -some- things were in fact a big deal, but for the most part, the names we were called, the cliques we had to try to fit into, half the stupid assignments we had, one year after high school it turns out didn't really matter.


I was never popular back in high school, and it literally felt like each day was survival. I got shoved in a locker once, so, survived by burning CD's for the football team and the ghetto kids in exchange for 'protection', which as stupid as it sounds, I was convinced was what I needed to do, being a geeky guy in a heavily jock school (so jock, in fact, our principal eventually resigned when it was discovered they were illegally transferring kids in from other districts just to play football). Sure, it was bullshit. Sure, I was convinced at some points there was really no point, and adult life would only be worse. My parents weren't overbearing like what I've read, but, instead, exactly the opposite. They didn't provide any direction, and I wish I would've been yelled at once or twice. They tried being my friends too much (odd thing to complain about, right?) when I could've just used a bit of advice on how to move forward.


But, hey, like I said, it really does get better. The bullies? Guess what? You won't have to see them again. The jocks? Unless they end up getting a sports deal, if you're intelligent, they'll end up working for you. The assignments? Well, those never stop, although they tend to take on new forms, like taxes and bills and job hunts and college and such, but, honestly, the deadlines on them tend to be in the months range instead of a day or two, so they're only late if you procrastinate.


So, to answer your question, since we've been in your place, it's not that it's not important. It's that it'll pass. Keep your chin up, and you'll come out the better for it.