This Cold Night

[GreenIV]

Welp, only recently learning there was a poetry thread cause I'm oblivious as all hell, I thought "Hey, I used to do this poetry thing. I was mediocre though.." So, here is my extremely mediocre poem on betrayal:

I strapped my sweater,

Thought it'd be for the better,

He couldn't of lied, right?

Me and him are tied with might,

On this nice cold night.

He was right,

At half past eight,

There was gold here,

It then rolled away,

On this ever so cold night.

I then heard sirens,

I felt as if I had a virus,

When the boys in blue cuffed me,

I then cussed to his name,

On this brutally cold night.​

 

[Grey]

There's potential in there. But it needs refining.


If you are interested in honing your skill, perhaps this will be of aid: https://www.rpnation.com/threads/between-the-words-a-poetry-tutorial.94456/

 

[KiwiKatz]

Kawaii, Yuukii!!

 

[Shy2Infinity]

@GreenIV I enjoyed this poem! :3 And don't worry about it being mediocre, it wasn't. Poets and authors each have their own writing style and you can't really expect a poet to write better if they write from the heart and all that jazz. All there is to it is writing from the heart

 

[Grey]

@GreenIV I enjoyed this poem! :3 And don't worry about it being mediocre, it wasn't. Poets and authors each have their own writing style and you can't really expect a poet to write better if they write from the heart and all that jazz. All there is to it is writing from the heart

Stylistic differences and actual levels of quality are distinct. This 'write from the heart' nonsense is pure laziness; an unwillingness to work hard enough to do better, or put the effort in to learn. I used to write bad poetry, then I wrote mediocre poetry, now I write poetry that is acceptable, but not yet good.


Telling people 'you tried, and that's good enough' condemns them to squander their potential.


I believe Green can do better - a rare quality.

 

[GreenIV]

Stylistic differences and actual levels of quality are distinct. This 'write from the heart' nonsense is pure laziness; an unwillingness to work hard enough to do better, or put the effort in to learn. I used to write bad poetry, then I wrote mediocre poetry, now I write poetry that is acceptable, but not yet good.
Telling people 'you tried, and that's good enough' condemns them to squander their potential.


I believe Green can do better - a rare quality.

I'll take that as a compliment


I'll be reading the thread you linked me tomorrow, try to pick up a few things. Thanks for that, by the way

 

[Grey]

Good to hear it - it was intended as a compliment, and you clearly have a mature attitude about this. Another pleasant rarity.