Murdergurl
will turn your insides into your outsides
After waiting around for all too long for anything to happen with my RP prompts, I've pretty much just lost my motivation to try at it anymore. Even though I took a recent break, I guess it still drags me down to wait and wait and wait, and have nothing come of it. Or to have people respond to my group stuff and never follow through, and in the end I just wind up settling for a 1x1 dynamic that I really have to push myself to try just so that I can get some interest. But because it isn't ACTUALLY what I want to do, well... I have very little patience for it to happen.
Long story short: Roleplaying hasn't been in my favor for quite a while, and I feel that I'm bending too much into things I don't want to do in order to try and achieve it.
So I've been thinking of going back to solo writing. The thing is, it's really hard for me to keep motivated in doing solo stuff. What always spurred me into inspiration with online RP, was the fact that I had other people to interact with. Or at the very least. I knew that other people were reading and reacting and appreciating what I was writing. I mean, obviously thy had to read it, because they ad to interact their characters with my narrative. But with my solo writing, I don't get that. So I very quickly lose my mojo and stop writing. For this reason I have tons of files of unfinished work across a myriad of genres and settings. I've tried posting my stuff as I write it to places like Wattpad or Archiveofourown. But I really don't get any feedback or hits or anything. Those places seem to cater to fanfic over original content. And I also hate that once I post something, I feel like I'm on some sort of timetable to get the next chapter out. I feel rushed, and that also demotivates me. RP posts are easy to contribute. Especially because I'm working off of what other players are giving me. Entire story chapters that I have to come up with all of my own volition, don't come about so easily.
I've tried to get some of my irl friends and even my husband to read my work as I am writing it, but they don't seem that interested. Like, I can tell they just breezed through it to get it over with. And they don't give me any real feedback. So I already know that if I do try and write on my on again, it's going to be very short-lived.
The kind of stuff I write solo really can't be posted on sites like RPN. So putting it up in the Writing forum or otherwise sharing it on places like RPN would just get me banned. I've put up bits of my stories before on adult-oriented sites, and they honestly don't care. Unless you're on those places for 1x1 ERP, you don't really get any attention.
So I'm just like... fuck... What do I do? I really don't have a lot of other hobbies that I can make time for. I used to paint and draw and do other crafty things. But those require more time and space than I can accommodate at this point in my life. Writing has always been a passion of mine, and it's a flexible hobby. Because I can feasibly write in a few paragraphs when I have the time to do so. But I have literally no support. So I dunno... I don't even know what to expect from posting this topic, as there isn't much anyone on here can do for me anyway. I guess I'm just venting my frustrations. :-/
Long story short: Roleplaying hasn't been in my favor for quite a while, and I feel that I'm bending too much into things I don't want to do in order to try and achieve it.
So I've been thinking of going back to solo writing. The thing is, it's really hard for me to keep motivated in doing solo stuff. What always spurred me into inspiration with online RP, was the fact that I had other people to interact with. Or at the very least. I knew that other people were reading and reacting and appreciating what I was writing. I mean, obviously thy had to read it, because they ad to interact their characters with my narrative. But with my solo writing, I don't get that. So I very quickly lose my mojo and stop writing. For this reason I have tons of files of unfinished work across a myriad of genres and settings. I've tried posting my stuff as I write it to places like Wattpad or Archiveofourown. But I really don't get any feedback or hits or anything. Those places seem to cater to fanfic over original content. And I also hate that once I post something, I feel like I'm on some sort of timetable to get the next chapter out. I feel rushed, and that also demotivates me. RP posts are easy to contribute. Especially because I'm working off of what other players are giving me. Entire story chapters that I have to come up with all of my own volition, don't come about so easily.
I've tried to get some of my irl friends and even my husband to read my work as I am writing it, but they don't seem that interested. Like, I can tell they just breezed through it to get it over with. And they don't give me any real feedback. So I already know that if I do try and write on my on again, it's going to be very short-lived.
The kind of stuff I write solo really can't be posted on sites like RPN. So putting it up in the Writing forum or otherwise sharing it on places like RPN would just get me banned. I've put up bits of my stories before on adult-oriented sites, and they honestly don't care. Unless you're on those places for 1x1 ERP, you don't really get any attention.
So I'm just like... fuck... What do I do? I really don't have a lot of other hobbies that I can make time for. I used to paint and draw and do other crafty things. But those require more time and space than I can accommodate at this point in my life. Writing has always been a passion of mine, and it's a flexible hobby. Because I can feasibly write in a few paragraphs when I have the time to do so. But I have literally no support. So I dunno... I don't even know what to expect from posting this topic, as there isn't much anyone on here can do for me anyway. I guess I'm just venting my frustrations. :-/
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