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Fantasy The Worst Special (Closed)

Introductory Post

Churl

Member
This is a spinoff event for Space Buddha’s The Worst Pantheon: Live and Reloaded.

Heroween Special: Spite of Passage

The world of Ocaeril is an odd one, some might say. Created and manipulated by a pantheon of bizarre gods of varying intention, virtue, sanity and even competency, Ocaeril is a melting pot of strange ideas. Yes, the gods and their role in the development of everything on Ocaeril is not to be understated. Yet sometimes, it is easy to forget they are not the only beings of relevance in this universe. Although many mortal (and immortal) lives are at least somewhat touched by the gods’ influence in one way or another, mortals have legends and events separate from the gods. One such thing, is heroes.

Whether a person is a saint or a sinner, anyone capable of surviving the dark corners of this world and their hidden terrors is certainly someone to admire. Perhaps it is this reason, this connection between heroes and the dangers they must face, that the holiday of Heroween, a holiday celebrating the First Heroine and all that follow in her footsteps, is also regarded by most cultures as a day associated with monsters and evil. Children on Heroween have long dressed as heroes and monsters and played out the battle of good and evil, and like other holidays there are rumors of holiday miracles, the spirits of past heroes protecting people in moments of peril, the fearful finding a source of inexplicable courage when they need to. Yet there are also rumors of the supernatural being unusually restless that day. Of ghost ships in the night. Of skeletal warriors appearing on islands out of a fog.

An often understated element of the heroic tale is that in order for a hero to stand out, they must face evil. Valor shines most in the darkest night, virtue is all the more cherished in contrast with the most repugnant villains. And so, every Heroween, we pray. We pray that the good in this world is bountiful. Because the wickedness is just around the corner, and it only needs to win once.


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The Isle of Ireway is near the northwest cost of the western continent. It is a decent size, a surprisingly temperate climate, and relatively untouched by the mainland. No civilized race had inhabited it before its colonization, and these same colonists were few and far between. No nation sent them, these were men and women who wished for a quiet life away from mainland civilization. It did not inhabit a strategic location, had little of scientific or explorative interest, and was all around a dreary little place so although the land was officially part of various nations over the centuries, few truly cared about its ownership or governing the inhabitants beyond making sure fugitives were not hiding out there. It is not even worth taxing the inhabitants, as the cost of collecting any coin from them would vastly overshadow any profit they could conceivably give. Roughly two hundred years ago, Ireway had become property of the United States of Spartacys. This has had little impact on its inhabitants.

The coastal town of Owlhoof is the largest settlement of the isle, with a population of almost 400 people, most of whom don’t care to know each other. In Owlhoof, there is a lodge. It is ancient, clearly centuries old and looks like it hasn’t been updated at all since its creation. This is Owlhoof’s “Adventurer’s Guild”, known as the Ireway Hero’s Guild to the mainland. There is no temple to Inqui Rey, goddess of heroes inside. There is no bustling office of receptionists cataloguing the events of the local area and coordinating with other guilds. There is only Guild-Mistress Tekkha Gravemaker. She is a retired adventurer of indeterminate age. She is also extremely angry.
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“Alright cod-pieces! Open your ears or I’ll carve new ones, got it?”

Guild-Mistress Gravemarker swivels her head around the room at the assorted people. As motley a crew as has ever been in this building, she reckons. And schlubs, every single one of them. Well, good thing this was likely to be a small matter.
“Okay, so that commune of those damn horse-folk has settled here for about four years, going on. There was a bit of a stir when they arrived, but since then things’ve quieted down. This is where y’all are going, got it?”

She points to the shortie from the Imperial Soverignty. “You, Scriptorium bore. Congratulations, you’re getting an escort. Probably the only escort a dork like you can get, eh? Sunshine Bliss is the mayor or whatever. We sent a runner down to meet him and he’s agreed to answer your questions as well as accept our guild’s help. You’ll travel with these folks down there and then you’re free to do whatever it is you fucking want.”
Gravitys Momentum Gravitys Momentum
Name: Bob Jefferson

Species: Halfling

Personality: A bit of a boring and dry person who tries to do ‘good’. His mere existence seems to make you tired and just take a nap. However he knows his stuff and how to put it into practice.
Religion: Agnostic

Background: Raised and taught by a Foundation monastery, Bob grew up as a scholar, the skills he learned continuing on in his adult life as an academic. Now being interested in the ongoing activities of a pony commune, Bob has headed there to document it, wanting to add his findings to the Scriptorium.

Skills: Bob is skilled in building statuettes. He is also able to slog through dry books for hours on end while taking notes.

Weaknesses: Bob is too empathetic causing him to go on a side quest to help out the children’s orphanage that are secretly cannibals and are wanting to eat him. However his morals let him shoot the children when needed. Bob is also bad at connecting things which causes him to not be able to get things out of context or extrapolate.

Sanity: 2
Morality: 3
Health: 4
Luck: 1

Fear Level: Normal, but in a way where he doesn’t know if he should be actually afraid of it because he doesn’t know.
She shook her head. That Halfling bore had been nagging her all week about this trip of his, but she wasn’t about to pay for two caravan rides, so she waited for the other adventurers she sent for to arrive. The lad was a borderline adventurer anyhow, what with his traveling and justified murdering, only without the balls, so she didn’t feel bad making him wait. This way she could take care of all the Guild’s problems with that too-many-horse town at once. Speaking of which...

“Oy! Emo tree hugger! You said you wanted to study the area too, right? Well I’m putting your quest down as personal bodyguard to Jefferson. It’s redundant since you’re all going together, but it looks better on the books, got it?”

Churl Churl
Name: Honey Vajeon, P.I.

Species: Wood Elf/Exodite

Personality: A sullen elf with dark rings around his eyes, and brown hair prematurely greying despite being fairly young by elf standards, Honey seems to ooze exhaustion and stress. He is prone to rambling when engaged, but otherwise remains withdrawn, preferring to investigate undetected.

Religion: The opium of the masses, no prayer can save you from the heat and the dark. (Agnostic, great fear of the gods and religious imagery in general)

Background: A wood elf detective working out of the adventurer guilds, Honey has gained somewhat of a reputation in certain circles recently after apparently finding his way into the dark world and surviving a week inside, although he refuses to say how he entered or exited the plane. Honey focuses on the supernatural and occult in his work and is very knowledgeable about magic, yet doesn’t cast any himself and despises magic due to his family getting slaughtered when his prodigy brother accidentally summoned a daemon when they were little.

Skills: Knowledge of the occult and arcane, Professional Sleuth

Weaknesses: Physically frail, Traumatized
Sanity: 2
Morality: 4
Health: 1
Luck: 3

Fear Level: Normal

She’d heard of this one, of course. Just because she’s living on a rock doesn’t mean she’s under it. She doesn’t know how or why he went galavanting across the planes, especially when he looks like he’ll piss himself any moment, but she supposes he has some backbone to him. Probably the only thing he’s got, Divisi knows he doesn’t got muscle. Always been a bit screwy, she hears. Cant blame him, what with his family and all. She can’t say she approved of how the old mages carried themselves back in the day, but at least those wizards didn’t summon knockoff fiends from the nowhere of everywhere or whatever the hells the Winds uses. At any rate, the elf had wanted to investigate strange energies he were certain were coming from the area around the commune.

She looks around for her next target. There he is, the jackass in the suit. She can small the bullshit off this freak from a mile away. This weirdo rolled into town with the last of the adventurers and also wants a ride into the commune to check out the ponies for himself. He gave an explanation, but most of the words he said went in one ear and out the other. Seems like a god-freak of some kind, though.

“Alright, smiles! Same deal as the hobbit. You’ll get escorted down there, what you do is your business. Like the other one you’ll be staying with this group at that commune’s inn or whatever.”

Puppernickel Puppernickel
Name: Durlok Fortune

Species: Human

Personality: At first glance, Durlok is a rather bland and unassuming individual, appearing to be just your average businessman in a cheap suit. In actuality he's a cold hearted schemer, constantly taking in information and doing his best to convince others to go along with his plans. Durlok puts on the air of a calm, quiet gentleman while secretly plotting out how to convince someone to do exactly what he wants them to. While he does still have a code of honor, that code is rather loose and could be dropped if certain circumstances required it.

Religion: The Whole Heart - Crystalline Choir

Background: Durlok's history is one this is not all that well known, except for a few key facts. He was born to a family of 7 siblings, his parents were well off merchants, and his mother was a believer in Tiamat. Beyond that, nothing is really known of his past. In the present, Durlok is a well off businessman, selling obscure items and unique trinkets to whomever will buy them across the western continent. Unknowingly to the public, his belief in Dementia has given him increased luck, which is what allows his small business to keep making a profit despite other, larger companies existing.

Skills: Durlok is a natural talker, whether it's to lower prices in a deal or get his way out of a sticky situation, he'll probably start by talking his way out of it. However, not everything can be solved by talking, and so Durlok has learned to be really good at running away from trouble if necessary. He's also good at identifying things, having gained knowledge on both the well known and more obscure items that one can or (usually) cant acquire.

Weaknesses: Because of his successes in business, Durlok has become rather prideful, his arrogance sometimes getting the better of him. Usually doing whatever it takes to get the job done, Durlok has no qualms with throwing someone under the bus if it furthers his own plans.

Sanity: 4
Morality: 1
Health: 2
Luck: 3

Fear Level: Coward. If he cant talk his way out of it, Durlok will get the hell out of there as fast as his legs can carry him.

Alright, now who is going to be “guarding” this shifty little prick?

“Hey spandex! I’m putting you and your boy toys down for this.”

She can’t stand these new types. Little wieners dancing around in costumes and gimmicks. Making the whole trade seem like a buncha theatrical loons. It was bad enough when adventurers started carrying around guns of all things, but this new tech just takes away the fun altogether. She remembered back when a ‘gimmick’ was just a guy named Crossbow Stan keeping pre-loaded crossbows in a bag of holding. Nowadays it’s all “Catman dressed like a cat with springs in his legs and claws in his gloves” and blah blah blah. It’s especially bad with this freak, he’s got some fetish for sauces or some fuckery of that nature. He had been traveling around different guilds in less populated areas. He says it’s to provide help to places that don’t get as much, but Tekkha wondered if maybe he was trying to seek glory without the big shots to steal his thunder.

Space Buddha Space Buddha
Name: Condiment King

Species: Human

Personality: A rather eccentric fellow, Condiment King's jester-like attitude is only tempered by his ambition to rise through the ranks of the guild. He has so far only been hindered by his ridiculous theme. He often makes condiment puns.

Religion: The Guild of Heroes could be considered a religion, similar to some fraternal organizations like freemasonry. It is the only such group Condiment King is known to commit to.

Background: A low level member of the guild of heroes, Condiment King has long aspired to do more. He specializes in the use of non-lethal chemical irritants, which make him ideal for a position as a regional vigilante. He regularly works heroween parties in his off time. His secret identity is that of Ronald Macdonald, who works a minimum wage job as a waiter. His two sidekicks are Salt and Pepper, hired guns of the hero's guild.

Skills: Condiment King is technically adept and a skilled alchemist (Or chemist, as they are being called these days), which allows him to manufacture his weapons, special sauces and tools himself. His arsenal includes a ketchup and mustard gun, which can fire actual condiments, as well as irritant and corrosive chemicals in combat.

Weaknesses: His greatest personal flaw is that ambition often leads him to take unecessary risks with his own life and those of his allies, and his physical limitations include the fact that he can only carry so many condiments on him at any given time, and is pretty much helpless if he runs out.
Sanity: 2, not too crazy, not too sane
Morality: 4, He's a frickin' superhero
Health: 1, due to being a squishy human
Luck: 3, He managed to become a superhero themed around ketchup, after all.

Fear Level: Brave, he's a superhero after all.

- Salt, one of his mercenaries. Rather quiet, skilled in unarmed combat, but wields a weapon designed by condiment king that fires a spray of salt at high velocity, able to temporarily blind a target. He is notable for his albinism, a very rare condition on Ocaeril. Prior to joining the guild, he was a police officer.

- Pepper, the other mercenary, trained in unarmed combat like Salt, and uses a similar weapon that fires a burst of pepper spray. He is more talkative than Salt, and sometimes builds on CK's puns. Prior to joining the guild, he served in the Spartacyn military.

“Alright, now for the rest of you. The commune has sent requests to the Guild, but they are vague as all hells. Looks like they are from couple different senders, too. I’m putting you down as a single party, but again, it’s just paperwork, and I don’t give a shit if you work together or not. Everyone here that isn’t one of those two tourists? I expect to hear some results on just *something* productive to put in my log when the caravan picks you up again next week.”

Tekkha had put in feelers for her buddy in the Spartacys capital guild to send her some recruits to meet her quota, and she still ended up getting more than she expected, plus an extra.

The ninja girl is shifty looking, but definitely has spunk. She’d arrived alone and earlier than the others and had been playing her in cards all week and been pleasantly surprised to find an opponent that not only keeps up with the game but cheats and throws hands when tensions flare, like a true adventurer should.

KolastoRPN KolastoRPN
Name: Erra

Species: Human
Personality: Despite her mysterious nature, Erra is surprisingly friendly if met in person, being a laid-back competitor; she even gives genuine advice and encouragement to her opponents, even in the middle of a battle. However, this sporting demeanor crumbles if it seems that they’re genuinely threatening her, causing her to fly into a rage and take extreme measures to regain the advantage. She also takes a bit too much satisfaction over defeating her foes…

Religion: Helsan Cult

Background: A mysterious girl who with her own goals. And by that, she refuses to tell anyone her goals when they ask. Apparently she was raised in an orphanage for most of her life, then left one day after slapping the matron for no reason. (She actually says it for no reason.) In reality, she was raised in the Helsan Cult for most of her life, trained in the usage of Dark Chakra as one of their Yaminin (Dark Ninja), before she slapped her master and a Helsan priest for no reason before leaving to wander around the world.

Skills: Dark Chakra Knowledge, Stealth Training, Clever.

Weaknesses: Arrogant, Distrusting, Kind Of A Horrible Person.

Sanity: 4
Morality: 1
Health: 3
Luck: 2

Fear Level: Normal.

Comparing her to the other girl was like night and day. This one had been jumpy all day. The Guild-Mistress had honestly considered tying a bell around the girl, if she didn’t think Jantet would have a heart attack the moment it rang out. But fear often goes with alertness, and the way the girl moves softly, eyes examining everything, Tekkha knew rogue material when she saw it.

Stikes Stikes
Name: Jantet Algon

Species: Human

Personality: Skittish, prone to anxiety, suspicion, and even paranoia.

Religion: Follower of Xorju.

Background: A Twixt explorer who funds her expeditions with money from burglary and mostly-legal transportation jobs, and the occasional odd job. Though she finds the limbo realm fascinating, it hasn't had the best effect on her sanity.

Skills:
Kitchen Sink: Jantet pulls a random object that's small enough to easily hold from the Twixt. This can be very nearly anything, from broken bottle to live grenade, even the occasional magic item.
Path Way: Followers of Xorju can often open stable pathways through the Twixt linking two locations. A portal to a nearby location large enough for only her takes a split second to open, with larger and longer-distance ones requiring more time and concentration.
Dodgy: She's really good at avoiding getting hit, to an honestly absurd degree.
Miscellanea: Good at general survivalism stuff, particularly knots and ropework. Very good sense of direction.


Weaknesses:
Poor fighter: She's good at getting places and running away, but it's not likely to win a stand-up fight.
Paranoid: Jantet is very jumpy and anxious at best, and prone to becoming irrationally suspicious of both others around her and the environment itself. This can often lead to poor decisions.

Sanity: 1
Morality: 2
Health: 3
Luck: 4

Fear Level: Normal.

Next was the old timer. His kind didn’t take to heroism and adventuring as much, but she could recognize the wanderlust of a wounded old soldier anywhere. That angel was looking for his next battle, to prove himself or die trying.

Selee-01 Selee-01
Name: !Xeck-Yimor!, or just Zeke

Species: Zeruellium

Personality: A war veteran, Zeke never really came home from the war. He often accidentially blows up things, and loves destruction and explosions.

Religion: Yimorian cultist, Oenian.

Background: A survivor of the attack on the Jade, Zeke wandered the world in disguise for centuries. Recently, he decided to join a hero group to regain his glory days.

Skills: A.T. Field: Zeke has an A.T. Field like any other Angel. It allows him to be protected from nearly any harm.
Eye Beams/Cruciform Blasts: Zeke can generate energy beams and explosions.
Razor Limbs: Zeke has many razorlike limbs capable of slicing through virtually anything.
Flight: Zeke can levitate.

Weaknesses: Slow: Zeke has low physical speed at best.
Cuckoolander: Zeke is easily distracted and drawn off.
Fanatic: Eager to proselytize, even when he should really not.

Sanity: 2
Morality: 1
Health: 4
Luck: 3

Fear Level: Brave

He may not be conventional, but he definitely fit the bill more than the last member of her team.

This one hadn’t been sent by the other guilds, she recruited him herself when the drunk had collapsed in her lodge thinking it was an inn. Still, others would have dismissed the man, but she had an eye for these things, and proved it when she threw a knife at him at breakfast and it missed. She. Never. Misses. That little cart of his is also so bursting with magic, she’s surprised the normal folk aren’t sensing it at this point. That lad has an arsenal and the luck to probably take on a small army, yet here he is pissing his potential away. Other guild leaders might have taken offense at that, but honestly she was more angry he had the manners of the trash he smelled like. She doesn’t actually expect him to contribute much, it’s just to get him out of her hair.

Celestial Speck Celestial Speck
Name: Seo-jun.

Species: Immortal human.

Personality: Stoic and uncaring, it's hard to make so Seo takes most situations seriously. If you were to place him in a life or death situation, Seo is the sort of guy who would choose death rather than waste his time fighting an enemy when he can just pretend he's dead and wait for them to live. Rude and blunt, he can be seen as a classic alcoholic ass of a homeless person, but can show genuine heart to people at times, and protect others he feels are innocent enough. Despite this, he doesn't seem to take his own abilities seriously.

Religion: Blessed by Dementia, but doesn't follow any god.

Background: A homeless man who could have been someone great in life, Seo was stripped away from this future by a fate many others in the world suffer. Homelessness. A lack of power. A lack of a voice. A lack of family. And the loss of this same family. Seo was the sort of man who lived but didn't care if he died, but upon beating Dementia on a game of Mahjong and asking for simply a pair of shoes, Dementia was impressed by the man, and feeling the wish to change and save this man's heart, gifted him with immortality with the quest to gather magical artifacts of all kinds in place of lifting his curse and allowing him to die, hoping one day the man would find peace during his journeys.
Skills: Immortality: Seo cannot be killed by any means, the concept of 'chaos' messing with attacks who hit him and changing their meaning and the luck behind them to make so he can survive nearly anything, even if his head is cut or his body lobbed apart. Despite this, he doesn’t possess super regeneration, and despite coming back to life when he’s ‘killed’, broken bones and non-lethal wounds still take natural time to heal.
Photographic Memory: Due to being immortal, Seo is capable of remembering anything that he’s come across down to near perfect detail. It would be useful if he didn’t drink all the time and got drunk, though.
Weapon Mastery: Seo is capable of using most magical weapons with relative ease, however, he never uses them to their full potential, his fighting style consisting of essentially using one weapon for a few seconds, before changing them. Making so the really powerful shit is thrown aside like it’s a broken bottle of beer.
Magical Trolley: A magical trolley used to store all of Seo’s items. Dementia gave him a way to keep track of his treasures. It can have the appearance of nearly anything, though. But it’s mostly a really rusty and shitty trolley.

Weaknesses: Alcoholic. Enough said.
Doesn’t seem to be pumped to fight anything, and tends to sit out a lot from fights and just drink, occasionally throwing his bottle at the baddie if someone asks, despite his strength.
He doesn’t seem to care if he lives or dies, but would probably put himself in harm's way if it meant protecting someone innocent.
Kinda of an ass to most people he meets, and can give the impression he’s some useless hobo.
BUUUURP.


Sanity: 3
Morality: 1
Health: 2
Luck: 4-5 (Speck knows there isn’t a 5 number, but it’s for the joke, oi.)

Fear Level: Brave in the sense he doesn’t fuckin’ care.

“That does it, fresh meat! Converse among yourselves if you want, I don’t care. Caravan arrives in ten minutes.”


  • Tekkha Gravemaker: Enigmatic, irritable, human (?) Guild-Mistress of the Owlhoof Adventurer’s/Hero’s Guild.
  • Gorta: Creepy Gnome undertaker/caravan driver. Delivered the party to the commune, scheduled to pick them up the day after Heroween.
  • Sunshine Bliss: Earth Pony leader of Kelpie Springs.
  • Blood Letter: Unicorn, doctor of Kelpie Spings. Does not seem to believe laughter is the best medicine.
  • Part Parcel: Pegasus, inhabitant of Kelpie Springs. Nervous around Sunshine, has a unicorn son.
  • Ball Buster: Pegasus. Inhabitant of Kelpie Springs. Busts balls.
 
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Churl Churl





Sitting at a table not too far away from the old hag Seo-jun had the displeasure of meeting in this little shit town, the immortal homeless man was, characteristically, drinking his life away with the same old and dirty bottle of cheap booze. The smell coming from the man could perhaps be comparable to a certain god that didn't exist in this universe before he was forced to take a bath in the 'inn' he found himself on. While he wasn't still presentable like the other members of the team he was forced to partake in, what with his dirty clothes and casual wear, he at least didn't look like a completely disgusting mess, but he did, in fact, look absolutely useless, if not deadbeat.

Truth be told? The immortal isn't quite sure what he's meant to do or what he has to do. Something about those pony freaks that 'guy' created. The thought of dealing with anything related to the dude who put him in this mess and didn't allow his liver to liquidity caused Seo-jun to let out a snort that was more akin to a penguin choking and then almost vomiting before he continued to drink. From what he could see, he wouldn't need to do much but lift a finger, what with the size of the group. They must be capable of taking care of themselves, right?

...Yeah, naaah. He already doesn't like the jib of the Zeruelim, and that's because of obvious reasons- not the genocide their race contributed to, no, but because one of these assholes stole his beer once! The others also seemed like jokes, with a literal suit-wearing freak thinking he's some sort of newspaper comic hero. Simply speaking, as a man who walks on luck despite constantly trying to fall off of it, he could tell one thing:

"This is gonna be such bullshit."

Chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug
 
Churl Churl

The ninja girl is shifty looking, but definitely has spunk. She’d arrived alone and earlier than the others and had been playing her in cards all week and been pleasantly surprised to find an opponent that not only keeps up with the game but cheats and throws hands when tensions flare, like a true adventurer should.

Meanwhile, said ninja girl was fiddling around with a deck of cards, looking over the other adventurers. She was very clearly thinking about something, though no one but her knew exactly what.

I wonder which of these idiots will screw up first? The Yaminin thought to herself. Probably the condiment guy, he just looks so...stupid.

Let it be simply said that Erra was arrogant. She didn't get along with others easily. And that she was honestly kind of a terrible person.

Cowards, imbeciles, weirdos....guess I'm the only talent here. Even though that old hobo with the cart is setting off my instincts...

And with that prideful thought, Erra went back to messing around with the deck of cards, ignoring the others while waiting for the Caravan.
 

Condiment King, and his associates, Salt and Pepper


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Interactions: Churl Churl Puppernickel Puppernickel

Condiment King stands at attention as he is addressed, delivering a salute.

"You can count on us, if anyone gets in our way, we'll barbecue 'em, right?"

Salt nods, while Pepper says, "Sure boss, we'll be ready if you need a pair of ranch hands"

The Condiment Krew stepped up to wait for the carriage beside Durlok. Internally, Condiment King's thoughts would prove Tekkha entirely right. He had ventured to this island, and this backwater, old-fashioned guild hoping for a quest of some sort, something that would lead him to stand out among his fellow superheroes. He would, however, say nothing further unless spoken to first, simply waiting for the carriage to arrive.

 
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Churl Churl

Zeke just floated in place, considering the varied assortment of fellow soldiers. They were mostly good, it seemed, and he expected to work well with them.

/HELLO ALL/
/IT IS AN HONOR TO SERVE WITH YOU/
 
Jantet jumps at the Zerulium's loud voice, before hunching her shoulders and glowering at him.

She walks over to near CK to wait, though stands a considerable distance away and side-eyes the spicy heroes.

She mutters under her breath, "Bunch of damn weirdos..."
 

  • Condiment King, and his associates, Salt and Pepper



    Interactions: Churl Churl Gravitys Momentum Gravitys Momentum

    Condiment King stands at attention as he is addressed, delivering a salute.

    "You can count on us, if anyone gets in our way, we'll barbecue 'em, right?"

    Salt nods, while Pepper says, "Sure boss, we'll be ready if you need a pair of ranch hands"

    The Condiment Krew stepped up to wait for the carriage beside bob. Internally, Condiment King's thoughts would prove Tekkha entirely right. He had ventured to this island, and this backwater, old-fashioned guild hoping for a quest of some sort, something that would lead him to stand out among his fellow superheroes. He would, however, say nothing further unless spoken to first, simply waiting for the carriage to arrive.

    Tekkha pounded a rolling pin against her palm, clearly resisting the urge to bash the brains of all three in.
 
Bob twirls his fluffy red mustache and slides his palm over his tufted puffy hair, eyeing the other folks as he grumbles and pulls in his scrolls closer to himself. At least he got a guard, he had waited a good while just to get into this pony commune. The damn carnivores, with this expedition he'll be able to prove the Sovereignty right and be established as one of the best scholars of the West.
 
"Go fuck yourselves."
Seo-jun replied to no one in particular, (although it was a bit more directed to the Zeruelim) as he kept drinking from his booze.
 
She looks around for her next target. There he is, the jackass in the suit. She can small the bullshit off this freak from a mile away. This weirdo rolled into town with the last of the adventurers and also wants a ride into the commune to check out the ponies for himself. He gave an explanation, but most of the words he said went in one ear and out the other. Seems like a god-freak of some kind, though.

“Alright, smiles! Same deal as the hobbit. You’ll get escorted down there, what you do is your business. Like the other one you’ll be staying with this group at that commune’s inn or whatever.”
Durlok nodded as he was addressed, not phased in the slightest by Tekkha's blunt attitude. His ever present half smirk was, as ever, present, alongside a happy expression that made him seem approachable and friendly. Of course, it was all a ruse designed to distract someone, but the customers didnt need to know that in order to buy something, now did they?

"Thank you kindly boss, most appreciated of you to remember me so fondly." He told Tekkha with a chuckle, nodding in her direction and giving her a slight bow. Oh, he knew she'd seen right through him as soon as they met, but, well, he could definitely still respect her for it. And appearances were appearances.

As Tekkha continued to asign people their quote on quote 'job' in the group, he glanced over at Condiment King, eyeing his so called 'bodyguard' with interest. The man seemed qualified enough, and he had his two thugs with him, so Durlok supposed that perhaps he'd actually be worth working with. Frankly, most of group seemed to be... lacking, in Durlok's professional opinion. At least they would all make good meatshields in the event something bad happened.

After taking his time to observe his companions, Durlok hummed in semi-approval, nodding as he reached into his jacket and pulled out a pouch. From this he grabbed a pair of cigars, one of which he put in his mouth while he offered the other to Condiment King. "Cigar, my dear fellow?" He asked with a friendly smile, his entire demeanor revealing nothing but a friendly, helpful attitude to his current partner.
 

Condiment King, and his associates, Salt and Pepper



Interactions: Puppernickel Puppernickel

Condiment King raised an eyebrow. He didn't smoke, found the things nasty.

"No thank you, those things just don't quite cut the Mustard for me."

Salt, however, would silently take one of the cigars, nodding in Durlok's direction. Condiment King seemed somewhat annoyed by the smell, but shrugged and put it out of his mind.​
 

Condiment King, and his associates, Salt and Pepper



Interactions: Puppernickel Puppernickel

Condiment King raised an eyebrow. He didn't smoke, found the things nasty.

"No thank you, those things just don't quite cut the Mustard for me."

Salt, however, would silently take one of the cigars, nodding in Durlok's direction. Condiment King seemed somewhat annoyed by the smell, but shrugged and put it out of his mind.​
Durlok nodded at Condiment King's polite refusal, his brow furrowing slightly at the pun. "Do you... always do that?" He asked slowly, handing the cigar over to Salt instead.

Funny enough, unlike normal cigars, these ones smelled like candy canes and licorice, while still feeling like smoking a normal cigar to those who'd done it before. It had been somewhat expensive and cost quite a bit of his time, but Durlok had managed to find an interesting pony in Camelot who sold 'Kid Friendly Cigars'. He had to admit, the idea was rather nice. And it didnt have any of the nasty side effects normal smoking had either....
 
Update 1- Start of Day 0
Day 0, 6 days until Heroween

The caravan pulls up down the street and in front of the guild. It is pulled by a larger wagon, and connected to several smaller cars via a series of metal pulleys behind it, and has tough-looking spiked wheels for off-road travel. It doesn’t seem to be led by any beast or Pokemon, instead a shadowy fae equine smiles its too-sharp teeth at you but is otherwise silent, not even the sound of breathing emanating from it. Needless to say, such an ensemble would be likely inefficient on the mainland, but here Gorta’s Caravan is known as the best way to traverse Ireway, if you have the money for it. That doesn’t change the fact that every coach being a hearse is pretty weird.

A gnome man pokes his head out of the leading carriage, and he is the embodiment of what ‘crooked’ would look like as a person. For such a short person (by human standards, anyhow) he seems to have far too long limbs and the way they crack in sudden movements gives an uncomfortable feeling. He graciously accepts the fee payed for by Tekkha for your journey, and points you each in a carriage. Condiment King, his henchmen, and Durlok share one carriage, Honey, Bob, Jantet and ‘Zeke’ share the second, while Erra and Seo are in the third. Those in the first two carriages might notice a few things hinting at Gorta’s other occupation as the Isle’s travelling Undertaker. There is a chemical smell in each carriage, an attempt to cover up the lingering hints of death. There is also a shelf above each pair of seats holding a decorative coffin, and old stains on the wood around them. For the two in the last coach, however, it’s pretty hard to ignore the open casket, a young man’s empty eyes staring accusingly at them the whole way.

“Heh heh, sorry folks, had another passenger.”

Gorta drives you through the countryside for almost three uncomfortable hours, but it still feels like you’ve made good time when your ride crawls to a halt. You are now two miles from the commune, and you can see it in the distance. Gorta cackles that ‘you’re on your own, now’, and he’ll be back to pick you up at this spot in exactly one week. Or what’s left of you, that is. It’d be a lot more ominous if Gorta hadn’t been saying that sort of thing the entire ride over about every landmark he pointed out. It’s pretty clear he’s just like this.

And with that, Gorta and his caravan burst away from you all back towards Owlhoof, and now you are in the domain of the unknown. There is no road leading to the commune, but it lays invitingly ahead, and already you can faintly see a few Pegasi Ponies flitting about overhead in the distance.
 
"Welp. You guys wanna do bets on who dies first? Bets on the business loser over there."

One thing many here could have noticed about the actual fucking hobo accompanying them aside from the fact he was, well, a hobo, was the fact he went from seemingly pushing a trolley in his hands, which had a mysterious blanket over it, hiding the contents inside, to holding a sack that would make one known as Santa Claus proud while in the carriage, back to holding the same, shitty and rusty trolley again with magical properties on it. Leaning over on it, the man pulled from inside of it another cheap bottle of booze, uncorking it and drinking its contents once more. It's his sixteenth bottle in the last hour. And in the other two...It's been what, forty? Thirty? It's a wonder how this man isn't blackout drunk.

Or, maybe he was. This was just his way of showing it. Still, Seo-jun gained the totally useful and not disgusting ability of his breath being so toxic and filled with alcohol someone can pass out just by inhaling a bit of it. Or just throwing up.

...Speaking of throwing up, the carriage owner probably had a nice surprise once he looked into the third one. Erra unfortunely had to watch such an event too. Honestly, his appearance really...Betrayed his personality. He looked young. Healthy, almost like some sort of shitty bishounen dude you'd see in a magazine, yet here he is, as a complete fuckin' mess. Also, why is he here again? Oh right, pony freaks. Eugh. Fuck ponies. Not literally, but fuck 'em.

Regardless, like a tired single mom in a convenience store at exactly midnight, Seo-jun pushed forwards.
 
"Welp. You guys wanna do bets on who dies first? Bets on the business loser over there."

One thing many here could have noticed about the actual fucking hobo accompanying them aside from the fact he was, well, a hobo, was the fact he went from seemingly pushing a trolley in his hands, which had a mysterious blanket over it, hiding the contents inside, to holding a sack that would make one known as Santa Claus proud while in the carriage, back to holding the same, shitty and rusty trolley again with magical properties on it. Leaning over on it, the man pulled from inside of it another cheap bottle of booze, uncorking it and drinking its contents once more. It's his sixteenth bottle in the last hour. And in the other two...It's been what, forty? Thirty? It's a wonder how this man isn't blackout drunk.

Or, maybe he was. This was just his way of showing it. Still, Seo-jun gained the totally useful and not disgusting ability of his breath being so toxic and filled with alcohol someone can pass out just by inhaling a bit of it. Or just throwing up.

...Speaking of throwing up, the carriage owner probably had a nice surprise once he looked into the third one. Erra unfortunely had to watch such an event too. Honestly, his appearance really...Betrayed his personality. He looked young. Healthy, almost like some sort of shitty bishounen dude you'd see in a magazine, yet here he is, as a complete fuckin' mess. Also, why is he here again? Oh right, pony freaks. Eugh. Fuck ponies. Not literally, but fuck 'em.

Regardless, like a tired single mom in a convenience store at exactly midnight, Seo-jun pushed forwards.

Erra looked at the hobo man for a couple seconds...before shrugging.

"My money's on the spandex guy getting in over his head and dying painfully." She said, pulling some money out.
 
Update 2- Welcome to Kelpie Springs
Update

As the group nears the commune, you are able to get a better idea of its scale. The commune is nowhere near the size of Owlhoof, in fact the town appears to mostly consist of a single street with its shops and houses grouped together and lining each side totaling 20 buildings in all, all of a single unitarian make. At the end of the street a single building stands alone. Outside the ‘street’, there is what appears to be a school house about a quarter mile from the main town, a small winding path trailing to it. Based on the commune’s size, you really can’t imagine that the population could be that much higher than a hundred at most.
340


The commune seems to be alerted to your presence from the Pegasi ponies, and a small crowd awaits your arrival. What is a little surprising is that there are more than ponies in the crowd, you see several humans as well, along with a lone goblin. The ponies all share the same polite smile, but Jantet and Seo manage to luckily catch a glimpse of another pony, a scraggly-looking mare with a dark blue color, peeking out at your group nervously and darting behind the buildings before anyone else can get a good look at her.

The crowd parts for a red stallion with a combover. His smile is perhaps the widest of all of them, and his eyes roam over each of you without blinking or changing expression. For those of you who had not before seen one of the pony-folk, you see that many of them seem to have a mark of some kind, in the case of the stallion his is a smiling sun.

“Welcome, travelers! Oh, it is so good to have guests. My name is Sunshine Bliss, and this,”
He waves a hoof around. “Is Kelpie Springs.”
 
Erra Post

Update

As the group nears the commune, you are able to get a better idea of its scale. The commune is nowhere near the size of Owlhoof, in fact the town appears to mostly consist of a single street with its shops and houses grouped together and lining each side totaling 20 buildings in all, all of a single unitarian make. At the end of the street a single building stands alone. Outside the ‘street’, there is what appears to be a school house about a quarter mile from the main town, a small winding path trailing to it. Based on the commune’s size, you really can’t imagine that the population could be that much higher than a hundred at most.
340


The commune seems to be alerted to your presence from the Pegasi ponies, and a small crowd awaits your arrival. What is a little surprising is that there are more than ponies in the crowd, you see several humans as well, along with a lone goblin. The ponies all share the same polite smile, but Jantet and Seo manage to luckily catch a glimpse of another pony, a scraggly-looking mare with a dark blue color, peeking out at your group nervously and darting behind the buildings before anyone else can get a good look at her.

The crowd parts for a red stallion with a combover. His smile is perhaps the widest of all of them, and his eyes roam over each of you without blinking or changing expression. For those of you who had not before seen one of the pony-folk, you see that many of them seem to have a mark of some kind, in the case of the stallion his is a smiling sun.

“Welcome, travelers! Oh, it is so good to have guests. My name is Sunshine Bliss, and this,”
He waves a hoof around. “Is Kelpie Springs.”

Erra didn't even give the pony the time of day. She had been trained to read expressions, but even someone that wasn't could tell that something was wrong with that smile. Everyone here was...too happy.

Way too happy. She didn't like it.

Pulling her cloak up near her face, she turned away from Sunshine Bliss, looking around for anything else that was off.
 
Update

As the group nears the commune, you are able to get a better idea of its scale. The commune is nowhere near the size of Owlhoof, in fact the town appears to mostly consist of a single street with its shops and houses grouped together and lining each side totaling 20 buildings in all, all of a single unitarian make. At the end of the street a single building stands alone. Outside the ‘street’, there is what appears to be a school house about a quarter mile from the main town, a small winding path trailing to it. Based on the commune’s size, you really can’t imagine that the population could be that much higher than a hundred at most.
340


The commune seems to be alerted to your presence from the Pegasi ponies, and a small crowd awaits your arrival. What is a little surprising is that there are more than ponies in the crowd, you see several humans as well, along with a lone goblin. The ponies all share the same polite smile, but Jantet and Seo manage to luckily catch a glimpse of another pony, a scraggly-looking mare with a dark blue color, peeking out at your group nervously and darting behind the buildings before anyone else can get a good look at her.

The crowd parts for a red stallion with a combover. His smile is perhaps the widest of all of them, and his eyes roam over each of you without blinking or changing expression. For those of you who had not before seen one of the pony-folk, you see that many of them seem to have a mark of some kind, in the case of the stallion his is a smiling sun.

“Welcome, travelers! Oh, it is so good to have guests. My name is Sunshine Bliss, and this,”
He waves a hoof around. “Is Kelpie Springs.”
Durlok was still smoking his cigar as they traveled, looking out the window and observing the land passing by. He actually payed attention to Gorta's trivia lesson about the local landscape, not really paying his fellows any mind, even when Seo proclaimed a bet that 'the business loser' would die first. At that point he hummed, pulling his cigar out of his mouth and puffing out a pinkish cloud of smoke, but that was his only reaction.

Upon noticing the ponies gathered before them, Durlok's smile lessened for a moment, then increased further then it had been before. Walking forward, he approached Sunshine Bliss and gave a flourishing bow, grinning just as broadly as Sunshine Bliss as he straightened up.

"Greetings Sir Sunshine! My name is Durlok Farbrook, and I and my companions are here to see the sights of your glorious little abode here. Ponies are just such interesting folk to meet after all, and it would be such a shame if we didn't answer the call of curiosity! Ah, that is, if you dont mind a few interlopers gawking at the wonders of Ponykind."
 

While Durlok is licking Sunshine's hooves, Seo-jun is currently throwing up in a trash can, currently finding the activity more interesting than looking at any of the ponies here, before he comes back to the group, cleaning his mouth with his sleeve, giving the pony a little bit of a look of nausea.

Seo tries to make a series of educated guesses that vary from 'actually all daemon city or some shit' to more sensical ideas as to what's Sunshine whatever deal is. He's mostly using his drunk brain and his luck to think of random shit with no thought or reason, until he find something that he believes would make some amount of sense in this situation, and with the little information he has.
 
Durlok was still smoking his cigar as they traveled, looking out the window and observing the land passing by. He actually payed attention to Gorta's trivia lesson about the local landscape, not really paying his fellows any mind, even when Seo proclaimed a bet that 'the business loser' would die first. At that point he hummed, pulling his cigar out of his mouth and puffing out a pinkish cloud of smoke, but that was his only reaction.

Upon noticing the ponies gathered before them, Durlok's smile lessened for a moment, then increased further then it had been before. Walking forward, he approached Sunshine Bliss and gave a flourishing bow, grinning just as broadly as Sunshine Bliss as he straightened up.

"Greetings Sir Sunshine! My name is Durlok Farbrook, and I and my companions are here to see the sights of your glorious little abode here. Ponies are just such interesting folk to meet after all, and it would be such a shame if we didn't answer the call of curiosity! Ah, that is, if you dont mind a few interlopers gawking at the wonders of Ponykind."
If possible, Sunshine’s grin grew even wider at that. “Not at all, not at all! Oh, what fun, marvelous, just marvelous! It’s always good to meet new friends. And might I add I am pleasantly pleased as punch so many of you arrived, I certainly wasn’t expecting it. Truth be told, I was a little worried it had gotten lost in the mail, but to think my little message got to you all and they sent ten adventurers?! Why, this is a Heroween miracle if I’ve ever heard of one, and we’ve still a week to go! Oh, and the scholar from the... what was it? Scriptorium? Well, Mr. Jefferson we are pleased to answer your questions as well, now which of you is- oh dear! Here I go again, rambling on and I haven’t even asked who is who. Beg your pardons, folks, but would you care for introductions and I can give you the ol’ tour?”



While Durlok is licking Sunshine's hooves, Seo-jun is currently throwing up in a trash can, currently finding the activity more interesting than looking at any of the ponies here, before he comes back to the group, cleaning his mouth with his sleeve, giving the pony a little bit of a look of nausea.

Seo tries to make a series of educated guesses that vary from 'actually all daemon city or some shit' to more sensical ideas as to what's Sunshine whatever deal is. He's mostly using his drunk brain and his luck to think of random shit with no thought or reason, until he find something that he believes would make some amount of sense in this situation, and with the little information he has.
[Luck Roll=4]

Seo wracks his addled brain for possible answers, but right now with the limited information he has none of his guesses really have any weight to them. Nearest he can figure is that it is extremely odd these ponies are all together in this number without one of their cafes. He also hasn’t seen this many of the three types of ponies together. There are the ones like Sunshine that seem the default, but then there are also the knockoff unicorns and pegasi. From what he understands, the cafes are some kinda mix between a business and a religious undertaking serving that bastard, so the fact there are no signs of his touch anywhere is really out of place. Beyond that, though, he can’t make out any theories that don’t sound batshit. For all he knows, these are all doppelgängers.
Erra Post



Erra didn't even give the pony the time of day. She had been trained to read expressions, but even someone that wasn't could tell that something was wrong with that smile. Everyone here was...too happy.

Way too happy. She didn't like it.

Pulling her cloak up near her face, she turned away from Sunshine Bliss, looking around for anything else that was off.
Erra is distracted by Seo’s grumbling, and in doing so manages to catch the eye of a brown Pegasus mare in the crowd with a much more reserved expression, her smile less begging to get punched. The Pegasus is clearly nervous to Erra’s eye, and shifting glances to Sunshine. Erra realizes the significance of what Sunshine is saying, he had sent only one of the requests to the guild, alongside the answer to the halfling’s interview request. Clearly, there were multiple senders for these requests, and the big boy in charge doesn’t seem to know about any of them.
 
Seo thinks for a moment. Doppelgangers sounded appealing due to the sheer fact it wasn't ponies, but knowing him and his luck, that likely wasn't the case. Best he could guess is that these were some sort of rogue ponies or some shit. Which, didn't sound too appealing to him. Their smiles, their disposition, their way of speaking- Ponies were always friendly and charismatic, maybe to an extreme. Maybe it was due to their strange magical abilities that were probably from the warp, maybe it was just that bastard adding his own personality into them but watering it down, thank Tiamat's tits.

What he can tell? These probably weren't allied to Dementia's little gay planet or the big man himself. Could still be doppelgangers, but they were most likely rogue. Or Dementia just couldn't be bothered to build a cafe around this area. Gah, now that's three batshit theories, fuck...Wait, no, that's two, right? He could probably just pray and ask the damn dude but fuck no he knows that's what he wants him to do.

"...Piece of shit," Seo complains, unaware that the way he said that made it sound like he was introducing himself as that name. Although, that probably was more accurate than his normal name.
 

Condiment King, and his associates, Salt and Pepper



Interactions: Puppernickel Puppernickel | Churl Churl

"In Heinz-sight that wasn't my best, I'll admit."

Apparently, a brand of ketchup named Heinz happens to exist on Ocaeril. After arriving at the town, the Condiment Krew would follow Durlok silently, observing the strange pastel-colored horses and their associates. He listened curiously as Sunshine spoke. His mannerisms were strange to be sure, but Condiment King couldn't particularly judge, given his OCD-induced compulsion to intersperse his speech with condiment puns. Before Durlok could do so, Condiment King would respond to Sunshine's question.

"I would relish the opportunity to take a tour of your village good sir!"

Pepper chuckled at that one. Salt just stood there, ominously staring at the cheerful pony.
 
Erra Post

Erra is distracted by Seo’s grumbling, and in doing so manages to catch the eye of a brown Pegasus mare in the crowd with a much more reserved expression, her smile less begging to get punched. The Pegasus is clearly nervous to Erra’s eye, and shifting glances to Sunshine. Erra realizes the significance of what Sunshine is saying, he had sent only one of the requests to the guild, alongside the answer to the halfling’s interview request. Clearly, there were multiple senders for these requests, and the big boy in charge doesn’t seem to know about any of them.

Erra's eyes narrowed at the pegasus.

So, we've got a bit of internal strife going here...interesting.

A smirk crossed Erra's covered face.

I can use this.

With that, Erra tried to gesture subtly to the others.
 

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