Story The true definition.

[Heart]

Fireworks.


Webster's new world dictionary's definition: Firecrackers, rockets, etc., for noisy effects and display.


My definition:


Dancing watercolors,


Brightness in the dark,


Celebration,


Exploding works of art,


Brilliant displays in the sky,


Twinkling lights that seem to fly,


Singing shooting stars,


A close wonder, yet so far,


These fireflies,


Right before my own eyes.


~

 

[Hatchet]

You're close to have consistent internal rhythm but it breaks down before it bears out. There's attempts at rhyming, but again, it's inconsistent. At least the joy intended in it was clearly conveyed.

 

[Heart]

It's useless to continue, isnt it?

 

[Heartsteal]

Little Heart, please stop being so negative about yourself. Hatchet is suggesting that you attempt to improve your rhyming and rhythm overall, as well as pointing out that you expressed your point quite well.


Her first two words are, "You're close". Don't forget that she's been writing for a long time, so all that she's trying to do, is show you how to improve.