Advice/Help The problem with paragraph!

[Avdotya Luna]

Lately I have been troubles to write the paragrah uncorretly. Everytime when I see my text or writings, I noticed that the text is too confusing and hard to read which makes me really concered to be honest. For an example I do not have any idea when to write enviroment, emotions, facial emotions, thoughts, character words in the order so that it could be more easier to readers to read without thinking what the IC chatacter is doing at that moment.
So in what order should I start write at first? :/

 

[thoughtless]

There isn't truly an order that will 100% work for every situation, and I mean that there isn't one way to do things. A lot of roleplaying and writing in general is reading over your work to see if there's even one thing that you could change to make it better. So my advice would be that before posting a reply, go do something else for a couple of hours and then come back to the post so that you can look at it with fresh eyes and maybe notice mistakes or breaks in the flow of your writing.

Really, the issue could be that there are too many complex sentences or that your sentences aren't complex enough. Varied sentence structure is what makes writing interesting and flow well, so you should also make sure your sentences are varied enough.

These aren't set in stone rules though. You can also experiment and purposely make a run on sentence or make one sentence noticeably shorter than the other in order to create an effect. Heck, you could even purposely stop yourself in the middle of sentence to signal that there was a change in the character's thought process. I could give some examples of all these things if you really need them.

In conclusion, how you go about writing ultimately comes down to what effect you want to have on the reader and how you want to go about telling the story in your post. There really isn't one forumula that will always give consistent results, so just try and find out what works best for you.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Below is an example of how to expand details around a simple scenario.

Post 1 - His leg was caught in a trap.

That's a very short post that gives just a basic scenario for your partner to respond to. But it does at least give something to respond to, as your partner can have their character try to get your character out of the trap, or maybe act like they trapped your character themselves.

Post 2 - The wind rustled through the trees barely hiding the sound of pained whimpers coming from the man as the rusty steel trap slammed over his leg. He struggled to remain still and not jerk his leg as he panted in pain.

Now we're getting into setting. I described a little bit of the surroundings of where the man was, what was going on, and elaborated on his own actions a bit.

Post 3 - The wind rustled through the trees barely hiding the pained whimpers coming from the man as the rusty steel trap slammed over his legs. He fought the urge to jerk his leg and cry out as the pain grew worse. He knew he could not be discovered on the property though, the signs surrounding the place made it very clear that trespassers were not to be tolerated.

I've added in a reasoning for why my character is being quite and some suspense as we know he is in a place he is not supposed to be. This gives a conflict that my partner can respond to as they see fit.

Another thing to try is to read more, the more you read the more you'll understand how to put words into proper context and write in a manner that is easier to understand. Also ask your partners specific questions about things they don't understand in your posts.

 

[Bacon is fluffy]

Lately I have been troubles to write the paragrah uncorretly. Everytime when I see my text or writings, I noticed that the text is too confusing and hard to read which makes me really concered to be honest. For an example I do not have any idea when to write enviroment, emotions, facial emotions, thoughts, character words in the order so that it could be more easier to readers to read without thinking what the IC chatacter is doing at that moment.
So in what order should I start write at first? :/

Have you tried proofreading your posts?

Lately I have been troubles to write the paragrah uncorretly.

I understand that you're saying lately you've been having trouble writing correctly, but some of your problem probably stems from a lack of proofreading.

If you simply said, " I've been having trouble writing paragraphs lately", it would have been much better. Simply adding "having" and taking out the plural out of "trouble", greatly clarifies the statement.

If you are more careful with your rp posts, then they're bound to be easier for others to read.

 

[Hangover]

Probably the most common negative quirk of every writer is in the inability to focus on the important. Let's say you have an open setting, a park for an example, and you wish to introduce it to your fellow readers. Let me make a very weak introduction so that we can dissect it piece by piece:

"It was a cold night. The park was long abandoned, with an expection of few goons somewhere in the back. Trees and bushes turned red with autumn, leaving not a single green leaf. Eight clouds slowly made their way through the skies, one of which had a shape of a car, while two others looked more like chessnuts."...
- - - -

"It was a cold night." Things such as time and weather are bread and butter of every intro and it is mandatory to write as much information as you can. Other readers are not supposed to think about your post, they have enough work with their own. Don't keep them guessing.
A "cold" weather could mean anything. Is it snowing? Is it raining? Did it stop? When did it stop? Is it something unusual in these parts or at this time? Later in the post it is said that the season is autumn, but that doesn't hint much either. Same thing with "night". Is it midnight? Did the sun just set? Add some volume to it and don't worry about making it in several sentences.

"The Moon was at its peak. Dimmed by heavy clouds, yet still exeptionally bright. The chilling air was even more provocative. Like a stiletto in a dark alley, swift and without a warning, it made its way through several layers of fabric with ease, piercing the skin and flesh, and making bones shiver just by a thought of it. The autumn nights such as this one were crude, yet held an undeniable charm. It held a power over simple human minds, seducting restless and inspiring lifeless into their wilder forms."...

Notice how I hadn't used specific time, nor did I mention the temperature in degrees. People are not dumb. They understand that the Moon is only at its peak at midnight, they know what piercing cold feels like. As long as you can imagine it, it is considered a satisfactory information. To describe the magnitude of the cold in more of a detail, I compared it to being suddenly striken by a stiletto (a long slim bladed type of knife). I do not expect a reader to know how being victim of an assault feels like, but if they are not pure masochists, they know it is not something to be desired. Also by stating it came without warning I say that there was nothing to point out the fact that it was so cold, meaning there was no snow or rain. All in all, I managed to describe the temperature in a original and fresh way while still being informative for the reader. The semi-subjective ending about how nights such as these feel to me, is not a necesity, but again, it helps with keeping the text fresh. There is also a good chance that the reader might know exactly what you are talking about, how this giant full Moon also made them want to howl at it or how this music would make them passionately dance. It forms a connection between the writer and the reader, as if for the moment they completely understood each other, and that is a good thing.

"The park was long abandoned, with an expection of few goons somewhere in the back." First mayor flaw is that I contradict myself. The place is both abandoned and occupied at the same time. Instead, write something like "Honest folk have long abandoned the park, leaving only shaddy and doubtful figures to patrol the area." to distinguish those "goons".
Another flaw is that by how the sentence is written, it seems those "goons" are not going to be important, yet I specificaly categorize them into a group by calling them straight up "goons" (as if they were clearly bad blood). If they are not important, then form it in a similiar way as in the example above, as shaddy looking or doubtful and such, and don't be very specific about anything they do or where they are, or even better don't say anything alike unless 100% needed. On the other hand if they are important, be very clear where they are, how many of them are there, how they look, how they talk, how they behave, name specific characters if needed. This is a principle of Chekhov's gun.

"Trees and bushes turned red with autumn, leaving not a single green leaf." The second part of the sentence is unimportant and is better not to be used because it only says what was already said but from a different perspective. If the leaves already turned red it is only logical they won't be green anymore. If used in a correctly they can, again, help the text to be kept fresh, but be wary of placement and overuse.

"Eight clouds slowly made their way through the skies, one of which had a shape of a car, while two others looked more like chessnuts." Knowing that I wrote this makes me want to wipe all my memory of it with absinthe. And I hate absinthe. Before I commit it however, let tell you why would I ever want to do that.
The clouds are unimportant. Their numbers, their shapes, their odds and ends, none of it matters for the story. You know it, I know it, so why include it? I wrote this so that you could see how terrible it is when you lose your focus and can't no longer distinguish what is and what isn't important.
Also the fact that I take a subjective thing like a shape of a cloud and force it through as given is pretty damn bad.


About the order in which you write thoughtless said it. There is no set of rules, only personal preferences and even to those you won't always cling to, depending on the situation. Basic for everyone is that they think before acting and written characters should do the same. Try to get under the skin of your characters, use all of their senses and let them act upon the experience. Don't worry about that much, it will come out right eventually if you spend enough time thinking about it. You won't always feel like you wrote a pinnacle of your carrier, a masterpiece everyone envies, but this self criticism will guide you to seek answers in others' work and help you become a better writter.


Tips to make your writting better? I have to go with rae2nerdy . Find a good english writting author, get their book, read it all and repeat. There is no better way than this. You can always find more useful info and tips on the internet (I would recommend checking Overly Sarcastic Productions) but it doen't give you the same raw experience as books can. And finally try and post something. People here are nice and helpful so use it to your advantage.

Good luck and have a great time writting!