Birdsie
The God-Emperor of Mankind
***
He found it a lot harder to concentrate on drills that afternoon and when he left the building at five o'clock, he was still so worried that he walked straight into someone just outside the door.
"Sorry," he grunted, as the tiny old man stumbled and almost fell. It was a few seconds before Mr. Dursley realized that the man was wearing a violet cloak. He didn't seem at all upset at being almost knocked to the ground. On the contrary, his face split into a wide smile and he said in a squeaky voice that made passersby stare, "Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating, this happy, happy day!"
And the old man hugged Mr. Dursley around the middle and walked off.
Mr. Dursley stood rooted to the spot. He had been hugged by a complete stranger. He also thought he had been called a Muggle, whatever that was. He was rattled. He hurried to his car and set off for home, hoping he was imagining things, which he had never hoped before, because he didn't approve of imagination.
As he pulled into the driveway of number four, the first thing he saw -- and it didn't improve his mood -- was the tabby cat he'd spotted that morning. It was now sitting on his garden wall. He was sure it was the same one; it had the same markings around its eyes.
[...]
"Well, Ted," said the weatherman, "I don't know about that, but it's not only the owls that have been acting oddly today. Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire, and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me that instead of the rain I promised yesterday, they've had a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early -- it's not until next week, folks! But I can promise a wet night tonight."
Mr. Dursley sat frozen in his armchair. Shooting stars all over Britain? Owls flying by daylight? Mysterious people in cloaks all over the place? And a whisper, a whisper about the Potters...
Mrs. Dursley came into the living room carrying two cups of tea. It was no good. He'd have to say something to her. He cleared his throat nervously. "Er -- Petunia, dear -- you haven't heard from your sister lately, have you?"
As he had expected, Mrs. Dursley looked shocked and angry. After all, they normally pretended she didn't have a sister. "No," she said sharply. "Why?"
"Funny stuff on the news," Mr. Dursley mumbled. "Owls... shooting stars... and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today..."
"So?" snapped Mrs. Dursley.
"Well, I just thought... maybe... it was something to do with... you know... her crowd."
Mrs. Dursley sipped her tea through pursed lips. Mr. Dursley wondered whether he dared tell her he'd heard the name "Potter." He decided he didn't dare. Instead he said, as casually as he could, "Their son -- he'd be about Dudley's age now, wouldn't he?"
"I suppose so," said Mrs. Dursley stiffly.
"What's his name again? Howard, isn't it?"
"Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me."
"Oh, yes," said Mr. Dursley, his heart sinking horribly. "Yes, I quite agree."
***
The above is from J.K. Rowling's "Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone," pages 3 to 5, quoted word-for-word.
Make note of how clear and immaculate the writing is; if you take a moment to dissect how it is paragraphed, you will come to the conclusion that each paragraph is like a single "shot" or "take." Each one describes a string of action or thought, most often showing the actions of one character, but very seldom (and when it doesn't break the flow,) two or more.
This is done to make the outcome very easy to take in. The reader's eyes drift from line to line, taking in one line altogether as a "shot" and moving onto the next piece. This is most prominently shown in dialogue, where the conversation is curt and changes from one character to the other fluidly, adding in a note on how their line was said from time to time.
In fact, the flow is so smooth at one point that the writer completely forgoes using the character's name because by that point, the reader is invested enough in the scene that he already knows whose turn to talk it is and they can easily imagine it:
***
"I suppose so," said Mrs. Dursley stiffly.
"What's his name again? Howard, isn't it?"
"Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me."
***
This paragraphing is very efficient. It clears up everything, but there are no factual rules for paragraphing in writing. Now, you might cringe or squeak with delight as I tell you this, but please keep an open mind as I tell you that of all things, I found a FIMFiction writing guide of them all to be exceptionally educational, not just with paragraphing, but writing overall. Going back to my point, let me quote said guide's chapter on paragraphing and add that I agree with it:
***
New writers often have a bad habit of clumping all of their text into one or two paragraphs, likely because they don’t entirely understand the purpose of paragraphing, and they think it makes their writing look really long and impressive or something.
I will be the first to admit that I probably use too many paragraphs, but it’s better to do that than to use too few. Paragraphs enhance readability, and if your work’s not readable, no-one’s going to read it!
Paragraphs don’t have to be a certain minimum or maximum length. A single sentence can be its own paragraph. A paragraph can also, technically, be as many sentences long as you want, but you’ll usually find that it’s time to start a new one when you get past seven or eight.
The general idea is this:
★ One idea per paragraph. ★
The first paragraph of this section was about the paragraphing habits of new writers. The second was about my own possible shortcomings in regards to paragraphing. The third one was about paragraph length. This one is a summary of all the paragraphs that have come before.
Ice-cream is very tasty. My favourite flavour is vanilla, and I never put anything on it, because you should never put anything on good ice-cream.
Now that I’m done talking about ice-cream, I’ve started a new paragraph to talk about something else. There are no hard and fast rules about where to begin or end a paragraph, but you should get the hang of it with enough practice and enough reading.
***
But often, you see clustered paragraphs, like this one: (I wrote it up myself as an example.)
"Of course traps are not gay. Only an idiot would think to say so. Once again, traps are not gay, and I can prove it. I... I will prove it..." Markus argued, crossing his arms and glaring at his enemy who made the assertion. After a moment, he let his arms fall to his side, he tried to contain his anger, but couldn't. He looked at Jason with enmity. "I'll prove it with combat, that is. If traps were gay, I would not have ninjutsu super-powers. By beating you, I can prove my point! Take up your weapons," he ordered as he reached for and drew his two sai. He ran forward, his torso heavily leaning forward while his arms hung back. He let out a deafening screech as he ran across the pavement, intending to impale his opponent. But instead, he tripped and released a pair of huffs as his bruised body tumbled and rolled until it was just under his opponent's feet. Ashamed, and feeling the sand in his mouth, he spat onto the ground as he used his arms for leverage. He looked up at Jason and dryly said, "We'll call this a draw." He got up and walked away, clutching his arm which hurt badly after the accident. He forgot to take his weapons, which fell to the ground.
This is never seen in books for the reasons stated above, and seems to be exclusive to forum writing. As the creator of the writing guide that I've quoted above pointed out, it tends to be exclusive to new writers who have a poor idea of what paragraphing is about, and thus forming the bad habit of forcing everything into one or two paragraphs. As such, many users of online roleplaying forums like RPN also belong to this category of writers.
We struggle with this every day, and as such, I've decided to dub this phenomenon the 'Paragraph Problem.'
How can we counter-act this? Are tutorials and guides the key? What do you think?
References:
- Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone (pages 3 to 5) by J.K. Rowling.
- This: Writing Guide - Fimfiction
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