Northe
Guardian of the Winter Season
“If you’re reading this, I’m sorry.
Yes, I know you hate that first line, but it fits what I’m trying to tell you, so if I can get the message across while making you unreasonably angry of course I’m going to do it.”
The paper was old, the hand writing was crooked and messy, closer to chicken-scratch than legible words.
“I know you’re also angry you couldn’t find this in time, trust me, it was hard to hide it all from you. Leave it to my little sister to always be going through my things.”
Circular drops fell upon the page, soaking in next to the old stains. The tears disrupted the words, the ink spreading and bleeding.
“Despite everything, I still love you. Even though you steal my food, you’re always in the most inconvenient places, you always somehow manage to befriend all my friends… but who am I kidding? I’d be nothing without my sister. I don’t even think my girlfriend would have spoken to me if it weren’t for you. So… thank you.”
The edges of the note were frayed, like someone had ran their fingers up and down them many times, and a neat crease down the middle nearly tore the page in half where it has been folded and unfolded obsessively.
“Don’t cry. Please. This was all going to happen no matter what. There isn’t any possible way you, or anyone, could have stopped it. Please just know a couple things:
1. I’m safe.
2. I’m here if you need anything, you know I’ll always listen. And though I can’t give you advice about boys anymore, you know Killian will always talk to you.
3. You won’t be able to find me. That may sound harsh, but I don’t want you trying. Stay in school, do your work, keep your head up, and don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do anything.”
The note had been written without fault up to the list. Here was evidence of letters having been scratched out, smeared, and a heavy dose of white-out. It appeared to have one point extended on past the three numbers, but it was no longer.
“There’s only one thing I have to ask of you. Don’t show this to our parents. They won’t understand. Their shake their heads and say “I told you so!” and you know it. This was written for your eyes, and your eyes alone. If you choose to show it to Killian, Julia, Orion, or even George - yes that George - you can. And… well, there’s a whole list of names I could add. Just know that I have something left for each of them, though I know you’ll find yours the quickest. You always knew me the best.”
In the margins a list of names was added neatly in a different handwriting. A large amount of them had tiny question marks alongside.
“By the time you woke up I was already gone. I’m still around, I live in my legacy. You might scoff and ask “What legacy?” but you know it’s true. Killian knows more than he lets on, but he’s endlessly loyal. Julia will always be there, I swear she loves you more than me. Orion… he’s Orion. I’ll never truly understand that boy. I think he understands it all. George you’ll have to figure out for yourself. The rest of them probably won’t be of help, I won’t waste any more of your time.”
More names extended further down the page, tiny notes alongside a few. More silent tears fell onto the paper.
“I was gone before you woke up, so don’t ever beat yourself up about it. I’m okay, you’ll be okay. You’re going to do great out there. I trust you. I love you.
Your brother,
“
The final word was scratched out and smudged so heavily there was nothing more than a shapeless blob left.
The note was folded back along that same crease and tucked gently into a pocket.
Yes, I know you hate that first line, but it fits what I’m trying to tell you, so if I can get the message across while making you unreasonably angry of course I’m going to do it.”
The paper was old, the hand writing was crooked and messy, closer to chicken-scratch than legible words.
“I know you’re also angry you couldn’t find this in time, trust me, it was hard to hide it all from you. Leave it to my little sister to always be going through my things.”
Circular drops fell upon the page, soaking in next to the old stains. The tears disrupted the words, the ink spreading and bleeding.
“Despite everything, I still love you. Even though you steal my food, you’re always in the most inconvenient places, you always somehow manage to befriend all my friends… but who am I kidding? I’d be nothing without my sister. I don’t even think my girlfriend would have spoken to me if it weren’t for you. So… thank you.”
The edges of the note were frayed, like someone had ran their fingers up and down them many times, and a neat crease down the middle nearly tore the page in half where it has been folded and unfolded obsessively.
“Don’t cry. Please. This was all going to happen no matter what. There isn’t any possible way you, or anyone, could have stopped it. Please just know a couple things:
1. I’m safe.
2. I’m here if you need anything, you know I’ll always listen. And though I can’t give you advice about boys anymore, you know Killian will always talk to you.
3. You won’t be able to find me. That may sound harsh, but I don’t want you trying. Stay in school, do your work, keep your head up, and don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do anything.”
The note had been written without fault up to the list. Here was evidence of letters having been scratched out, smeared, and a heavy dose of white-out. It appeared to have one point extended on past the three numbers, but it was no longer.
“There’s only one thing I have to ask of you. Don’t show this to our parents. They won’t understand. Their shake their heads and say “I told you so!” and you know it. This was written for your eyes, and your eyes alone. If you choose to show it to Killian, Julia, Orion, or even George - yes that George - you can. And… well, there’s a whole list of names I could add. Just know that I have something left for each of them, though I know you’ll find yours the quickest. You always knew me the best.”
In the margins a list of names was added neatly in a different handwriting. A large amount of them had tiny question marks alongside.
“By the time you woke up I was already gone. I’m still around, I live in my legacy. You might scoff and ask “What legacy?” but you know it’s true. Killian knows more than he lets on, but he’s endlessly loyal. Julia will always be there, I swear she loves you more than me. Orion… he’s Orion. I’ll never truly understand that boy. I think he understands it all. George you’ll have to figure out for yourself. The rest of them probably won’t be of help, I won’t waste any more of your time.”
More names extended further down the page, tiny notes alongside a few. More silent tears fell onto the paper.
“I was gone before you woke up, so don’t ever beat yourself up about it. I’m okay, you’ll be okay. You’re going to do great out there. I trust you. I love you.
Your brother,
“
The final word was scratched out and smudged so heavily there was nothing more than a shapeless blob left.
The note was folded back along that same crease and tucked gently into a pocket.
