Story The Notes

[Northe]

“If you’re reading this, I’m sorry.
Yes, I know you hate that first line, but it fits what I’m trying to tell you, so if I can get the message across while making you unreasonably angry of course I’m going to do it.”

The paper was old, the hand writing was crooked and messy, closer to chicken-scratch than legible words.

“I know you’re also angry you couldn’t find this in time, trust me, it was hard to hide it all from you. Leave it to my little sister to always be going through my things.”

Circular drops fell upon the page, soaking in next to the old stains. The tears disrupted the words, the ink spreading and bleeding.

“Despite everything, I still love you. Even though you steal my food, you’re always in the most inconvenient places, you always somehow manage to befriend all my friends… but who am I kidding? I’d be nothing without my sister. I don’t even think my girlfriend would have spoken to me if it weren’t for you. So… thank you.”

The edges of the note were frayed, like someone had ran their fingers up and down them many times, and a neat crease down the middle nearly tore the page in half where it has been folded and unfolded obsessively.

“Don’t cry. Please. This was all going to happen no matter what. There isn’t any possible way you, or anyone, could have stopped it. Please just know a couple things:
1. I’m safe.
2. I’m here if you need anything, you know I’ll always listen. And though I can’t give you advice about boys anymore, you know Killian will always talk to you.
3. You won’t be able to find me. That may sound harsh, but I don’t want you trying. Stay in school, do your work, keep your head up, and don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do anything.”

The note had been written without fault up to the list. Here was evidence of letters having been scratched out, smeared, and a heavy dose of white-out. It appeared to have one point extended on past the three numbers, but it was no longer.

“There’s only one thing I have to ask of you. Don’t show this to our parents. They won’t understand. Their shake their heads and say “I told you so!” and you know it. This was written for your eyes, and your eyes alone. If you choose to show it to Killian, Julia, Orion, or even George - yes that George - you can. And… well, there’s a whole list of names I could add. Just know that I have something left for each of them, though I know you’ll find yours the quickest. You always knew me the best.”

In the margins a list of names was added neatly in a different handwriting. A large amount of them had tiny question marks alongside.

“By the time you woke up I was already gone. I’m still around, I live in my legacy. You might scoff and ask “What legacy?” but you know it’s true. Killian knows more than he lets on, but he’s endlessly loyal. Julia will always be there, I swear she loves you more than me. Orion… he’s Orion. I’ll never truly understand that boy. I think he understands it all. George you’ll have to figure out for yourself. The rest of them probably won’t be of help, I won’t waste any more of your time.”

More names extended further down the page, tiny notes alongside a few. More silent tears fell onto the paper.

“I was gone before you woke up, so don’t ever beat yourself up about it. I’m okay, you’ll be okay. You’re going to do great out there. I trust you. I love you.

Your brother,

“

The final word was scratched out and smudged so heavily there was nothing more than a shapeless blob left.

The note was folded back along that same crease and tucked gently into a pocket.

 

[Northe]

“I’m sorry Mother and Father - I’m not dead. Don’t you start celebrating yet, I’m not coming back. I wish I could say that everything I am now is all thanks to you. But I am who I am because that’s who I am. And you’d better leave my sister alone.”

The letters were typed in a pristine sheet of white paper. The black text held no mistakes or personality. It was typed in the default font on the computer - Arial.

“Truth is, everything that I’m not is all thanks to you. You both were role-models in my life, just as examples of who I shouldn’t be instead of who I wanted to be. You both lived your lives by your own rules, and while I might commend you for that, your own rules included breaking the law in so many ways you put your lives and your kids’ lives in danger. Sometimes I wonder how you’ve never been caught.”

The only imperfection on the page was a crinkle in the bottom right hand corner, as if someone had clutched the paper so hard in their hands while they read it, their anger became visible.

“I suppose I should give you both credit for something. If it weren’t for your natural abilities to evade the law, it would’ve been much hard to pull off what I managed to accomplish. Not that I was evading the law per say. But I will if I have to. Just as I told Livi, you won’t be able to find me.”

The message typed across the clean, pure, white paper continued after a small break.

“It’s been fourteen months since I left. I know you only found it now. Yes, it’s been here the whole time. Maybe if you spent more time with your kids you would have recognized not only my absence, but this little note I left. You might be asking how I knew you wouldn’t find it for fourteen months… well, that’s for me to know, and you to find out.

Goodbye,

Your Son”

The text ended there, all fit neatly onto one page of regular paper. But there was something else on the paper. Something hidden on the back.

“My son, you really need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions. Your parents try very hard to make sure you and your siblings have a life to live. You’d have nothing without us.”

The words were written in pen, slanted, crooked, in a child-like handwriting. Many words were spelled wrong then crossed out and fixed.

“I really can’t believe you’ve done this. To forsake your family like this? I’ll have you know, none of this will be shown to your sister. She doesn’t deserve to be hurt like this. It’s only to protect her. And we will find you. You forget we have connections. Once we have you back, I’ll personally make sure this is the final ‘little note’ you’ll ever write. Your nonsense is over, this is the end.

I’ll see you soon.

With love,”

The paper sat where is was found, then replaced, shrouded in darkness, hidden from anyone to ever see again.