So I wrote this with the idea in mind that it would be a part of huge large scale epic that i'd like to do with some other people on this site at some point in the future. I haven't written fantasy in quite some time, but this is sort of an idea I came up with. The character that is associated with this is going to be the half breed son of a brutal Chieftain who defied his cultural norms by not marrying to another strong tribal bloodline, and instead becomes enamored with a nymph who he meets as a young warrior. Who as soon as she has his child (the main character) leaves and is never seen again. It will end with the main character leaving his northern home after his father is killed during a challenge for leadership. This is the first draft, so really just trying to get the ideas on the paper.
Any feedback would be great, again i haven't written in awhile but i appreciate anyone taking a look. I'd really like some criticism when it comes to my writing in general not just the ideas, it has been a very long time since i wrote fantasy so i need to brush up on the skills.
I wrote about the Bolmar in this fashion because I thought it would give me a chance to dig a little deeper and give some depth to the culture and whatnot. But if anyone else as any ideas on how I could go about describing the Bolmar I'm all ears.
“Sir Harlin, may I present to you Thom Johanson, official envoy to the crown.”
“Ah! Thom I was expecting you some days ago, I hope the journey wasn’t too long from the capital.”
“It was quite cold Sir Harlin, Majesty’s envoys seldom have time to do anything but travel during these troubling times. You know as well as I the rumors circulating.”
“That I do” Harlin mumbled running his fingers through his beard “An incursion North to meet with these barbarians may help our cause, but dealing with these savages can be daunting.”
“That is what I’m here for Sir Harlin, your knowledge of what we are dealing with will be imperative for a successful encounter with these…characters.”
“That’s one way to describe them.” Laughed Harlin “First and foremost I’ve had some of my younger scribes and scouts compile and write out some important information you’ll need to know. The more you know the better…especially when dealing with these animals.”
Harlin chuckled and lifted a stack of parchment wrapped together by a long piece of cloth. “Well, get reading!”
The Tribes Of The Unsettled North
The lands of North are among the most dangerous of our province, no general or King has ever held dominion over this large swath of land bordering the Middle Kingdoms. And any incursions into this wasteland has always ended in devastating losses to whoever dared venture into it’s mountain ranges. The folk who live far away in the reaches of the North hold parallels to the barbarian tribes of the Plains and of the Red Isles. But unlike the Orcs and wild men, the history of the Northern tribes is much different. Being that the North is isolated to much of continent, the peoples who dwell there are unlike any found on the continent. Sages say the Orcs and Humans of the North have been living amongst one another for many centuries. Many say there is no man of pure-blood who is native to the North. Although the barbarians do not live under the authority of one supreme ruler, they are surprisingly organized and inter tribal wars seem to always come second to summer time raids. Most tribes share a similar culture and refer to themselves as the "Bormal", which translates roughly to “Sons of the Mountain”
The Orc-men of the North are known for their tremendous stature and pale grey skin. It is not uncommon to see a robust male stand over two meters, with his armor burned into his own flesh.
“Burned into their own flesh?” The envoy gasped.
“HA! Many may not notice while they run from these blood-crazed animals while their homes and farms burn to the ground. But let me tell you, when we repel the raids of the summer and you look at these savages. Some more than others, but you can expect for every warrior that climbs down from those mountains he has some sort of iron smashed into his own flesh.” Harlin barked, his eyes narrowing to meet the envoys blank stare. “ It’s called the Angi-jak.”
“Angi-jak?”
“The ceremony where a young warrior gets his first Ong-Kalkan, his Iron skin. The more pain he can stand, the more raids he survives and the more trophy’s he brings to his shit filled hut. The more Ong-Kalkan iron he has made. So you see, the more armor the harder they are to kill, and every single young warrior will die trying to get enough to one day challenge the Chieftain.”
Although the Bormal maintain a loose association between tribes and the small cities that are peppered within the ranges of the north, their culture is highly barbaric. All leadership is based off of prowess in battle, any chieftain may be challenged at any time. To reject is to step down from leadership, which is not uncommon for an older Chieftain. Former Chieftains are held in high regard and their bloodlines are respected and sought after by most males within the culture. To be or to have been a Chieftan symbolizes prowess physically and in combat, characteristics that are of paramount importance to the Bormal.
Any feedback would be great, again i haven't written in awhile but i appreciate anyone taking a look. I'd really like some criticism when it comes to my writing in general not just the ideas, it has been a very long time since i wrote fantasy so i need to brush up on the skills.
I wrote about the Bolmar in this fashion because I thought it would give me a chance to dig a little deeper and give some depth to the culture and whatnot. But if anyone else as any ideas on how I could go about describing the Bolmar I'm all ears.
“Sir Harlin, may I present to you Thom Johanson, official envoy to the crown.”
“Ah! Thom I was expecting you some days ago, I hope the journey wasn’t too long from the capital.”
“It was quite cold Sir Harlin, Majesty’s envoys seldom have time to do anything but travel during these troubling times. You know as well as I the rumors circulating.”
“That I do” Harlin mumbled running his fingers through his beard “An incursion North to meet with these barbarians may help our cause, but dealing with these savages can be daunting.”
“That is what I’m here for Sir Harlin, your knowledge of what we are dealing with will be imperative for a successful encounter with these…characters.”
“That’s one way to describe them.” Laughed Harlin “First and foremost I’ve had some of my younger scribes and scouts compile and write out some important information you’ll need to know. The more you know the better…especially when dealing with these animals.”
Harlin chuckled and lifted a stack of parchment wrapped together by a long piece of cloth. “Well, get reading!”
The Tribes Of The Unsettled North
The lands of North are among the most dangerous of our province, no general or King has ever held dominion over this large swath of land bordering the Middle Kingdoms. And any incursions into this wasteland has always ended in devastating losses to whoever dared venture into it’s mountain ranges. The folk who live far away in the reaches of the North hold parallels to the barbarian tribes of the Plains and of the Red Isles. But unlike the Orcs and wild men, the history of the Northern tribes is much different. Being that the North is isolated to much of continent, the peoples who dwell there are unlike any found on the continent. Sages say the Orcs and Humans of the North have been living amongst one another for many centuries. Many say there is no man of pure-blood who is native to the North. Although the barbarians do not live under the authority of one supreme ruler, they are surprisingly organized and inter tribal wars seem to always come second to summer time raids. Most tribes share a similar culture and refer to themselves as the "Bormal", which translates roughly to “Sons of the Mountain”
The Orc-men of the North are known for their tremendous stature and pale grey skin. It is not uncommon to see a robust male stand over two meters, with his armor burned into his own flesh.
“Burned into their own flesh?” The envoy gasped.
“HA! Many may not notice while they run from these blood-crazed animals while their homes and farms burn to the ground. But let me tell you, when we repel the raids of the summer and you look at these savages. Some more than others, but you can expect for every warrior that climbs down from those mountains he has some sort of iron smashed into his own flesh.” Harlin barked, his eyes narrowing to meet the envoys blank stare. “ It’s called the Angi-jak.”
“Angi-jak?”
“The ceremony where a young warrior gets his first Ong-Kalkan, his Iron skin. The more pain he can stand, the more raids he survives and the more trophy’s he brings to his shit filled hut. The more Ong-Kalkan iron he has made. So you see, the more armor the harder they are to kill, and every single young warrior will die trying to get enough to one day challenge the Chieftain.”
Although the Bormal maintain a loose association between tribes and the small cities that are peppered within the ranges of the north, their culture is highly barbaric. All leadership is based off of prowess in battle, any chieftain may be challenged at any time. To reject is to step down from leadership, which is not uncommon for an older Chieftain. Former Chieftains are held in high regard and their bloodlines are respected and sought after by most males within the culture. To be or to have been a Chieftan symbolizes prowess physically and in combat, characteristics that are of paramount importance to the Bormal.
