Imshimoonshine
New Member
This something I wrote in a rush, but then I started having ideas about possible characters for a roleplay(???)
Anyway, I am anxious for criticism of my work. If you have any plot ideas could you eventually post them below ( I am just interested). Also, I am new to this site so if this post is in the wrong place please tell me.
Enjoy!
The periwinkle blue of her eyes sparkled in the white neon light as she pulled out the knife. There was something nonchalant in her manner as she took a small square of cloth from a pocket and calmly wiped the razor-sharp blade clean in precise and practiced movements. Something about the set of her shoulders under the dark material of the military-like black gear she wore proclaimed her to be ‘in the zone’, like an athlete preparing for a big race as he places himself at the starting line.
She knew the faces of all the people she had killed, could visit them in her mind as sharply detailed as photographs, but they did not trouble her dreams. Every one of them had died for the Cause.
Sweat pearled on the man’s pudgy brow, a grunt of surprise came from his overindulged mouth as he saw the blood soak through his shirt. His eyes clouded with the phantom of death as he toppled forwards, his spectacles shattering on the linoleum floor.
The woman could have used a curse, killing him instantly and trapping his soul in his body and preventing it from ever passing the first threshold, but she was feeling lenient today.
Her hands sketched the air in ritual movement, and a shimmering mark appeared over the man’s body and hung there for a moment, before it and the man were engulfed in thundering flames.
‘I am giving you the funeral pyre reserved for heroes and great warriors’, she said, her voice echoing along the glass walls of the greenhouse, her mouth tilting upwards at the corner, almost amused but then her face grew serious again, and she muttered ‘but you are only one piece of the puzzle.’
Anyway, I am anxious for criticism of my work. If you have any plot ideas could you eventually post them below ( I am just interested). Also, I am new to this site so if this post is in the wrong place please tell me.
Enjoy!
The periwinkle blue of her eyes sparkled in the white neon light as she pulled out the knife. There was something nonchalant in her manner as she took a small square of cloth from a pocket and calmly wiped the razor-sharp blade clean in precise and practiced movements. Something about the set of her shoulders under the dark material of the military-like black gear she wore proclaimed her to be ‘in the zone’, like an athlete preparing for a big race as he places himself at the starting line.
She knew the faces of all the people she had killed, could visit them in her mind as sharply detailed as photographs, but they did not trouble her dreams. Every one of them had died for the Cause.
Sweat pearled on the man’s pudgy brow, a grunt of surprise came from his overindulged mouth as he saw the blood soak through his shirt. His eyes clouded with the phantom of death as he toppled forwards, his spectacles shattering on the linoleum floor.
The woman could have used a curse, killing him instantly and trapping his soul in his body and preventing it from ever passing the first threshold, but she was feeling lenient today.
Her hands sketched the air in ritual movement, and a shimmering mark appeared over the man’s body and hung there for a moment, before it and the man were engulfed in thundering flames.
‘I am giving you the funeral pyre reserved for heroes and great warriors’, she said, her voice echoing along the glass walls of the greenhouse, her mouth tilting upwards at the corner, almost amused but then her face grew serious again, and she muttered ‘but you are only one piece of the puzzle.’
Last edited by a moderator:
