FeMChara
Lazy Seer
(This is an update of an older story-don't judge me for the homestuck, plz! But really, I updated this for a V20 game with a Terezi expy. Same name, different experiences. The story was originally written to be Vampire-agnostic. It could be oVamp, nVamp or V20. This pushes it more directly to V20.)
WARNING: Violence and cussing.
We were supposed to be sisters. We promised so much. I wanted to believe I could trust her, that she wouldn't aim that wildness at me. She believed the same of me and my icy coldness. Neither of us really should have. If anything, I deserved her as much as she deserved me; that's a judgment on us both, believe you me-but I never lied to you or her. Great consolation, I know.
Sisters back to back. There ain't no family blood between us. If ma taught me anything, it's that blood ties don't mean shit but obligation. Not like people always say-you know. Blood is thicker than watet. But sisters, now like me and her were? It was supposed to be different. What a moron I am. How pathetic we both were.
We met in the same indifferent middle school, same homeroom. I admired her, the way you'd admire fire. Beautiful. Dangerous. I was tired of being teased. I hated it, being the dutiful daughter and being mocked and beat up for trying to stay true to my family's culture. Rough school, rough neighborhood, weak old me. Anyone would have been better than anyone, so I went up to her. "Let me hang out with you and I'll study with you. I'll let you copy my homework."
"Prove it." She told me, her lower lip sticking out in a suspicious pout-and so I did and I loved her in those days.
She had the least fucking clue of who I was and I could have beaten her up, too but I didn't. She learned fast. People didn't respect that eggheaded shrimp at first-but she earned that respect eventually. She'll act all high and mighty, Miss Pyrope but she's red-handed, too. Dirty as me. Kids were scared of me and nobody messed with her because of that at first-but she did learn how to fight with me. She was cold and vicious. So was I, so we fit each other plenty good. She could figure out stuff and people real good but we both had a gift for getting whatever we wanted out of the world. Almost.
We had an understanding; at least, we did then. Ma told me not to get stupid, not to let her get close to me. I screamed back that she was even more stupid for trusting nobody. She was calm when she waited for my face to be not so red. "You're right, Vriska. But stupid untrusting me will outlive stupid trusting you."
Ma was wrong. But only by just a bit and a technicality.
For years, we were friends. From twelve years up to seventeen, but when I turned sixteen, she became a stranger. More angry. At the time, I thought it was because her mom had been found murdered. Stabbed and shot, leaving fear laying dumb on the floor to stink and mess with her head. I do think she loved her mom or tried to. It is hard to tell from here but the Spider was dead, no matter what anyone did and that didn't change. What did was her. I would only learn much later why it was. She came to me one night, soon after we hit that big sweet sixteen. Vriska was never scared in front of me and she was that night. Sometimes, she broke down and just sat hugging me. No father that I knew of. Mom's a hell bitch. Then there wasn't even that bitch to be there for her.
Her mom was into something heavy, hooked into something. She talked about something called-what was it-revenant? She would bring people to her mom who wouldn't be seen again. Some people say that her mom killed them, sold them or even ate them up. Whatever the Spider did, it left Vriska thinking that maybe that would happen to her, too if she didn't do as her mom said. Eaten, sold, disappeared. I thought that she would be relieved when her mother died. I also figured that when she wasn't, that the human heart was simply a mysterious thing. I was wrong. That wasn't it at all.
"I'm in deep shit and I know it." She started; I heard but it wouldn't do her or me any good-I wasn't listening.
She tried to listen, but she couldn't understand the real story. Would you believe it if your friend tried to talk about a blood inheritance and an addiction to a stupid 'tea'? Of course it wasn't simply tea but at first, I just thought that he'd drugged me. When mom died, I inherited her debts, her business and I learned and understood what happened to all the people I'd brought to my mom the first night that creep came to visit me. To comfort the hood rat with her hoodlum friends and he knew just the ticket to 'help' my suffering.
He wasn't wrong. Unlike any drug I'd ever heard of, the tea didn't leave smoke in my head that I could tell.I just felt like I was more alive, stronger, faster, smarter; and it stayed, it was real. I didn't see shit that wasn't there and I just felt like I was Super Vriska. And I really was but I needed at least a dose a month to not run low. A little bit returned every day but not much after I'd spent myself.
"I know I am in deep shit and I can't just pull out and bail. It just feels too good. I get too much for being in it." I told her. She tried digging into it but what could I tell her? I understood fuckall myself then. I didn't even know what I was, really or what I'd become. She asked if I could get out of the manure pile I was in. I made a mistake then. "Yeah, the shit I am in doesn't know I could just get up and walk away. I am supposed to feel something but I don't." I figured if I did, he would kill me or whatever he did but I didn't tell her that-I feared him, that was smart. Not smart enough, I should have feared her, too.
She didn't trust me anymore after that and I didn't see her much after dark anymore either. She sometimes lost her temper over silly things and she was never sorry, it was never her fault. By then, she wasn't my only friend anymore. Nobody teased me anymore and she had friends of her own that I didn't know. Or so I thought. God, I was massively ignorant and I thought I knew everything. How damn arrogant, wasn't it? I should never have gone digging.
Lovecraft once spoke of things man was not meant to know and I thought it was just a pail of lies from a shitty man. I wish I had thought of that before I got nosy-but she had gone too far. I had to take care of it, she was my sister, wasn't she? I was responsible for her. I had no business thinking that or doing what I did. None at all.
It wasn't supposed to end up like this. I went back to my old gang one night and they were doing an initiation. The prospect wasn't really in the running and the poor bastard didn't even know about it. We just wanted to teach him and then I lost my temper. He wouldn't get the fucking hint to forget about us and just go home. I didn't want to hurt him, but he made me. And he went into the hospital, came out in a wheelchair he could never go without, useless below those shapely hips of his.
But Peter Pan had a friend who knew magic. You know all this and you doubt me? Bitch was a mage. The night he came out of the hospital, shadows stalked me and accused me. Calling out in voices with dead, bloodless faves in every glass that reflected back at me. "Butcher. Scorpion. Murderer. You killed us." They whispered.
"I didn't know and when I did, I had to live, too!" I tried to tell them.
You never asked. You never even cared. We will give you no rest, no peace. Join usjoin usjoin us- They were whipsers, they were screams and I just wanted them to SHUT UP-and so I went to him. Doc, the teamaker. He found out who did it and he taught me a special way of saying words. I could find ways of getting what I wanted with them and I wanted the haunting to stop.
And that's when I got the one who avenged that cripple taken care of. Her name is Aradia and she didn't stay taken care of. I have heard some stories since then that scare even me and that's real bad news, considering what I've become now.
She went too damn far. I was tired of her vanishing for weeks, tired of her temper and it looked so much more obvious to me than before or after. I followed her one night and found a man with bright green eyes, pale sallow skin, white-blond hair and always in a three-piece suit and a bowtie. Always. He called out to me. "I won't kill you, come out Terezi Pyrope. Yes, I know who you are already. Call me Doc." He drawled.
It was an arrogant voice and an intelligent voice full of experience. He made me uncomfortable and I didn't want to spend any longer there than I had to. "Does Vriska work for you." Pieces came together-not enough but just enough to tie my own noose and slip it around my neck. I didn't know it, but I was signing my own death warrant. "She does, doesn't she?"
That damn smarmy smile never left his face. "Please, allow me to welcome you more warmly-and yes. She's family after a sort, I owe it to her mother who was also like family. Had I known Aranea was so horrendous a mother, I would have taken her into hand sooner. Alas." Something felt off about that but he showed me into his home, a home tightly shuttered and with a lot of green. I didn't really understand what the hints added up to, it was impossible to my mind. He made a pot of tea and I don't remember taking my eyes off of it. He sipped at his tea and I saw a bit of color return to his cheeks. I sipped at my tea and while it wasn't a blend I was familiar with, it tasted good.
"I think she told me about you once." I remembered that night. I remember the night I met Doc well, too. Similar reasons. "But she didn't say your name, only that she was in some bad business."
He seemed amused at that. "I would imagine she was more irreverent than that-and foul-mouthed. Kindly do not spare me. I know the young woman well enough."
"She said she had an advantage, if not in those exact words." I drank the tea unexpectedly fast and set the cup down.
He refilled it, scoffing softly. "What advantage is this? The girl's a troublemaker but she spoke of you often." I drank more of the hot tea, sloshing it around my mouth as he spoke; tasty stuff. "You know this as well."
I betrayed Vriska with my next words, the next two statements. "Yes, but she told me something you might understand more than I do. What is this tea? It's good."
"A special oolong blend I ordered online with things such as passion flower." He answered, looking positively delighted. "But do go on."
"She said that you didn't know that she could just walk away. That she didn't feel something that she was supposed to." Those words betrayed her and those words sealed both our fates.
In billiards, sinking in the white cue ball is called a scratch, after which, the other player could set the ball in an advantageous spot for them. I thought that I had gotten that out of Vriska, that he was my Doc Scratch. He was, if not how I had expected. I remember that he grew enraged. "She's what?!" I remember feeling the distant urge to scream as a beast burst out on that face so formerly mild, becoming a rictus of fury. I don't think he ever liked being surprised-surprising others was more his speed.
The tea was not only tea. It was a noose, I realized as he reached for me and I felt no wish to raise my hands, even if I was scared. The cup clattered to the table and a moment of pain. An indeterminate time of drifting in bliss. When I came to awareness, he was there, his face placid again, no mess, a cup in my hands and me sitting down as if it had only been a dream. "Do what you think is necessary, Terezi. She has surely gone insane with what I have heard."
We never killed, we never seriously hurt anyone. We said it made us different and that it was just too far. I had thought. "Of course, doc."
It made so much sense at the time-but I was her sister, her blood-oath sister. It wasn't enough to stop me-or her.
I was a week past seventeen but it doesn't matter. Just something that happened to be true; I smirked at her. "Sister, why are you here?" I asked her.
"Don't ever call me that again, Vriska Serket. You went too far and you ended up responsible for murder." She spat out. "And I won't let you hurt anyone else."
This was a stupid faceoff, over stupid things and a stupid push from an equally stupid man. Stupid her and stupid me. "So what are you going to do, sister? You gonna call the cops? On Me? Get real!" I sneered at her.
She was carefully blank. "It would be a mercy-to you. And a cruelty to everyone else. No proof but your word against mine-but I know what you did!"
My ma said that trust would kill me one day. I trusted her for some reason. "Like you are so clean. How about those times you beat up kids right along with me? That girl you got on for how she teased you? She hung herself, you know. Maybe you should too, if you're that serious about seeing me go down for going too far. They had it coming! She shouldn't have messed with me or my head!" I don't know when I started screaming. She winced at that, Miss High and Mighty. "You know I take care of bitches who do that!"
"But you didn't cause their friends to die before, you don't even deny it!" She sounded sick. Sick of me, sick of being my sister. I saw what I had always been to her, or so I thought. Young and dumb was me.
"What fucking gall and bullshit. I don't have to answer to you, now or ever!" sisters. Were's supposed to be protecting one another. I protected her once when not even her family would. And how did I repay her for her friendship in return? Well...
"I don't need a monster for a sister, so you're right." She was so cold.
I turned my back on her. "Go away, you nerdy, skinny brat. Go back to the nice blood family who would let your aunt beat you for no good reason. Who told you to suck it up when you got beat up at school, too." I turned my back and I felt something both hot and cold there.
The rage took hold and I turned as she took the literal knife from my back. I dimbly remember grabbing her head and screaming 'You see me! You see me!' as I scratched at her face like a rabid thing, beating and scratching where I could. I also remember my ears ringing with her screams as she stabbed me again and again until i couldn't feel it or stand anymore, her face a bloody ruin as I fell down and everything went black.
I died that night but someone didn't let me moulder in the ground. I've been dead since then and I ain't no longer who or what I was, not anymore. Terezi Pyrope murdered me but I did worse and I deserved it.. All in all, I think we're even-but not because of that fight, who did or didn't do what; it's what came of it. You see, Doc's tea? He puts his blood into it and it bends the drinker to his will. It takes only three drinks and he owns any drinker; but not me. You see, I was different somehow, I was immune.
Terezi Pyrope was not.
Vriska died and I never saw her again. I still have some faint scars from her dying moments and Doc, my Doc Scratch kept me working in her place but not at whatever she did. No, I studied up for school. No more trouble, he refused to tolerate it and I was tired of trouble anyway. Just study it was, for years. When I graduated high school, I tried to find a tombstone for Vriska. There wasn't one. I try to make a visit to the graveyard anyway, once a year to remind myself. Maybe that's all finished and maybe it's not. I don't know.
I understand that I was a ghoul, that you are too and so was Vriska. I understood that I was to serve Doc as long as I was his ghoul. They are partners, except exchangeable.
I passed the bar easily. I was always a quick study and I still look pretty young. You do not need to actually have good sight to be a lawyer, as it turns out but it does help. The night I passed it, Doc presented me with a surprise. Maybe the prince of the city had seen fit to approve his request-or that's my guess, anyway. I didn't think I'd be given... this. I would have expected someone with better eyes than mine, but that wasn't to be.
I became kindred six months ago. six months of hell. I came back tonight to tell you that he's gone. A firebomb. I gave you my blood tonight because I need your help. We need to get out of town, find a new beginning. I have become a monster and I have to repay that monstrance, one way or another-but that's another story for another night. I will protect you from others like me the best I can. I wanted you to know what you're getting into and why I have to take the precautions I do. I want to be a decent person still. I will repay the world for the evil I do. You can be comforted as you can be in that. I regret those days, with how Vriska died. But all I can do is move forward. I can't ask forgiveness of a corpse and I don't know if I could ever really forgive myself for my own actions, either.
So watch out for her, she's not so tough but she means bloody business. A little sun will burn us Kindred right up but a bit of blood will keep us going a while longer in this endless night of hell. We were sisters. Blood-oath sisters. Maybe we are still connected, but I do think she'll protect and stand by you for real. She learned and she is that kind of person without someone to stir the pot. Just know who you're getting into things with, jeez.
As for how I became one of the cannibal corpses? Wouldn't you like to know. Go home to her before something nastier than a sewer rat like me notices you. That's the whole thing you need to know, so. Yeah. Go home to her. No, I can't ask her to forgice me. I forgave her ages ago and it's up to her.
You know know what to do now, don't you? Take care of her, Karkat.
WARNING: Violence and cussing.
We were supposed to be sisters. We promised so much. I wanted to believe I could trust her, that she wouldn't aim that wildness at me. She believed the same of me and my icy coldness. Neither of us really should have. If anything, I deserved her as much as she deserved me; that's a judgment on us both, believe you me-but I never lied to you or her. Great consolation, I know.
Sisters back to back. There ain't no family blood between us. If ma taught me anything, it's that blood ties don't mean shit but obligation. Not like people always say-you know. Blood is thicker than watet. But sisters, now like me and her were? It was supposed to be different. What a moron I am. How pathetic we both were.
We met in the same indifferent middle school, same homeroom. I admired her, the way you'd admire fire. Beautiful. Dangerous. I was tired of being teased. I hated it, being the dutiful daughter and being mocked and beat up for trying to stay true to my family's culture. Rough school, rough neighborhood, weak old me. Anyone would have been better than anyone, so I went up to her. "Let me hang out with you and I'll study with you. I'll let you copy my homework."
"Prove it." She told me, her lower lip sticking out in a suspicious pout-and so I did and I loved her in those days.
She had the least fucking clue of who I was and I could have beaten her up, too but I didn't. She learned fast. People didn't respect that eggheaded shrimp at first-but she earned that respect eventually. She'll act all high and mighty, Miss Pyrope but she's red-handed, too. Dirty as me. Kids were scared of me and nobody messed with her because of that at first-but she did learn how to fight with me. She was cold and vicious. So was I, so we fit each other plenty good. She could figure out stuff and people real good but we both had a gift for getting whatever we wanted out of the world. Almost.
We had an understanding; at least, we did then. Ma told me not to get stupid, not to let her get close to me. I screamed back that she was even more stupid for trusting nobody. She was calm when she waited for my face to be not so red. "You're right, Vriska. But stupid untrusting me will outlive stupid trusting you."
Ma was wrong. But only by just a bit and a technicality.
For years, we were friends. From twelve years up to seventeen, but when I turned sixteen, she became a stranger. More angry. At the time, I thought it was because her mom had been found murdered. Stabbed and shot, leaving fear laying dumb on the floor to stink and mess with her head. I do think she loved her mom or tried to. It is hard to tell from here but the Spider was dead, no matter what anyone did and that didn't change. What did was her. I would only learn much later why it was. She came to me one night, soon after we hit that big sweet sixteen. Vriska was never scared in front of me and she was that night. Sometimes, she broke down and just sat hugging me. No father that I knew of. Mom's a hell bitch. Then there wasn't even that bitch to be there for her.
Her mom was into something heavy, hooked into something. She talked about something called-what was it-revenant? She would bring people to her mom who wouldn't be seen again. Some people say that her mom killed them, sold them or even ate them up. Whatever the Spider did, it left Vriska thinking that maybe that would happen to her, too if she didn't do as her mom said. Eaten, sold, disappeared. I thought that she would be relieved when her mother died. I also figured that when she wasn't, that the human heart was simply a mysterious thing. I was wrong. That wasn't it at all.
"I'm in deep shit and I know it." She started; I heard but it wouldn't do her or me any good-I wasn't listening.
She tried to listen, but she couldn't understand the real story. Would you believe it if your friend tried to talk about a blood inheritance and an addiction to a stupid 'tea'? Of course it wasn't simply tea but at first, I just thought that he'd drugged me. When mom died, I inherited her debts, her business and I learned and understood what happened to all the people I'd brought to my mom the first night that creep came to visit me. To comfort the hood rat with her hoodlum friends and he knew just the ticket to 'help' my suffering.
He wasn't wrong. Unlike any drug I'd ever heard of, the tea didn't leave smoke in my head that I could tell.I just felt like I was more alive, stronger, faster, smarter; and it stayed, it was real. I didn't see shit that wasn't there and I just felt like I was Super Vriska. And I really was but I needed at least a dose a month to not run low. A little bit returned every day but not much after I'd spent myself.
"I know I am in deep shit and I can't just pull out and bail. It just feels too good. I get too much for being in it." I told her. She tried digging into it but what could I tell her? I understood fuckall myself then. I didn't even know what I was, really or what I'd become. She asked if I could get out of the manure pile I was in. I made a mistake then. "Yeah, the shit I am in doesn't know I could just get up and walk away. I am supposed to feel something but I don't." I figured if I did, he would kill me or whatever he did but I didn't tell her that-I feared him, that was smart. Not smart enough, I should have feared her, too.
She didn't trust me anymore after that and I didn't see her much after dark anymore either. She sometimes lost her temper over silly things and she was never sorry, it was never her fault. By then, she wasn't my only friend anymore. Nobody teased me anymore and she had friends of her own that I didn't know. Or so I thought. God, I was massively ignorant and I thought I knew everything. How damn arrogant, wasn't it? I should never have gone digging.
Lovecraft once spoke of things man was not meant to know and I thought it was just a pail of lies from a shitty man. I wish I had thought of that before I got nosy-but she had gone too far. I had to take care of it, she was my sister, wasn't she? I was responsible for her. I had no business thinking that or doing what I did. None at all.
It wasn't supposed to end up like this. I went back to my old gang one night and they were doing an initiation. The prospect wasn't really in the running and the poor bastard didn't even know about it. We just wanted to teach him and then I lost my temper. He wouldn't get the fucking hint to forget about us and just go home. I didn't want to hurt him, but he made me. And he went into the hospital, came out in a wheelchair he could never go without, useless below those shapely hips of his.
But Peter Pan had a friend who knew magic. You know all this and you doubt me? Bitch was a mage. The night he came out of the hospital, shadows stalked me and accused me. Calling out in voices with dead, bloodless faves in every glass that reflected back at me. "Butcher. Scorpion. Murderer. You killed us." They whispered.
"I didn't know and when I did, I had to live, too!" I tried to tell them.
You never asked. You never even cared. We will give you no rest, no peace. Join usjoin usjoin us- They were whipsers, they were screams and I just wanted them to SHUT UP-and so I went to him. Doc, the teamaker. He found out who did it and he taught me a special way of saying words. I could find ways of getting what I wanted with them and I wanted the haunting to stop.
And that's when I got the one who avenged that cripple taken care of. Her name is Aradia and she didn't stay taken care of. I have heard some stories since then that scare even me and that's real bad news, considering what I've become now.
She went too damn far. I was tired of her vanishing for weeks, tired of her temper and it looked so much more obvious to me than before or after. I followed her one night and found a man with bright green eyes, pale sallow skin, white-blond hair and always in a three-piece suit and a bowtie. Always. He called out to me. "I won't kill you, come out Terezi Pyrope. Yes, I know who you are already. Call me Doc." He drawled.
It was an arrogant voice and an intelligent voice full of experience. He made me uncomfortable and I didn't want to spend any longer there than I had to. "Does Vriska work for you." Pieces came together-not enough but just enough to tie my own noose and slip it around my neck. I didn't know it, but I was signing my own death warrant. "She does, doesn't she?"
That damn smarmy smile never left his face. "Please, allow me to welcome you more warmly-and yes. She's family after a sort, I owe it to her mother who was also like family. Had I known Aranea was so horrendous a mother, I would have taken her into hand sooner. Alas." Something felt off about that but he showed me into his home, a home tightly shuttered and with a lot of green. I didn't really understand what the hints added up to, it was impossible to my mind. He made a pot of tea and I don't remember taking my eyes off of it. He sipped at his tea and I saw a bit of color return to his cheeks. I sipped at my tea and while it wasn't a blend I was familiar with, it tasted good.
"I think she told me about you once." I remembered that night. I remember the night I met Doc well, too. Similar reasons. "But she didn't say your name, only that she was in some bad business."
He seemed amused at that. "I would imagine she was more irreverent than that-and foul-mouthed. Kindly do not spare me. I know the young woman well enough."
"She said she had an advantage, if not in those exact words." I drank the tea unexpectedly fast and set the cup down.
He refilled it, scoffing softly. "What advantage is this? The girl's a troublemaker but she spoke of you often." I drank more of the hot tea, sloshing it around my mouth as he spoke; tasty stuff. "You know this as well."
I betrayed Vriska with my next words, the next two statements. "Yes, but she told me something you might understand more than I do. What is this tea? It's good."
"A special oolong blend I ordered online with things such as passion flower." He answered, looking positively delighted. "But do go on."
"She said that you didn't know that she could just walk away. That she didn't feel something that she was supposed to." Those words betrayed her and those words sealed both our fates.
In billiards, sinking in the white cue ball is called a scratch, after which, the other player could set the ball in an advantageous spot for them. I thought that I had gotten that out of Vriska, that he was my Doc Scratch. He was, if not how I had expected. I remember that he grew enraged. "She's what?!" I remember feeling the distant urge to scream as a beast burst out on that face so formerly mild, becoming a rictus of fury. I don't think he ever liked being surprised-surprising others was more his speed.
The tea was not only tea. It was a noose, I realized as he reached for me and I felt no wish to raise my hands, even if I was scared. The cup clattered to the table and a moment of pain. An indeterminate time of drifting in bliss. When I came to awareness, he was there, his face placid again, no mess, a cup in my hands and me sitting down as if it had only been a dream. "Do what you think is necessary, Terezi. She has surely gone insane with what I have heard."
We never killed, we never seriously hurt anyone. We said it made us different and that it was just too far. I had thought. "Of course, doc."
It made so much sense at the time-but I was her sister, her blood-oath sister. It wasn't enough to stop me-or her.
I was a week past seventeen but it doesn't matter. Just something that happened to be true; I smirked at her. "Sister, why are you here?" I asked her.
"Don't ever call me that again, Vriska Serket. You went too far and you ended up responsible for murder." She spat out. "And I won't let you hurt anyone else."
This was a stupid faceoff, over stupid things and a stupid push from an equally stupid man. Stupid her and stupid me. "So what are you going to do, sister? You gonna call the cops? On Me? Get real!" I sneered at her.
She was carefully blank. "It would be a mercy-to you. And a cruelty to everyone else. No proof but your word against mine-but I know what you did!"
My ma said that trust would kill me one day. I trusted her for some reason. "Like you are so clean. How about those times you beat up kids right along with me? That girl you got on for how she teased you? She hung herself, you know. Maybe you should too, if you're that serious about seeing me go down for going too far. They had it coming! She shouldn't have messed with me or my head!" I don't know when I started screaming. She winced at that, Miss High and Mighty. "You know I take care of bitches who do that!"
"But you didn't cause their friends to die before, you don't even deny it!" She sounded sick. Sick of me, sick of being my sister. I saw what I had always been to her, or so I thought. Young and dumb was me.
"What fucking gall and bullshit. I don't have to answer to you, now or ever!" sisters. Were's supposed to be protecting one another. I protected her once when not even her family would. And how did I repay her for her friendship in return? Well...
"I don't need a monster for a sister, so you're right." She was so cold.
I turned my back on her. "Go away, you nerdy, skinny brat. Go back to the nice blood family who would let your aunt beat you for no good reason. Who told you to suck it up when you got beat up at school, too." I turned my back and I felt something both hot and cold there.
The rage took hold and I turned as she took the literal knife from my back. I dimbly remember grabbing her head and screaming 'You see me! You see me!' as I scratched at her face like a rabid thing, beating and scratching where I could. I also remember my ears ringing with her screams as she stabbed me again and again until i couldn't feel it or stand anymore, her face a bloody ruin as I fell down and everything went black.
I died that night but someone didn't let me moulder in the ground. I've been dead since then and I ain't no longer who or what I was, not anymore. Terezi Pyrope murdered me but I did worse and I deserved it.. All in all, I think we're even-but not because of that fight, who did or didn't do what; it's what came of it. You see, Doc's tea? He puts his blood into it and it bends the drinker to his will. It takes only three drinks and he owns any drinker; but not me. You see, I was different somehow, I was immune.
Terezi Pyrope was not.
Vriska died and I never saw her again. I still have some faint scars from her dying moments and Doc, my Doc Scratch kept me working in her place but not at whatever she did. No, I studied up for school. No more trouble, he refused to tolerate it and I was tired of trouble anyway. Just study it was, for years. When I graduated high school, I tried to find a tombstone for Vriska. There wasn't one. I try to make a visit to the graveyard anyway, once a year to remind myself. Maybe that's all finished and maybe it's not. I don't know.
I understand that I was a ghoul, that you are too and so was Vriska. I understood that I was to serve Doc as long as I was his ghoul. They are partners, except exchangeable.
I passed the bar easily. I was always a quick study and I still look pretty young. You do not need to actually have good sight to be a lawyer, as it turns out but it does help. The night I passed it, Doc presented me with a surprise. Maybe the prince of the city had seen fit to approve his request-or that's my guess, anyway. I didn't think I'd be given... this. I would have expected someone with better eyes than mine, but that wasn't to be.
I became kindred six months ago. six months of hell. I came back tonight to tell you that he's gone. A firebomb. I gave you my blood tonight because I need your help. We need to get out of town, find a new beginning. I have become a monster and I have to repay that monstrance, one way or another-but that's another story for another night. I will protect you from others like me the best I can. I wanted you to know what you're getting into and why I have to take the precautions I do. I want to be a decent person still. I will repay the world for the evil I do. You can be comforted as you can be in that. I regret those days, with how Vriska died. But all I can do is move forward. I can't ask forgiveness of a corpse and I don't know if I could ever really forgive myself for my own actions, either.
So watch out for her, she's not so tough but she means bloody business. A little sun will burn us Kindred right up but a bit of blood will keep us going a while longer in this endless night of hell. We were sisters. Blood-oath sisters. Maybe we are still connected, but I do think she'll protect and stand by you for real. She learned and she is that kind of person without someone to stir the pot. Just know who you're getting into things with, jeez.
As for how I became one of the cannibal corpses? Wouldn't you like to know. Go home to her before something nastier than a sewer rat like me notices you. That's the whole thing you need to know, so. Yeah. Go home to her. No, I can't ask her to forgice me. I forgave her ages ago and it's up to her.
You know know what to do now, don't you? Take care of her, Karkat.
