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Fantasy Silent Rapture - OOC

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Goonfire Goonfire
I am adding an extra weakness: your character should be very weak against divine attacks, such as those from minor deities or angels. Add that in and Charun is accepted.
 
Coldpopz Coldpopz
You did not read the rules well enough. One of the issues is that I do not like point form. Please re-read the rules and edit accordingly.
 
monochromegalaxy monochromegalaxy

Your voice jumps between past and present tense throughout the bio, please correct this to past tense only.

Your character is too powerful in that she has too many skills. The sword or the magic powers must go. I also said you could have one demon to summon. If you want to keep the mage powers or the sword then please pick one demon and outline its abilities, it can have more than one power. The ferret also cannot be anything more than your average run-of-the-mill, non-command-understanding ferret.

I know this is a bit obvious, but please list her being mortal as a weakness.
 
Elm Elm I really like this character concept, I have a few notes if you'll permit:

I am capping your character’s size to horse-sized.

I am imposing another physical weakness on your character in the form of the ‘hoshi no tama’ or ‘star ball’, which is a pearl containing his soul and the source of his power. He must carry it on his person at all times. If it is stolen, he is left powerless and must recover it in three days or he will die.

Personality is a bit lacking, what makes him mad, what gets him excited. What is he invested in? I want hints for good interaction here.

Please explain why your character answered the call. You don’t make it believable that this would be something he’d want to do in his personality or bio.
 
sox sox

Please remove some of those pics or put them in a spoiler, I only want to see one.

Define the curses, at least the most powerful curse. I need a good example of what your character can do. Also describe these ‘unprecedented effects’ as this is far too vague for me to accept.

Abilities that control the mind are tricky because you absolutely cannot use them on other players without the players cooperating. Often, they will not want to. Are you sure you want to try to get through the obstacles for these powers?

I am vetoing the contact spirits power.

Please add why she answered Jophiel’s call to help.
 
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SilverFlight said:
monochromegalaxy monochromegalaxy

Your voice jumps between past and present tense throughout the bio, please correct this to past tense only.

Your character is too powerful in that she has too many skills. The sword or the magic powers must go. I also said you could have one demon to summon. If you want to keep the mage powers or the sword then please pick one demon and outline its abilities, it can have more than one power. The ferret also cannot be anything more than your average run-of-the-mill, non-command-understanding ferret.

I know this is a bit obvious, but please list her being mortal as a weakness.
Click to expand...
Will do! I'll get it fixed up in a few. Sorry 'bout that.
 
SilverFlight said:
sox sox

Please remove some of those pics or put them in a spoiler, I only want to see one.

Define the curses, at least the most powerful curse. I need a good example of what your character can do. Also describe these ‘unprecedented effects’ as this is far too vague for me to accept.

Abilities that control the mind are tricky because you absolutely cannot use them on other players without the players cooperating. Often, they will not want to. Are you sure you want to try to get through the obstacles for these powers?

I am vetoing the contact spirits power.

Please add why she answered Jophiel’s call to help.
Click to expand...
I've edited the CS, so please let me know if there's anything else I should change. As for the mental abilities, I primarily planned on using that with NPCs. If there comes a time where she uses it on another character, it would act as a supplement rather than a domination, if that makes sense. They would feel and view whatever she's supplying, but she wouldn't change or control anything that's already there. If this seems like too much to you, I can definitely alter it to be more-so just viewing a flood of mental images, or something that can be deflected with holy methods.
 
SilverFlight SilverFlight All edited! Took me a while to remember the bbcode for tabs but everything should be squared away now! In regards to the Lovecraftian atmosphere, the genre is pretty bleak but the rp doesn't necessarily need to be. I think in any case where the apocalypse is concerned, characters holding onto hope and resilience is a struggle they'll have to go through. The only things I'd reeeaaaally say are necessary for incorporating cosmic horror is a sense of scale (either from the perspective of something huge looking down at the protagonists as germs, or a mystery vibe with protagonists getting only faint hints at the larger picture) and bits of creepiness or other people going mad. Grotesqueness is optional :P
 
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Coldpopz said:
SilverFlight SilverFlight All edited! Took me a while to remember the bbcode for tabs but everything should be squared away now! In regards to the Lovecraftian atmosphere, the genre is pretty bleak but the rp doesn't necessarily need to be. I think in any case where the apocalypse is concerned, characters holding onto hope and resilience is a struggle they'll have to go through. The only things I'd reeeaaaally say are necessary for incorporating cosmic horror is a sense of scale (either from the perspective of something huge looking down at the protagonists as germs, or a mystery vibe with protagonists only faint hints at the larger picture) and bits of creepiness or other people going mad. Grotesqueness is optional :P
Click to expand...
Looks good. Character accepted.
 
So, what sort of adventures would you like to see in here?
I've started developing your first arc. This will be fairly short, an intro arc with not much personalized beyond the battles, just to see who sticks. After that I'd love to run some more specific arcs if you all are up for it.
 
SilverFlight said:
So, what sort of adventures would you like to see in here?
I've started developing your first arc. This will be fairly short, an intro arc with not much personalized beyond the battles, just to see who sticks. After that I'd love to run some more specific arcs if you all are up for it.
Click to expand...
If you’ve read the books, following something similar to the plot of the Penryn & the End of Days trilogy could be tons of fun. If you haven’t, you could always find summaries online for the trilogy.
 
Lioness075 said:
If you’ve read the books, following something similar to the plot of the Penryn & the End of Days trilogy could be tons of fun. If you haven’t, you could always find summaries online for the trilogy.
Click to expand...
Or, you could describe the elements you like about it and would like to see in the thread :P
 
SilverFlight said:
Or, you could describe the elements you like about it and would like to see in the thread :P
Click to expand...
I can’t describe an entire trilogy to you. XD There are countless elements I’d suggest and I can’t even begin to think of every single one without overlooking something. I love everything about those books. Reading summaries would be the quickest and most efficient method. :/
 
I tend to envision roleplays as movies to gauge if the premise would work in my opinion. For this, I imagine something upon the lines of a greatly expanded Wicked City, BUT thankfully without a boatload of bizarre explicit content that seriously weighed down the story and left me saying “what the hell did I just watch” and “what was the point?”
 
SilverFlight SilverFlight Ima be as specific as I can:

1. Perspective-wise, I think a universe like this would be great for a mystery tone. While we uncover the main plot that's relevant to us, each discovery hints at a larger world but doesn't elaborate on it at all. Great examples are Subnautica (what the heck are the aliens), Stranger Things s1 (how big is the Upside Down and what's the full extent of its ecosystem), Lost, or any story that has ancient long-dead civilizations that are more advanced than us. These are each great at turning answers into even bigger questions, and dropping subtle, barethread hints that create a huge world but avoid "worldbuilding."

2. Other dimensions / realms. Ancient cultures like the Greeks were terrified of the wilderness because they believed it was very easy to slip into entirely different worlds. Whether fantastical or bleak, they each usually have a dark undertone. Imagine how many parallel realities we could find ourselves in, each with their own way of being truly terrifying under the surface.

3. Mysterious forces. Like the mystery tone, these things are unexplained but very present, the difference being that they have a direct influence on the protagonists instead of being a backdrop. Maybe one could be a wise, guiding voice, and another could be the worst parts of solipsism and human dread. Are they the last of some all-powerful kind? Who knows.

4. Clever plays on real-world phenomenon. Do young people really die of random cardiac arrest? Just how crazy are the clinically insane?

5. Turning strengths into weaknesses that must be overcome. A more contemporary style of character development that, instead of following the hero's journey, starts out with the hero already having their strengths and weaknesses affirmed. However, this strength slowly becomes a weakness that must be overcome. The best examples I can think of are superhero movies. Captain America's trademark loyalty to his country had to be conquered in favor of loyalty to his friends. Thor's immense strength and godhood made him believe that fate will always have him win, and in believing he would, he became cocky enough to not kill Thanos right away. We all know how that went. What made Logan so physically indestructible ended up actually poisoning him (he was unable to overcome it and died as a result). I think when starting with heroes that don't need to be built up, this is the most genuine character development. Since it's a team rp, tailoring scenarios that turn everyone's strengths into weaknesses may be difficult but would be very rewarding.

PS: Can I change Rachel's name into Impala? Please? Pretty please?
 
Coldpopz said:
SilverFlight SilverFlight Ima be as specific as I can:

1. Perspective-wise, I think a universe like this would be great for a mystery tone. While we uncover the main plot that's relevant to us, each discovery hints at a larger world but doesn't elaborate on it at all. Great examples are Subnautica (what the heck are the aliens), Stranger Things s1 (how big is the Upside Down and what's the full extent of its ecosystem), Lost, or any story that has ancient long-dead civilizations that are more advanced than us. These are each great at turning answers into even bigger questions, and dropping subtle, barethread hints that create a huge world but avoid "worldbuilding."

2. Other dimensions / realms. Ancient cultures like the Greeks were terrified of the wilderness because they believed it was very easy to slip into entirely different worlds. Whether fantastical or bleak, they each usually have a dark undertone. Imagine how many parallel realities we could find ourselves in, each with their own way of being truly terrifying under the surface.

3. Mysterious forces. Like the mystery tone, these things are unexplained but very present, the difference being that they have a direct influence on the protagonists instead of being a backdrop. Maybe one could be a wise, guiding voice, and another could be the worst parts of solipsism and human dread. Are they the last of some all-powerful kind? Who knows.

4. Clever plays on real-world phenomenon. Do young people really die of random cardiac arrest? Just how crazy are the clinically insane?

5. Turning strengths into weaknesses that must be overcome. A more contemporary style of character development that, instead of following the hero's journey, starts out with the hero already having their strengths and weaknesses affirmed. However, this strength slowly becomes a weakness that must be overcome. The best examples I can think of are superhero movies. Captain America's trademark loyalty to his country had to be conquered in favor of loyalty to his friends. Thor's immense strength and godhood made him believe that fate will always have him win, and in believing he would, he became cocky enough to not kill Thanos right away. We all know how that went. What made Logan so physically indestructible ended up actually poisoning him (he was unable to overcome it and died as a result). I think when starting with heroes that don't need to be built up, this is the most genuine character development. Since it's a team rp, tailoring scenarios that turn everyone's strengths into weaknesses may be difficult but would be very rewarding.

PS: Can I change Rachel's name into Impala? Please? Pretty please?
Click to expand...
That's some very good outlining. You can edit your CS as you see fit as long as it still adheres to the rules.
 
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