Serious help too!

[The Boss]

First, sorry for my bad english.


I'm going to do a game with the follow points. I would like some help of you, guys, to show me possible mistakes, impossibilities or even your ideas.


Here they are:


- The Makers was Destroyed with that Eye of Tumult thing, aparently


- Pieces of Autochtonia began to appear in Creation. Example: What once was a big mountain, now have a whole factory inside of it.


- With those things, some normal humans now gain acess to potent artifacts. So, they became badass and now can be a pain, if they can understand how to use those thhings.


- Rumors about a crystal shard that can teach how to create your own Exalted, began to spread. So, guess what? Everyone is behind that thing. (this is the main plot).


- A Heroic Mortal, with some really kick ass artifact (don't know really what, but i was thinking some that can change mortals to heroic mortals if they pass some trials, or give enlightment, don't know) is gathering minor gods, humans, elementals and demons (thanks Oadenol's Codex) and is trying to raise a new nation. With NO Exalted on this. A Circle of Siderals is behind this guy. THe Heroic Mortal say "For years those damn Exalted kicked us, now is time to kick'em back".


- Solars are gathering and begin to draw what can be a New Solar Deliberative.


- Abyssals began a process of treaties with the Fair Folk.


As you guys can see, the theme is Struggle. I have been influenced a lot by Final Fantasy Tactics, as this game have battles and social in the right measure. I like a lot epic things and want to give a big piece of this, since my player like this theme too.


But, as you guys can see too, the whole idea is too raw.


So, any help, idea, opinions or anything is fine!


Thanks!

 

[Vanman]

First' date=' sorry for my bad english.[/quote']
No apologies necessary, my friend. I'm assuming it's not your first language. You're doing much better than I would be doing speaking your language.


:-)

I'm going to do a game with the follow points. I would like some help of you, guys, to show me possible mistakes, impossibilities or even your ideas.
Here they are:

- The Makers was Destroyed with that Eye of Tumult thing' date=' aparently[/quote']
By the Makers, do you mean the Primordials? And when you say the Eye of Tumult, do you mean the Eye of Autochthon? And what effect does this have on your story?

- Pieces of Autochtonia began to appear in Creation. Example: What once was a big mountain' date=' now have a whole factory inside of it.[/quote']
Again, how does this play into your story? Will this be a staging area for Alchemical Exalted? Is it a factoy cathedral? How does it impact on the PCs?

- With those things, some normal humans now gain acess to potent artifacts. So, they became badass and now can be a pain, if they can understand how to use those thhings.
- Rumors about a crystal shard that can teach how to create your own Exalted, began to spread. So, guess what? Everyone is behind that thing. (this is the main plot).

So can they create their own Exalted? Or are these new Exalted really Alchemicals? If they are a new Exalted type, what's the rationale behind it? And do you have write ups for this?

- A Heroic Mortal' date=' with some really kick ass artifact (don't know really what, but i was thinking some that can change mortals to heroic mortals if they pass some trials, or give enlightment, don't know) is gathering minor gods, humans, elementals and demons (thanks Oadenol's Codex) and is trying to raise a new nation. With NO Exalted on this. A Circle of Siderals is behind this guy. THe Heroic Mortal say "For years those damn Exalted kicked us, now is time to kick'em back".[/quote']
Why do you need an artifact to make a mortal into a Heroic Mortal? Is this really necessary? And will he be a main protagonist? An ally? Or just a stumbling block? Again, I'm not sure how this plays into your story.

- Solars are gathering and begin to draw what can be a New Solar Deliberative.
- Abyssals began a process of treaties with the Fair Folk.

What are your PCs? Solars? Abyssals? DBs? Lunars? A mixed circle? And how do these last two points (wiat for it.......) affect your story?


:-)

As you guys can see, the theme is Struggle. I have been influenced a lot by Final Fantasy Tactics, as this game have battles and social in the right measure. I like a lot epic things and want to give a big piece of this, since my player like this theme too.
But, as you guys can see too, the whole idea is too raw.


So, any help, idea, opinions or anything is fine!


Thanks!

I think it will help you (and us) if you can give a few more details about what you're trying to accomplish with the story, as well as more details about the characters. The information you've given is a bit too broad for me to be able to give any real suggestions. If you can narrow it a bit, then I should be able to help a bit more.......

 

[The Boss]

By the Makers, do you mean the Primordials? And when you say the Eye of Tumult, do you mean the Eye of Autochthon? And what effect does this have on your story? [/quote
Time of Tumult! How this affect? With the destruction of Autochtonia and then with "parts" of Autochtonia appearing in the Creation. As well with their people.

Again, how does this play into your story? Will this be a staging area for Alchemical Exalted? Is it a factoy cathedral? How does it impact on the PCs?

The Alchemicals will be at the edge, since they don't have their factorys anymore, nor vaults or everything that could help their maintenance. At first they don't have a crucial role in the history, for they will be too scattered and lost to do something really great. It will affect the PC in some ways. First, humans will put their hands on Autochtonia Technology, so, places in the Creation will begin to desenvolve their own technology. Second, the Environment and, by consequence, the own natural balance. And third, antagonist who get their hands on nasty technology and point'em to PCs.

So can they create their own Exalted? Or are these new Exalted really Alchemicals? If they are a new Exalted type, what's the rationale behind it? And do you have write ups for this?

This Shard is a fragment of the Maker, a small piece of his lore that he passed down the gods, so they could create Solars, DBs and all that things. Of course, the thing looks easy on theory, what would be hardly the same on practice, since I assume that to create his own Exalted the being would need to have lot of power.

Why do you need an artifact to make a mortal into a Heroic Mortal? Is this really necessary? And will he be a main protagonist? An ally? Or just a stumbling block? Again, I'm not sure how this plays into your story.

To show humans "evolving". That's is the theme of this nation. They always had Exalted telling they what to do and now they found a way to evolve alone, through a rigid way of discipline and all. This Heroic Mortal will be a Antagonist, since the players will be Exalted.

What are your PCs? Solars? Abyssals? DBs? Lunars? A mixed circle? And how do these last two points (wiat for it.......) affect your story?

I'll allow Solars, Dbs and Lunars. They affect in create a feeling of urgency and threat, since in one side you have a bunch of mad heroes getting stronger and at the other side, a bunch of ghosts and their champions did a Alliance with other mad creatures and want to destroy everything. They player should, in the process of the game, decide in wich side they will go.


As you can see I'm going to do the game in differents "front". This will not be a problem because the game will be played on internet, so I can deal with too many players in different places.


The idea is to have different powers, fighting against each other, at first, and then going to fight with one thing in focus. The players will be in the midle of all this conflict, in the battlefield, in the courts, trying to do treaties, aliances, stealth and all those things full of testosterona.


Btw, really thanks for your post here, even with my so confusing idea. Is a little raw cuz i was thinking about the history and then i get the raw idea and had to write it. And since I always come here to see the opinion of people who stay frequent here, as you guys know lot more than me.


Anyway, thanks again!

 

[Persell]

Uh... I must say that is the first time I see someone using the alchemicals in a cool way. So Autochton is dead and his corpse reappearing in creation? Definitely a nice idea.


What exactly do you need help with?

 

[Sherwood]

From what I remember from the Autocthon book, one of the possible senarios they provide is 'what happens if Auto dies?'.  In that, he manifests in the Labyrinth with the rest of the Malfians.  Personally, I like the change in having parts of the Maker overwrite Creation.  You could define it like, say, Gaia trying to protect and preserve the only other free Primordial from falling into the Underworld, and so has sacrificed parts of Creation to help support him and give him enough Essence to slowly start to pull himself back together again.

 

[The Boss]

Uh... I must say that is the first time I see someone using the alchemicals in a cool way. So Autochton is dead and his corpse reappearing in creation? Definitely a nice idea.
What exactly do you need help with?[/quote


Really thanks, buddy! Nice to see that you guys liked the idea of Autochton!


And well, only with your opinions, questions to help to make the plot more reasonable and consistent (as vanman did) is already a great help!

From what I remember from the Autocthon book, one of the possible senarios they provide is 'what happens if Auto dies?'.  In that, he manifests in the Labyrinth with the rest of the Malfians.  Personally, I like the change in having parts of the Maker overwrite Creation.  You could define it like, say, Gaia trying to protect and preserve the only other free Primordial from falling into the Underworld, and so has sacrificed parts of Creation to help support him and give him enough Essence to slowly start to pull himself back together again.

Great idea! What make's me think in a role to the Lunars. Since Gaia had a close relationship with Luna and She is now trying to protect Autochtonia, maybe she could influence Luna to send a message to her Chosen to Protect the Childrens of Autochtonia. Lunar would began to fight to protect'em and even, without notice, start to build a new realm for the Autochtonia. What could be a new hook, as the Maker would wake up on the process and try to seize Creatin.


What do you guys think?

 

[Persell]

Hmm this idea is quite cool actually.  Kudos


The Lunars are pressed in their duties to defend Gaia and the borders of Creation.  They could not really stand to protect something just as awesome in scope.