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Fantasy 一一 願望𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐦. ︑𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴








  • SHION MATSUHARA





coded by weldherwings.


Name | Matsuhara, Shion
Nickname | None
Occupation | Part time transcriptor and college student
Age | 19
Birthday | December 15th
Gender | Male
Orientation | Asexual
Height | 160 cm / 5'3"
Weight | 43 kg / 95 lbs
Blood type | AB-
Hair color | Naturally black, but he likes dyeing it; currently white
Eye color | Ice blue
Miscellaneous | He has several piercings in both ears
Personality | Despite his lack of voice, Shion is still very expressive, and finds many ways to be so. He enjoys the company of others, even if communication is sometimes a challenge, and is considered extroverted by default. Before he lost his voice, he was always talking, and even now, he still is, always moving his hands when he signs— or his facial expressions conveying his thoughts well enough. He's a caring individual, paying attention to the people around him and their needs, and although he doesn't always realize it, this makes him seem a bit like a mother hen.

He is extremely perceptive to body language, both positive and negative. This stems from multiple things, but the main fact is that it's a silent way of communication, and he's all about things that are nonverbal. He chooses to be an optimist, trying to see things from a positive perspective, even when things continue to get worse for him. He's an energetic individual, having bounds of energy, even when his sleep schedule should say otherwise. He's hardworking, believing the saying that "nothing worth having comes easy", and choosing to try to live by that. He's the king of talking a lot, whilst saying absolutely nothing at all. Most people only know surface level aspects of him, the things that he wants to show the world. Even still, many don't realize that they actually know very little about Shion, and this is the way he'd like to keep it. The first person to know him in his entirety, made it blow up in his face, and it's something that he never wants to have to regret again.

He is quite smart, though he chooses not to show it, liking to be underestimated by those around him. A lot of people think he's dumb because he's mute, and although quite annoying, it's something he's gotten used to, and he's learned early on that it can sometimes be beneficial.

Although there's quite a bit of good that he shows to the people around him, Shion would say that he hides twice as much bad. He chooses to be an optimist outwardly, and yet his actual thoughts are those of cynicism and pessimism. He's an untrusting individual, choosing to rely on himself rather than others. Putting trust in others to do something that benefits him is almost always guaranteed to end poorly, at least in his mind. Because he doesn't let anyone close to him anymore, there is no one there to prove him wrong either.

Shion is stubborn in his beliefs, not wanting to change them for anything. In addition to his boundless supply of energy, comes the equally boundless supply of restlessness. Shion is always moving. Always. It annoys him just as much as it annoys everyone else, to the point where he's taken to keeping a fidget toy on him at all times. His way with words may seem nice at first glance, but if one looks into them, they'll see that often times they're hiding quite a bit of insults. It's just his way of being petty without making everyone angry at him all the time. His poorly concealed lack of self worth takes the form of a lot of self deprecating jokes, saying he wants to make them before someone else gets the chance to.

Another huge thing he likes to hide is the fact that he doesn't eat in front of anyone, ever. Similarly, he also doesn't eat if someone else had made the food, or even touched it. Some say it's because he's a germaphobe, and he goes along with that, others say it's because he likes to "pig out" in privacy, which he also doesn't disagree with. After all, the truth of the matter isn't something that he ever actually plans on sharing.
Likes | Blues and purples, cats, snow, thunderstorms, movies, learning more sign languages, sweet foods, photography, dyeing his hair
Dislikes | His mother, ghosts, spicy foods, people who think he's lesser, small spaces, insects
Fears | His mother, ghosts, never being able to speak again
Background | Shion always knew that his life wasn't... quite like other kids. Firstly, unlike the other kids in his neighborhood, Shion didn't have a dad. He never did. Once, he asked his mother what had happened to his father, and she refused to answer him. When he asked again, she got angry and began to yell at him, causing him to simply retreat outside to the neighborhood playground. Another thing that initially struck him as odd was that he spent most of his childhood sick, and with his mother refusing to take him to doctors, he had no idea what was wrong with him. He was too young to understand, after all. At the age of five, his teachers thought that he might have to be held back a grade, because of all the school he'd ended up missing. When they brought this up with his mom, she became angry and even a little disappointed for some reason. Miraculously though, he wasn't sick for the rest of the year, and was able to graduate with his peers.

It was when he was around seven that he realized it was certain foods that were making him sick. So, he simply stopped eating those foods. For about a month, he was as healthy as any other seven year old, before another batch of foods began to make him sick. By the time he had narrowed it down, the only things that didn't have him throwing up hours after was the cafeteria food served at school. So that began to be the only thing he ate. He still didn't understand why this was the case though, and assumed he had an extreme allergy to something at home. It wasn't until he was ten that he knew.

In school, he was known as a bit of a class clown, something that his teachers had berated him for multiple times. He found that he couldn't help it though, he liked talking, and his classes were boring. Besides, his classmates thought he was funny enough, and even if they didn't, he at least made himself laugh. That was enough for him. He didn't do anything to cease his ramblings, and eventually, when he was eight, his teachers brought it up with his mom. That was when things really went... downhill. He didn't think he'd ever been yelled at so much in his life, nor so embarrassed. Half of the yelling had taken place whilst he was still at school, after all. He'd also never been so sick, having spent two weeks out of school with a fever and stomach bug that almost killed him.

After that incident, he toned down on the talking in class, much to the relief of his teachers. His grades had always been almost smack in the middle of his class, as despite knowing the material to the extent of being bored having to relearn it, Shion hated having to sit still to complete work. It felt like a nightmare to him, and was a nightmare for his teachers. As a result, he only ever got about half of his homework done at any given time, and eventually it just became part of the norm.

If asked when things in his life began going wrong, Shion would always say when he was ten. This was the age when he found out why he was sick all the time. It had been by compete accident, of course. If he could, he'd go back in time to make sure that he'd never seen anything that day. His mother had always been rather stingy about her kitchen and the makings of it, and so Shion had always stayed out of it, letting her do her thing. It was the one time that he didn't, that he came down for dinner just a tad too early, that he saw it. His mother had her back turned to him, so she never saw him watch as she slipped something out of her pocket and add it to his plate of food, and only his plate of food. Now, being ten years old, he didn't want to think much of it, so he still ate dinner like normal, with several questions that he pushed to the back of his mind. His mother had never liked him asking too many questions.

That night as he laid awake puking his guts out, he also cried, as he realized that he had never been the sick one, it had been his mother all along.

Things began to click after that, and he stopped eating at home altogether, even the packaged snacks that sometimes made him "sick" but mostly hadn't. The cafeteria at school was the only place he ate, and even then he was wary. For an entire year he was paranoid that everyone was trying to poison him, and eventually when he eleven, he was hospitalized because he became too underweight, and he confessed everything to a nurse. Immediately an investigation took place, and he was even put in a foster home for about a month until the case had been solved. That month was the happiest of his life, because he didn't get sick once.

Eventually though, the police determined that there wasn't enough evidence, and they sent him back to live with his mother, who was absolutely livid. They moved to another town to avoid rumors. In the process, his mother doled out his punishment, and by the time she was through, not only did she make sure that he wouldn't tell anyone else what she had done, she also made it impossible to tell anyone anything again. He'd lost his voice, and his mother had been the one to take it.

During his high school years, he began plotting to get away. If the authorities weren't going to help him, he'd help himself. He no longer ate at home, and although his mother still kept trying to poison him, the times he got sick were few and far in between. His grades began to go up as he applied himself, as he knew that it wouldn't be on money alone that he would be able to get away from her. He established better habits, developed hobbies that would help him later on, and even tutored the few kids in his class that weren't annoyed by the fact that he couldn't speak. He'd have to hope for a scholarship, even only half of one. His mother was a single parent, and although they lived rather comfortably, it meant that there was often not that much extra money to spend. Even if there was, he wouldn't want to have to pay the price of asking for her help.

Somehow, he made it through high school with a scholarship that would pay for more than half of his college tuition, and moved several cities away from his mother. The damage didn't go away, but he at least didn't have to worry about any more befalling him.
Relationships | To be added
 
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