Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: War Of Zodarus

Riolux

Umbreon? More like DUMBreon!
  • Plot

    For several millennium, The Legendary Pokemon of Zodarus has lived in relative peace under the leadership of the Alpha Pokemon, Arceus, who was the proverbial glue that kept together Pokemon that would otherwise hate each other. With power and wisdom, Arceus kept the Legendary Pokemon in line, preventing any large-scale conflict from arising. However, things have changed. Arceus has gone missing. After months of awaiting any news from the Alpha Pokemon, some of the Legendary Pokemon have started plans to make a grab for power, either wanting to rule, or to rule so that those they deem irresponsible cannot. However despite their haste to grab power, they realize a folly. An all-out battle between all of the participating Legendary Pokemon would cause the end of the world in its entirety. Therefore, wishing to keep this battle from bringing upon an apocalypse on those they wish to rule, they have brought those from another dimension, Humans, and have turned them into Pokemon, bound to their service with the reward being that they have the option to return home along with the return of their memories. The once-human Pokemon are usually selected for their personality and views on life or history. However, there are four who believe that Arceus is testing them and have chosen a small group of Humans to aid them in keeping the balance.


    As a Renegade Servant or Renegade Follower, you have left your faction for various reasons(disillusioned by your faction's goals, fear of war, hatred of your faction's Legendary Pokemon, etc.) and have fled to Zodiac City, a large central trading hub in the middle of Zodarus that resembles Venice during the Renaissance(grand architecture, but relatively low tech) and are resting at the Dancing Spinda, the cheapest place you could afford to stay at.





Appreciate any feedback and advice on this Roleplay as well as a solution to figure out the prerequisites of being able to play a Chosen OC. This is still a work in progress and I appreciate any advice on how this can be improved upon though I do feel that this is a pretty good start.
 
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Is this what you're struggling with? I can give you some simple feedback.


This is very deep. I see you put a lot of thought into it. If I were into Pokemon, I would think about joining this. What you want to focus on, is how you are going to make this a Role-play. I see you have the idea for the plot, but can you get a little more specific? All it says, is that the different Pokemon groups are going to battle. Is it going to be an adventure RP where players move around? Is it going to be an arena RP like the Pokemon League? Will it be a mix of both?


You need to add a little more to that plot. An example would be this:


The legendary Pokemon leaders are captured. Their followers/servants must go on a journey to free them. <----This tells players they are going to be freeing the Pokemon leaders while going on a journey. It does not say what's going to happen, but it tells players what they will be doing. If you have a question, let me know
 
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[QUOTE="White Masquerade]Is this what you're struggling with? I can give you some simple feedback.
This is very deep. I see you put a lot of thought into it. If I were into Pokemon, I would think about joining this. What you want to focus on, is how you are going to make this a Role-play. I see you have the idea for the plot, but can you get a little more specific? All it says, is that the different Pokemon groups are going to battle. Is it going to be an adventure RP where players move around? Is it going to be an arena RP like the Pokemon League? Will it be a mix of both?


You need to add a little more to that plot. An example would be this:


The legendary Pokemon leaders are captured. Their followers/servants must go on a journey to free them. <----This tells players they are going to be freeing the Pokemon leaders while going on a journey. It does not say what's going to happen, but it tells players what they will be doing. If you have a question, let me know

[/QUOTE]
I definitely see what you mean there. It defines the world and what is going on, but it fails to describe the Roleplayer's purpose throughout the adventure, right?
 
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[QUOTE="White Masquerade]YES! YES! That is exactly what I'm saying ( :) )

[/QUOTE]
Hmm y'know originally I was gonna make it so that each RPer was working to improve their faction's dominion, but I think I had a better idea thanks to you.
 
No problem! Go with the idea you feel best. Whenever you're done, the last thing I would ask for you to do is, Proof-Roleplay.


Ever had a time where you typed up a post, thought it was the best thing ever...then realize you misspelled 20 words or forgot to reply to somebody? This is just like that.


Play your own role-play.You are going to find some things that don't make sense or could be done better. Keep playing your role-play, until it feels right to you. You will know how it works before other people start jumping in, so if they have any questions, you will already know the answer, or know how to find the answer.


^ Please, please do this. (^.^) It will help you A LOT. Once you start playing, I think these questions are going to pop up for you:


"Oh, where do the characters start anyway?"


"Oh, do the boss Pokemon have their own personalities?"


"Wait, how are battles going to work?"


"Okay. So I finished getting to this place. Where are the characters supposed to go next?"


Proof-roleplaying, lets you know what other people see. If I was in your RP, it would give you a good idea of the problems I see or the questions I'm going to ask. If YOU don't understand something about your own role-play, it's going to be worse for other people.
 
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[QUOTE="White Masquerade]No problem! Go with the idea you feel best. Whenever you're done, the last thing I would ask for you to do is, Proof-Roleplay.
Ever had a time where you typed up a post, thought it was the best thing ever...then realize you misspelled 20 words or forgot to reply to somebody? This is just like that.


Play your own role-play.You are going to find some things that don't make sense or could be done better. Keep playing your role-play, until it feels right to you. You will know how it works before other people start jumping in, so if they have any questions, you will already know the answer, or know how to find the answer.


^ Please, please do this. (^.^) It will help you A LOT. Once you start playing, I think these questions are going to pop up for you:


"Oh, where do the characters start anyway?"


"Oh, do the boss Pokemon have their own personalities?"


"Wait, how are battles going to work?"


"Okay. So I finished getting to this place. Where are the characters supposed to go next?"


Proof-roleplaying, lets you know what other people see. If I was in your RP, it would give you a good idea of the problems I see or the questions I'm going to ask. If YOU don't understand something about your own role-play, it's going to be worse for other people.

[/QUOTE]
Thank you for taking the time to give me feedback and I will most certainly take your advice to heart.
 

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