Poetry Poetry and Junk

[CM-Colorless]

I like to write, much like I imagine most people who visit this kind of site would. I also like to get criticism and advice on my writing so I guess this is a thread where I'd like to post some of my work to have you enjoy it, or hate it, and help me improve.


I don't have much to share right now, but I just wrote this earlier tonight and I'm looking to expand it beyond just the one stanza but I'm not quite sure where to take it so any help with that would be appreciated.

Whip of wind which bends the willow
Holl'ring howl and thund'ring bellow.


Ogre moans and mountain Dwerrow


All are like a mourning fellow.

 

[Hatchet]

Seems like the acute little rhyme a laymen might remember out of a great wash of words and eventually no one will know the source, only the familiar rhyme, like Mary, Mary, quite contrary. You're depicting weather imagery in the first two lines, and then mythical creatures in the third as comparison to the subject of the fourth. I'd suggest picking an alternative for line two so you have weather, something, creature, subject.