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Metaditon

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Few poems ive done i`d update here when ive made more and wish to spread them. <strong><span>First One- Made 2day 3/5/09</span></strong> </p>


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<div class="ipsQuote_contents"><p><strong><em><span>The English Breakfast --------------------- eggs fried as bright as the sun running all over your plate White as the sky on a sunny day ( White as snow on a sunny winters day ) all colours on your plate tomato as dark and light as pure blood the juice of the tomato will cause a flood you can not tell a difference of blood and tomatoes all colours on your plate bacon fried, crispy the bacon is no wispy it is just pure good pig meat all colours on your plate hash with bread crumbs potato inside goodness crumbs with all the fulliness all colours on your plate!</span></em></strong> </p></div>


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<p> <strong><em><span>Second one - made 5/4/09</span></em></strong> </p>


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<div class="ipsQuote_contents"><p><strong><em><span style="color:#FF0000;"> Mind Control ----------- Its like a Bullet shot from a gun Nightmare which you can not control Once its out its done You can not stop it Mind dies you mentally die Heart dies you physically die One runs doing one runs your life Life can be taken away in a second</span></em></strong> </p></div>


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<div class="ipsQuote_contents"><p> <span>The darkness is like side of a bullet Darkness eats up your life Sylar, the killer, the darkness The darkness destroys you and others around you The darkness can kill without even touching you It kills with using your mind The darkness is can also be called telekinesis The telekinesis can slice the head open Which gives you your death?</span> <span> The Darkness Darkness controls your brain Sylar eats the brains of specials Specials of which have other powers These people whom have these powers Are to stop this “Sylar” He was in the dark Now he’s out </span> </p></div>


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<p> Will update when think of more. I have made some others but dont want them to be taken from me due to they are good and some others no only i have seen them. if i edit i`d put the edit in ( ) the brackets and next to the thing i have edited.


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Pretty nice. Though this is not a critic, just a tip; I see a logic mistake in the first one:

White as the sky on a sunny day
Afaik the sky is blue on a sunny day.


I don't know if this fits, but I just figured this could be better with white:

White as snow on a sunny winter day
 
thanks guys :D


MV


yeah that sounds better thanks :P


gonna edit it but keep original then all can see update as well
 
just a quick post telling you all that i have added 3rd poem


that the people in the chat i was saying i would get the poem from school this it is


made it in year 9 UK year.
 
Pretty neat. Though I can't recognize myself in it, seeing as I feel safe and home in the dark.
 

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