Daisie
Seared with story
You're likely reading this because you want to be better than you are. And because you want to be better than you are, there's some part of you that believes you deserve better than you're getting. I agree with that part, and so do the rest of us. Welcome!
The DSM-V, of which I have in my lap at the moment, roughly describes Major Depressive Disorder as exhibiting five or more of these symptoms: Sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness during the day; markedly diminished interest or pleasure in activities; significant weight loss or gain when not dieting; insomnia or hypersomnia; restlessness or slowness in movements; fatigue and loss of energy; feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt; diminished concentration; recurrent thoughts of death and/or suicidal ideation.
But depression as a word is generally defined as a low-energy, melancholic emotional state. This can be experienced by anyone at any time, with or without a disorder in play. Everyone experiences depression, and whether you struggle with it chronically or are just looking for some relief for an afternoon, we can all agree that we want out.
So this is a thread where we get back to the basics. There's no one curriculum to cure depression universally, but generally I've found it helps to start at the bottom and work our way up - essentially just taking a long, hard look at Maslow's Hierarchy of needs and seeing what we can do to improve our state of from a fundemental perspective.
Please keep in mind that this thread is not a venting space. I'm not against venting at all! I think if you don't already, you should have a space to vent your frustrations and express yourself without fear of repercussions. But this thread is what comes after the venting: it's about starting the crawl upwards again. If we're going to talk about self-hate or self-harm here, it needs to either be about how we have improved, or how we plan to improve despite our shortcomings.
This is also a place for nothing short of complete humility. You could be a wealthy CEO or you could be flipping burgers and staring down homelessness - you are still flesh and blood, subject to the same biological chemicals that drive the rest of us. Your life is exactly as philosophically important as the rest of ours, and your victories have the same meaning, so please share and commemorate them.
So I'll start!
Recently, I upped my dosage on my depression meds. I'm a little skeptical as to if it's ultimately doing me good, but if it is, then I'm content with that. And if it isn't, then I'm content with going and trying something else. That's more than I could say for where I was this time last year: completely unconvinced that medication or therapy was worth anything to me. That's a victory I'm not taking for granted.
This month I've put significant effort into cleaning my room. It's not perfect yet but it's leagues better than it was at the beginning of the month - I have surfaces I can use now that I couldn't before, and I have a clean closet to get into. It was emotionally draining just working on it an hour or so every weekday as I have some minor hoarding habits to overcome, but it was a significant step in the right direction. I've quit cleaning my room, but I hope to continue it at some point, after some other more pressing projects are dealt with.
As of the past few days, I've been slowly trying to pick away at my screentime habits, with varying amounts of success. I'm not concerned about my computer time (time on the desktop is generally productive), but I really would like to work my phone time down. It's not gone great, but I've done some very, very minor changes to fill my time with other things, like disallowing certain social medias on one day of the week. I figure I have 168 hours in every week, there are some things I can stand to stay away from for 24 of them.
I put in half my laundry today, and I cleaned out my rabbit's litter box after it'd been sitting for too long. I haven't done that litter box on time in ages, but this time I left it for a little less, and that's a win too.
I'm fighting against my instinct to unhealthily fixate on one or two things at a time. It isn't good for me when one subject is dominating my thoughts for hours every day. I don't know how well I'm doing at that, but I am trying. I wasn't even trying, before.
And last, I have had a goal to do some scripture study, and yesterday was the first time I've sat down and done that in ages. It wasn't for long, and I'm ashamed to say I pretty much went on YouTube to browse and waste time directly after, but that is still much more than I've been able to do for a very, very long time. It did bring me a lot of peace, and I feel like today has started off better for it.
What about you? Do you have any recent victories behind you, or goals ahead of you?
The DSM-V, of which I have in my lap at the moment, roughly describes Major Depressive Disorder as exhibiting five or more of these symptoms: Sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness during the day; markedly diminished interest or pleasure in activities; significant weight loss or gain when not dieting; insomnia or hypersomnia; restlessness or slowness in movements; fatigue and loss of energy; feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt; diminished concentration; recurrent thoughts of death and/or suicidal ideation.
But depression as a word is generally defined as a low-energy, melancholic emotional state. This can be experienced by anyone at any time, with or without a disorder in play. Everyone experiences depression, and whether you struggle with it chronically or are just looking for some relief for an afternoon, we can all agree that we want out.
So this is a thread where we get back to the basics. There's no one curriculum to cure depression universally, but generally I've found it helps to start at the bottom and work our way up - essentially just taking a long, hard look at Maslow's Hierarchy of needs and seeing what we can do to improve our state of from a fundemental perspective.
Please keep in mind that this thread is not a venting space. I'm not against venting at all! I think if you don't already, you should have a space to vent your frustrations and express yourself without fear of repercussions. But this thread is what comes after the venting: it's about starting the crawl upwards again. If we're going to talk about self-hate or self-harm here, it needs to either be about how we have improved, or how we plan to improve despite our shortcomings.
This is also a place for nothing short of complete humility. You could be a wealthy CEO or you could be flipping burgers and staring down homelessness - you are still flesh and blood, subject to the same biological chemicals that drive the rest of us. Your life is exactly as philosophically important as the rest of ours, and your victories have the same meaning, so please share and commemorate them.
So I'll start!
Recently, I upped my dosage on my depression meds. I'm a little skeptical as to if it's ultimately doing me good, but if it is, then I'm content with that. And if it isn't, then I'm content with going and trying something else. That's more than I could say for where I was this time last year: completely unconvinced that medication or therapy was worth anything to me. That's a victory I'm not taking for granted.
This month I've put significant effort into cleaning my room. It's not perfect yet but it's leagues better than it was at the beginning of the month - I have surfaces I can use now that I couldn't before, and I have a clean closet to get into. It was emotionally draining just working on it an hour or so every weekday as I have some minor hoarding habits to overcome, but it was a significant step in the right direction. I've quit cleaning my room, but I hope to continue it at some point, after some other more pressing projects are dealt with.
As of the past few days, I've been slowly trying to pick away at my screentime habits, with varying amounts of success. I'm not concerned about my computer time (time on the desktop is generally productive), but I really would like to work my phone time down. It's not gone great, but I've done some very, very minor changes to fill my time with other things, like disallowing certain social medias on one day of the week. I figure I have 168 hours in every week, there are some things I can stand to stay away from for 24 of them.
I put in half my laundry today, and I cleaned out my rabbit's litter box after it'd been sitting for too long. I haven't done that litter box on time in ages, but this time I left it for a little less, and that's a win too.
I'm fighting against my instinct to unhealthily fixate on one or two things at a time. It isn't good for me when one subject is dominating my thoughts for hours every day. I don't know how well I'm doing at that, but I am trying. I wasn't even trying, before.
And last, I have had a goal to do some scripture study, and yesterday was the first time I've sat down and done that in ages. It wasn't for long, and I'm ashamed to say I pretty much went on YouTube to browse and waste time directly after, but that is still much more than I've been able to do for a very, very long time. It did bring me a lot of peace, and I feel like today has started off better for it.
What about you? Do you have any recent victories behind you, or goals ahead of you?
