Sir Raime
King of Celephaïs
Warning: The following account of events has been taken from an entirely biased, unreliable source and should not be taken seriously for any reason whatsoever. Any resemblance to persons alive or dead is completely coincidental. Names have been omitted from this account to maintain confidentiality and anonymity. The purpose of this thread is to inspire noble RPers to create unique "Like a Boss" scenarios.
In this year of our Lord Morgan Freeman, Two Thousand and Fourteen, I saw fit to inscribe upon the Sacred Tablet of Personal Topics an abridged recollection of the numerous trials and tribulations that have shaped me into the wholesome, patient and all-loving fellow I am today. My story is one of a young lad who, throughout his life, approached each task with perseverance and creativity in a style not entirely different from that of a manager. That being said, there is a piece of music that best accompanies this tale.
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In this year of our Lord Morgan Freeman, Two Thousand and Fourteen, I saw fit to inscribe upon the Sacred Tablet of Personal Topics an abridged recollection of the numerous trials and tribulations that have shaped me into the wholesome, patient and all-loving fellow I am today. My story is one of a young lad who, throughout his life, approached each task with perseverance and creativity in a style not entirely different from that of a manager. That being said, there is a piece of music that best accompanies this tale.
http://listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=qlYYqvhhrws#Like_A_Boss_-_The_Lonely_Island_-_Incredibad
It began, I believe, back during an interview with a man who worked for the ████████ and Sons Publishing Company. I remember that day with relative clarity, though I find my memory of the event was a bit muddled. I recall sitting down in a comfortable padded chair -magnificent work of upholstery, that chair - and looking at the man seated across from me, the two of us divided by a particularly lavish mahogany desk. "So," He began, "Mister....World, was it? According to my schedule, you're here to give a pitch for some bold new RP. The real question here is "Can this RP sell?" This day and age, it is more crucial than ever that you snare readers' attentions with a promising summary and intriguing yet easy-to-learn mechanics. If you would, please tell me a bit about yourself that can grab my attention. Entertain me." The interviewer challenged.
I straightened my tie and did my best to suppress a frog in my throat that had been building up since the interview began. I paused for a moment to slowly clench and unclench my hands, feeling the irritatingly warm perspiration that had been building up in my palms. "You see," I started nervously, "I like to think of myself as a guy who has everything under control. I'm in charge and the world knows it. Sometimes there are folks who aren't aware of it, so I have to remind them....I am the boss."
The interviewer leaned forward in his chair, hovering over the wooden desk as he folded his hand together in front of himself. "I see. Please, tell me a bit about the life of 'the boss.' "
This was it. The moment of truth. I grabbed hold of new-found resolve and banished any doubts that lingered in my mind. This pitch would make or break my chances of creating a revolutionary new RP.
"Well, my life is pretty neat. It goes a little something like this:
Origin Story
LIKE A BOSS
Make some money
LIKE A BOSS
Home burns to crap
LIKE A BOSS
Walk it off
LIKE A BOSS
Swallow sadness
LIKE A BOSS
Teleport
LIKE A BOSS
Do some math
LIKE A BOSS
Join the military
LIKE A BOSS
Teleport some more
LIKE A BOSS
Punch an engineer
LIKE A BOSS
Epic brofist
LIKE A BOSS
Have some adventures
LIKE A BOSS
Become immortal
LIKE A BOSS
Human pincushion
LIKE A BOSS
Lose immortality
LIKE A BOSS
Whine about it
LIKE A BOSS
Spelunking
LIKE A BOSS
Giant monster
LIKE A BOSS
Eaten by a jerk
LIKE A BOSS
Not a problem
LIKE A BOSS
More adventures
LIKE A BOSS
Stabbed with magic sword
LIKE A BOSS
Walk it off again
LIKE A BOSS
New clothes
LIKE A BOSS
Nuclear explosion
LIKE A BOSS
Limp it off
LIKE A BOSS
Get wasted
LIKE A BOSS
Fight diseases
LIKE A BOSS
Character development
LIKE A BOSS
Collect lethal toys
LIKE A BOSS
Talk to nature
LIKE A BOSS
Eat space dust
LIKE A BOSS
Tastes like gin
LIKE A BOSS
Harm a lawyer
LIKE A BOSS
Rock out to Lordi
LIKE A BOSS
Kill it with fire
LIKE A BOSS
Fight bug people
LIKE A BOSS
Throw a party
LIKE A BOSS
Mega hangover
LIKE A BOSS
Lose my toys
LIKE A BOSS
Wizard contract
LIKE A BOSS
Lucha Libre
LIKE A BOSS
Freaking lose
LIKE A BOSS
Kill it with fire
LIKE A BOSS
Jetpack Hitler
LIKE A BOSS
Stop a Balrog
LIKE A BOSS
Go on vacation
LIKE A BOSS
Heavy metal
LIKE A BOSS
Play Dark Souls
LIKE A BOSS
Rage quit
LIKE A BOSS
DDR dance time
LIKE A BOSS
Buy a car
LIKE A BOSS
Rob a bank
LIKE A BOSS
Bank’s closed
LIKE A BOSS
Rob a gas station
LIKE A BOSS
Evade the cops
LIKE A BOSS
Teach some kids
LIKE A BOSS
Drink coffee
LIKE A BOSS
Grading papers
LIKE A BOSS
Bored to death
LIKE A BOSS
Giant spiders
LIKE A BOSS
Set them on fire
LIKE A BOSS
Run a fortress
LIKE A BOSS
Manage dorfs
LIKE A BOSS
Kill it with fire
LIKE A BOSS
Tantrum spiral
LIKE A BOSS
Killed by SB Death Lords
LIKE A BOSS
Brought back to life
LIKE A BOSS
Make an RP
LIKE A BOSS
Watch it die
LIKE A BOSS
After a week
LIKE A BOSS
Eat some toffee
LIKE A BOSS
Chug hot sauce
LIKE A BOSS
Too spicy
LIKE A BOSS
Enjoy wine
LIKE A BOSS
It’s really good wine
LIKE A BOSS
Socialism
LIKE A BOSS
Plot a revolution
LIKE A BOSS
Sabotage comrades
LIKE A BOSS
Betrayed
LIKE A BOSS
So ironic
LIKE A BOSS
Destroy a gulag
LIKE A BOSS
Kill it with fire
LIKE A BOSS
Abducted by aliens
LIKE A BOSS
Insane asylum
LIKE A BOSS
Start a cult
LIKE A BOSS
Buy a timeshare
LIKE A BOSS
Poor investments
LIKE A BOSS
Go bankrupt
LIKE A BOSS
Walk it off some more
LIKE A BOSS
Throw a pie
LIKE A BOSS
Begging on the streets
LIKE A BOSS
Mug strangers
LIKE A BOSS
Taser in my eye
LIKE A BOSS
Hobo eyepatch
LIKE A BOSS
Draw cabbages
LIKE A BOSS
Golden toilets
LIKE A BOSS
Burn down an orphanage city
LIKE A BOSS
Ride a carousel
LIKE A BOSS
Punch clowns
LIKE A BOSS
Go swimming
LIKE A BOSS
Shark attack
LIKE A BOSS
Kill it with fire
LIKE A BOSS
Insult a robot
LIKE A BOSS
Get my butt kicked
LIKE A BOSS
Brofist a demon
LIKE A BOSS
Wheel of Fortune
LIKE A BOSS
Visit Fresno
LIKE A BOSS
Serious trauma
LIKE A BOSS
Read a fairytale
LIKE A BOSS
Wrestle bears
LIKE A BOSS
Write a fanfic
LIKE A BOSS
Drunk podcast
LIKE A BOSS
Fail at baseball
LIKE A BOSS
Quit the Jazz Club
LIKE A BOSS
Join a band
LIKE A BOSS
Hablo unas idiomas extranjeros
COMO UN JEFE
Read a book
LIKE A BOSS
Kill it with fire
LIKE A BOSS
Settle down
LIKE A BOSS
Start a family
LIKE A BOSS
Sneak nachos on the side
LIKE A BOSS
Mock my family
LIKE A BOSS
Buy new pants
LIKE A BOSS
Loving kinship
LIKE A BOSS
Abandon family
LIKE A BOSS
Run out of nachos
LIKE A BOSS
Resume adventures
LIKE A BOSS
SB Addiction
LIKE A BOSS
Make another RP
LIKE A BOSS
Epic sales pitch
LIKE A BOSS
Write some memoirs
LIKE A BOSS
Become a has-been
LIKE A BOSS
Publicity stunts
LIKE A BOSS
Chop my legs off
LIKE A BOSS
Pilot my own sub
LIKE A BOSS
Deep sea adventures
LIKE A BOSS
Kill it with fire
LIKE A BOSS
Sink my ship
LIKE A BOSS
Sub implodes
LIKE A BOSS
Now I’m dead
LIKE A BOSS”
“Uh-hrm.” The interviewer said. “So that’s your life?”
“Without a doubt.” I confidently replied.
“You survive a nuclear explosion, played Dark Souls, piloted a submarine and died?
“Yeah, man.”
“...and I’m pretty sure there was something in there about getting tased in the eye.”
“Nah bro, I keep it real.”
The interviewer started gathering some papers from his desk, then he packed them away in a folder and got out of his chair. “I think this has been an enlightening experience. Have a good day, Mister World.”
“I’m the boss.”
“Yes, you said that at least fifty times.”
“I’m the boss.”
“We’re done here.” He stormed out of the room, clearly having lost all patience. It was obvious what had happened. He simply couldn't wait to explain my amazing pitch to his managers and turn it into an RP as soon as possible!
LIKE A BOSS