Realistic or Modern nonbinary angstlord seeking other angstlord

[Find it Find it]

i will rp romance but its not my priority. i want angst, heartbreak, struggle, bonding, concern, characters trying to save each other, characters getting mad at each other. i dont care what it is, I want it to be dramatic and raw and melodramatic and gentle and real.
i prefer platonic but can get down with certain chemistries.
queer roleplayer of queer characters (dont hit me up about slur discourse)

a salad list of all things i like

• one character being visibly unwell for any reason and the second character being worried or caring
• characters with conditions/disabilities and mental illnesses
• apocalypses
• dystopias
• creepy utopias
• modern, but make it shitty and gritty.
• modern blended with fantasy. the oppression of fantasy creatures.
• worldbuilding
• psychological themes
• psychological horror
• horror
• grief
• hurt/comfort
• awkward will they wont they romance
• resentment
• anger
• buildup into fighting
• depictions of addiction
• fantasy elements (specifically, fantasy humanoids and magic)
• SERIOUS devastating industrial levels of angst.

my characters may change drastically between thread to thread because I modify characters extensively across threads while sticking to a few threadlines. this is in part because several of my characters are written as non-deific reincarnating beings who maintain continuity between lifetimes and hold some small level of magic powers sometimes but who are ultimately just existentially trapped in the reality of having had a single continuous experience for billions of years only to be locked in societies that do not honor or recognize their experiences whatsoever, so they just quietly snap under the weight of bizarre knowledge and total isolation.

some of them have anomalies that are consistent, such as the one who can change shape at will or the one who cannot sleep without summoning disaster. some of them have anomalies that are inconsistent across reincarnations, sometimes resulting in realities where any human being who touches my character is instantly evaporated.

for roleplays that do not honor the supernatural, these characters enter 'forgetting' phases, where they move through reincarnations with no recollection.