Name Calling..A Theraputic PSA

[call me rae]

So I decided to edit this for anonomity and neutrality as I think my previous one had a little too much hurt feelings and not enough focus on the point I was trying to make.


When someone tells you that something you've said is hurtful or they feel your being rude you shouldn't ignore their feelings.


It's rude to say that someone shouldn't feel a certain way just because you don't happen to agree with it.


If someone does call you out on your behavior - which @The Dark Wizard did for me in my previous thread - the correct response is to take their feelings into advisement and either apologies, explain if there was a misunderstanding, or say nothing at all.


If it was a misunderstanding - and those happen on the internet where it's hard to sometimes tell when a person is being sarcastic or joking - then say sorry and explain what you were trying to say.


If it was just unintentional then again apologies and move on.


If what you said doesn't need to be defended or if you have no desire to change your stance then the best course of action is to just walk away so to speak.


No for all you wee lasses and lads who find yourself on the receiving end of hurtful comments or demeaning attitudes I repeat my previous advice


1. ignore them - figuratively and using the literal ignore feature


2. talk to an administrator about whether or not the issue is severe enough to warrant reporting.


3. if the person is being persistent or harassing you then simply click the red report button.


PS - thanks to the @The Dark Wizard for informing me that the previously scenario was something that could be reported.

 

[Chordling]

I sure hope this wasn't an issue on this site.

 

[call me rae]

I sure hope this wasn't an issue on this site.

Sadly it was which is why I posted this. If it had happened on my other roleplay site - where the average age is 20 + - then I'd have just ranted to my girlfriends and then let it go.


But the fact that someone on a site with a lot of teens thought this was an okay way to talk to someone worried me. I mean suppose that remark HAD been directed at a 14 year old. Yeah some might let it roll of their back but others would take it really personally.


And like it's not okay to tell people that regardless of age but especially not if you think your talking to a kid.

 

[The Dark Wizard]

Is making a public thread about it any better though?


Who is worse, you or them.


Ranting about it really won't solve anything but further hurt someone's feelings.


The most mature thing to do is if you feel offended to click that report button. Which I've now made red across the site for everyone's convenience.

 

[call me rae]

[QUOTE="The Dark Wizard]Is making a public thread about it any better though?
Who is worse, you or them.


Ranting about it really won't solve anything but further hurt someone's feelings.


The most mature thing to do is if you feel offended to click that report button. Which I've now made red across the site for everyone's convenience.

[/QUOTE]
I didn't actually know this could be reported or I would have done that originally. My understanding was that only like racial slurs or sexual harrasment was something that could be reported.


But I do thank you for your advise and I have edited the above post to remove my personal feelings and focus on the issue at hand - treating people with respect.

 

[The Dark Wizard]

I didn't actually know this could be reported or I would have done that originally. My understanding was that only like racial slurs or sexual harrasment was something that could be reported.

Honestly?


Anything and everything can be reported, its our responsibility as staff to sort through it and find out which ones are rule breaking and how to deal with them accordingly. If you feel that something made you feel harassed, you can report it and we will be the final judge.

 

[call me rae]

[QUOTE="The Dark Wizard]Honestly?
Anything and everything can be reported, its our responsibility as staff to sort through it and find out which ones are rule breaking and how to deal with them accordingly. If you feel that something made you feel harassed, you can report it and we will be the final judge.

[/QUOTE]
Gotcha. I guess I'm gun shy because in my previous roleplay sites everything was like way too strict and I know in one they could like kick you out of the roleplay forums if you posted a search thread twice in a 24 hour period.


And I mean like they literally counted the hours which was stressful because I didn't exactly have consistent access to the internet so it was hard to line up my bumps to be exactly 24 hours apart.


For that matter I got like flagged by a mod in another site because some girl accused me of stealing a layout that I had brought from her - using site currency so it was like something I could prove took place.


I was a wee little lassie at the time and it really freaked me out. Looking back on it probably nothing would have happened since I obviously didn't steal anything and more over if asked I could have proven it.


But I ended up leaving that site I was so rattled which has left me with a deep fear of reporting anyone.


Because in my mind it's like basically a step away from getting someone kicked out.


Obviously that's not how it works realistically but it's hard to loose that reflex.


It's why I usually just ignore - unless like a friend of mine is involved. Because then I know it's a reoccuring issue and I feel more justified in potentially getting this person kicked out.