Monologues..

[Soul Stealer]

Darkness. What has been my friend for so long is now my worst nightmare. My heart, once vibrant and bright, is now stone cold. I can act all I want, as is my metaphysical job, but on the inside and the outside, I cannot reach what I have always been reaching for. Even now, as I sit and pretend, my face is twisted in not a grimace of pain, but a smile of bliss that I can never have again. As I sit and pretend, I begin to notice things more. How people stumble, how people soar, how people before me have changed the world. I cannot change the world. I'm just me, nothing special. If you try hard enough, you will grow wings and fly, said no one ever. Stay in the present and what's real is all there is. I am on the border of physical and metaphysical reality, what I see is not real and what is real I cannot see. I am only me, therefore I am nothing. A year after two lifesavers that haven't been swept away with the current began to slowly go with the flow of the raging society, and they still try, but I am only me, therefore, I am nothing, and anything that is near me doesn't matter. So I am left with one thing, one option. I reach and struggle to stay afloat, but sirens call up from under the water, their beautiful voices telling me that everything will be ok, but the twisted reality of my soul knows that will not happen! I keep struggling, but by then, my last hope has floated away with the bugs and the fish and the leaves of fall. But it was Spring, but now.. it is a whole new season, or a whole new world. Thrust into a new sea of crocodiles that attack whenever I begin to let up, the siren's voices carrying on forever. Someone approaches me from their ship of safety and calls down, but I cannot reach, so they move on. Two demons of infinite power call down to me, but I cannot let up, even when I have nothing to grab for. When I finally am filled up, even the demons can see that I am not what they care about, so they leave. The crocodiles swim around me and ignore when I let myself sink to the bottom of the ocean that is life, but the bottom never comes below my feet, and I know that this is a trap! But I try and lift my legs only to find out that the siren's songs drown out any thoughts I have and I become oblivion, oblivion at last. I cannot move, I cannot think. Men with knives cut off a little of my soul and feed it to the crocodiles every day, and now I am nothing. Nothing but me. My strength is gone, my compassion taken down to nothing. A blank space. I am nothing. I am unique in the worst way possible in the way that I am empty. Nobody else wants to join me, nobody else can join me. Only people like me such as nobody ever lay beside me, at the bottom of the ocean, and I am nothing.

 

[Magick]

As a theatre person.. I just read this out loud, just for fun. No joke.

 

[Soul Stealer]

Well... good for you...? xD


Takes me a long time to come up with ideas for these by the way... 90% of my ideas I consider not worth it lol

 

[Magick]

I said that because I loved the dramatic tone of it. xD Sorry, my communications skills are off today.


And I'd imagine something like this would take a while! But, hey-- kudos!

 

[Soul Stealer]

Hah, thanks.


Don't worry, I suck at that too xD

 

[Soul Stealer]

Every single night I sleep a dreamless sleep. I don't mind, as while I sleep oblivious to my thoughts, don't I pay attention to them both in the wake? It doesn't matter that I don't dream. I feel the wind on my cheeks and the little sprinkles of rain, just beginning to form, hitting my arms as I spread them and feel truly free- no schedules, no deadlines, no worries. I always sit down, alone, up there until the second hour. I think about things, like why my previous job hadn't worked out. I don't have any relationships to stress over and I'm glad for that. But a glint of a heavenly spark catches my eye, and I know who it is. I see her with my eyes closed or open, all the time. It's the thing, the only thing, that is able to make my mind go, 'Wait, what?' because there is nothing quite as perfect as she. While others may think differently, that is because they are not me, going out in the early hours of the morning to sit and think. But as I stare out into the waves, I have regrets. I wish I had been brave enough to ask her of her name, instead of hearing it once. Even then, I could see perfection etched on her face as clearly as a sailor spots a iceberg from their perch. I manage to talk to her a little before I shrink away, my cheeks red and my lips frozen in a smile. I wish I had more courage. If I was a brave man instead of a child... who knows how easily I could do all of this? I see cars passing behind me, and the driver always looks at me funny when they see me. One car stops where they needed to stop and their driver gets out of the vehicle and- it's her. I stumble to my feet and run, run. Towards perfection. But as I near, I know I am too far away. She leaves to wherever she needed to go. I stumble to the car and lean against the side, waiting for her to return. I must, I cannot give up now. However, I get a little sleepy from being up so early all these nights- but I can't decide when to stop. My eyes droop and despite my fight to keep them open, I close my eyes and fall asleep. I wake up an hour later in a car and I look across to the driver's seat and my heart stops. I look at her and she looks to me and smiles and I have another heart attack. But... that didn't actually happen. I did not run after perfection, neither did perfection come after me. I only wish... I had been a little stronger. I still stay up there from two to three in the morning, but now I watch to see if perfection comes. And every night my dreams are filled with perfection, only until I am strong enough. Then... who knows?